Good News!

by Jeff Sullivan on May 6, 2009 12:59 AM PDT in Seattle Mariners News, Bad

From what I've been hearing, pitcher Shawn Kelley has a strained oblique, but it's more like a torn one to be honest. Now, get this straight. A strained muscle is, in fact, a tear. There are different degrees of tearing in strains, from microscopic to more severe. And from what I'm hearing, this one could keep Kelley out about a month. Maybe even six weeks. We don't know yet, but he's definitely heading to the DL.

Somehow Garrett Olson doesn't make me feel any better about this.

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Brilliant.

by ThundaPC on May 6, 2009 1:15 AM PDT reply actions

Can we please trade all our productive bullpen guys to the Clevelan d Indians or someone depserate for help bccause they fucking dusck. for whateve rthey have in AAA because we’re not winning this division and we have some tradeable pices that aren’t really part of tehfuture. so trade their asses for talent now! Aardsma and Lowe ought to be worth something… if not righ tow then in a few months… but Seriously, Cleveland has got to be fucking pissed abou thteir bullpen right this second. And I dont’ really care if we dump some of thesepleasent surprises becasue we’ll be happy hapy fun land in the land of sky blue waters if we can get some prospero’s books out of those honkey moptherfuckers. Enjoyu thye sauce.

by johnbai on May 6, 2009 1:19 AM PDT reply actions

"drink more? that usualy doesnt work in terms of enhancing comprehension."

- rljaws

...and now I'm here

by CapSea on May 6, 2009 1:25 AM PDT up reply actions

LL needs that sobriety test that they put into GoogleMail

you’d have to solve some basic math problems before you could post anything.

This might also prevent trolling by morons unable to do a simple math problem.

by johnbai on May 6, 2009 9:12 AM PDT up reply actions

Maybe probability ones would be better

by Graham MacAree on May 6, 2009 9:16 AM PDT up reply actions

That way we could decide who can and cannot vote.

by JI on May 6, 2009 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions

I could follow your argument until you hit "prospero’s books out of those honkey moptherfuckers. Enjoyu thye sauce" = what were you getting at there?

by Decatur on May 6, 2009 9:31 AM PDT up reply actions

Prospects are known to Shakespearian scholars as "prospero's books"

Enjoy the sauce was a reference to Star Control 2. Not sure how that slipped in.

by johnbai on May 6, 2009 10:10 AM PDT up reply actions

Great game.

Prospero’s Books…. damn it, get Gielgud away from all the dancing penises!

by marc w on May 6, 2009 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions

How come whenever you say good news it almost always means bad news?

by JI on May 6, 2009 1:38 AM PDT reply actions

Good news!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D1cap6yETA

(…and bad news)

Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"

by bluemax on May 6, 2009 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions