JESUS CHRIST MARINERS
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 2:05 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners News, Awful
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I...I mean...Just...
This is a dark, dark day for humanity as a whole.
This is the first time in my life where I can say with 100% honesty that I hate the Mariners and regret ever having rooted for them
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 2:08 PM PDT reply actions 6 recs
Just wait until
All Your Base Are Belong To Us night.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
by pdb on May 20, 2009 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, All your Base is one of the original internet memes.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.433 wOBA, 21 years old.
/Sega Genesis memes
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions
This is the worst case scenario
Rebecca Hale and her fellow soccer moms have now totally take over Safeco. I almost want a jackhole hick from Okie City to come steal the team now. Almost.
I'm not even lying
I have the biggest smile on my face right now.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on May 20, 2009 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
Now you have gone too far sir.
Go Angels Jeff? I think I just threw up in mouth a little bit.
Fear the NPE
I would've thought so too but here we are
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Ridiculously stupid promotions may come and go. . .
. . . but my Grandchildren will F’ing loathe the Angels.
Fear the NPE
I wish the Ms had waited to announce this until Jeff's jury duty went to deliberations and somehow I was able to text him at that point.
by Matthew on May 20, 2009 2:13 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
"Has the jury reached a decision?"
“We have your honor. We find the defendant, John Smith, guilty of 3rd degree burglary. And one of the jurors is recommending the sentence be death by hanging. "
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.433 wOBA, 21 years old.
by Goose on May 20, 2009 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
I bet they actually make money off this though.
So who’s the retards?
The fans. That’s who.
Are lolcats even still popular though?
Like, even with retards?
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions
at the risk of sounding my age
what’s a mudkip?
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Don't worry, I don't know what it is either.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Depends, is half wayish to you old?
Heh.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm so much closer to a subsidized bus pass than you it's not even FUNNY
yeah, I got nothin’.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
This is where I reply to you in a witty manner about age.
You may have had more…
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions
A pokemon made famous by a strange kid who really liked Mudkips.
by .Taylor on May 20, 2009 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Back in my day, we had old only 150 Pokemon (plus Mew).
It’s all very bewildering for us elderly people.
All the new ones don't count >:(
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions
For the record Taylor H has left me all his recs.
This is to avoid any confusion over the rightful heir to the inheritance.
by Decatur on May 20, 2009 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
You're an aspiring retard fuckface
I’m looking forward to John Carlson saying ‘i can has replacement acl pleez’?
by Graham MacAree on May 20, 2009 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
What do you have against John Carlson?
Just asking.
by R.J. Anderson on May 20, 2009 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions
Don't say such things :(
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions
This is hilarious. I mean not for what is it so much as someone approved it.
And they surely had no f’n idea what they were approving.
"Based on his size and strength, I bet the Predator monster would make a pretty good ball player. I mean, the fear would be that he would kill all the other players.."
Dammit, Jeff. You scared the hell out of me.
I thought we had another one of these situations:
I’m sure Fett could make a new version with the M’s marketing director in GMZ’s place, which would be warranted, but GAH!
Alternately we could roll with it and turn the place into LOLcat Landing and then kill ourselves
by Graham MacAree on May 20, 2009 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions 9 recs
A LOLOCAUST
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
by pdb on May 20, 2009 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions 10 recs
OUR RAGE CAN ONLY PROPERLY BE CONVEYED IN CAPS LOCK
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Who goofed? I've got to know!
My keyboard won't write in cursive!
by shonjuan on May 20, 2009 2:19 PM PDT reply actions
I work with a guy that loves those things.
Prints them out and puts them on the office noteboard and everything.
Just wait till DRB finds out about this.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.433 wOBA, 21 years old.
Just so you know, I'm more or less in agreement with you guys collectively.
"Where we all wait in earnest with pudding in hand for the Upton comet to sail through the roofed skies, so that we may meet Him."
IS IT BAD THAT I AM ENJOYING THE REACTION?
by Kirsten Schlewitz on May 20, 2009 2:21 PM PDT reply actions
NO, I AM TOO.
CAUSE I REALLY DON’T CARE WHAT MY TEAM DOES IF IT RELATES IN NO WAY TO THE ON THE FIELD PRODUCT.
"Based on his size and strength, I bet the Predator monster would make a pretty good ball player. I mean, the fear would be that he would kill all the other players.."
Something this horrible has got to make the players feel ashamed to play for the Mariners
That might project onto the field
"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.
No.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Mariner promotion create Game Thread Emotion. It’s making me laugh.
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions
I can't believe I'm seeing this, on the official Mariners web site
I’m speechless
"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.
I'm so happy.
Already bought my tickets.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on May 20, 2009 2:22 PM PDT up reply actions
I think you just submitted yourself to the 'fans are retarded' comment by Matthew up above.
But dammit, we know you are doing this out of spite… and it’s hilarious!
This is getting submitted to Fark for all to see.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.433 wOBA, 21 years old.
I can't think of a clever enough headline to get a green.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.433 wOBA, 21 years old.
THERE IS NO HEADLINE
IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions
IS THIS YOU?
Mark ur kalendurz: July 9 iz a Cheezburger Nite wif teh Seeattul Maranurz
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions
I think this comment wins:
I’m relieved that the Mariners are having I Can Haz Cheezburger night instead of the usual Failblog night.
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Yes I would enjoy a delicious cheeseburger
I’m very grateful that the Mariners have decided to offer me one in such a charming manner.
The pup that laughs when you're down on your luck.
by Scrappy the Scapegoat on May 20, 2009 2:23 PM PDT reply actions 7 recs
God I love cheeseburgers also.
I hope I get free ones.
by Seattle Rodiners on May 21, 2009 12:15 AM PDT up reply actions
Well Jeff has officially lost it.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on May 20, 2009 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Sorry sir, but LOLCats are against the rules.
Please reread the community guidelines before commenting further.
by R.J. Anderson on May 20, 2009 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions
MAYBE IT'S LIKE A DOUBLE NEGATIVE?
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 2:26 PM PDT up reply actions
NOOOOOO SCRUFFY NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
THIS IS MORE VERBOTEN THAN THE RALLY RASH! DON’T ENGAGE IN SELF-IMMOLATION!
Oh my god, I had erased the Rally Rash from my brain.
The Rise of a Superstar:Justin Upton-.433 wOBA, 21 years old.
YOUR HIGH HORSE IS FEEBLE RELATIVE TO THE ONCOMING FOUR
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
I wonder what Niehaus' reaction to this will be.
by Matthew on May 20, 2009 2:24 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Perhaps his first F-bomb dropping ever?
And perhaps a “retard” drop too?
by Seattle Rodiners on May 21, 2009 12:15 AM PDT up reply actions
WHAT IF ALL THE PLAYERS ARE WEARING LOLCAT JERSEYS
by .Taylor on May 20, 2009 2:24 PM PDT reply actions
That would be the world's worst idea
which means it’ll definitely happen.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
As long as it's either the one pictured above or Bill The Cat
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Hello, there.
Please take a gander and include a subject line in the future.
I completely approve of this.
It’s like the worst Bill Veeck promotion ever, except 1000 times worse.
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions
I would rather lick whipped cream off Carlos Silva's nipples
by Graham MacAree on May 20, 2009 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
The video was surprisingly inoffensive considering the title
I expected so much worse
by Simon Phoenix on May 20, 2009 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't understand what they're doing for this promotion.
Is it just a T-Shirt? That makes the stupid idea even stupider.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
I would be willing to bet all the scoreboard stuff between innings will be in lolcatese
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
I BELIEVE THIS IS SIMPLY A GROUP PURCHASE OF TICKETS AND AS SUCH IS NOT AN OFFICIAL MARINER PROMOTION
NEVERTHELESS HOLY HELL
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions
I almost just posted +1 there to make fun of them, but then I hated myself for thinking about LSB for any reason other than illicit substances.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions
The fact that they are doing this right before training camp shows that they worry about losing me forever.
Good Show Mariners. Now just resign Felix and I’ll stay forever.
I would love to have a 104 loss hat.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions
So if it's a promotion, you know, LL members could buy tickets and "enhance" this.
Not that I’d be suggesting creatively sabotaging the world’s most horrible promotion in an amusing manner or anything. That would be wrong.
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 2:37 PM PDT reply actions
I wonder if they are going to throw out a first cheeseburger
by Robert on May 20, 2009 2:42 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Maybe a first LOLcat
And our first pitch is sponsored by PETA…
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Well there went any thought
Of flying out for the July series ……..
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) also -
"Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance."
~Ambrose Bierce
by Ed Coffin on May 20, 2009 2:46 PM PDT reply actions
You're a Mariners fan, right?
I think the answer to that question should be pretty obvious now.
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions
I think I know who planned this event.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on May 20, 2009 2:48 PM PDT reply actions 12 recs
SILVA GREMLIN?
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions
HOLY SHIT
I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.
by EnglishMariner on May 20, 2009 5:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I am so ashamed right now
Burn in hell for this Mariners. B urn in hell!
It's right next to the "Z" key you idiot!
This signature space for rent.
by PositivePaul on May 20, 2009 6:11 PM PDT up reply actions
God this is what happens when you post about the Rays on a Mariners blog we've become one of them.
You reap what you sow.
You got slurved!
Free Tommy Hanson! Free Jeff Clement! Free Michael Saunders!
That was at least somewhat benign in its silliness
this is out-and-out ridiculous and embarrassing.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Sponsored by the website maybe? They've been in the paper recently, beat out some competition for best comedy website, something like that.
I wish the M’s hadn’t done this, it’s embarrassing.
Couldn't they do what every other self-aware thing does these days
and get Stephen Colbert to demand it be named after him?
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Depends how Robert is feeling that day
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Time T: Open game thread
T+2 seconds: Close comments
by Graham MacAree on May 20, 2009 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
I think I might make a full time move
to True Blue LA.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
A less homersexual shade of blue
is what I had in mind.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
Basically every school who's main color is blue prides themselves on being "true blue."
And baby blue down on the list of being true blue.
"noo cheez friends"
Did they take something crappy, make it crappier by having an event, and then make it even crappier by coming up with “cheez friends”?
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
Seems to be what they did, yep
and it’ll only get worse as it gets closer, probably. If they make Niehaus talk about this on air that’ll be disgusting.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
I wonder if Dave will think they handed him the wrong piece of paper with all the not real words on the paper.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions
If he's going to sound like he's drunk he might as well show up drunk
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions
I see no potential problems with this idea.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions
If he pronounces it like it's spelled I might have to turn him off, that would be a first.
Then again he might have fun with it, probably depends on how the M’s are playing
Felix vs. some ass for Baltimore if the rotation holds.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Whoops, one game off.
Jakubauska vs. Some ass from the Rangers if the rotation holds.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions
All of a sudden
I want to have Turn Ahead the Clock night back.
Griffey looks like he just heard about cheezburger night.
I'm more like I am now than I've ever been.
by ralphie81 on May 20, 2009 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hell Yes
Turn ahead the clock to the future Mariner.
by Seattle Rodiners on May 21, 2009 12:20 AM PDT up reply actions
If they ran 25 cent beers that night, this could have some serious Disco Demolition night potential.
OK, so I'm apparently older and further out of touch than I thought
Aside from the atrocious text language, what I so offensive? I also have no idea what a Lolcat or a Mudkip is.
The deadest meme imaginable, I guess.
There were some funny ones when they came out, but now they’re just old and hackneyed.
They're not offensive, they're just completely, utterly not funny
and there’s really no good reason to build a real-world promotion out of an internet meme.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Mets fans voted to be Rick Rolled at every home game for their 8th inning song last year.
If I recall correctly, the Mets just decided not to do what the fans said. I hate when the internet blurs into real life.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions
You do recall correctly
I don’t remember what they went with, but it wasn’t the Astley.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
They might have, I don't remember. I just know the refused to make it the 8th inning song.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions
They played it once and everyone booed
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions
They played each candidate song for one game
and then Jeff typed faster than me.
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
Cartoon Network Rick Rolled the Macy's parade
that was even worse. And I think the Mets thing was flooded by voters from all corners of the internet. I remember Mets fans on one forum I read trying to get people to flood in Rick Astley votes.
Paris Hilton, Burberry plaid, reality TV, mullets, Zima, Dubya, and the Sonics being sold to Oklahoma City. - Yahoo Answer results for "7 Signs of the Apocalypse"
I can imagine a worse one is on the way.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions
It's the worst meme in normal people history
by Graham MacAree on May 20, 2009 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Why would you even joke about that
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions
They would have to be quarantined to their own section, away from actual people.
If that was the stipulation, I might be ok with it.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 20, 2009 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions
The Jumbotron for that game of crowd shots would be amusing.
As would the TV broadcast.
by eponymous_coward on May 20, 2009 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Furries are odd, yet hilarious creatures.
LOLCats have zero redeemable qualities.
Also: one of these two caused a World Series run.
by R.J. Anderson on May 20, 2009 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh my god.
That would be the best thing ever.
NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!
by Scruffy Lefty on May 20, 2009 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions
I do not understand how you think you are more qualified than me to state this.
by R.J. Anderson on May 20, 2009 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Like I haven't had to put up with your community's bullshit
by Jeff Sullivan on May 20, 2009 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
They were mostly behaved this go around.
by R.J. Anderson on May 20, 2009 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm just saying, how often have your users posted bondage pics of former presidents?
by R.J. Anderson on May 20, 2009 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions
is this in any way shape or form safe for work?
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
You can answer that by looking at where the subthread takes off.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Figured as much but thought I'd ask anyway
Nice Guys Finish Third - My semantics are a waste of time.
As art person, a historian and a perv*, I like this kind of stuff.
*I use perv in the best possible light.
Well, there's modern art for you.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on May 20, 2009 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions
You're fortunate then.
It’s not offensive, it’s just tedious. It was funny for a while when it first came out, years ago, but now it’s irritating.
I had a co-worker last year who would talk in lolcat speak on a semi-regular basis.