OTPOTD (Monday, April 27, 2009) ---- Because Kermit's OT Reached 750 Comments Edition

1. What happens when you put 5 emo kids in a square room?
2. Unusually wide array of music likes… no real fave artists now though
3. Ben from LOST… seems to be hated and relied on by everyone on that damn island, and he’s creepy
4. Not caring
5. Hesitant at first, but very happy with the pick. Still think we should keep Hill though, if the pockets are deep enough, but we traded Peterson at the right time

 and that makes me sad because I will never get to see Curry play and he seems like a player that might be kinda neat

1. A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked “Why the long face?”
2. Chuck Pyle, Robert Plant, Ian Tyson, John Denver, Eric Clapton right now
3. Hank Hill, because he represents everything I want to be in life. House is a close second, because like you said, he’s ridiculously badass.
4. If it ends up being everyone overreacting, I won’t be surprised. If it kills us all, I won’t be surprised.
5. Indifferent

1. Women’s rights.
2. Nirvana, The Strokes, Jimmy Eat World, Early Queens of the Stone Age, Radiohead
3. Jim Halpert because.
4. It’s SARS III
5. Yes. I like a lot about the draft except for the lack of a Brian Russell replacement.

1. Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
2. Dead Moon, KARP, the Melvins, the Sonics, the Wipers
3. Tobias Funke because he’s the perfect vessel for David Cross’ humor.
4. Like almost every major news story in the history of the world it’s something worth paying attention to/staying informed about/possibly being concerned about but the level of overreaction at the moment is absurd.
5. Sure.

It doesn’t matter, he ain’t comin’ anyways

The uniforms are not what was most notable from the game but instead the recap definitely stole the show, since it was done entirely in a style of speech from the 30’s/40’s. Absolutely awesome to hear somebody say, after a Tech base hit, “And the good guys get a trolley on the tracks!”

While checking the church storeroom, the pastor discovered several cases of new Bibles that never had been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise money for the church. Jack, Paul, and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie, a local farmer who always had kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But because he didn’t want to discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the backseats of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, “Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?” Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, “Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.”

“Fine job, Jack!” the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. “You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you.”

Turning to Paul, he said, “And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the church last week?”

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, “I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s the $280 I collected.”

The minister responded, “That’s absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you.”

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, “And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?” Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. “Louie, there’s $3,200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?” Louie just nodded.

“That’s impossible!” both Jack and Paul said in unison. “We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could.”

“Yes, this does seem unlikely,” the minister agreed. “I think you’d better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.”

Louie shrugged. “I-I-I re-re-re-really do-do-do-don’t kn-kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,” he stammered. “A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-s-said wa-wa-wa-was ‘W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-like t-t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-Bible f-f-f-for t-t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks o-o-o-or wo-wo-wo-would yo-yo-yo-you j-j-j-just l-l-l-like m-m-m-me t-t-t-to st-st-st-stand h-h-h-here and r-r-r-read it t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?’”

1. I’m horrible at remembering jokes.
2. K’naan, The Hold Steady, Local H, Turbonegro, Old 97’s (based on what I’ve been listening to a lot in the past month. Ask me in three days and this will be a completely different list)
3. Barney Stinson because he’s funny as crap and yet sadly pathetic at the same time.
4. It’s a flu. Like all other flus, it will pass. People will die, and this is sad. But like ac says, the level of hype around it is stupid and unrealistic. I’m waiting for the killer bees, myself.
5. I don’t know anything about football except GOOD GOD ESPN DO YOU REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE DRAFT FOR TWO WEEKS BEFORE AND A WEEK AFTER IT HAPPENS IN EVERY SEGMENT OF SPORTSCENTER? REALLY? MOCK DRAFTS? C’MON. sorry. had to get that off my chest.

1. Carlos Silva
2. Parenthetical Girls, Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band, Quasi, The Thermals, Dr. Dog
3. George Costanza. Greatest TV character of all time. Currents include Frank on It’s Always Sunny (ridiculously funny), Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm (most awkward situations created), and Elliott Stabler on Law and Order SVU (plays the part so well, kicks rapists asses).
4. Kind of concern worthy but way overhyped.
5. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. And Unger! And Bobby Engram 2.0 (plus speed!)!
On top of that, I really like some of the later picks (Reed) and undrafted free-agents (Bennett). And we signed Kenny Lucas today!!

1. Pitchers Batting.
2. Well, three that I have been digging lately is Pearl Jam, Rush, and the Shins.
3. Stephen Colbert. And I don’t think I should, or need to explain why.
4. Seems like over-sensationalization.
5. Eh, only a casual football fan, but it seemed like the consensus here was that drafting Matt Sanchez would’ve been stupid, so kudos to the Seahawks.

and should you genuinely like a band that has had mainstream success well then then you’re a total fag.

1. Like pdb, I am kinda lousy at remembering good jokes. Sorry
2. Currently I’ve been listening to a lot of: Misery Signals, 3 Inches of Blood, Wolves in the Throne Room, and Glassjaw
3. Although I missed the last few seasons of it, my favorite TV character was always The Shield’s Vic Mackie
4. Swine Flu will be the thing I joke about for the next several months until it becomes real or goes away
5. I’m plenty ok with Mr. Curry being a Seahawk

1) Two muffins were sitting next to each other in the oven. One looks over to the other and says, “Man, it’s hot in here, eh?” The other muffin turns and looks at him and says “HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!” (works better in person)
2) I don’t really listen to that much music. Currently I’m digging a lot of Paramore (well as much as I can dig, with 2 albums to their name) and wondering if I should go to their show with No Doubt, or if I will be trampled to death by a herd of teenage girls. I really enjoyed Metallica’s Death Magnetic and have been spinning it fairly regularly. Alanis Morrissette has also been stuck in my head this week.
3) Toss up between Dale Gribble (King of the Hill) and Elim Garak from Star Trek DS9. Dale is hilarious, loves Mountain Dew, and has no regard for his own personal health, which I find amusing. Garak is just an amazingly intricate personality. If you enjoy Garak or DS9 in general, I heavily recommend A Stitch in Time, a novel written by Andrew Robinson who played Garak.
4) Meh
5) Not a Seahawks fan, a Broncos fan, their picks kind of dumfounded me with only a single player for the front 7, but after reading Mile High Report’s take I’m curious to see how it works out. The proof is in the pudding (the season), as they say.

Two Canadians are sitting in a bar, and they’re getting bored, so they decide to play 20 questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a word and after a little pondering comes up with the word: moosecock.

The second Canadian tries his first question, “Is it something good to eat?”

The first guy thinks a moment then laughs and replies “Sure, I suppose you could eat it.”

The second Canadian says, "Is it a moosecock?

1. A certain Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson, of whom you may have previously heard, decide to holiday in the English countryside after a taxing case. Through the moors they trek, as the sun dips below the horizon and the stars begin to wink into appearance in a crystal clear sky. Sensibly, they decide to set up camp. A fire is lit, a quick meal cook, and brandy (naturally) consumed, perhaps in excess. Eventually the embers die away and the famous duo drifts off to sleep.

Some hours later, Dr. Watson is awakened by a rude nudge to the ribs. A sharp whisper quickly follows: “Watson! Look up and tell me what you surmise.”

The sleep-stupefied Watson stares at the pinwheeling constellations for a few seconds, gathering his wits for a response. “Well, dear friend, I see stars. Many stars – nay, an infinity of stars. And should there be an infinite number of stars in the sky above, some of those stars must have planets such as our very Earth around them. And with an infinite amount of potential Earths, there must be some in the very conditions that we experience, and must be able to support life, and on some of those worlds intelligent life must thrive. I deduce, therefore, that even at this very moment, someone is looking back at us from an untold distance!”

A quick sigh.

“Watson, you are a stupendous idiot. Someone has stolen our tent.”

2. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Brand New, Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton/Metric, the Divorce, Muse.

3. I don’t really watch television, but I like Dr. Wilson from House.

4. Nothing, really. Mild worry but completely overridden by curiousity about what’s going to happen.

5. Taking apparently the best player available in the draft has to be a good thing.

You dress it and wrap it in warm blankets till it’s time to sleep and you hold it so it feels loved but not in a way that you might harm it. You take it to the grocery store and the pool and the libarary and soon you can’t but dread the time where it will methrophize.

But when that time does come it will hatch into a fucking rhinoceros Rexicorn who will gore and slaughter the entire NFL on his way to the magical kingdom of never ending smileandblissbowland before retiring to his subterranean chamber where it will stampede all over its fair maidens field.

1. Watson and Sherlock Holmes go camping in the woods. After a nice dinner, they clean up the campsite and go to sleep. Sometime while it’s still dark, Holmes wakes up Watson.
Holmes: Watson! Tell me, what do you see?
Watson: I see millions and millions of stars
Holmes: And what do you deduce from that?
Watson: Well, Astrologically, I see that Saturn is in Virgo. Horologically, I can see that it’s about half past two. Meteorologically, I suspect we will have another beautiful day tomorrow Theologically, I see that God is magnificent and all powerful, and that we are cosmically small and insignificant parts of his great Creation. But what do you deduce from this, Holmes?
Holmes: [pause] Watson, you idiot! Someone’s stolen our tent!

2. You will make fun of me, as it is a combination of mediocre hip-hop, rock that hasn’t been cool in at least five years, and U2.

3. Paul Giamatti as John Adams (plus OMG jimandpam and anyone from The Wire).

Also, Every Episode of House EVER.

4. Well. Let’s get looting.

5. I honestly cannot bring myself emotionally invest myself in professional sport except baseball – the Sounders a little bit, or whenever the greater glory of the city of Seattle is on the line, yes, but day in and day out no.

These take the cake!

What do the San Jose Sharks and the Titanic have in common?

They both look great until they hit the ice in April.