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Around SBN: NFL Players Ready To Welcome Gay Teammate

4/23: Open Game Thread

Tampa Bay Rays at Seattle Mariners, Apr 23, 2009 3:40 PM PDT






Felix Hernandez

#34 / Pitcher / Seattle Mariners

6-3

225

R

R

Apr 08, 1986



James Shields

#33 / Pitcher / Tampa Bay Rays

6-4

215

R

R

Dec 20, 1981



Fun fact: through three starts, Felix has allowed nearly as many fly balls as grounders! That's almost as encouraging as going in for an exam and having your doctor mutter "well that's new" under his breath while he pokes around your colon.

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Drayer raises the spectre of Burke at 1B

He was out there taking balls during BP, and Sweeney & Branyan are still out …

by msb on Apr 23, 2009 2:35 PM PDT reply actions  

Yup.

if Branyan can go, he’s out there. If not, Burke goes back out after his (brief) stint last year.

by msb on Apr 23, 2009 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

WHAT WHAT WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK.

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

CARPCARPCARPCARPCARP

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

Cedeno hurt his right hamstring when he scored on Lopez’s home run in the fifth inning last night.

by JI on Apr 23, 2009 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

WHAT

WHY DO ALL MY FAVORITES HURT THEIR HAMMIES?

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Apr 23, 2009 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

FREE SHELTON

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

James Shields looks ashamed of his facial hair in his photo.

It might have something to do with what he’s doing in the photo, but still…

"I have two normal feet and I can't see the slightest God-damned reason why anybody should stare at them."

by ImaginaryRomances on Apr 23, 2009 2:36 PM PDT reply actions  

Today is St Georges day. Today is King Felix day.

Be awesome, my King.

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 2:41 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

ITS FELIX DAY BITCHES

GIVE ME REASON TO GARGLE YOUR TOXIC SEX TONIC FROM THE GODS

by Robert on Apr 23, 2009 2:47 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Whee

Been a while since something on the internet has made me a little uncomfortable. Congratulations!

by Squinty on Apr 23, 2009 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

YOU AND ME JEFF, AND FELIX, NOW.

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Woohoo lineups per MLB.com

RF Ichiro
LF Chavez
2B Lopez (hitting third!)
3B Beltre
DH Balentien
C Johnson (!)
CF Gutz
SS Betancourt
1B Burke

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:00 PM PDT reply actions  

Is John McLaren managing today?

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:01 PM PDT reply actions  

I don't think either of them have options left

I was thinking Sean White

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm frankly not sure

He had all that time in Montrashington and then we burned a year this year so I can’t imagine he has any left

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

I know he used one in 2003, and I know he used one in 2008. If he used one in 2004 then he's out, but if he didn't he might have one left

But given that he went back and forth from Montreal in 2004 I think he’s out

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'd be perfectly fine with either.

Also, Burke for Clement wouldn’t cause me to cry at night.

by abender20 on Apr 23, 2009 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

I wouldn't want to mess with the 40 man roster just for what will hopefully be a one day thing

It’s not worth risking losing Burke or Corco. If somebody claimed Batista off waivers that would be really stupid but fine

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

(coughSheltoncough)

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

The more fastballs he throws, the harder he is to hit!

You’ve got to stay away from those breaking pitches!

HE’S A GENIUS!

by Smegmalicious on Apr 23, 2009 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

I like baseball

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Unfortunately, I have.

All too often.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Isn't that supposed to be his father?

And yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking of when I wrote that.

God I love that movie. I love that movie like Jeff loves Felix.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

"What hurts the most is the lack of respect, you know?"

“That’s what hurts the most. Except for the anal rape.”

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

Butchered.

“You know what hurts the most is the…the lack of respect. You know? That’s what hurts the most. Except for the… except for the other thing. That hurts the most. But the lack of respect hurts the second most. "

by abender20 on Apr 23, 2009 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not at all butchered.

He really says “anal rape.” Read his lips and you can tell. It was merely dubbed over to get the film a PG-13 rating.

And yes, I did leave out the second half.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

WHY THE FUCK DOES HE EVEN HAVE A JOB?

FSN SHOULD IMPORT ME TO DO THEIR PRE-GAME ANALYSIS BECAUSE HOLY CRAP I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN THAT TROGLODYTE.

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

DIE.

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

Burn.

I will smash your face into a jelly.

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Apr 23, 2009 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wait I'm still listening to the radio

and the feed hasn’t started s howing anything that should have audio

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

BJ Ryan to the DL

surprise face.gif

You know what? Fuck you Sports Gods, fuck you.

by bluemax on Apr 23, 2009 3:36 PM PDT reply actions  

Let's win please

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:39 PM PDT reply actions  

THROW FASTBALLS DOWN THE MIDDLE

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:40 PM PDT reply actions  

FELIX FELIX FELIX!

Please give me a reason to smile today.

by Teej on Apr 23, 2009 3:40 PM PDT reply actions  

THROW MORE PLZ

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

4 straight fastballs

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:41 PM PDT reply actions  

So Felix has allowed more flyballs,

but his fastball is lower velocity…making me think it was his 2 seamer, but 2 seamers are supposedly grounder incuding. IT DOESNT ADD UP. SOMEONE HELP ME.

by marinerdan on Apr 23, 2009 3:41 PM PDT reply actions  

K

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:42 PM PDT reply actions  

K!!

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:42 PM PDT reply actions  

YES

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:42 PM PDT reply actions  

KK!

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:44 PM PDT reply actions  

KK!!!

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Bill Kreuger vindicated :-P

You know what? Fuck you Sports Gods, fuck you.

by bluemax on Apr 23, 2009 3:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Rays are screwed.

We just need to scratch out a run.

by Wilder. on Apr 23, 2009 3:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Wrong Burke.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

The other Burke

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

You're thinking of Chris Burke.

Jamie Burke was our backup-backup catcher and surprise relief ace from last season.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

bada-bing

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

LL has forever ruined that term.

Every time I read it I think “dead meme”… even if it’s like in the AP game story or something.

ICHI!!!!

by sammy on Apr 23, 2009 3:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

FELIX IS BUMMING THEM!

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 3:44 PM PDT reply actions  

That was a pleasing inning.

Almost as pleasing as the other thing.

by Matthew on Apr 23, 2009 3:45 PM PDT reply actions  

WHY IS ICHIRO SO AWESOME

I LOVE YOU

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:47 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCK YES ICHIRO

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:47 PM PDT reply actions  

YESYSEYESYESICHIRIICHIRO!!!!!

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:47 PM PDT reply actions  

Seriously? Richie?

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

That's what makes it awesome

Just look at New Yankee Stadium to see how stupid a re-re-re-release of something is

by JI on Apr 23, 2009 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

You're right.

And we should change the site logo, too.

by Aaron Campeau on Apr 23, 2009 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

I sort of think we should.

Although the site logo’s more excusable given that you can’t really tell it’s Richie. It’s more symbolic.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

I kinda like it.

I get to look at Richie and think “your sorry ass is probably drinking at a dive bar in Vancouver, haha.”

by appleshampoo on Apr 23, 2009 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

Cmon Beltre time for that first HR

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:50 PM PDT reply actions  

AB looks totally lost.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Apr 23, 2009 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

You are correct sir.

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

That's the funny thing about slumping players.

And the reason I could never be a scout. I can’t count the number of times I’ve watched a player look totally overmatched in AB after AB only to finally ‘find’ it again. Remember Ibanez mid-2007?

by sammy on Apr 23, 2009 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

WE LOOK \AWFUL

I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.

by EnglishMariner on Apr 23, 2009 3:51 PM PDT reply actions  

Gameday just posted the Ichiro homer clip.

That pitch was wheelhoused. He just took a BP cut at it.

He didn't go.

by BUCKETSinSB on Apr 23, 2009 3:53 PM PDT reply actions  

Felix looks fantastic today

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:54 PM PDT reply actions  

DEFENSIVE RANGE

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:54 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh for fuck's sake!

"...But with the at-bats that Willie (Bloomquist) had tonight, I don't know that I'm immediately going to take him out of the lineup." -Trey Hillman

by Big Jared on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

I miss you Branyan

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

This whole "Burke at 1B" thing isn't off to a great start.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

This is why carrying 12 pitchers is stupid.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

OH FUCK

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

Two errors

That was…… Pathetic

by edddgar on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

FELIX :(

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCK ME GODDAMM IT.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:57 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCK ROB JOHNSON

CATCH THE BALL. CATCH. ITS PART OF CATCHER YOU FUCK

by Zack on Apr 23, 2009 3:58 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh my fucking God now Felix might be hurt, thanks a fucking lot Burke

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 3:58 PM PDT reply actions  

NEED MORE BEER

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 3:58 PM PDT reply actions  

Jaime Burke played first base as you'd imagine, panicked at threw the ball away past Felix

Rob Johnson then struggled to pick up a motionless ball near the Mariners dugout and Burrell advanced to third.

by edddgar on Apr 23, 2009 4:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh, the play in general.

Burke tried to field a routine GB that could have been a DP. Bobbled it, then rushed the throw well wide of Felix, allowing the runner on second to advance to third.

by sammy on Apr 23, 2009 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

THANK GOD

I might have turned off the TV if he would have had to come out

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Apr 23, 2009 3:59 PM PDT reply actions  

Fuck the camera man

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 4:00 PM PDT reply actions  

WOOOOO KKK!!!!!

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:00 PM PDT reply actions  

So how fucked are we?

Jose Lopez roxxorz my boxxorz.
54!

by joof on Apr 23, 2009 4:00 PM PDT reply actions  

KKK!

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 4:00 PM PDT reply actions  

Wooooo Felix and Endy!

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 4:01 PM PDT reply actions  

HOORAY DEFENSIVE RANGE

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:01 PM PDT reply actions  

Can't watch the game.

Can someone explain what the dang happened with the Burke/Johnson debacle?

"I have two normal feet and I can't see the slightest God-damned reason why anybody should stare at them."

by ImaginaryRomances on Apr 23, 2009 4:02 PM PDT reply actions  

Burke misplayed a grounder, and then...

Overthrew Felix covering, then Johnson misplayed the overthrow and fucked up throwing to 3rd.

Imagine watching the bad news bears.

by Smegmalicious on Apr 23, 2009 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

Looking at Gameday with Zobrist up,

It looks like Felix went to a two-seamer trying to get the double play ball. However he didnt get the sinker down around the knees and left it in the hit-me zone. I like this idea, dont like the execution.

He didn't go.

by BUCKETSinSB on Apr 23, 2009 4:04 PM PDT reply actions  

Wlad taking pitches?

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:04 PM PDT reply actions  

It's the Groundball Show!

Starring Wlad, Johnson and Yuni! Rally-killing double plays come free with the package.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:07 PM PDT reply actions  

Gutz tracks the ball so well.

He just needs to put the barrel on the ball.

by Wilder. on Apr 23, 2009 4:09 PM PDT reply actions  

KKKK!!!!!!

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:12 PM PDT reply actions  

KKKK!

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 4:13 PM PDT reply actions  

Good work Yuni.

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 4:15 PM PDT reply actions  

FUCK YOU YUNI WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:15 PM PDT reply actions  

Way to go Yuni.

3 errors for the team so far.

by Heydude on Apr 23, 2009 4:15 PM PDT reply actions  

Boy looks like I turned the tv on at the perfect time

Booniesky Bootanboo fucked up again

I want to poop at your house - Thingray

by tootthekazoo on Apr 23, 2009 4:15 PM PDT reply actions  

They really are retarded.

Last night there were two or three plays called hits that shouldn’t have been.

angels fan in seattle

by Eyebrows on Apr 23, 2009 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

Time for Johnson to work his magic.

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions  

KKKKK!!

"Get up you crazy black man, I'm gonna make you drink my piss!" - Will Ferrell.

by gregrabble on Apr 23, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions  

5! 5! 5!

I want to poop at your house - Thingray

by tootthekazoo on Apr 23, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions  

YES YES SIT THE FUCK DOWN KKKKK

Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?

by Benne on Apr 23, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions  

Does Yuni have an error in three games in a row?

"I have two normal feet and I can't see the slightest God-damned reason why anybody should stare at them."

by ImaginaryRomances on Apr 23, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions  

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