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Around SBN: The Animated GIFs Of January

Bonds Tests Positive

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A urine sample that Barry Bonds submitted as part of Major League Baseball's anonymous testing program in 2003 has come back positive for PEDs, according to a New York Times report... Bonds provided samples that did not test positive under that program, but the samples were re-examined by federal authorities after they were seized in a 2004 raid, The Times reported on Tuesday, citing people familiar with the matter.

 

So, it was a urine sample from 2003 --  back when the results were kept annonymous and offending players supposedly only got a slap on the wrist -- that MLB tested and turned out negative. Just a couple weeks ago the feds retested the sample and found it was positive. Now, everyone knows in 2003 Bonds was in the midst of his string of the best offensive seasons in baseball history, and everyone knows that it was only a small handful of seasons before then that MLB knew steroids were rampant in the sport and did absolutely nothing about it to rake in the money. So... is anyone else here speculating what I'm speculating?

 

Fuck it. I still want him.

 

Ichirobondszm2_medium

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No real surprise from where I'm sitting.

It’s clear he was on some form of anabolic enhancement, the only question was whether or not that substance would be considered illegal.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!! I DRINK IT UP!!

by abender20 on Feb 3, 2009 1:37 PM PST reply actions  

Can't wait to hear what kind of shit he'll drum up this time.

You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you Saxy boy?

by oc on Feb 3, 2009 1:38 PM PST reply actions  

PLEASE MAKE IT SO

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 3, 2009 1:45 PM PST up reply actions  

They are the same thing anyway.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!! I DRINK IT UP!!

by abender20 on Feb 3, 2009 1:50 PM PST up reply actions  

Only thing I'm raging about

Is the shopping of Bonds’ head on Ichiro’s body and the obvious skin tone change. Seriously, sacred cow man… SACRED… COW…

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Feb 3, 2009 1:52 PM PST reply actions  

I wonder

if this is the mysterious sample my girlfriend’s lab had…

You know what? Fuck you Sports Gods, fuck you.

by bluemax on Feb 3, 2009 2:08 PM PST reply actions  

LLLJ

Small and manageable sig

by .Taylor on Feb 3, 2009 3:02 PM PST up reply actions  

Enforce rules equally and I am happy to comply with that

I have nothing else to say regarding that

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Feb 3, 2009 3:35 PM PST up reply actions  

Perhaps not

But that decrepit old mare you brought me in on hurt my ass something fierce.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Feb 3, 2009 3:40 PM PST up reply actions  

They can be applied without huge bias and unnecessary dogpiling on Taylor though

Send a nice warning or boxing as you deem appropriate, hide the subthread, and be done with it

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Feb 3, 2009 3:39 PM PST up reply actions  

Neither of us get paid

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Feb 3, 2009 3:45 PM PST up reply actions  

In what way is this LLLJ?

It’s perfectly on-topic and promotes further discussion. Not LLLJ != every comment must either be a question or an answer to a question.

by seattlebruin on Feb 3, 2009 3:11 PM PST up reply actions  

Christ.

I don’t even know what LLLJ means. When I first saw it, I thought someone was just screwing up the former rap-star’s name.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Feb 3, 2009 3:42 PM PST up reply actions  

LL Live Journal

people saying things that don’t really have any sort of relevance or context, just for the sake of saying them.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 3, 2009 3:46 PM PST up reply actions  

In other words...

THIS IS NOT YOUR BLOG.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Feb 3, 2009 3:46 PM PST up reply actions  

Exactly.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 3, 2009 3:47 PM PST up reply actions  

I think I like "This Is Not Your Blog" better.

TinyB has a nice ring to it.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Feb 3, 2009 3:48 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Here's a tip for you:

do not try to enforce LL’s rules.

And by tip, I mean that if you ignore this I am going to ban you.

by Matthew on Feb 3, 2009 3:14 PM PST up reply actions  

Sounds peachy.

Small and manageable sig

by .Taylor on Feb 3, 2009 3:18 PM PST up reply actions   2 recs

He is improving I think

There’s occasionally going to be misunderstanding slips and I think this is something where he screwed up but there’s no reason to dogpile on him everytime he slips mildly

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Wyomingroutes.org & Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Feb 3, 2009 3:29 PM PST up reply actions  

How dense are you?

Remember this from four hours prior?

I am tired of having to tell you.

by Matthew on Feb 3, 2009 8:09 PM PST up reply actions  

I'm going to revert back to my earlier theory about you:

Well-crafted flame.

Because nobody can seriously be this obtuse. Nobody.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Feb 3, 2009 9:00 PM PST up reply actions  

This is like finding the only person in the world

that’s never eaten at McDonald’s.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 3, 2009 9:22 PM PST up reply actions  

I've heard good things about that place

What’s the food like there?

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Feb 3, 2009 9:40 PM PST up reply actions  

After checking the properties of the photo, this turns out apparently be a screencap from Shawshank Redemption.

Since I never really saw that film (caught half of it once and I wasn’t really paying attention), I don’t feel too bad. I’d feel a lot stupider if it was something I’d already been exposed to.

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Feb 3, 2009 9:49 PM PST up reply actions  

Easily the best thing I've ever seen/read

with Stephen King’s name on it. It’s fantastic.

by Double06 on Feb 3, 2009 9:57 PM PST up reply actions  

Though I've never seen the movie all the way through

I do own the soundtrack. One of my favorite film scores ever.

by BrianL on Feb 3, 2009 9:59 PM PST up reply actions  

Dude, this confrontational attitutude has got to go.

At least have the decency to shoot me an email and insult me there instead of in public. (Taylor2345@gmail.com)

You call me obtuse, but most people, when they encounter someone they don’t like, learn to live with said person. Give it a rest, man. You’re being as immature as you accuse me of being by repeatedly referring to me as a well-crafted flame. For example, I learned that G/M are sometimes mean, and that it’s funny when they make fun of me, so I usually just go with it. You should probably do the same in this situation.

I would advise the moderators to not let you continually slide on this. This post is pretty harmless, but you’ve made comments about me that really aren’t appropriate for LL.

And, actually, I am a real person.

by .Taylor on Feb 3, 2009 9:27 PM PST up reply actions  

I don't enjoy coming off as vicious any more than the next guy.

It’s just that I’m constantly flummoxed (and often outright galled) at your propensity to say EXACTLY the wrong thing at EXACTLY the wrong time…and how you keep doing it even after being corrected gently or chided outright.

I’ve had a lot of experience with people who got immense (and inexplicable) pleasure out of crafting online trollbait personas with exactly the same characteristics as you regularly display. Hence my repeated statement of suspicion…I don’t to feel like I’m being played for a fool, really.

When you tell me that I’m hurting your feelings, well I’m not insensible to that. Assuming you’re acting in good faith, that makes me feel bad. I don’t LIKE hurting anyone’s feelings. But you do it to yourself far more than I could ever do. I keep waiting for you to grow into the same sort of good citizen that Coach (and even butthol) eventually became, but it isn’t happening yet. And I just can’t understand why for the life of me…unless you’re flame, of course.

Anyway, I’ll let it go at that (because hey, now THIS really is getting into LLLJ territory).

Patriotism, Pepper, Professionalism

by esoteric on Feb 3, 2009 9:47 PM PST up reply actions  

Your points are very sound.

I apologize for convicting you personally. And I’ll make a strong effort to follow your advice.

In actuality, I get into trouble about 1/10 as much as I used to, or at least with much less frequency. But when I do say something stupid or unfounded, I just absolutely jumped, and I’d noticed that you in particular seemed to derive pleasure from this.

I would argue that, if you look back to some threads in November, I’ve matured a lot since then. But all too often, posters make it exceedingly hard for me to just walk away from an argument. Maybe it’s my lack of self-control, but [LLLJ, no more of that]. I don’t mind M/G doing it, because it’s partially their damn blog, and they can do what they want. But regular posters should at least treat me as they do everyone else on the site.

by .Taylor on Feb 4, 2009 8:15 AM PST up reply actions  

It's a two-way street though

You mention your lack of self-control; that seems to be the key to what’s getting you in trouble. Seriously, apply the 10-second rule to your posts and you’ll be fine – type it out, don’t hit “post”, and wait 10 seconds. If after 10 seconds, what you say doesn’t seem quite as funny/relevant/necessary as it was before, then don’t say it.

The golden rule of the internets: Not every comment requires a response.

(I hope you realize I’m not trying to pile on, but to offer some constructive criticism)

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 4, 2009 8:28 AM PST up reply actions  

"But regular posters should at least treat me as they do everyone else on the site."

I treat you the same way I treat everyone; you just do things that annoy me more than other people. I haven’t singled you out, you’ve done a pretty decent job of doing that yourself.

Stop doing things that annoy people and people will stop calling you out. It’s that simple.

by Aaron Campeau on Feb 4, 2009 1:19 PM PST up reply actions  

You tend to get into trouble with other posters because you don't think your comments through.

When you start incurring the wrath of multiple regulars, there just might be something wrong with what you’re doing.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but don’t feel compelled to post if you don’t have anything constructive/useful/entertaining to say. When a mod tells you to stop doing something and you respond with a flippant “Sounds peachy” or “Oooh, shit. I’ll shut the fuck up” you’re not being constructive. You’re just showing your age and acting like a petulant teenager.

In short, just be smarter about what you post.

by BrianL on Feb 3, 2009 9:55 PM PST up reply actions  

I do not make fun of you;

I try to communicate to you how to be a better poster. Do not “just go with it”. You seemingly brushing it off as a joke is why I have been forced to be more and more blunt with my responses. Listen to them. If you actually heed the advice, you will be a lot better off.

My goal is not to mock people, my goal is not have to moderate.

by Matthew on Feb 3, 2009 10:55 PM PST up reply actions  

Was kidding.

Don’t really care about that.

by Mariner John on Feb 3, 2009 8:08 PM PST up reply actions  

Bravo.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!! I DRINK IT UP!!

by abender20 on Feb 3, 2009 3:58 PM PST up reply actions  

Look cob-nobbler, it's pretty obvious you're part of the tomo-tom club here.

Why don’t you just go take a pain ride back home before I send you to a real harsh realm you big bag of blotation.

by Aaron Campeau on Feb 3, 2009 4:02 PM PST up reply actions   2 recs

Well turdpoop.

This is just bad hoodoo.

by Slica on Feb 3, 2009 3:58 PM PST reply actions  

I still heart Barry.

I also continue to harbor outlandish fantasies of him in an M’s uniform. We’re more likely to give Bucky Jacobsen a contract offer of course.
Wish in one hand………….

Whiskey: The other bio fuel!

by Big Jared on Feb 3, 2009 4:28 PM PST reply actions  

So what happened to Barry's neck in that picture?

Did the rest of his head just completely swallow it up, or what?

---
Juuuust a bit outside!!
http://www.rightfieldbleachers.com

by Jack Moore on Feb 3, 2009 4:55 PM PST reply actions  

How is urine still any good after that amount of time?

Most chemists don’t believe results on a sample a few months old if its got complex materials in a biological soup. This is sketchy to me.

Shouldn’t it be illegal to test a sample that was submitted anonymously. I feel like MLB would not hand over the sample because of medical privacy issues.

If I was Bonds and this all comes out, I’d sue the shit out of the FBI.

by Edgar for Pres on Feb 3, 2009 7:07 PM PST reply actions  

Logic and a respect for the right to privacy?

I can’t believe someone would be so bold. Be biased and look the other way!

holt shit its christmas.

by yteimlad on Feb 3, 2009 7:26 PM PST up reply actions  

I was just guessing at what happened

I no longer care enough to read stories about Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Brian MacNamee or steroids, unless it involves one of them coming to Seattle and playing for the M’s

by seattlebruin on Feb 4, 2009 9:35 AM PST up reply actions  

I'm just picturing

a giant syringe in a uniform running the bases, a la the sausages in Milwaukee. That would be awesome.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 4, 2009 9:47 AM PST up reply actions  

I love Randall Simon. I remember playing BBC on ESPN and everyone took him at DH because he was cheap

But then there was some glitch in the game and everyone had him on their team for a few days. Pretty funny. Anyone else play BBC?

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Feb 4, 2009 7:15 PM PST up reply actions  

I'll still be doing that.

Because he hasn’t yet tested positive for anything that was forbidden at the time he gave the sample.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Feb 4, 2009 10:31 AM PST up reply actions  

I don't see how this is at all relevant.

So a sample from 6 years ago tested positive for THG, a substance that wasn’t illegal and wasn’t classified as a steroid at the time.

Can I go back in time and test Ted Williams for amphetamines? That’s exactly what this is – people are applying today’s drug standards to events in the past that weren’t governed by those standards.

Bonds still hasn’t broken any rules.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Feb 4, 2009 10:29 AM PST reply actions   1 recs

Wait, what?

You’re telling me that Ted Williams was on amphetamines? OH MY GOD THAT’S AMAZING NEWS I HAVE TO GO TELL EVERYONE ON THE INTERNETS!

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Feb 4, 2009 10:32 AM PST up reply actions  

Another person with the logical skepticism gene!

Next thing I know, someone will point out that we don’t actually know how much an effect these drugs can have on an athlete’s ability to play the sport and that with the available evidence it seems to be a much smaller effect than the current perception.

Or it could be pointed out that all of this nonsense is able to be made public because of leaked grand jury testimony, which should be the thing that actually incites anger.

Or we could get angry about all of the money wasted on this both in the past and in the future.

Well all of that would be ridiculous, so lets just bathe in the waters of confirmation bias. If we hated him before, then all of this must be true and he must be punished, no matter the cost to privacy, civil liberty, or economy. Skibbiddydoo!

holt shit its christmas.

by yteimlad on Feb 5, 2009 4:05 AM PST up reply actions  

I don't care whether these drugs have any impact on an athlete's ability to play the sport.

What matters is whether the rules were broken. Rules are all fundamentally arbitrary anyway, so whether you broke them becomes a strict binary. Either you did or you didn’t. There’s no such thing as bending the rules. There’s no such thing as violating the spirit of the rules. Either you broke the rules or you didn’t.

And Bonds didn’t.

Neither did Ted Williams.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Feb 5, 2009 9:24 AM PST up reply actions  

Well that's what makes people so angry.

They don’t care about the literal rules, because if they did, there would have been no problem once the rules were changed. The need for changing the rules would have been all there would be to get angry about, and since that can be clearly remedied, its not very fulfilling.

But its difficult to ignore the fact that rules and laws are dynamic- they theoretically mimic or are heavily influenced by the cultural mores of society, and are viewed at as an ideal to strive for with full knowledge that mistakes will be made and changes will be necessary. An individual rule or law is generally looked at as an example to be added to later, and it is understood that despite the immenseness and minutiae of law there are relatively few larger, simple morals the law is espousing.

Then there is the problem posed by the fact that baseball and the players themselves are also products of our culture. So a group of people within that culture who attempt to exploit the literal meaning of the rules in order to break the overarching intent are viewed as a mirror. Most people do not like thinking that their culture is selfish, exploitive, and run on greed- even if there is truth in it. So they take out their self hatred and guilt on the biggest and easiest targets. If that target happens to be someone they were told not to like, its even easier to do. Throw in the competitive nature of sports and all of the irrational emotions that get tied up into that, and you have a frenzy.

I don’t think I have ever seen anyone ask why an athlete of Bonds’ ability would do these things. (Other than flippantly stating that he was already a Hall of Fame caliber player, as if advantages of this sort did not exist before 1998.) It is simply looked at as obvious that if he thought he could get away with it, then the things would be done. Maybe that is why it is not usually discussed, because that’s a much more complex issue and possibly the real problem. There are no laws or rules that can fix that. The people themselves have to fix it, one at a time, within themselves and around themselves.

Fuck that, it sounds hard.

holy shit its christmas.

by yteimlad on Feb 7, 2009 4:50 AM PST up reply actions  

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