Welcome, Veteran Catcher

For some reason I find this Tweet to be more trustworthy because it's in Spanish.

Eliézer Alfonzo firmó con los Marineros un contrato de ligas menores con invitación al campo de entrenamientos.

...meaning, the Mariners have signed Eliezer Alfonzo to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training. Alfonzo turns 31 in February. Problem solved!

I'm not going to pretend to have any kind of real insight here. Alfonzo's just a guy who could have a chance for a little while should the M's deem Adam Moore in need of some more AAA seasoning. But if you're really curious what Alfonzo's all about, among 432 hitters to take at least 100 trips to the plate last season, Alfonzo had the highest rate of swings at balls out of the zone, at 53.4%. In second was Vladimir Guerrero, at 44.1%. Alfonzo's O-Swing% was 21% worse than the second-worst O-Swing% in baseball. So that's neat. He'll be a good guy to send up to the plate if Felix is in a groove and we want to get him back out to the mound in a hurry.

Alfonzo, predictably, never walks, not even in the minors, but he does have a fair bit of power, which keeps him from being completely worthless. I'm guessing he also has an average arm, calls a good game, and develops positive relationships with Latin starting pitchers. So, there you go. Say hello to the imitation Froot Loops version of Miguel Olivo.