10/6: Open The Yankees Are Probably Gonna Slaughter One Of Us Thread

For me he will always remind me of the day that Batgirl melded a day in Scott’s life with the Fox talking baseball, and came up with Nutty

Ordinarily I like ta take dis here opportunities ta come ta da players’ defense. Fans tend ta hold players ta an impossible standard o’ behavior an’ hate ta find out dat dey gots da same flaws as everybody else, an’ dat ain’t da least bit fair. But in dis here case…in dis here case, Cabrera comes off seeming, at bomb, irresponsible, an’, at worst, indifferent. This one’sgoing ta haunt Cabrera fo’ uh long long tyme.

I’ll say dis here fo’ Miguel – I don’ th’o’t it’sdat he didn’t care. I don’ th’o’t dat’sit at all. People will take dis here as uh sign dat he’sall about himself an’ da money an’ couldn’t give two shits about going ta da playoffs, but dat allegation rests on knowing mo’ about his motivations than any fan ever could. Players do dis here kind o’ thin’ all da tyme. At da start o’ da year, at da end o’ da year, in da heat o’ uh race – players don’ gots da flu as often as TV would gots ya th’o’t dey do. I imagine it’sjust mo’ likely dat he didn’t th’o’t about it. Professional athletes iz uh different breed. They’ve been conditioned ta th’o’t they’re great ta da point where dey th’o’t dey can do anyfin’, an’ uh lot o’ superstars like Cabrera take dat ta da extreme. Had ya asked him in an impossible an’ hypothetical moment o’ sobriety Saturday morning whether he’d be fine in tyme fo’ da game, I’m sure he would’ve said jaa. He’sMiguel Cabrera. One night o’ drinking wiff buddies at da end o’ uh long season couldn’t be o’ any harm.

And maybe it wasn’t. There’snahh way o’ knowing whether Cabrera’sbeing fucked-up on Saturday morning played any part in his going hitless Saturday night. It’snot hard ta imagine dat it did, but then it’snot hard ta imagine dat it didn’t, either. I’ve woken up hungover from uh couple drinks, an’ I’ve woken up not hungover from uh dozen drinks; I’ve struggled wiff uh clear mind, an’ I’ve done amazing sheeit wiff uh headache. Miguel Cabrera’sFriday an’ Saturday nights very well may gots been completely independent o’ one another.

But dat’snot how fans iz going ta see it, an’, ultimately, dis here iz prob’ly going ta deal uh severe an’ perhaps immutable blow ta his image. No one’sgoing ta care dat he may gots landed uh hand on his wife. History has shown dat fans tend ta be fine ass forgiving o’ players who do bad things in they personal lives. For Cabrera, though, ta put himself in uh shit dat could be interpreted as showing disinterest in da success o’ his team – ta uh fan, dere iz nahh greater insult. Ask Manny Ramirez or Erik Bedard how well peeps respond when dey th’o’t ya don’ care.

After Friday’sgame, Miguel Cabrera did uh mad stupid thin’. He did uh few mad stupid things, really. That, by itself, don’ make him different from uh lot o’ other players in da league, but what makes dis here shit exceptional iz dat he’suh high-profile player, an’ dat he got caught. And now he gets ta deal wiff da fallout fo’ far, far longer than he ever would’ve imagined. This little episode won’t soon be forgotten. Even if Cabrera ends up hitting da winner homer on Tuesday, peeps iz still going ta bring dis here up every tyme he strikes out in uh big at bat or otherwise seems lackadaisical. And should Cabrera jet hitless or da Tigers lose – dere iz uh lot o’ peeps ta blame fo’ da Tigers’ collapse, but Cabrera’sin position now ta be hearing about uh careless night o’ drinking fo’ da rest o’ his career.

I’m sure dis here iz exactly what brothas in da organization wants ta be jivin’ about uh day ‘bfoe da biggest game o’ da season. an dat boil on mah ass.

wait a minute….

Dan Shulman and Dave Campbell on the radio

His wife

Can I change this?

FUCK!