Look Ryan, I get it. Letting opposing hitters pound the crap out of your pitches is kind of your thing. You do it better than almost anyone I've ever seen, and the consistency with which you go out there and allow hard hit after hard hit really speaks volumes about your mental toughness. You've carved out a role, and it suits you. You're the guy we send to the mound when we want to get lit up.

But here's the deal. Lately you've been doing this thing where you sort of miss a lot of bats. I know, I know, your ERA would strongly suggest otherwise, but stay with me. The Angels swung and missed against you ten times tonight out of 84 pitches. On the season your swinging strike rate is up to 8.5%. 8.5%! That's above the league average, tied with Andy Pettitte, and only a hair behind King freaking Felix of all people. You. You, Ryan Feierabend, have missed bats nearly as often as the designated savior of the franchise.

Do you understand why these two things are difficult for me to reconcile? You can't be fooling guys one second and letting them beat the snot out of you the next. That doesn't make sense. You either throw really hittable pitches or you don't, which means that, as far as I'm concerned, something's got to give. Right? This can't be sustainable. That doesn't pass the smell test.

Here's what's going to happen, Ryan: either you're going to start missing fewer bats, thereby earning your suck, or you're going to start allowing weaker contact, thereby making yourself look much much better. I'm telling you this not because you really have a choice, but because I think it's important to make sure you're prepared. Whichever way it goes. Whatever you do, try not to be taken by surprise. Act like it's happened before, even if - in the event that you become good - it hasn't. Trust me, it'll reflect better on you if you do.

Godspeed, Ryan. No matter which path you end up following, I wish you the best of luck. You may not be one of the best Mariner pitchers I've ever seen, and there's a chance you may actually be one of the worst, but in a season this bad, you've managed to capture my interest, and for that I am eternally thankful. Ride that slop as far as it can go.