Series Preview: Seattle Mariners @ Oakland Athletics

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 1:29 PM PDT in Series Previews Comment 73 comments

Seattle: 57-95
Athletics: 71-81

GAMES

Game 1: Felix Hernandez vs Dana Eveland*
Game 2: Carlos Silva vs ?
Game 3: Brandon Morrow vs Sean Gallagher

I don't want to talk anymore about Felix regressing this season. Dana Eveland is decent but not altogether all that good since he throws too many balls and misses too few bats.

Justin Duchscherer was scheduled to make this start before he got scratched for the remainder of the season. The Athletics don't even know who's going to take this turn yet but it's even money that he'll be a more skilled pitcher than Carlos Silva. I'm not sure I've loathed a Mariner more. Even Vidro was funny in a way when he was succeeding somehow and the Ms were winning. On a side note, I spelled Duchscherer right without looking.

Sean Gallagher's been markedly worse since switching leagues, seeing his percentage of strikes thrown dip a whopping seven percent. At the same time he's posting a hilarious 27.4% groundball rate. If Brandon Morrow retains some semblance of control, he could pass through the A's "hitters" like an intelligent thought on the PI boards. If he's lousy with command, the A's might wait him out into many walks and pretty much anyone can hit a fastball if they're sitting on it.

Likely Starters:
C Kurt Suzuki
1 Daric Barton*
2 Eric Patterson*
3 Jack Hannahan*
S Bobby Crosby
L Aaron Cunningham
C Rajai Davis
R Travis Buck*/Ryan Sweeney*
D Jack Cust*

Lots of lefties. And a whole lot of terrible.

The A's are nearing the century mark for runs under average as a hitting unit. It makes the Ms, at around 70 below, look almost competent like, but judging from our lineups the past few days, I wouldn't excuse you if you decided to go watch curling or something.

CONTEXT

If we're going to continue the streak of losses, Oakland, against whom we play six of our final ten games, represents a tough test as they have plunged in the second half of this season. These lineups suck. I mean, suck. Really really suck. So much so that I cannot even come up with a funny analogy. They suck that bad.

Be aware of that before you heap praise on Felix or Morrow for "turning it around." Be aware of that when Silva gets rocked. Both sides' hitters are terrible.

THIS SERIES BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

La Terrible
Unibroue Brewing Company. Chambly, QC

I swear I bought a bottle of this at one point, but it's gone from my stores and I have no record of ever trying it. But it's appropriate.

0 recs | Comment 73 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

These lineups suck more than a burrito that you order without sour cream that is given to you with sour cream

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 1:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

that really sucks, though

and I’d be angrier about the burrito.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

And it's the fourth burrito that you've had that week and you don't really want to eat another one but it's the principle of the thing

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

you live my culinary life sir

Today’s choice was Chipotle or the burrito cart. I went with Chipotle, and was not impressed. Stick to the locals.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks to eating Chipotle you also now have 3-5 fewer years to stick to the locals

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I know it

but I had a free burrito coupon. It’s not a mistake I’ll make again.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Given that you lost a few years of your life I would argue that the burrito wasn't free at all

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Where were you at 10am when you could have stopped this before it started?

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You had a burrito at 10am?

Wow, that would kill my entire day.

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Nope, that's just when I was handed the coupon.

Didn’t eat till noon.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It does seem difficult, yes, but greatness doesn't come easily

I might have to try the no-breakfast, 10am burrito and see how that impacts work productivity.

You never know….

by marc w on Sep 19, 2008 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I had a burrito at lunch too

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm all bark

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

after the burrito? that's kinda gross.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

They make them different down here

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Did you get a burrito from San Diego's Chinatown again?

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Chipotle is a different style

but still good. A wise man once told me that its best to split your burrito into two meals and eat them on separate days.

If it wasn't for college football I'd probably have given up on sports.

by bluemax on Sep 19, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I hate that

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 19, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't understand why you'd be mad at getting sour cream.

Sour cream is delicious. Then again, I cannot fathom having four burritos in a week. I think that would equal my entire (non-beer) caloric consumption over a week long period.

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sour cream is horrible for you and completely unnecessary in a proper burrito

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It's completely unneccessary period.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Are your burritos rice filled?

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It's a burrito?

by marc w on Sep 19, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I have had them both ways.

I have no idea what is a proper burrito.

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Proper burrito:

A little bit of rice, a small spoonful of beans, some sort of meat, cheese, hot sauce. No sour cream, no guac, no shredded lettuce, nothin’. And not too much rice or beans. You don’t want it to be doorstop-sized.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Where can you get those? I like those burritos. More like the ones I used to get back in Texas.

All I’ve found since moving to Seattle is the giant SanFran burritos which are disgusting in their enormity.

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't know about Seattle

but Fuego carts in Portland are great – you can get the huge ones if you want, but for $2 less you get one that’s sized for a normal person.

La Vaca in the Market used to make a smallish one, but the last time I was there and got one it had been bloatsized so I’m not sure about them any more….

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 3:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

A burrito with enough rice/beans/meat/whatever in the middle that you don't need a few heapings of pure white love handle

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That about sums it up

tortilla+rice+beans+meat+hot sauce. That’s it. Anything else, and you might as well go to Azteca.

by marc w on Sep 19, 2008 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I need BrianL's input before I believe you people.

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

I thought BrianL was a Chinaman

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 19, 2008 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

The Chinaman is NOT the ISSUE here

It’s about drawing a line in the sand! A burrito does NOT need sour cream.

by marc w on Sep 19, 2008 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Who's arguing otherwise?

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Okay

I have to play devil’s advocate here. I LOVE sour cream. My mom grew up eating Mexican food in the ’burbs of LA and I grew up in Boise where there existing many authentic Mexican places (i.e. NOT tex-mex, azteca etc.) due to the farming community in southern Idaho. So I feel like I have some amount of knowledge of good Mexican food.

I assert that one can have a Burrito of reasonable size which includes sour cream and guacamole. Is it required for a good burrito? Of course not, it’s up to personal preference. But they do add something. I will not deny that sour cream is bad for you, but man is it tasty.

by appleshampoo on Sep 19, 2008 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I will fight no more forever

All members of the burrito tribe are beautiful creatures. I love the cream-less burrito, but I respect and value its cousins that come laden with guacamole. I even understand where the ones with shredded lettuce are coming from, and think their perspectives can be illuminating.

I know which I prefer, of course, but I want to extend the napkin of understanding to you, Matthew, and all others who care about the noble burrito.

by marc w on Sep 19, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I accept your napkin of understanding.

by appleshampoo on Sep 19, 2008 5:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

A proper burrito is, in fact, meat and beans and salsa.

Do you want to go that proper?

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 19, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Woo burrito thread!

I’m so excited. Next Friday I’ll be back in SD for the first time in over a year. My favorite is the California burrito at El Cotixan. Warm, soft flour tortilla, lots of carne asada, fried potatoes, salsa fresca, and cheese. Grab that in one hand, and the bottle weirdly orange hot sauce in the other.

I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

In closing, rice-filled burritos are terrible and I miss San Diego mexican food.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Sep 19, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is exactly right.

by marc w on Sep 19, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sour cream is pure deliciousness but crema is even better.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 19, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is how I feel.

I don’t dislike sour cream. It’s just that I can never, ever justify it. It adds approximately nothing.

by Teej on Sep 19, 2008 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The burrito I had this morning was fat, plain and boring

by Robert on Sep 19, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You went back to your ex?

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Snap

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 19, 2008 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes Brett

by Robert on Sep 19, 2008 5:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

lol @ intellegent thought through the PI msg boards

well played, sir

by Boydo on Sep 19, 2008 2:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

For future reference

we would like people to avoid using “lol” and other chat/text speak around here. Thanks.

by Jeff on Sep 19, 2008 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This means we will ban you next time you do it

by Graham on Sep 19, 2008 11:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

More lefties in the lineup means Felix will throw more changeups, right?

…right?

by Fogel on Sep 19, 2008 2:43 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

[slow fastballs]

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

If this becomes a meme, I want nothing to do with it.

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray

by Faux on Sep 19, 2008 11:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

[curved fastballs]

by JI on Sep 20, 2008 12:01 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

A bunch of lefties mean felix is going to get raped into next Thursday

he hasn’t been able to get them out since he was 19.

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 19, 2008 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"been able to"?

or “used the effective skills he has which should lead to”?

by Schaefer on Sep 19, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

potato, potahto

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Gahh!! Ratebeer.com is listed as an attack site!

And Google Chrome says this page contains elements of ratebeer.com and that I must verify that I have been warned before continuing onto the page. Google Chrome is such a whiny little bitch. Did anybody get something similar when clicking to the comments on FF3 or IE?

by Double06 on Sep 19, 2008 3:12 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I've never had a problem with FF3

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 19, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think acblue blurted out "oh no ratebeer is an attack site" a couple days ago.

Not sure what browser he uses.

"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.

by dpseadv on Sep 19, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah but I've never had at attack site warning for LL until now.

I care much less for ratebeer.

by Double06 on Sep 19, 2008 3:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Don't use Chrome.

Or figure out why Ratebeer is being listed as an attack site because that’s pissing me off.

by Matthew on Sep 19, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

But it's so smooth and pretty.

When 1.0 is out and I don’t have to use the beta, I’m never going back to FF. FF is definitely a more finished product, obviously, but the complaints I have of Chrome will certainly be gone soon.

by Double06 on Sep 19, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Someone hacked the site; it's fine now.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 20, 2008 12:01 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is correct and awesome.

by Teej on Sep 20, 2008 2:07 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Because Ratebeer wasn't around to tell me which glass to use, I spent the past week drinking beer out of a paper funnel.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 20, 2008 2:32 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

BEER, BEER,

MY NAME IS MARINERS FAN. ME LIKE BEER. I DON’T CARE IF I DIE IN A CAR CRASH DUE TO CONSUMING ALCOHOL. SINCE I’M A MARINERS FAN ME GET TO DRINK BEER.

by Fogel on Sep 20, 2008 8:08 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm pretty sure he was having a slight heart attack about the fact that he couldn't access it,is all.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 19, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I had the same problem yesterday.

FF3 did not want me to go to RateBeer.com

by Teej on Sep 19, 2008 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Message from Google:

What happened when Google visited this site?

Of the 813 pages we tested on the site over the past 90 days, 14 page(s) resulted in malicious software being downloaded and installed without user consent. The last time Google visited this site was on 09/18/2008, and the last time suspicious content was found on this site was on 09/15/2008.

Malicious software includes 49 scripting exploit(s), 2 trojan(s). Successful infection resulted in an average of 14 new processes on the target machine.

by Teej on Sep 19, 2008 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Usually this is iframes and javascripts in the ads.

If you use adblock it usually gets those. That, and although I’m sure the webmaster’s already been told, I recommend emailing and telling him it’s still up. Most webmasters don’t like their site being listed as harmful.

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray

by Faux on Sep 19, 2008 5:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs