Oh fuck me in the ear with a rusty spork

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:31 PM PDT in Awful News Comment 104 comments

From Hickey via USSM: Erik Bedard has a torn labrum.

We knew what it was after the MRI — it’s a tear in the labrum and a cyst,” Bedard said. “Surgery was always an option, but you want it to be the last option. You’re never 100 percent sure what will happen in surgery.

I'd have some commentary but I honestly feel too queasy to point out anything except:

Anyway this labrum’s great – it belongs to Erik Bedard

-Scrappy, 3 days ago.

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING DOG.

----------

Jeff's note: I'm not at home, but I just heard the news. Figures. For the Mariners, this has for all intents and purposes pretty much been sealed as the worst trade in team history. For us, it probably means no more Erik Bedard ever again, and shattered hopes for a competitive team in 2009. For everyone who thought it appropriate to call Bedard a pussy (or insinuate as such), I cordially invite you all to go fuck yourselves. In Riggleman's own words, Bedard gave this team everything he could - and probably more - and in the end it's not the pitcher you should hate, but the ex-general manager who thought the pitcher worth crippling the farm. You can't help getting hurt. You can help taking an obvious bad gamble. God dammit, Bavasi. God dammit. This organization has now been set back even further than I feared, and it's all thanks to you. Tomorrow morning I hope someone farts in your coffee.

It's fun when a worst-case scenario comes to fruition. Really keeps you grounded.

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agagagagagagagagagagaggagaga

by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 10:37 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Like it was ever going to be something else.

My money was on rotator cuff, but that’s just because I’m not pessimistic enough.

My bad.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:42 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I did anticipate a major shoulder injury

But like most bad things in life, it’s not real until I know it’s real.

And now good grief I’m upset.

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I was upset, but the bourbon makes it more 'darkly comic'

Someone – or someTHING – fucking detests the Seattle Mariners.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

THERE IS NO FLEUR!!!

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:44 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

?

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Now may not be the time

But damn the french really took some liberty with their artist representation of this

by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

...

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dammit.

That was funny, too.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You guys need a new category for this

“The second most awful news possible”

by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

After what?

by Mariner John on Sep 17, 2008 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

DO NOT answer this. Not now.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The LHC has created a black hole and we're all going to die.

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

At this point, I'm not sure that would be so bad.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

At least I wouldn't notice

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Maybe the black hole would have a completely different effect than is now thought, and we'd be transported to an alternate universe.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would like to shapeshift into a black hole

by Jeff on Sep 17, 2008 11:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would like to shapeshift into a new labrum.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Please give me a hug right before you do

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Anything for Graham

by Jeff on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's how this whole thing started.

Stupid kid, trying to shift into a lion. Missed the mark by that much, and suddenly Bedard’s under the knife, the kid is a sentient tendon, and it’s all a fucking mess.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'll just keep that crowbar I was going to mail to some random LHC scientist then.

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

No no no no no

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sorry, I thought he meant in terms of degree of injury.

The alternative is obvious and horrible.

by Mariner John on Sep 17, 2008 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You know, there was all that noise about the large hadron collider creating a black hole

and everyone was worried and calculating the odds and so on.

Where were these people when Bavasi was hired?

by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

You do know they haven't started colliding particles yet, don't you?

by Gomez on Sep 17, 2008 11:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

?

I was talking about the black hole that was our FO.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You do know that everyone worried about the LHC destroying the world is a fucking moron, right?

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 11:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Blow me

by Gomez on Sep 17, 2008 11:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Science degrees: Useful for not being wrong all the fucking time.

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 11:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I was throwing you a bone

by Gomez on Sep 17, 2008 11:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It sure has provided Coast to Coast AM with plenty of material lately.

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 11:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dave pointed this out at USSM

but there are a lot of people who owe Bedard a huge fucking apology right now.

I’m so glad I braced for this news.

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

So... can we cancel the deal with Angelos now?

Cause Jones has this terrible hip condition, and its only getting worse.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 10:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Chris Tillman hates old people.

Also, he smokes POUNDS of weed.

Kam Mickolio may or may not have been in a Utah branch of the KKK.

Just sayin’.

George Sherrill? Just… LOOK at him.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Remember when we consoled ourselves by saying

Erik Bedard would at least net us type-A compensation when he left?

blarghfuckshithellihatethisgoddamnteamsometimes

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:55 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Also I feel terrible for Erik

by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:56 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, it pretty much blows all the fuck around.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Throws his career into jeopardy

and has endured verbal abuse all season for something that was outside of his control.

Jesus Erik, I’m sorry.

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Don't you apologize

The apologies should be coming from all those loudmouthed motherfuckers who tend to accumulate elsewhere.

by Jeff on Sep 17, 2008 11:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Like they're going to issue an apology.

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 11:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO MAKING LIGHT OF HIS SITUATION

by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Classic, just before he hits free agency

for as much grief as people give athletes for trying hard ONLY to get a big paycheck, you’d think there’d be at least a courtesy nod to those who get hurt before they really cash in.

Bedard’s 2007 was amongst the best seasons of the decade, and thanks to the weird world of the CBA, he’ll never be compensated for it.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

So he's not faking?

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:03 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Pussy ass French shouldered fagg

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

PROVE to me that he didn't hurt his own shoulder after people called him a pansy.

He’s just shirking his responsibility.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

prissy gaylord

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Swishy McIheartdick

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:08 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Dick Gozinme

J.K.L.

by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Fagg Nonviolentresolutionson

(his shit’s all retarded)

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Go read some Fagatha Christie

by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, I BET you read, you pansy. Go read a BOOK about taking it in the ass, pal!

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:38 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

I think I hated this trade more than some

and this is past the worst case scenario I had in my head

As Dave said 80 innings and a non-tender for the entire fucking farm.

I suppose we can be glad we didn’t extend him.

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I was trying to think of something to take the edge off of the FUCK NO and I think that's it

I wasn’t sure they’d do it, but they certainly had a chance to extend him early on. Not sure Bedard or the M’s would’ve wanted to go that route so early, but it could’ve happened.
Here’s hoping he goes Chris Carpenter on the league (not the Northern League) in a few years.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I kinda wish they had extended him

the man deserves his pay and they deserve to lose their money. This way, by ‘10 they’ll forget, while if he was on an 8 year contract, kicking around the clubhouse, maybe they’d remember their incompetence.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I hope he gets a decent contract some day, but I'm glad the M's don't have a long term

obligation here. We have enough of those.

Hey, the exchange rate’s better now, so he can probably afford a decent house up there anyway. But I don’t want to pay 8 years for the poor decision of a long-since-fired GM.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 11:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Later still, as the Mariners tossed a warm up ball back toward the dugout, Erik barehanded it on a hop with his left hand and tossed it into the dugout. This did not please us and Red promptly warned Erik not to use his left hand for such matters. Bedard then playfully acted like he had a dead left arm and then went back to joking with Jeff Clement, who I would like to think acknowledged our calls of love with his 9th inning single.

by Robert on Sep 18, 2008 12:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs