Oh fuck me in the ear with a rusty spork
by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:31 PM PDT
in Awful News
104 comments
From Hickey via USSM: Erik Bedard has a torn labrum.
We knew what it was after the MRI — it’s a tear in the labrum and a cyst,” Bedard said. “Surgery was always an option, but you want it to be the last option. You’re never 100 percent sure what will happen in surgery.
I'd have some commentary but I honestly feel too queasy to point out anything except:
Anyway this labrum’s great – it belongs to Erik Bedard
-Scrappy, 3 days ago.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING DOG.
----------
Jeff's note: I'm not at home, but I just heard the news. Figures. For the Mariners, this has for all intents and purposes pretty much been sealed as the worst trade in team history. For us, it probably means no more Erik Bedard ever again, and shattered hopes for a competitive team in 2009. For everyone who thought it appropriate to call Bedard a pussy (or insinuate as such), I cordially invite you all to go fuck yourselves. In Riggleman's own words, Bedard gave this team everything he could - and probably more - and in the end it's not the pitcher you should hate, but the ex-general manager who thought the pitcher worth crippling the farm. You can't help getting hurt. You can help taking an obvious bad gamble. God dammit, Bavasi. God dammit. This organization has now been set back even further than I feared, and it's all thanks to you. Tomorrow morning I hope someone farts in your coffee.
It's fun when a worst-case scenario comes to fruition. Really keeps you grounded.
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Like it was ever going to be something else.
My money was on rotator cuff, but that’s just because I’m not pessimistic enough.
My bad.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:42 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I did anticipate a major shoulder injury
But like most bad things in life, it’s not real until I know it’s real.
And now good grief I’m upset.
by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 10:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I was upset, but the bourbon makes it more 'darkly comic'
Someone – or someTHING – fucking detests the Seattle Mariners.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Now may not be the time
But damn the french really took some liberty with their artist representation of this
by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You guys need a new category for this
“The second most awful news possible”
by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
DO NOT answer this. Not now.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The LHC has created a black hole and we're all going to die.
by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
At this point, I'm not sure that would be so bad.
J.K.L.
by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe the black hole would have a completely different effect than is now thought, and we'd be transported to an alternate universe.
J.K.L.
by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would like to shapeshift into a black hole
by Jeff on Sep 17, 2008 11:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would like to shapeshift into a new labrum.
J.K.L.
by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Please give me a hug right before you do
by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's how this whole thing started.
Stupid kid, trying to shift into a lion. Missed the mark by that much, and suddenly Bedard’s under the knife, the kid is a sentient tendon, and it’s all a fucking mess.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sorry, I thought he meant in terms of degree of injury.
The alternative is obvious and horrible.
by Mariner John on Sep 17, 2008 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You know, there was all that noise about the large hadron collider creating a black hole
and everyone was worried and calculating the odds and so on.
Where were these people when Bavasi was hired?
by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
You do know they haven't started colliding particles yet, don't you?
by Gomez on Sep 17, 2008 11:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
?
I was talking about the black hole that was our FO.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dave pointed this out at USSM
but there are a lot of people who owe Bedard a huge fucking apology right now.
I’m so glad I braced for this news.
by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
So... can we cancel the deal with Angelos now?
Cause Jones has this terrible hip condition, and its only getting worse.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 10:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Chris Tillman hates old people.
Also, he smokes POUNDS of weed.
Kam Mickolio may or may not have been in a Utah branch of the KKK.
Just sayin’.
George Sherrill? Just… LOOK at him.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Remember when we consoled ourselves by saying
Erik Bedard would at least net us type-A compensation when he left?
blarghfuckshithellihatethisgoddamnteamsometimes
by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:55 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, it pretty much blows all the fuck around.
J.K.L.
by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 10:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Throws his career into jeopardy
and has endured verbal abuse all season for something that was outside of his control.
Jesus Erik, I’m sorry.
by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't you apologize
The apologies should be coming from all those loudmouthed motherfuckers who tend to accumulate elsewhere.
by Jeff on Sep 17, 2008 11:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Classic, just before he hits free agency
for as much grief as people give athletes for trying hard ONLY to get a big paycheck, you’d think there’d be at least a courtesy nod to those who get hurt before they really cash in.
Bedard’s 2007 was amongst the best seasons of the decade, and thanks to the weird world of the CBA, he’ll never be compensated for it.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So he's not faking?
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:03 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Pussy ass French shouldered fagg
J.K.L.
by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
PROVE to me that he didn't hurt his own shoulder after people called him a pansy.
He’s just shirking his responsibility.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Fagg Nonviolentresolutionson
(his shit’s all retarded)
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think I hated this trade more than some
and this is past the worst case scenario I had in my head
As Dave said 80 innings and a non-tender for the entire fucking farm.
I suppose we can be glad we didn’t extend him.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I was trying to think of something to take the edge off of the FUCK NO and I think that's it
I wasn’t sure they’d do it, but they certainly had a chance to extend him early on. Not sure Bedard or the M’s would’ve wanted to go that route so early, but it could’ve happened.
Here’s hoping he goes Chris Carpenter on the league (not the Northern League) in a few years.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I kinda wish they had extended him
the man deserves his pay and they deserve to lose their money. This way, by ‘10 they’ll forget, while if he was on an 8 year contract, kicking around the clubhouse, maybe they’d remember their incompetence.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I hope he gets a decent contract some day, but I'm glad the M's don't have a long term
obligation here. We have enough of those.
Hey, the exchange rate’s better now, so he can probably afford a decent house up there anyway. But I don’t want to pay 8 years for the poor decision of a long-since-fired GM.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He probably will never be the same.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Signs a huge contract and doesn't pitch for two years?
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
My god every Cardinal pitching contract is a fucking abortion factory.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I saw the title before reading your entry, but I immediately knew
So it goes.
by Gomez on Sep 17, 2008 11:18 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Who would like to compile a list of people who need to kiss Erik Bedard's ass?
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:18 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
You get bonus points for using "devour"
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Damn. I wanted to bust out "mASSticate."
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 11:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Silva likes to masticate in public
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Silva is responsible for this shit burkake
by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
what does our backup cather have to do with this?
by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
catcher.
catheter. fuck me.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Sep 17, 2008 11:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The list would be a fucking mile long.
I mean, just look at the local people
Geoff Baker
Steve Kelley
John Hickey
Dave Grozby
Mike Gastineau
Dave Mahler
Ian Furness…okay the entire staff at KJR
by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 11:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This would be a good time to sign him to a 3-year extension
by ThundaPC on Sep 17, 2008 11:25 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I wouldn't be the worst contract in history.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes you would
Short people can’t pitch
by Graham on Sep 17, 2008 11:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Short people got no reason to live.
At least that’s what Randy Newman told me.
by BrianL on Sep 17, 2008 11:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I still find it funny that short people can't donate sperm
It must suck to not be wanted.
by Edgar for Pres on Sep 18, 2008 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Seriously, what the fuck
We get it God, there’s no fucking floor, WE KNOW. STOP TRYING TO PROVE IT TO US FOR FUCKS SAKE WE GET THE POINT
by OlSalty on Sep 17, 2008 11:37 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I tried to tell people
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 11:38 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Is it too late to blame you?
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
:(
Later still, as the Mariners tossed a warm up ball back toward the dugout, Erik barehanded it on a hop with his left hand and tossed it into the dugout. This did not please us and Red promptly warned Erik not to use his left hand for such matters. Bedard then playfully acted like he had a dead left arm and then went back to joking with Jeff Clement, who I would like to think acknowledged our calls of love with his 9th inning single.
by Robert on Sep 18, 2008 12:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
LL is great because it promotes dog murder and no one questions it.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
An intelligent dog should be the most sacred of all.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Bullshit, people only like dogs because they're stupid and loyal.
J.K.L.
by acblue on Sep 17, 2008 11:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I never liked dogs to begin with.
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would gladly put a big red bow on this dog and send it to Michael Vick
by OlSalty on Sep 17, 2008 11:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's the spirit!
It was thereupon decided that the world began in 1984.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 11:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dont mean to be mean here
but could this be karma for you guys getting so excited over Lackey and Escobars injuries?
Exceeding expectations is less a matter of luck than possession of certain assets.
by anaheim angels on Sep 20, 2008 3:33 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
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