9/17: Open Game Thread
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:04 PM PDT
in Game Threads
168 comments
Seattle Mariners at Kansas City Royals, Sep 17, 2008 5:10 PM PDT
If you were a shapeshifter, do you think you could shapeshift into anything, or would your options be limited to things of similar size? If you shapeshifted into a rock, would you be a conscious rock? If not, how could you shapeshift back? Are all rocks conscious? Could you shapeshift into a Mariners world championship? Why don't they teach us these things in school?
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Conservation of matter
I used to wonder the same thing – I also wondered if you could translate some small portion of your mass into energy. That way, you could basically throw nuclear bomb-level energy at your nemesis at the small cost of a few grams. Eating/drinking a lot wouldn’t be bad for your health, it would be stockpiling weapons.
Getting back to the topic at hand, I would think that being able to turn matter into energy would be either directly applicable on the field or at the very least would result in enough forfeits to attain a championship.
(you would be a conscious rock, by the way)
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:10 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Could a shape shifter turn ones self into light?
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, theoretically.
But that’d be odd.
I think they could also sacrifice a bit of matter for a big ol’ mess of heat. That’d be awesome.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you could turn into light, then you could work on time travel.
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Being a conscious rock would suck a lot
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Unless you could make yourself fall on things
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Imagine being chased down a street by a giant angry rock
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
How would you know it was angry?
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
But it could be chasing you for many reasons
1. To be helpful because it you dropped your wallet.
2. It could be seeking your help because it was scared.
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Rocks can't retrieve wallets and aren't afraid of anything provided they're above the lava line
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Man, being a rock must be cool.
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I wonder what it would feel like to be one
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not scared at the very least,
while away from lava.
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you were a rock, and got melted,
would you be conscious of all of your particles? Or would it be like dying is to a human?
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Right, could you ADD mass this way?
Like if you’d gone and blown up a moon or something and needed to recharge quickly (i.e. the hot dog diet would take too much time), could you ‘grab’ some lava?
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It would have an angry face on it
like Kirby when he becomes a rock.
If it wasn't for college football I'd probably have given up on sports.
by bluemax on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, in this reality, you could just shapeshift into something else.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you're stupid enough to shapeshift into a rock you'd probably shapeshift into something else sucky afterwards
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I imagine I would eventually get curious enough to try.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you shapeshifted into a rock and then it turns out you need limbs to shapeshift back that would be terrible
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I probably wouldn't risk trying
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Could you shapeshift into a younger version of yourself?
That’s pretty much required under this construct isn’t it?
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So you'd have immortality
which by all accounts eventually leads to wanting to die. So yes, I assume that once I reached that point, I would first try shapeshifting into a rock because why not?
Unless then you live on forever because rocks don’t die. That would be cruelly hilarious.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Just because you could shapeshift into a younger you doesn't mean you'd have to
And you could always shapeshift into a guy about to get his head blown off
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
How would you know he was about to get his head blown off?
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I guess if he were to blow his own head off
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So you're saying the brain damage would prevent you from shapeshifting.
But wha if you weren’t succesfull at killing yourself, and just made yourself any idiot? Would you just spend the rest of your life shapeshifting into giant boogers and other stupid crap (like Meatwad on ATHF)?
I'm back to liking midgets too much.
by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Right, but my point is,
is you’re going to die, wouldn’t you at that point be willing to try anything? Because once you no longer care about living, there’s ultimately no risk to any activity.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Unless you're ready to embrace death and don't want to risk eternity as a conscious living rock
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Right, hence
Unless then you live on forever because rocks don’t die. That would be cruelly hilarious.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes.
In the event that we were suicidal, neither of us would enjoy living on for eternity as a conscious rock.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Why not wander to the very edge of an active volcanoe, then shapeshift into a rock so you roll into the lava?
I'm back to liking midgets too much.
by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Still a degree of uncertainty
What if you survive long enough for the lava to reach the ocean and solidify again?
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Pick a volcano away from the ocean.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes, but your premise was based upon reaching the ocean.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You're the one discussing the consciousness of rocks, stupid.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So what, you'd be in a "rock" coma for centuries, and suddenly awaken when you solidified again?
I'm back to liking midgets too much.
by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think the phrase 'rock coma' needs to be used in more promotional materials for music
I might buy a record that threatens to put me into a rock coma.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
We all know from the terminator movies that it's possible to melt but come back (unless you are stuck in whatever melted you).
So you may have a valid point.
I'm back to liking midgets too much.
by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So is this why a rock would be angry?
Cause it could not die, unless in Lava.
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I suppose there could also be tragic mining accidents
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think that's the rocks just getting revenge for being picked at.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I meant rocks might also be afraid of dynamite
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Would each piece of you retain some fragmentary consciousness?
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I imagine a conscious rock is similar to a conscious human so no probably not
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So basically, you'd "die" the second you were split in twain.
Life as a rock would be scary.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm not sure I agree with the premise that a conscious rock is at all similar to a conscious human.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Leading back to, perhaps he's being chased because the rock is afraid.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You could probably survive the occasional chipping but damage to your conscious core would be fatal
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
We're going to need a new thread before the game starts.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Could you shape shift into an entire planet?
What if you get trapped in orbit?
What if the sun goes nova?
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Too many separate components.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Where in space is the conscious core of a rock?
The middle? A bit with more iron in it? What about a geode?
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Shapeshifted geodes would be the pimps of the conscious geological community
I’m not sure which part is the conscious core. I suppose I’ll go home and break bits off of rocks until I kill them.
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ugh, good luck with that. I cannot stand the screams of rocks.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Do the screams of pimp-rocks sound any different?
I bet they do…
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So are you trying to say a rocks consciousness is stored at it's very center?
What other conscious being does this? How do you know that you’re consciousness wouldn’t be stored in that one chip that you lost, even though it’s a small part of your overall mass (much like our own brain)?
I'm back to liking midgets too much.
by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
LATE
You’re like a shapeshifted… shit, what’s the antithesis of a geode? What’s the hurley-hat-to-the-side-wearer equivalent in minerals?
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah and another question
is a continent one huge rock?
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nope.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You don't have enough mass at the starting point to shift into a continent
It’s like you haven’t been paying attention at all.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So that's two things rocks are afraid of.
One not Lava dependent
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Mining accidents.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
count now at 4 or 5 things?
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I thought only three.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hmmm
1. Lava
2. Dynamite
3. Earthquakes
4. Mining accidents
5. split in Twain.
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
In conclusion I don't think I'd ever want to shapeshift into a rock when there are so many less terrifying alternatives
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would turn invisible and steal money or something.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sure it is stupid
You change into something trasparent.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe you could shift into a wallet, get some money put in you, and then shift back.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
How would you get the money back?
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Shift your self a hole
reach in said hole, take money, plug hole.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would turn into someone who could stop time and shoot ice from my fingers
by Fogel on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I understand the benefit of the ice power
but what’s with the time thingy?
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"Split in Twain" is cracking me up!!
I’ll have to break that out in conversation tonight.
(My apologies to any rocks persent for the use of the words “cracking” and “break”. I didn’t mean to frighten you.)
I'm back to liking midgets too much.
by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would've thought you'd have figured out what was required for shapeshifting
before getting crazy with it.
It’s not like you’d need a special password and then suddenly forget that you’re a rock and have no mouth. Or at least, I hope you wouldn’t.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe you were trying to shapeshift into a lion but made a mistake
I wonder how many rocks in my backyard are shapeshifters who fucked up
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wait, so the rule is you can't shift back?
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe that's how we all end up at some point.
As rocks. Like a reverse Buddhist thing.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd probably hate children
quit skipping me motherfuckers
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That would be the highlight of my interminably depressing life.
More like, stop fucking on me you goddamn earwigs!
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
But you'd be getting constantly displaced
seems inconvenient
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
How many times can a single rock be skipped?
It’s not like they’re skipping the same rock (you) repeatedly.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So you'd be displaced once every couple thousand years
still seems inconvenient
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Into water at least; speeds up the sweet release of erosion.
or is it ‘weathering’?
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The actual world record is
pretty high from what I recall
Go Fo Broke!
by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
But it wouldn't be as though he'd be picked up from multiple places.
Just one long continuous joyous skip.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Exactly
You might try it once, just to say you did it, and so you could talk about what it’s like to be a rock at parties, but you probably wouldn’t stay in that form for very long.
Not when you could change yourself into Felix’s twin brother.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Shapeshifting would be dumb if you could change shapes.
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This did seem odd.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Is Aaron Hargan legitimately terrible
or would he be a good bounce back guy?
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:11 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
At first glance, bounceback candidate
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I remember his tRA being awful
but Cincinnati inflates his HRA totals
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He's missing fewer bats but the HR and LD rates seem unsustainably bad
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I want Harang on the M's.
He’ll be fine. I don’t think his velo’s gone down too much, and it’s not like people are putting a lot more of his pitches in play; he’s just given up a ton of LDs, which is a bit concerning, but not enough to make me think he’s hurt.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's weird to me how Harang has a reverse career platoon split despite being a FB/SL guy
by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Look at his horiz. movement in this plot
The slider group straddles the ‘0’ point, like he can make it break either way.
by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have a quick question: Does anyone remember right off hand what tRA stands for?
I’m making a mention of it in an article I’m writing, but I’d like to be able to say tRA (what it stands for) so people have more of an idea what it means right off hand. Is anyone sure about it? I looked up the explanation on StatCorner but I think I’m either an idiot and not seeing it or it’s not there.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Sep 17, 2008 4:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I can't tell over the internet if this is sarcastic. If you're serious, I'll put it in.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Sep 17, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I can't tell if through his accent if he is serious
But as far as I know this is it.
by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That was a joke made by me.
It doesn’t actually stand for anything official.
by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks guys
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I swear this is not what I was told.
I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I saw Red Sox fans this morning
talking about how Wakefield in a dome == domination.
If it wasn't for college football I'd probably have given up on sports.
by bluemax on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So why are the Sox worried about Ortiz
“having no power because of the wrist”?
by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
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