9/17: Open Game Thread

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:04 PM PDT in Seattle Mariners Game Threads

Seattle Mariners at Kansas City Royals, Sep 17, 2008 5:10 PM PDT

Lineup

09/17/08 5:10 PM PDT

Seattle Mariners	Kansas City Royals
Ichiro Suzuki - RF	David DeJesus - CF
Yuniesky Betancourt - SS	Mike Aviles - SS
Raul Ibanez - DH!	Jose Guillen - Replacement Level
Jose Lopez - 1B	Ryan Shealy - 1B
Jeremy Reed - CF	Billy Butler - DH
Wladimir Balentien - LF	Mark Teahen - 3B
Matt Tuiasosopo - 3B	John Buck - C
Kenji Johjima - C	Alberto Callaspo - 2B
Luis Valbuena - 2B	Esteban German - LF

	W-L	G	GS	CG	SHO	SV	BS	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	K	ERA	WHIP
2008 - Ryan Rowland-Smith	4-2	44	9	0	0	2	1	98.2	94	43	40	11	41	65	3.65	1.37

	W-L	G	GS	CG	SHO	SV	BS	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	K	ERA	WHIP
2008 - Gil Meche	11-11	31	31	0	0	0	0	191.1	187	92	88	19	65	165	4.14	1.32

If you were a shapeshifter, do you think you could shapeshift into anything, or would your options be limited to things of similar size? If you shapeshifted into a rock, would you be a conscious rock? If not, how could you shapeshift back? Are all rocks conscious? Could you shapeshift into a Mariners world championship? Why don't they teach us these things in school?

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Because there is no such thing as a Mariners World Championship

by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 4:09 PM PDT reply actions

Conservation of matter

I used to wonder the same thing – I also wondered if you could translate some small portion of your mass into energy. That way, you could basically throw nuclear bomb-level energy at your nemesis at the small cost of a few grams. Eating/drinking a lot wouldn’t be bad for your health, it would be stockpiling weapons.

Getting back to the topic at hand, I would think that being able to turn matter into energy would be either directly applicable on the field or at the very least would result in enough forfeits to attain a championship.

(you would be a conscious rock, by the way)

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:10 PM PDT reply actions

Could a shape shifter turn ones self into light?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions

Well, theoretically.

But that’d be odd.

I think they could also sacrifice a bit of matter for a big ol’ mess of heat. That’d be awesome.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

If you could turn into light, then you could work on time travel.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

If I were conscious light I would leave Boston shrouded in a cover of darkness for eternity

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

How would you know it was angry?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions

It's chasing you down a street

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

And it's shooting atom bombs from itself

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions

But it could be chasing you for many reasons

1. To be helpful because it you dropped your wallet.
2. It could be seeking your help because it was scared.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions

Rocks can't retrieve wallets and aren't afraid of anything provided they're above the lava line

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Man, being a rock must be cool.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

I wonder what it would feel like to be one

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

Not scared at the very least,

while away from lava.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions

Yeah it would rock

by Dewey N on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

If you were a rock, and got melted,

would you be conscious of all of your particles? Or would it be like dying is to a human?

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Right, could you ADD mass this way?

Like if you’d gone and blown up a moon or something and needed to recharge quickly (i.e. the hot dog diet would take too much time), could you ‘grab’ some lava?

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

It would have an angry face on it

like Kirby when he becomes a rock.

If it wasn't for college football I'd probably have given up on sports.

by bluemax on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions

If you've ever played Super Smash Bros then you know this is how you rule the world

by Robert on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions

Well, in this reality, you could just shapeshift into something else.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions

If you're stupid enough to shapeshift into a rock you'd probably shapeshift into something else sucky afterwards

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions

I imagine I would eventually get curious enough to try.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions

If you shapeshifted into a rock and then it turns out you need limbs to shapeshift back that would be terrible

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions

This thought would terrify me.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions

I probably wouldn't risk trying

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions

Could you shapeshift into a younger version of yourself?

That’s pretty much required under this construct isn’t it?

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Seems like it

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:25 PM PDT up reply actions

So you'd have immortality

which by all accounts eventually leads to wanting to die. So yes, I assume that once I reached that point, I would first try shapeshifting into a rock because why not?

Unless then you live on forever because rocks don’t die. That would be cruelly hilarious.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Just because you could shapeshift into a younger you doesn't mean you'd have to

And you could always shapeshift into a guy about to get his head blown off

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

How would you know he was about to get his head blown off?

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

It's your own shapeshifting

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions

I guess if he were to blow his own head off

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions

So you're saying the brain damage would prevent you from shapeshifting.

But wha if you weren’t succesfull at killing yourself, and just made yourself any idiot? Would you just spend the rest of your life shapeshifting into giant boogers and other stupid crap (like Meatwad on ATHF)?

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

Right, but my point is,

is you’re going to die, wouldn’t you at that point be willing to try anything? Because once you no longer care about living, there’s ultimately no risk to any activity.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Unless you're ready to embrace death and don't want to risk eternity as a conscious living rock

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Right, hence

Unless then you live on forever because rocks don’t die. That would be cruelly hilarious.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions

Then I think we agree

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes.

In the event that we were suicidal, neither of us would enjoy living on for eternity as a conscious rock.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions

We have so much in common!

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

This is first date material right here

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm adding "shares my views on conscious rock being" to my checklist.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions

Why not wander to the very edge of an active volcanoe, then shapeshift into a rock so you roll into the lava?

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions

I wonder if you could shape shift into a silicon-based life form.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions

Still a degree of uncertainty

What if you survive long enough for the lava to reach the ocean and solidify again?

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions

Pick a volcano away from the ocean.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions

All lava eventually solidifies

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes, but your premise was based upon reaching the ocean.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

Was one example stupid

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

You're the one discussing the consciousness of rocks, stupid.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

If you can't follow a conversation feel free to stay out of it

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Conscience doesn't

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

In a way, it does.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

OH

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

So what, you'd be in a "rock" coma for centuries, and suddenly awaken when you solidified again?

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

I think the phrase 'rock coma' needs to be used in more promotional materials for music

I might buy a record that threatens to put me into a rock coma.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

rock coma's are common in post-music music

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions

We all know from the terminator movies that it's possible to melt but come back (unless you are stuck in whatever melted you).

So you may have a valid point.

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions

So is this why a rock would be angry?

Cause it could not die, unless in Lava.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

I suppose there could also be tragic mining accidents

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions

I think that's the rocks just getting revenge for being picked at.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Earthquakes.

by oc on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions

I meant rocks might also be afraid of dynamite

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions

Would each piece of you retain some fragmentary consciousness?

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

I imagine a conscious rock is similar to a conscious human so no probably not

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions

So basically, you'd "die" the second you were split in twain.

Life as a rock would be scary.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm not sure I agree with the premise that a conscious rock is at all similar to a conscious human.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes I'm beginning to question this myself

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

Leading back to, perhaps he's being chased because the rock is afraid.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

You could probably survive the occasional chipping but damage to your conscious core would be fatal

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

This is the worst subthread ever.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Or greatest.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions

We're going to need a new thread before the game starts.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions

Could you shape shift into an entire planet?

What if you get trapped in orbit?
What if the sun goes nova?

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions

Too many separate components.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

Or if you were an asteroid that got seperated from the rest of the pack and just flew out into the universe alone.

by oc on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions

Scary.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Where in space is the conscious core of a rock?

The middle? A bit with more iron in it? What about a geode?

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Shapeshifted geodes would be the pimps of the conscious geological community

I’m not sure which part is the conscious core. I suppose I’ll go home and break bits off of rocks until I kill them.

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions

Ugh, good luck with that. I cannot stand the screams of rocks.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Do the screams of pimp-rocks sound any different?

I bet they do…

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions

So are you trying to say a rocks consciousness is stored at it's very center?

What other conscious being does this? How do you know that you’re consciousness wouldn’t be stored in that one chip that you lost, even though it’s a small part of your overall mass (much like our own brain)?

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions

LATE

You’re like a shapeshifted… shit, what’s the antithesis of a geode? What’s the hurley-hat-to-the-side-wearer equivalent in minerals?

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

Sandstone

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Burn!

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Aluminum.

by oc on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

But rocks.

J.K.L.

by Aaron Campeau on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Yeah and another question

is a continent one huge rock?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

Nope.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions

So rocks are separatists

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions

You don't have enough mass at the starting point to shift into a continent

It’s like you haven’t been paying attention at all.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions

So that's two things rocks are afraid of.

One not Lava dependent

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Mining accidents.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

count now at 4 or 5 things?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions

I thought only three.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions

Hmmm

1. Lava
2. Dynamite
3. Earthquakes
4. Mining accidents
5. split in Twain.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions

6. any significant chipping

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions

7. erosion

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

In conclusion I don't think I'd ever want to shapeshift into a rock when there are so many less terrifying alternatives

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions

I would turn invisible and steal money or something.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions

Invisible isn't a shape

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

How could we tell?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

Sure it is stupid

You change into something trasparent.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

Maybe you could shift into a wallet, get some money put in you, and then shift back.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions

How would you get the money back?

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions

Shift your self a hole

reach in said hole, take money, plug hole.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions

I would turn into someone who could stop time and shoot ice from my fingers

by Dewey N on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions

I understand the benefit of the ice power

but what’s with the time thingy?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions

Stopping time is without a doubt the greatest superpower anyone could have

by Dewey N on Sep 17, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions

I thought you'd turn into an some sort of real living furry concoction

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions

All downside, no upside.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

Really, this might be a problem with all things inherently inanimate.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm going to go shapeshift into my evening commute

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions

"Split in Twain" is cracking me up!!

I’ll have to break that out in conversation tonight.

(My apologies to any rocks persent for the use of the words “cracking” and “break”. I didn’t mean to frighten you.)

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Sep 17, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Significant chipping ftw

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

My folksy vocabulary has its uses at times.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions

I would've thought you'd have figured out what was required for shapeshifting

before getting crazy with it.

It’s not like you’d need a special password and then suddenly forget that you’re a rock and have no mouth. Or at least, I hope you wouldn’t.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Maybe you were trying to shapeshift into a lion but made a mistake

I wonder how many rocks in my backyard are shapeshifters who fucked up

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Wait, so the rule is you can't shift back?

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

What if you can't? is the question

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

Maybe that's how we all end up at some point.

As rocks. Like a reverse Buddhist thing.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

I'd probably hate children

quit skipping me motherfuckers

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions

That would be the highlight of my interminably depressing life.

More like, stop fucking on me you goddamn earwigs!

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions

But you'd be getting constantly displaced

seems inconvenient

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions

How many times can a single rock be skipped?

It’s not like they’re skipping the same rock (you) repeatedly.

by Matthew on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

So you'd be displaced once every couple thousand years

still seems inconvenient

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Into water at least; speeds up the sweet release of erosion.

or is it ‘weathering’?

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions

The actual world record is

pretty high from what I recall

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions

But it wouldn't be as though he'd be picked up from multiple places.

Just one long continuous joyous skip.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

Yep 51 times so far

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Sep 17, 2008 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions

Exactly

You might try it once, just to say you did it, and so you could talk about what it’s like to be a rock at parties, but you probably wouldn’t stay in that form for very long.
Not when you could change yourself into Felix’s twin brother.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Shapeshifting would be dumb if you could change shapes.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions

couldn't*

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

This did seem odd.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions

I should have left it as it was a zen mystery.

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions

Is Aaron Hargan legitimately terrible

or would he be a good bounce back guy?

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:11 PM PDT reply actions

*Harang

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions

At first glance, bounceback candidate

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions

I remember his tRA being awful

but Cincinnati inflates his HRA totals

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions

He's missing fewer bats but the HR and LD rates seem unsustainably bad

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

I hope he gets traded

by JI on Sep 17, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

I want Harang on the M's.

He’ll be fine. I don’t think his velo’s gone down too much, and it’s not like people are putting a lot more of his pitches in play; he’s just given up a ton of LDs, which is a bit concerning, but not enough to make me think he’s hurt.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions

It's weird to me how Harang has a reverse career platoon split despite being a FB/SL guy

by Jeff Sullivan on Sep 17, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Look at his horiz. movement in this plot

(here).

The slider group straddles the ‘0’ point, like he can make it break either way.

by marc w on Sep 17, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

I have a quick question: Does anyone remember right off hand what tRA stands for?

I’m making a mention of it in an article I’m writing, but I’d like to be able to say tRA (what it stands for) so people have more of an idea what it means right off hand. Is anyone sure about it? I looked up the explanation on StatCorner but I think I’m either an idiot and not seeing it or it’s not there.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Sep 17, 2008 4:13 PM PDT reply actions