Lookout Landing: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:



Sports blogs for fans, by fans.
Around SBN: June USA Today / SB Nation Consensus MMA Rankings Released


Miguel Cairo Has 194 At Bats

One night in my bedroom while nursing an ache
I heard a loud rattle that shook me awake
I saw that the walls were beginning to quake
And it looked like the window was going to break
Then whispered a shadow resembling a snake
"Miguel Cairo is going to play."

I sat and I wondered "is this just a dream?"
To encounter a ghost seems a little extreme
I wished that I didn't care so for a team
For whom constant losing evolved as a theme
But the shadow remained and then said with a beam
"Miguel Cairo is going to play."

My slumber perturbed, I was not in the mood
To deal with specters who tend to intrude
But then with a thunder theatrics ensued
And the ghost said "If I were you I would conclude
'Due to this declaration my team will be screwed'
Miguel Cairo is going to play."

I jolted upright having then figured out
A devil was present beyond any doubt
I wanted to scream and I wanted to shout
But the devil held court as it floated about
And whilst it did float it repeated throughout
"Miguel Cairo is going to play."

At this I grew angry and rose to my feet
And charged at the specter prepared to compete
But with a cold wind it forced me to retreat
And shiver with chills as I hid 'neath the sheet
It wore an expression with laughter replete
"Miguel Cairo is going to play."

"Please sir have some mercy!" I begged and I pleaded
"I swear that my soul has been sorely mistreated."
Upset with the specter my blood was still heated
Yet I had no choice but to sit there defeated
The specter was smiling, his warning completed
"Miguel Cairo is going to play."

Vanquished I sat and I asked it to share
"Why are you happy to cause us despair?
As a devil from Hades you must be aware
That breaking the broken is badly unfair."
"Of winning," he cackled, "you've nary a prayer
Miguel Cairo is going to play."

"But why!" I was yelling, my voice with a crack
"We're hardly deserving of such an attack!
Regardless of whether your heart is pitch black
I feel like you guys ought to cut us some slack."
But for my words ignoring the ghost had a knack
"Miguel Cairo is going to play."

Then with a poof shone a portal aglow
And straight through the center I watched the ghost go
My bedroom now empty I glanced to and fro
By the light on the wall was a message below
It read "know your role, and your role is to blow
Miguel Cairo is going to play."

19 recs | Comment 36 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

More from Lookout Landing

Holy Crap

Mar 2009 by Jeff - 11 comments

So Much For Posting A Weekend In Review

Jun 2008 by Jeff - 191 comments

Around SB Nation

Monday's Frosty Mug

May 2009 from Brew Crew Ball - 66 comments

Phillies vs. Braves: May 8-10

May 2009 from The Good Phight - 0 comments

Comments

Display:

You need to get out more.

I'll shut up lest you ban me like you banned butthol.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Sep 16, 2008 12:13 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was thinking that maybe this has been a ploy to help us lose games

and then I realized that Cairo has probably been our best option at first all year. I think thats even more depressing/hilarious than all the AB’s we’ve given him

by ack on Sep 16, 2008 12:42 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I wish I had your mind.

"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "

.277/.324/.316

~Juan Pierre

by Goose on Sep 16, 2008 1:10 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Holy shit

that was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever read

by mariners124m on Sep 16, 2008 1:16 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Give up your day job

and become a bitter sarcastic writer full time.

by pygmalion on Sep 16, 2008 1:47 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No way.

He’d become to emo about being enslaved to writing…

This signature space for rent.

by PositivePaul on Sep 16, 2008 3:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Please, sir, I want some more.

This is the best thing I’ve read here. Really.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Sep 16, 2008 1:50 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Amazing

That was some of the best writing I’ve read all year. There was maybe an awkward moment or two, but it delivered so well how Mariners fans feel about Cairo and everything else. Thanks. (Brandon please save us.)

by jmantemp on Sep 16, 2008 2:28 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

He's a pretty good fielder at least...

remember those bunts he charged up on…

Good poem regardless./

Cuba Si! Yanqi No!

by Patrick517 on Sep 16, 2008 2:33 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Um.

Wow.

This signature space for rent.

by PositivePaul on Sep 16, 2008 3:03 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Holy Shit!!!

Jeff, I dont know how you do it. You are so awesome, we need to hang out more than once a year.

If/When Beltre leaves, Im making a giant fucking head of you! Nobody will really know what the hell it means but the fortunate few that are here. In the end thats all that really matters.

My quick smells like french toast.

by RED29 on Sep 16, 2008 4:04 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Harry Canary

Along with all of the other Zooperstars were on America has Talent the other night. Harry was in a sling like he got his wing busted. I thought of you and hoped that you had finally got your revenge.

I dont watch the show myself but I do watch the soup on E!
Just thought I should clarify. I hate talent shows, that shit is fruit booty!

The good thing about having sex with pregnant chicks is that they cant get pregnant.

by RED29 on Sep 16, 2008 4:16 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A giant Jeff Sullivan head would be a glorious spectacle to watch.

"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "

.277/.324/.316

~Juan Pierre

by Goose on Sep 17, 2008 1:08 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Maybe this is just me

But I thought that the Greek epic was even better, due to Jeff’s mastery of tone and mood in that piece.

by pygmalion on Sep 17, 2008 6:46 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

And apparently he is working on the longest streak

without a homer now that Juan Pierre hit one last night.

If it wasn't for college football I'd probably have given up on sports.

by bluemax on Sep 16, 2008 4:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

By reading a game thread of your own volition you agree to accept all liability for any and all damage done to your delicate sensibilities.
Start posting about the Mariners »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

Small
Strip Club Cleared to Open Near Safeco Field

Recent FanPosts

Small
Want to go to tonights game in Boston?  Please?
Small
Top 5 IFA Guillermo Pimentel signs with the Mariners?
Clemente_small
OT 7/2/05-- Flag Waving, Long Weekend, 4th of July Holiday edition
Small
Open Sounders vs. Timbers gamethread
Small
Happy Canada Day
Durer2_small
Who will be heir to the King?
Eyebrows_small
OFFTOP 6/29/09 - Avoiding Work Edition
Dscn1856_small
USA vs. Brazil Game Thread
Small
Anyone meeting up in NYC?
Small
NHL Draft Open Thread

Post_icon New FanPost All FanPosts Carrot-mini


Sexy People

Hms_surprise_small Graham

Small Matthew

Small Jeff

Official Partner of Yahoo! Sports