8/7: Open Game Thread, Part 2
I can't believe how well this is living up to expectations.
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The other thread ended just as I got the chance to pull this baby out, so here goes again:

I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:38 PM PDT
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Which one did you violate?
Did you expose yourself in public again?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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I thought I'd have to use this on DRB posters, not an LL'er

Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:42 PM PDT
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We're in the 8th?
Time for a Jose Lopez walkoff shot!
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:36 PM PDT
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Something feels off when FSN gives me voting advice
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:37 PM PDT
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Sonny is lazy. only 61 pitches.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:37 PM PDT
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So I'm guessing we've seen good Felix tonight?
by OlSalty on
Aug 7, 2008 8:37 PM PDT
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It's ok to call him that since he's white right?
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
by ColeFitz on
Aug 7, 2008 8:38 PM PDT
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White people don't have feelings.
They just follow the snake mother’s orders
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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*Evil scientist Yakub's
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:42 PM PDT
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Maybe someone can introduce the M's to Ms. Run Support
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:38 PM PDT
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I don't think they swing that way.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:39 PM PDT
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Is she related to B.J.?
The M’s are too lazy to score runs.
www.raysbb.com
Yes, we really do have fans.
by killa3312 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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Top five picks in 2002:
Bryan Bullington
BJ Upton
Christopher Gruler
Adam Loewen
Clint Everts
Zounds.
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:39 PM PDT
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That worked well for us, No matter Beane's objections.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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But the rest of the 1st was pretty awesome
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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Moneyball says that Upton was a bad pick
blah blah blah
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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Moneyball = overrated
Hard to win titles with safe, limited upside college players.
www.raysbb.com
Yes, we really do have fans.
by killa3312 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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I agree with your premise
but not your supporting detail.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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What in the hell is a Christopher Gruler?
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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A shoulder injury
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:42 PM PDT
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I imagined it was Gruling for Reds fans to see him pitch.
www.raysbb.com
Yes, we really do have fans.
by killa3312 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:42 PM PDT
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A Kazmir wanted to much money.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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That worked well for us too.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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Dude doesn't even have a Wikipedia page
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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Sometimes I wish I could go back in time a few years
I’d be an awesome GM.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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We are losing 1-0 because Clement couldn't block a ball.
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:40 PM PDT
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Same reason we swept Detroit. Except with inge.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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Felix got hurt earlier this year
because Clement couldn’t block a ball.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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That was bad, even for you Adrian.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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Jesus Christ, control pitchers own our lineup so hard
by OlSalty on
Aug 7, 2008 8:41 PM PDT
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hields is going to be fun.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:42 PM PDT
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They either own lineups or get absolutely crushed by them
never seems like there’s a middle ground for them.
by craig3410 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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Jesus Christ, control pitchers own our lineup so hard
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:44 PM PDT
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Is that what you guys mean when you say Adrian needs to aim better?
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:42 PM PDT
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Seriously ♥ Lopez.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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Would ya look at that? A hit. By Loafie.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:43 PM PDT
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I hate baseball
Felix is pitching well, the Rays are winning, but I’m still sad.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:44 PM PDT
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Did your cat die?
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:45 PM PDT
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So this young 2B we have is pretty good.
I say we ignore 2007 and the second half of 2006 and pretend he got called up this year
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:45 PM PDT
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We'll edit history and say he made it this year
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:48 PM PDT
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Lazy fly ball.
I’m out. (Possible Toronado run, Jeff!)
by Teej on
Aug 7, 2008 8:45 PM PDT
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I'll drink some meat beer in your honor.
Just kidding, I won’t.
by Teej on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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MLB.tv has stopped imploring me to keep watching
I guess I should stop watching
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:45 PM PDT
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You have less of a choice than most of us.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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So, Lopez is still awesome.
Keep rocking Lopez. Less than three.
by joof on
Aug 7, 2008 8:45 PM PDT
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Which is slower, Clement's bat or BJ Upton going up the line on a grounder to the infield?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:45 PM PDT
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Molasses.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:46 PM PDT
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No, molasses beats Upton at the very least.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:46 PM PDT
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You're fucking angry tonight
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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Seriously. Normally it's STP that's angry.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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Sonny's pitching well, I'm cool.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:48 PM PDT
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You're fucking angry tonight
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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You got served here, here, and here, but mostly there in the pelvic region.
by joof on
Aug 7, 2008 8:50 PM PDT
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I like how Bavasi is lurking in the shadows...
by Omerta on
Aug 7, 2008 8:57 PM PDT
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He chose Everett
he deserves to be sad.
9 = 8
by JI on
Aug 7, 2008 8:58 PM PDT
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I have a better question.
If FLC tried to throw out BJ Upton stealing, would the universe grind to a halt?
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:46 PM PDT
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Upton would be faster if he actually tried
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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If BJ Upton were an electron he would be observable
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:47 PM PDT
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If Upton were an electron it would be easy to pinpoint both his momentum and his position.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:48 PM PDT
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If Upton was an element he would be hydrogen because neutrons are just too damn much work
by Nick S on
Aug 7, 2008 8:49 PM PDT
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I think he may be Helium, because its inert.
by joof on
Aug 7, 2008 8:51 PM PDT
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Felix is Krypton, because he cripples batters and he's noble.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:52 PM PDT
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If Upton were a temperature he would be absolute zero because he finally found a way to completely stop his molecules from moving in any way.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:51 PM PDT
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Beej HR. Calling it.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:48 PM PDT
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Well, shit.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:48 PM PDT
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That was one lazy swing.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:49 PM PDT
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Please don't tell me I have to see Percy today.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:49 PM PDT
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Lazier: BJ Upton or a long hot summer day in the country with your grandpa?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:49 PM PDT
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Your face.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:50 PM PDT
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If BJ Upton were an oscillating fan, he'd be a stationary fan
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:51 PM PDT
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18 inches higher
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
by ColeFitz on
Aug 7, 2008 8:51 PM PDT
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WHAT THE HELL
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:51 PM PDT
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He gets closer and closer every time.
They’ll start flying out soon.
by Omerta on
Aug 7, 2008 8:51 PM PDT
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Balfour plz. Balfour plz. WTF MILLER NONONONONONONONONO.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:52 PM PDT
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LOL your setup man's parents spelled Trevor wrong
by Gomez on
Aug 7, 2008 8:52 PM PDT
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Call him our SU man again and I will beat you.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:53 PM PDT
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And your team is warming that tomato can up because?
by Gomez on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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Maddon loves him like a child.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:56 PM PDT
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I love that there are no videos on Gameday.
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:52 PM PDT
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It's been that sort of game.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:53 PM PDT
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Damn I thought it was gone...
But still, ♥ Balentien♥
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:52 PM PDT
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Maddon is conceding the game in honor of Felix day. Miller is up.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:53 PM PDT
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LaHair: the new Willie Bloomquist
just watch.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:53 PM PDT
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4 people in the Brian LaHair club.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:53 PM PDT
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FUUUUUUUUCK
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:53 PM PDT
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Sorry Rays fans...
I want us to win this game for Felix
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
by ColeFitz on
Aug 7, 2008 8:54 PM PDT
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THE GIRL IN THE LAHAIR FAN CLUB STOLE MY MOVE
She was waving her arms and hands at the field like she was casting a spell. I do that! Not her.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 8:54 PM PDT
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Go High Socks!
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:54 PM PDT
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I was trying to create a nickname here.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:56 PM PDT
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I like it.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 9:00 PM PDT
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NP for short.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 9:01 PM PDT
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Dirk Hayhurst has a claim on that title, man.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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Cairo has to be the worst pinch runner ever
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:54 PM PDT
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YOU SUCK CRAWFORD
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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Crawford was though.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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Like it could go much lower anyway
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:56 PM PDT
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Now to the plate for the Mariners, Yuniesky Betancourt...
-0.200/-0.199/-0.100
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:58 PM PDT
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Tied!!!
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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BJ Upton couldn't be bothered to tell Crawford to throw it to 2nd.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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Let's go M's!
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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NO MILLER NO MILLER NO MILLER NO MILLER
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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Nice Yuni.
And good to see his discipline coming back
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 8:55 PM PDT
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Niehaus wanted that to be a HR
He gave that Yuni flyball the full 11 volume SWUNG ON AND BELTED treatment
by Gomez on
Aug 7, 2008 8:56 PM PDT
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BJ Upton registered for Sleep Standing Up classes and slept through orientation
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 8:56 PM PDT
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THis is in danger of becoming like the puns.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 9:01 PM PDT
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How sad for you.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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Nah, cause it'll end after the series is over.
And it’s their meme we’re killing, not ours.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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;_;
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:57 PM PDT
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Not even the Rays have learnt that Ichiro doesn't have a platoon split.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 8:58 PM PDT
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Yes they have
It’s Felix Day and Maddon want’s to give him the opportunity to win by throwing our worst pitcher.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 8:59 PM PDT
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Maybe Miller pitches better to lefties regardless of what Ichiro does.
9 = 8
by JI on
Aug 7, 2008 8:59 PM PDT
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Almost like Miller didn't pitch it
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 8:59 PM PDT
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Holy Christ this game is fast!
I’ve been home for 15 minutes, and already 1.5 innings gone down. But speed reading the entire thread was hilarious.
by dpseadv on
Aug 7, 2008 9:00 PM PDT
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THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT
MILLER 2 STRAIGHT OUTS I’M CONFUSED
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:01 PM PDT
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If we had pulled ahead
we would have had a shot at ending this game within two hours.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 9:01 PM PDT
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Okay JJ, give me back the 98 mph FB
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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I remember when Cairo was our starting 2B
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:03 PM PDT
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This makes me sad.
Flash forward eight years and he’s been our starting 1B.
by Omerta on
Aug 7, 2008 9:04 PM PDT
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Fruit of the Loom "feel for the game?"
You have got to be kidding me.
by Omerta on
Aug 7, 2008 9:03 PM PDT
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Poor decision.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 9:04 PM PDT
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Longoria - Pleaseplease hit one out.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:04 PM PDT
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Evan is better than you and I.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 9:04 PM PDT
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Brett got Longo's autograph today
That made me more jealous than it ever should.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 9:05 PM PDT
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OH FUCK YOU PUTZ. COME ON UPTON KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:05 PM PDT
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Uh oh
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
by ColeFitz on
Aug 7, 2008 9:05 PM PDT
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With the exception of playing Raul over Wlad and Reed in the OF
I have no problems with Riggleman.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 9:05 PM PDT
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Goddamnit JJ.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 9:06 PM PDT
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He's a douche for loving Brett Favre
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 9:07 PM PDT
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Until he stopped.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 9:07 PM PDT
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He would have been able to avoid it
if he hadn’t been busy swinging in the first place.
by katal on
Aug 7, 2008 9:08 PM PDT
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Aw man, I hope Longoria didn't break his hand.
Sit down Riggleman, he got hit.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 9:07 PM PDT
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I will find that motherfucker and I will do fucking disturbing shit to him if Evan is hurt.
by R.J. Anderson on
Aug 7, 2008 9:07 PM PDT
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You and me both.
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:08 PM PDT
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"It puts the lotion on its skin..."
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 9:08 PM PDT
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This is almost as good as the crazed Felix comments.
Finally, some recognition.
by NOLAmarinergirl on
Aug 7, 2008 9:12 PM PDT
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BJ Upton is a diagnosed narcoleptic but he's usually too lazy to fall asleep.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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I find it likely that he has blue eyes.
9 = 8
by JI on
Aug 7, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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I couldn't find a screencap of Homer in the jury
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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That's how I got the Krusty screenshot.
9 = 8
by JI on
Aug 7, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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LONGO HUSTLES HURT
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:08 PM PDT
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Somebody needs to redo the famous pic to say "PUTZ IN! GAME IN JEOPARDY!"
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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Putz in, Game Over.
"All I’ve ever done is be Juan Pierre when I wear this jersey. They’re sticking it to me this year for whatever reason. "
.280/.324/.316
~Juan Pierre
by Goose on
Aug 7, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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Putz is the new Matt Thornton.
Death spiral…
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Aug 7, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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Matt Thorton terrifies me.
Tools Whore
Sign Bonds!
by Tyler on
Aug 7, 2008 9:10 PM PDT
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Well, Remember.
Putz’s mentor is Eddie Guardado.
by ThundaPC on
Aug 7, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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I'll always like Eddie.
Both good Eddie and suck Eddie.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on
Aug 7, 2008 9:14 PM PDT
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Based on clips I have seen of the dugout, Erik Bedard is a non-stop laughter machine
by Jeff on
Aug 7, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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Something tells me Navi will be a hero
"STP is me. He can do everything I can do." - R.J. Anderson
by P Brady on
Aug 7, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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