I consider myself a late but thoughtful giver of gifts. Rarely do I give a gift on the date for which it's intended, but more often than not, that's because I'm waiting to be struck with a perfect idea. I like a gift that's received with enthusiasm and genuine marvel, so while I may not be very prompt, I prefer to think that in the end it's usually worth the wait.

I'd like to think that Lee Pelekoudas is in the same boat. I'd like to think that, like me, Lee's an excellent gift-giver who simply requires a little bit of extra patience. But so far, at least as far as Washburn's concerned, Lee's only demonstrated the second part. There has been no gift. There was a rumor of a gift, but no gift-giving came to fruition, and while I'm trying to give him time, I'm ever so slowly losing my wits. Come on, Lee. This is easy. Give us the gift of no Washburn. Because the longer you wait, the more you look like that dick who forgot his friend's birthday. And that guy sucks.

Biggest Contribution: Jeremy Reed, +15.1%
Biggest Suckfest: Jose Lopez, -16.3%
Most Important AB: Reed single, +11.7%
Most Important Pitch: Span triple, -17.7%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -23.8%
Total Contribution by Lineup: -26.2%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)

• It's funny - we all complain about how hanging on to Washburn a little longer only gives him time to regress, thereby lowering his market value, but let's be honest, the only team whose opinion of Washburn changes by the start is us, and we already have him. There's not another organization in baseball - at least, not a competitive one - who's going to look at Washburn's 3.44 ERA since May 25th and think "hey this guy's really good." Everybody knows exactly what Jarrod Washburn would bring them as a starter, and nothing he does short of getting hurt or adding 10mph to his fastball is going to change the way he's perceived. So don't worry about the regression. If some team out there really wants Jarrod Washburn, they'll go ahead and try to get him, even if his run prevention returns to normal. For better or worse, front offices just aren't as easily duped as we've been conditioned to believe they are. 


• Hard to believe Adrian Beltre came about six inches away from giving the Mariners a seventh-inning lead. Unfortunately Denard Span appears to be one hell of a defensive outfielder. Given that Beltre has the seventh-lowest BABIP - LD% in baseball, Red might want to consider staying inside for a while, just to be safe. It's a jungle out there.


• Denard Span, everybody. The 20th overall pick in 2002 came into the year looking like a complete and utter bust, having failed to hit anywhere north of high-A, but all he's done since the start of the season is hit .328 between AAA and the Majors with a good eye, a lot of speed, and a shit-ton of groundballs. On top of that, if this series is any indication, he also seems to play outstanding defense. Out of nowhere, a prospect in danger of being written off for good has turned himself into a major building block for the organization. That's always a lot of fun to see, even if one of the side effects is watching Beltre get robbed. Now if only this sort of thing would happen with Jeremy Reed.


• Jarrod Washburn's BIP profile: 3 grounders, 6 fly balls, 7 liners, 2 pop-ups, 2 bunts (excluded). That's a 44% line drive rate for those of you without a calculator. A 44% line drive rate against a lineup including Nick Punto, Mike Redmond, Carlos Gomez, Adam Everett, and someone named Randy Ruiz. Oh, he also only threw 60 strikes on 102 pitches. Welcome to bad. RRS may not be much better whenever he gets his chance to stick, but at least he'll be cheaper and far more attractive in a sexual way.


• You may not have noticed but Bryan LaHair isn't very good.


• It took me a little while to figure out why a 2-2/1 BB day so redeemed Jeremy Reed in my eyes, but I think I figured it out. Last night his OPS stood at .695. Now it stands at .714. It's that "7" that, psychologically, seems to make all the difference. I know it's stupid and I know .699 basically means the same thing as .700, but for some reason, my brain seems to thing the second one is quite a bit more appealing. .272/.318/.377? Fourth outfielder. .280/.330/.384? Now we're talking. I won't defend it, but I will explain it. What's that? These chicken tacos are only 99 cents? I'll take ten!


• Jared Wells (the guy we got back in the Cha Baek trade that oh my god fuck you Carlos Silva) made his Mariner debut today and whiffed two over a pair of scoreless innings. Not a bad first game for a pitcher that kind of sucks. He's not particularly interesting, but since he's up for a few days, I might as well spend a few words talking about him. He's a righty that comes over-the-top with a straight fastball between 90-94, a slider between 78-83 with a lot of movement, and a changeup that serves no purpose other than to nominally diversify his arsenal. As is the case with seemingly every disappointment ever considered at any point to have a bit of promise, the problem with Wells isn't so much stuff as location. He has enough stuff to retire Major League hitters, but he doesn't throw enough strikes to give himself a chance. Oh, he also doesn't generate many groundballs. It'd be one thing if Wells were still 23 or 24, but he turns 27 in October, and he's not making progress. Barring some miracle, be prepared to forget this name.