43-69

As a run-of-the-mill male age 18-35 who's out of touch with his emotions, tonight's game left me puzzled. Watching it, I knew that I was witnessing something extraordinary, but at the time I couldn't quite figure out how to respond to the sudden onslaught of unusual events. I was far too overwhelmed to be able to think that fast on the fly. And so, with the game now behind us, it's necessary for me to go to the scoring table to figure out exactly how I felt about this. Because what good are sports if something this irregular can't elicit an emotional reaction? It's just a simple matter of figuring out what that emotional reaction was actually supposed to be.

The following table contains three columns. The first - Concern - consists of relevant individual things that I still care about despite the season as a whole being a total nightmare. The second - Explanation - relates the concern to this particular game. And the third - Happy Points - assigns a point total between -10 and +10 for each row, with -10 meaning that I was most displeased with the row, and +10 meaning that I was most ecstatic. This isn't a very good table caption, but then, it isn't a very good table. On with it.

Overall, this game wound up scoring a 45 on the Happy Points scale. Lacking any prior point of reference, I can't say for sure whether or not that's particularly good, but my inclination is that a score of 45 is pretty substantial. And why wouldn't it be? Miguel Batista got his ass kicked and the team mounted a giant rally that fed off of some bitchin' heroics. How isn't that an incredible game?

Watching as it happened, I felt torn between the comeback and missing an opportunity to catch the Nationals, but now that I look back on everything, I was placing too much weight on the Strasburg Sweepstakes. Winning this game wasn't a travesty. Based on the table, it was actually quite thrilling. And at a point in the season at which it's all you can do to still give a damn about this team, isn't that really all you can ask for? Something that keeps you entertained? As neat as it would be to end up with the #1 overall pick, the projected draft order could change a billion different ways by next June, and good gravy Strasburg is becoming one of the ten most annoying words on the planet. Every so often it's nice to remember that there's more to baseball than losing for a change.

I wasn't sure how to react at the time, but looking back on the game with an eye towards the table, I can see that I should have reacted happily. And while figuring out in the aftermath that you witnessed a happy situation isn't the same as actually being happy as it happens, it's still a step up from the usual. Join me tomorrow as I reflect upon my breakfast with a table that attempts to deduce whether or not I should feel satiated.

Biggest Contribution: Raul Ibanez, +22.8%
Biggest Suckfest: Miguel Batista, -27.4%
Most Important AB: Clement single, +22.3%
Most Important Pitch: Lamb double, -11.3%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -27.4%
Total Contribution by Lineup: +53.5%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +23.9%
(What is this chart?)