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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

8/17: Open Game Thread

Wbc_029_tiny by Jeff Sullivan on in Seattle Mariners Game Threads

Seattle Mariners at Minnesota Twins, Aug 17, 2008 11:10 AM PDT


Lineup

Seattle Mariners @ Minnesota Twins

08/17/08 11:10 AM PDT

Seattle Mariners Minnesota Twins
Ichiro Suzuki - RF Denard Span - CF
Miguel Cairo - 3B Nick Punto - 2B
Raul Ibanez - "LF" Joe Mauer - C
Adrian Beltre - DH Justin Morneau - 1B
Jose Lopez - 2B Delmon Young - LF
Wladimir Balentien - CF Jason Kubel - RF
Kenji Johjima - C Randy Ruiz - DH
Bryan LaHair - 1B Brendan Harris - 3B
Yuniesky Betancourt - "SS" Adam Everett - SS

W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP
2008 (AAA) - Ryan Feierabend
 7-1 13 13 0 0 0 0 75 64 21 17 5 15 48 2.04
 1.05

W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP
2008 - Glen Perkins 9-3 18 18 0 0 0 0 110.2 129 52 50 13 29 56 4.07 1.43

For as long as he's been floating around, it's hard to believe ol' Big Nose only turns 23 this week. He still has a chance to become an actual Major League pitcher, which is easy to forget when his name seldom comes up in conversation. Now if only he could find some more talent. Then we'd really have something special on our hands.

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CoolStandings.com odds:

Rays: 57.7% division, 32% WC
RSox: 40.5% division, 43.8% WC
Yankees: 1.4% division, 5.1% WC
Twins: 51.9% division, 7.6% WC
WSox: 47.3% divison, 8.6% WC

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 17, 2008 10:35 AM PDT reply actions  

He's a bit pricier, but his bat is still genuinely good.

Although I imagine he’ll collapse against lefties next year.

by Graham MacAree on Aug 17, 2008 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

Ryan is fooling nobody

This is off to a swimmingly good start!

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 11:26 AM PDT reply actions  

I feel the same. I'm sitting here on my couch laughing,

and I’ve only been awake for about 30 minutes. Bless this team.

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions  

SHELLLLLLLLLLLED

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:28 AM PDT reply actions  

Hmmm...

See ya back in those ugly unis soon, Ryan…

My layout.spellcheckDefault goes to 11

by PositivePaul on Aug 17, 2008 11:29 AM PDT reply actions  

yes

SBN 1.0 had a character limit in the subjects

now there isn’t

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Aug 17, 2008 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions  

"You gotta love these guys!"

Isn’t Ken Cloude still kicking around the Indy leagues? Lets give him a cup of coffee.

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 11:29 AM PDT reply actions  

Feierabend has topped out at a mesmerizing 87mph so far

This game only makes it all the more difficult to figure out why Campillo is doing what he’s doing.

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 17, 2008 11:30 AM PDT reply actions  

Lovely

Even the routine ground balls are basically stung line drives the just happen to be on the ground right at an infielder.

by lyleleander on Aug 17, 2008 11:33 AM PDT reply actions  

Whaaaaaaaaa?

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:38 AM PDT up reply actions  

that makes one of us

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Aug 17, 2008 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions  

fucking torrey

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Aug 17, 2008 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm ok being part of that minority

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

Well, now that Willie's down, they can't

rightly spend any time arguing for his having a full-time spot
in the lineup, so you need something to do.

by lyleleander on Aug 17, 2008 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

Well, I think it's time to switch to my Xbox

Because this is niether fun nor exciting. I’m gonna play Braid, I think

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:38 AM PDT reply actions  

That wasn't

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

How could you?

You know what you got yourself into with these guys, as did all of us

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

The question mark makes that comment.

It’s goes from being dangerously close to a foolish statement, to a silly, hopeful question

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

Feierabend is getting better

Span singles on a soft line drive to left fielder Raul Ibanez

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 17, 2008 11:42 AM PDT reply actions  

Pretty soon they'll just be long fly balls

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

It doesn't get any better than this

The M’s are beginning to remind of that classic slogan.

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 11:43 AM PDT reply actions  

That was fancy

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 17, 2008 11:45 AM PDT reply actions  

AHAHAHAHA! I HATE THE MARINERS!

AHAHAHAHA! I HATE KENJI JOHJIMA!

AHAHAHAHA! I HATE THE MARINERS!

AHAHAHAHA! I HATE KENJI JOHJIMA!

AHAHAHAHA! I’VE FINALLY BROKEN. I’VE FLIPPED MY FUCKIN’ BEAN! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! AHAHAHAHAHA!

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:37 PM PDT reply actions  

I didn't pass or fail the bar so much as got my noggin conked by it.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THESE TINY WILLIE BLOOMQUIST ROBOT-ELVES OFF OF MY FACE???

MY SKIN IS MELTING.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

AAAAIIIGH IT BURNS IT BURNS.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

What a strange set of .gifs to collect.

Our TV guys blinking.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

One of Rizzs and one of his rug

Both are individual life forms living symbiotically

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 12:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

This one is weird

how at the start Blowers suddenly jerks back to the right of the gif

The Jose Lopez Watch - 147 H, 17 BB, 39 G Left

by seattlebruin on Aug 18, 2008 8:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Actually, this soothes me.

He always makes me feel better.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sorry, I just need to get that out.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

Actually - my psychotic break notwithstanding - it is pretty funny in a dark, dark way.

What pisses me off the most is that I’m going to see Tropic Thunder with my girlfriend tonight right when the Rays game is beginning, and will be without internet afterwards. Right now the Rays are my only meager baseball consolation.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Exactly.

In between the M’s failing to dump Washburn and the Nats failing to sign Crow, and the continued legendary fail of both teams, I’m wondering why I couldn’t have gotten into football or basketball instead.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hockey is for people with male pattern baldness.

Who’s singing that song at the beginning? Sounds like Dave Matthews.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hockey is for people who fetishize bizarre Canadian rituals.

I consider the entire country to be an informal annex of the US.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

w/r/t beer I agree. w/r/t everything else, including free speech and health care, I disagree.

But oh shit NO POLITICS and let’s close this subthread right here and leave it at that.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

Which group is this?

If it’s Rush, I will somehow find a way to ban you even though that’s impossible in every way I can think of.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

Honey, I walked in late.

Hook me up with the backstory.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

BRMC or Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

Another thing that the three guys who agree on everything agree upon. Except Jeff can’t go to the show in Seattle and so Graham is taunting him, which you will see above.

Finally, some recognition.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Aug 17, 2008 1:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

M's offseason FA contracts/trade moves:

C: Paul LoDuca
LF: Adam Dunn (6 yrs/$80 million)
SS: Miguel Tejada (traded to Astros for Morrow and RRS)
DH: Ibanez (3 yrs/$30 million)

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

5/80?

Actually, the more likely outcome is a shorter K. Something like 3/45.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 12:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sigh

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 12:45 PM PDT reply actions  

Morneau pushed the game out of reach.

Clearly MVP material.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ironically enough, he's putting up a better performance than his "MVP" (note scare quotes) campaign.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

Rauuuuuul

can’t get it!
More adventures in LF

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:06 PM PDT reply actions  

That made me grin.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:06 PM PDT reply actions  

Key difference: global warming is at least somewhat disputed.

Nobody disputes the terrifying consequences of Batista warming.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm not saying that those disputes are justified, just they're out there.

Whereas, can you name a single person on the planet who doesn’t weep in terror at the prospect of Tits coming into a game right now?

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Opposing managers don't count.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

His girlfriend?

My layout.spellcheckDefault goes to 11

by PositivePaul on Aug 18, 2008 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions  

Just stoping in to say

I’ve been watching the game on MLBtv, and I really don’t mind the Twins broadcasting crew, they actually seem to know a little about what their talking about, and aren’t saying as much stupid shit as I usually hear

by mariners124m on Aug 17, 2008 1:11 PM PDT reply actions  

What program do you use for these?

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

gracias!

Sometimes when I’m feeling blue, the Raul on D gifs really cheer me up.

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

You can positively SENSE the pride emanating off of that play.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Just how hot are these Twins?

Too hot if you ask me.

All Games and Comments are Subject to Blackout

by Hit4TheCycle on Aug 17, 2008 1:17 PM PDT reply actions  

I think it's not a train, it's really a yacht.

A leaky yacht.

And the noise it makes is “TOOT TOOT!”

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well, it's baleful *TOOT*

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

*it's A

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yes

for then the runs he brings in with his bat would not be offset by the runs he lets in with his leaden glove

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

Raul is being selfish

he should have just moved the runners along

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:26 PM PDT reply actions  

Don't underestimate his powers

Where there’s a Miguel there’s a way!

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

I can totally see it happening.

Scoreless inning + five run rally + stupid decision to bring him next inning = loss.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Smallest consolation: Jesus catfucking Christ are the Red Sox ever getting spanked.

Screw you, Josh Beckett.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:36 PM PDT reply actions  

Speaking of Beckett, this is weird

Gameday’s data source has his LD% as 18.2%
BIS has his LD% as 24.6%

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 17, 2008 1:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

That's a fairly significant difference.

Wonder what’s going on?

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

One may be all LD and the other may be those not caught?

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

How queer.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Aug 17, 2008 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oscar Wilde takes offense to this statement.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

If somebody would ACTUALLY explain to me how to shrink image sizes (as in WHERE to insert the key phrase in the link) I would happily do so.

As it is, I am pathetically bad at HTML.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

img src?

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

Speaking of which,

can’t you guys program the link to include the html code with the width change?

by Wilder. on Aug 17, 2008 2:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

I just tried it here and failed.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

I did it! WOO!

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

Big difference for Miguel Batista as well

Based on a few people I’ve looked at, BIS has a significantly stricter definition of what counts as a line drive.

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 17, 2008 1:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

OK I'm back.

I bet $48 million on a workhorse that finished dead-last. I’m so boned.

by Teej on Aug 17, 2008 5:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

Huh?

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:45 PM PDT reply actions  

If Yuni draws a walk...

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:47 PM PDT reply actions  

MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HAPPENED

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

Whoa!

Looking outside to check for raining toads

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:48 PM PDT reply actions  

"Mulder, toads just fell from the sky."

[/X-files dork]

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

C'MON GUYZ LET'S GET TITS THE LOSS HERE!

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:51 PM PDT reply actions  

Raul Ibanez three run homer? To put Tits in line for the loss?

Make it happen.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 1:54 PM PDT reply actions  

Two Miguels are better than one

Ahhhhh the bottomless depth on our bench

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 1:55 PM PDT reply actions  

False hope?

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Aug 17, 2008 1:58 PM PDT reply actions  

I want a lead to blow here.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:00 PM PDT reply actions  

Somewhere Red is crying inconsolably

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 2:03 PM PDT reply actions  

WHY LOSING IS A GOOD THING (other than he who must not be named)

Both the Sox and the Twins are 1.5 out of the WC lead behind Boston. Both are winning today while the Sox are getting crushed. If they both hold on and Boston loses, they’re only .5 games up in the WC. Which means The Impossible Dream (both Sox and Yanks out of playoffs) is one step closer to reality.

Think positive, my friends.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:05 PM PDT reply actions  

You can't root for the teams I do without having a remarkably resilient personality.

I usually let it roll off my back, but every now and then it just builds up.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

So J.J. is back to full on sucking now, I guess?

Great.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:14 PM PDT reply actions  

or potential game ending GIDP

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

Damn.

Finally, some recognition.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Aug 17, 2008 2:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Eh, it was borderline

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

....AAAAAND the game improbably limps onwards.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:31 PM PDT reply actions  

Such tittilation!

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 2:31 PM PDT reply actions  

Not with a bang, but with a whimper

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall."

by esoteric on Aug 17, 2008 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

Damn!

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 2:32 PM PDT reply actions  

A moral victory

They showed grit, pride, heart, desire, 110% effort, determination, insert cliches and platitudes…….
Bloomquistism

"When I'm a evaluating a player the first three things I look at are: Character, character, and character."
-Charles Armstrong esq.

by Big Jared on Aug 17, 2008 2:34 PM PDT reply actions  

Jeeez...

10-game losing steak for the Nationals? Lame.

by ThundaPC on Aug 17, 2008 4:29 PM PDT reply actions  

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