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Semi-inspired by Jeff's "White Chicks" post

Tiny by brick Royl on Comment 213 comments

As Jeff will know, my friends and I have an intermittently occurring series of get-togethers aptly titled "Bad Movie Night". The rules, as best we can figure, entail getting buzzed... walking to Blockbuster... finding the worst major-release they have... and exponentially increasing our blood-alcohol contents while watching said cinematic catastrophe. So far, we've seen You Got Served and Soul Plane (which sort of killed it for us... how do you ever hope to beat that!?)... and then after a hiatus, we made a brief foray into the OnDemand world to watch Zombie Strippers, a Jenna Jameson production which is neither a major release nor -- surprisingly enough -- a porno. Just a bad bad mercilessly bad film (though Soul Plane was worse).

 

While discussing Jeff's "fictional" post with a friend yesterday, she advised me never to see White Chicks. To which I instantly replied, "well, now I pretty much have to." Which took me on a tangent to "which do you think is worse, White Chicks or The Hot Chick?" (the Rob Schneider Holocaust for the Soul). So we decided we should resurrect Bad Movie Night and find out.

 

Brought the topic up again in the office. Co-worker threw in The Hottie and the Nottie, by the Second Coming of Alfred Hitchcock Paris Hilton, but he immediately stipulated that "it wouldn't really be fair to categorize that with any other movie... except maybe Glitter." So guess what our second pairing will be.

 

And just for kicks, I toss Biodome into the ring.

 

Someone is going to die. Whether it's from alcohol poisoning or physical assault as elicited by these Silver Screen abortions is anyone's guess. Now taking bets...

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You Got Served was so fucking funny.

The part where the main dude is trying to “train” and his knee is fucked up had me on the floor. Somehow the director made it seem as though the guy was like LT trying to play on a broken leg, the way he cringed and tried to fight through it. Fantasic unintentional comedy.

Also the fact that people actually do have dance-offs like the ones in movies saddens me.

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 10:48 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WIN

I could pair that with Biodome..

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 11:00 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

When I worked at a video store I did Bad Movie Night once a month

The biggest hit was the night I did the double feature of Ed and Dunston Checks In; another memorable one was the can’t-miss double feature of Cool As Ice and DC Cab.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 10:54 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Not familiar

with the last two, but the first could be great. Maybe we should add Most Valuable Primate since we’re all hockey fans… but that may make us sick, rather than jovial.

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 10:59 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Cool as Ice" was pretty damn amazing

and by amazing I mean horrifying. Let me set the scene. When the movie starts, we see our hero, Vanilla Ice, riding his crazy fast motorcycle with his crazy motorcycle buddies, wearing all sorts of early-90’s bright colored leathers and whatnot. They ride by this house that has all sorts of lawn gnomes, windmills, and other stupid lawn ephemera in the front yard; Mr. Ice and the boys stop their motorcycles, Ice removes his helmet (giving us a shot of a glorious, mulletish haircut), looks at his friends, and says

“YO…WHAT’S UP WITH THE CRAZY WACK HOUSE?”

and it just gets better from there.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 11:03 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sounds like my list is getting longer.

And that doesn’t bother me in the least. Where’s the beer??

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 11:14 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It seems wrong to judge kids' movies on the same scale, though, doesn't it?

It’s so much more tragic when the movie is intended for adults.

Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?

by The Alaskan on Aug 1, 2008 12:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Others to consider

Spice World
Gymkata
Howard the Duck
Wing Commander

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 11:34 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Spice World

pairs well with Hottie and Glitter... and Justin to Kelly for that matter.

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 11:42 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Spice World isn't nearly that bad.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Umm....

You actually watched that movie? Why in the world would you do such a thing?

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Aug 1, 2008 4:16 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I saw it in theatres when it came out.

I was 23.

14 year old girls made fun of me (and a buddy who was also there) is remarkably lascivious language. I was both impressed and disturbed.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:28 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It may be too obvious, but Gigli is wonderful

I also recommend The Marine.

It’s not a major studio release, but check out Manos: the Hand of Fate.

by katal on Aug 1, 2008 11:37 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Manos: the Hand of Fate

Great MST3K flick. But Mitchell was better.

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 11:41 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's old meme to cite this bad movie

But if you haven’t seen Plan 9 From Outer Space before, see it at least once with friends.

by Gomez on Aug 1, 2008 11:42 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

the Marine is a great choice.

Terrible acting, lots of explosions, some totally implausible shit, John Cena.

I saw it on HBo a few weeks ago. It is a perfect drunk terrible movie

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 11:42 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Marine was hilarious...

The scene where Cena shields himself from a hail of gunfire by PICKING UP AND HOLDING a standard-issue vest is something I couldn’t stop laughing at.

by Devin on Aug 3, 2008 1:34 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Volcano

The plot makes about as much sense as the M’s front office.

by Gomez on Aug 1, 2008 11:41 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

When Independance Day came out on VHS there was a preview for Volcano

that scared the shit out of me. Then I finally saw it a couple of weeks ago. Absolutely retarded.

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 11:43 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh

This may be heresy, but Pride of the Yankees, starring Gary Cooper and Babe Ruth, is often ridiculous.

by katal on Aug 1, 2008 11:44 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Most of the movie itself was fine

but the end of Rookie of the Year is as retarded as it gets.

by Gomez on Aug 1, 2008 11:45 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I hate hate hate HATE Rookie of the Year

So the club is in last place? And the kid is a pitcher? How the hell can a starting pitcher completely turn the team around and get them to win the World Series? Does he pitch every day?

Besides, he throws a fastball. That’s it. MLB players tee off on fastballs. How is he getting them out?

BAH

by katal on Aug 1, 2008 11:49 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Also, I think they only clock him at like 101 or so.

Fast, but it’s not like Joel Zumaya is unhittable.

Also, i loved how the kid went from ZERO control to pinpoint accuracy in like 1 game.

to point #1: LOL TEAM CHEMISTRY

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 11:54 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sad. I love that movie.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 11:55 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I enjoy the complete suspension of belief.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 12:06 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh, no question it's a fun movie to watch.

But after seeing it you have to laugh at the some of the shit.

Also, Gary Busey as an MLB pitcher

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 12:11 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Throw 'em the HIGH, STINKY CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:15 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Even so, he would have a tiny affect on the team.

They were the worst team in the league for a reason, it’s not like he will make the starters and hitters do better.

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 1:11 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

An absolute must for this

is Jenny McCarthy’s film Dirty Love. It won some razzies, but is actually surprisingly fun to watch (especially when drunk.)

TOUCH MY BASS!

by johnbai on Aug 1, 2008 11:44 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Movies that should be "excluded" from consideration

I Come In Peace
Countryman
They Live
Hell comes to Frogtown.
Any Toxic Avenger movie

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 11:47 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

CONSUME

They Live was a fantastic popcorn flick.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Aug 2, 2008 5:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ho in God's name has no one mentioned Crossroads?

Some others:

the Guardian
Basic Instinct 2
Maximum Overdrive (which I actually love)

And if you’re going the camp classic route, anything Coffin Joe is great, specifically This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse. Coffin Joe’s movies are undeniably bad in just about every way possible, but they’re also undeniably genius. He’s like a significantly more morbid version of Ed Wood.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 12:15 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I actually kinda liked The Guardian

It’s very cheesy, but I didn’t think it was nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 12:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sela Ward as wife of emotionally distant husband.

Holy typecast.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:15 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Shhhh.

Don’t mention that movie, you’ll summon LFOJL.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 12:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

We're LFoJL free for a couple weeks.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 12:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

YES!!!!

We can talk about movies in peace.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 12:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

He'd be great at this conversation though.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 12:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You should add Hercules in New York to your list

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Hercules with another actor’s voice dubbed in. It just doesn’t get any worse than this.

by Man From Nantucket on Aug 1, 2008 12:15 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That movie was an obsession as a kid.

I still make it a point to watch once a year.

In that vein, the Puppet Master movies were almost as good.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 12:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Fail.

Not a major release. Even though I have seen it.

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 12:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Killer Klowns was not a major release?

I thought I saw that in the theater, hmmmm.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 12:52 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Cool as Ice was?

I remember KKfOS being in the theaters near me (empty theaters then, but normally full). I never remember Cool as Ice being in a theater.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 12:53 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Definitely a major release

It’s even in my sig.

What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?

by rickpo on Aug 1, 2008 2:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ishtar

Warren Beaty (Rogers) and Dustin Hoffman (Clarke). Awful awful movie.

Here is a sampling of dialogue.

Chuck Clarke :You mean you bought a camel?
Lyle Rogers: No, I didn’t really buy it. They SOLD it to me!
Lyle Rogers: Oh no. I think that something went wrong and now I own a blind camel. A blind camel!

by Ben in Va on Aug 1, 2008 12:44 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ishtar is not that bad!

It bombed, but it’s the awful movie people remember it as.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 2:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Is there supposed to be a 'not' in there?

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 2:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'd have to agree with acblue

in no way is Ishtar a slice of filmgoing genius, but it’s just a run-of-the-mill not so great movie, not the complete trainwreck it’s become in most people’s minds.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 2:25 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yep. It was way too ambitious.

It has a lot of flaws, but people remember it as being worse than it actually is because it bombed so terribly.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 2:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

His JItis is back.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 2:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Course not.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 2:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I didn't finish these, they were so bad. Maybe if were drunk...

They’re a natural pair, too:

Mr. Write (1994), “starring” Paul Reiser. My girlfriend and I rented this, watched 15 minutes, and had to stop. And I’m one of those guys who pretty much has to watch to the end.

Mr. Wrong (1996), “starring” Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman. Same girlfriend, this time at the theater. Actually may have seen to the end, but fortunately blocked it out.

Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?

by The Alaskan on Aug 1, 2008 12:52 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Also, I saw 5 minutes of Double Dragon on cable last night.

Street Fighter might pair up well.

Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?

by The Alaskan on Aug 1, 2008 12:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dude, but Kylie Minogue played Cammy in that movie.

Want to touch the heiny…

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:05 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A lot of hot chicks were in really horrible movies.

Jessica Alba was in Never Been Kissed, but I would rather fast forward through all the other scenes.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 1:16 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

*Jessica Alba was in [every movie she has ever been in].

Horrible actress who is gorgeous but is in stinker after stinker after stinker

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 1:25 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I didn't mind Sin City.

Probably because it was not the [coathanger] I thought it was going to be.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 1:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I loved Sin City.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I was just expecting it to be so bad I wouldn't be able to sit through it.

When it wasn’t, I didn’t know how to take it. If I ever see it again, I’ll probably have a better idea whether I actually like it or not.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 1:28 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh Sin City was awesome...

I mean any movie she’s a lead in is terrible (Good Luck Chuck, The Eye, etc)

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 3:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

He's great in "Aliens".

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Kids (1995)

has got to be one of the worse movies of all times.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 12:56 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh man I hate Larry Clark so much.

All of that Von Trier inspired stuff makes me want to scream.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 2:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Lars Von Trier is pretty much my least favorite director.

“I’m going to invent a philosophy of film and call anything that doesn’t adhere to its rules garbage, but then proceed to break every single one of the arbitrary rules I created!”

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 2:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Spoken like... me

Which isn’t all that surprising, I guess.

“Festen” was OK, but hey, NOT a Von Trier movie!

by marc w on Aug 1, 2008 10:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My two (both star Saffron Burroughs):

1. Deep Blue Sea
2. Wing Commander

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:02 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

DPS Seriously??

LL Cool J being scared was funny sh*t.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 1:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

For about 5 minutes it was funny.

Then it just got old.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark's fin

Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y’all don’t cross my depths
I’ll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world’s deep blue
Killers gotta eat too

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 1:16 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My girlfriend bought the DVD.

She loves giant animal movies.

Anaconda
Anacondas
Python (starring Wil Wheaton)
Lake Placid

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:17 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Python is hilariously bad.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 4, 2008 8:28 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

For my own amusement

I would scream LL Cool J rap lyrics at the TV while the shark was chasing him.

by Gomez on Aug 1, 2008 1:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Still till this day

I cannot even think about LL Cool without that stupid ass song popping up in my head.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 1, 2008 1:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh, god that movie was bad.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

speaking of which

The Mask 2.

I remember seeing Alan Rickman on the Daily Show the night before the film was being released, in order to promote it. During his conversation with John Stewart, the movie was never mentioned once.

by katal on Aug 1, 2008 1:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Live Free or Die Hard.

I watched this drunk with some friends last weekend. It is the least plausible movie I have seen in a long time; almost every line is cliched as well. But again, explosions, John McLane, guns.

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Aug 1, 2008 1:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I watched this movie completely intoxicated

and I remember NOTHING from it.

Usually I can remember SOMETHING, but the stuff I remember is the scenes that were in the preview.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I just watched this movie

ugh Mac guy annoyed the shit out of me, and McClane toning down his language sucked.

The best part was seeing USC stand in as Rutgers and laughing when McClane’s daughter goes to her dorm which is in reality a library.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on Aug 1, 2008 2:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Speaking of intentionally (in some cases) horrible movies,

what does the majority of LL think of Snakes on a Plane? I couldn’t make it through it.

by Faux on Aug 1, 2008 1:18 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I thought it was genius.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Opening night.

It was killer.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:21 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Seconded.

We had a guy in a Big Bird mask standing up before the previews, leading the crowd in chants. “SNAKES!”, he’d yell. “ON A PLANE!!”, we’d most feverishly reply.

Also, hearing beer bottles roll down the aisles all movie long was a hoot.

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 11:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Took me two days to watch it

and I really got tired of Samuel L. Jackson. Which is saying something, because I usually really like him – but his character was nothing but SAMUEL L JACKSON BADASS MOFO IN YOUR FACE BITCHES and that got old really, really fast.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 1:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Speaking of songs that get stuck in your head after movie.

Oh, oh, come on bring it.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 1:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I bought the album (At Goodwill) so I could have that song.

It’s great in the worst possible way.

Ladies and gentlemen / the snakes are slitherin' / with dollar signs in they eyes / with tongues so reptilian / this industry's venemous with cold-blooded cinnamon / no need for nervouseness / it's just a little turbulence

Seriously. What the hell is that?

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 1, 2008 2:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

well that didn't work

with tongues so reptilian / this industry’s venemous / with cold-blooded cinnamon / no need for nervousness / it’s just a little turbulence

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 1, 2008 2:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The song is quite fun live, actually.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 2:11 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hell yes.

They sold out the last two times they were here.
Fangs up!

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 2:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

They played Vancouver.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Cold-blooded cinnamon?

Does this mean something to people-who-should-get-off-my-lawn, or was it just something the rhyming dictionary spit out?

by marc w on Aug 1, 2008 2:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As a person who should get off your lawn, I think it's just something the rhyming dictionary spat out.

but maybe there are people who need to get off my parent’s lawn who’ll know what it means.

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 1, 2008 2:32 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

APPARENTLY

they really mean to say “sentiments,” not “cinnamon.” At last, that’s someone’s interpretation on youtube.

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Aug 1, 2008 3:51 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Jack Frost

My buddy and I rented it when we were in middle school, hoping that it would have some boobs in it. Instead, we were treated to one of the most ridiculous movies that I have ever seen. Trailer

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:20 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wasn't there another Jack Frost movie that had Michael Keaton in it?

And it was a wholesome family movie about a snowman?

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yep.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, there was

It just added to the legend of the old one. I remember seeing the Keaton one on the shelf at Hollywood Video and was amazed that they bothered to remake the movie, before I picked it up and saw what it was about

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:25 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That movie looks fantastic, btw.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Aug 1, 2008 1:29 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It really is

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Was it a 'major release' whatever that means?

Sooo many possibilities for this genre, but I don’t think any would qualify.

by marc w on Aug 1, 2008 1:43 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It was out enough to be sitting on the new release shelf at Blockbuster Video 10 or so years ago

I still see it when I wander past the Horror section at the movie stores

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:45 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The 'new releases' shelf seems to include 12,356 horror movies

that never saw theatrical release.

I mean, I’m with you- you can find ‘Jack Frost’ anywhere, so that would meet my definition of ‘major release’ but in terms of being released theatrically on 2,000 screen or whatever, probably not.

by marc w on Aug 1, 2008 2:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I hope it wasn't on screens

Because holy shit what a waste of money

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 2:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No, no..

I remember the ads. It was a major release, most tragically.

David Ortiz > God

by brick Royl on Aug 1, 2008 11:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Jack Frost 2:

Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

Such a badass tagline

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Also, just came across this one

Code of the Dragon
I don’t know how easy this will be to find, but holy WOW

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Aug 1, 2008 1:43 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Catwoman

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
Freddy Got Fingered
Cube
A Night at the Roxbury

and, of course
Mortal Kombat

--Dave
Addicted to Quack, SBN's Oregon Ducks blog

by Addicted to Quack on Aug 1, 2008 1:47 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gerry

Gus Van Sant directs Casey Affleck and Matt Damon walking through the desert for an hour and half. Almost no dialog, but lots of deep, semi homo-erotic, passive aggressive looks between the actors, while a piano plays slowly.

A representative sampling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NV-lCSGJyA&feature=related

by MtGrizzly on Aug 1, 2008 2:12 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

So that one needs to be paired with Good Will Hunting.

Or just go with Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society for a inspiring Robin Williams night.

by Jed MC on Aug 1, 2008 2:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Don't forget Patch Adams.

I would do cartwheels over my name written in sand

by NOLAmarinergirl on Aug 1, 2008 2:27 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I've been trying to forget Patch Adams since the day it came out.

Because that was the day that I officially realized that Robin Williams was no longer funny, and it even made me question whether he was ever actually funny in the first place.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 2:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Cronenberg version.

I have to agree.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Cronenberg version is awesome.

The new one is everything I hate about Hollywood message movies wrapped up into one two hour block of garbage.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 5:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, I was talking about the Paul Haggis film.

I find it offensive how pandering and simplistic that piece of shit was. One of the few movies that have ever made me truly angry.

Ludacris: “I can’t believe those white people are looking at us like we’re going to steal their car.”
Other guy: “Yeah, that’s racist!”
Ludacris: “Let’s steal their car!”

I’ve never seen the Cronenberg movie. I started to read the book but never finished it.

by Teej on Aug 1, 2008 5:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's Cronenbergian.

You like it or hate it. No real middle ground with that guy.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 1, 2008 7:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's EXTRA Cronenbergian.

Might I recommend something more accessible first? Like Videodrome?

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 2, 2008 11:06 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm not sure if I'd call Videodrome more accessible than Crash.

A History of Violence is probably his most accessible film, followed by Eastern Promises and probably the Fly.

Although, those are also his least Cronenbergian films, so I guess Videodrome would be his most accessible auteur sort of film.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Aug 2, 2008 12:18 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You simply must see Rubin and Ed

with Crispin Glover.

“My cat can eat a whole watermelon.”

by kevin_ess on Aug 1, 2008 2:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's no Willard

but Rubin and Ed is definitely…interesting.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 2:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, I happen to love the guy.

I met him about ten years ago. He is that weird in person.

by kevin_ess on Aug 1, 2008 3:01 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The woman that makes my suits

also has made a few suits for him. The last time I picked one up he had one waiting for him – an entirely red velvet number, which was pretty dang impressive.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 1, 2008 3:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You ate the entire wheel of cheese?

No I’m not angry, I’m impressed!

I'm back to liking midgets too much.

by Thingray on Aug 1, 2008 2:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You should probably just go to

www.badmovies.org

And start with A and work you way down the list.

I’ve seen more movies from this site than the IMDB.com top 100.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on Aug 1, 2008 2:39 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It doesn't list the House of Mirth

It is therefore inadequate.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Surf Ninjas Must Die

That’s probably the worst movie I’ve seen. It was worse than Beach Babes from Beyond.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 1, 2008 4:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hmmm.

I’m not sure what is classified as a “Major release” but my buddies and me did this ~20 years ago while in high school.

The movie we unanimously agreed was the worst ever? Revenge of the Cheerleaders.

We watched a metric f-ton of horrible movies. This one by far takes the moldy cake.

As an added bonus, it was the motion picture debut of none other than David Hasselhoff…

My layout.spellcheckDefault goes to 11

by PositivePaul on Aug 1, 2008 4:20 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone

Starring Molly Ringwold.

Alternately, the Tawny Kitaen vehicle The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of Yik Yak.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Aug 2, 2008 11:09 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nothing but Trouble

Worst. Movie. Ever. Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, John Candy, and Dan Akroyd in a movie so bad, it literally made me question blinding myself. If I ever meet any of the surving actors they get a slap in the face, and I am convinced this film kept John Candy out of heaven.

by thewyrm on Aug 1, 2008 11:45 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I am writing this on a braille keyboard

because after watching “Taxi,” the Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah vehicle, I had no choice but to rinse my eyeballs with battery acid.

by Eazy E on Aug 2, 2008 10:39 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Need more Sharon Stone!

“King Solomon’s Mine”. Richard Chamberlain lead in an ‘action/adventure’ movie? Are you fucking kidding me?

“Action Jackson”. Carl Weathers as Jericho ‘Action’ Jackson. There were so many cheesy lines in this movie I just bumped it to the top of the queue.

by dpseadv on Aug 3, 2008 10:36 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sorry

At the time (1988) any movie with Vanity in it gets a free pass.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Aug 4, 2008 12:21 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Failure to Launch

Slumber party massacre 4

by Robert on Aug 4, 2008 3:40 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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