Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

35-55

Oftentimes people will ask me if it's possible to have a game in which not a single Mariner player makes a positive WPA contribution. The answer? Indeed it is. And such a game would look an awful lot like tonight's.

This one didn't quite fit the bill - Carlos Silva managed to spare us the indignity. But it was close. In fact, all Silva would've had to do is allow Carlos Gonzalez to take him yard in the first inning, and we would've been set. No Mariner would've finished in the black, and Miguel Cairo would've made the biggest contribution with something negative (since his 6th inning single would have made less of an impact). So, yeah. That's how pathetic this was. Justin Duchscherer is due for some staggering regression, but it just isn't going to come against a lineup this terrible. Statistical inevitability has nothing on the awesome power of bad. That Jose Vidro has now batted cleanup in eight different games is a fact due to which I will forever blame 2008 for raping me of my innocence.

7_8_08_medium

Biggest Contribution: Carlos Silva, +6.6%
Biggest Suckfest: Ichiro, -14.1%
Most Important AB: Suzuki error, +6.3%
Most Important Pitch: Brown single, -8.5%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +6.6%
Total Contribution by Lineup: -65.4%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +8.8%
(What is this chart?)

No bullet points tonight. It's not even possible. The game only lasted 109 minutes and not a single damn thing ever happened. So instead I will direct you to an official Pravda article with quite possibly the most confusing headline I've ever seen. Every other Friday Jim Street must just laugh his way to the bank.

Miguel Batista makes his long-awaited return to the rotation tomorrow night. I hope you enjoyed being finished by nine this time, because soon enough it will be little more than a distant memory.

Comment 92 comments  |  0 recs  | 

Do you like this story?

Comments

Display:

See what CC started by dropping the periods?

by JI on Jul 8, 2008 10:51 PM PDT reply actions  

Greasy McQuarter-pounder in the post game:
“Five innings, 100 pitches, that’s not me,’’ Silva said.

So, is he just an asshole, or was he baited by a reporter?

by BrianL on Jul 8, 2008 10:52 PM PDT reply actions  

Jesus Christ how is Jim Street...

ugh. That’s not even remotely a story

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Jul 8, 2008 11:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Editorial department

I’m total failure as an English major.

by Frosty Raptor on Jul 8, 2008 11:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

I was thoroughly entertained and informed...

That Street’s a moron.

At least we don't have Zito's contract.

by ColeFitz on Jul 8, 2008 11:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

I mean if I were to try to turn something like that into a college journalism class

I’d probably get a C- with the comment “pointless drivel” at the bottom

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Jul 8, 2008 11:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

I mean it's not like his normal stuff

where it may be horribly thought out and misinformed but at least appears slightly substantial to the naked eye.

This isn’t even slightly substantial

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on Jul 8, 2008 11:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

Also, "rabid" and "Ra the God of the sun" don't make the same sound

and the word “aura” is pronounced “or-ah” more so that “ah-ra…”

That was bad. Really really really bad

by seattlebruin on Jul 9, 2008 12:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

Coach!

you know, things may have actually got worse here after you stopped posting.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Jul 9, 2008 6:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

And deflate them even more?

my goal is to get a rec from Jeff or pdb

by seattlebruin on Jul 9, 2008 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

I'm very, very stingy

but don’t equate scarcity with value in my case. I’m mostly just lazy.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jul 9, 2008 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yet it doesn't appear that Robert was really that convincing:

Coach wrote:
at 4:48pm yesterday
I’m not an idiot, Robert. I know nothing good (for me at least) will come out of me coming back.

Robert actually learned stalking skills from me.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 9, 2008 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

I have a hilarious MS Paint idea that I can't make because I'm at work/can't upload =(

35 flesh eating ponies surrounding a stock Radio Shack image with Kirk/Picard in the middle and “ISSAQUAH” in red across the front of the store

by seattlebruin on Jul 9, 2008 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions  

DRaysbay has been unsuccessfully

trying to trade for you Coach! Can we work out a deal?

Tools Whore

Sign Bonds!

by Tyler on Jul 12, 2008 12:17 AM PDT up reply actions  

I dedicated our entire set to Adrian Beltre tonight.

We were totally on our game, and the jams were awesome, and shit was going great, but I swear to God, every time we stretched a little too far, and success was dependent upon our being on the same page and the notes coming together in the right spots, we fell apart. It was insane.

I don’t know if I can adequately describe it to people who haven’t ever been in an improvisational band, but for us, normally these things turn out well. Tonight, they didn’t. And what was funny was that at the end of the night,all the other bands and the rest of the musically inclined people in the audience congratulated us (genuinely) on a great set, while our friends that tend to like us but aren’t well versed in the performance of music we’re much more solemn and less congratulatory. It was musically the equivalent of Adrian Beltre’s 2008, and the shit kinda’ freaked me out.

by Aaron Campeau on Jul 9, 2008 2:28 AM PDT reply actions  

Douche's season this year reminds me so much of the Bronson's first in Cincy.

I remember how pissed off Boston fans were when he posted a sub-3.00 ERA for the first half and finished… actually I have no idea how he finished because I don’t care. Point is, they strike me as pretty similar pitchers – about average K rate (Bronson’s is better), about average control (Duchscherer’s is better), crappy stuff, over 30.

And looking into it more, the ‘Keys to the Game’ on both cases are the same – a silly 78% strand rate. Also, Douche is running a .219 BABIP on 20% LD. Come to think of it, now would be an awesome time to trade the guy for someone good.

by Bearskin Rugburn on Jul 9, 2008 6:24 AM PDT reply actions  

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

By reading a game thread of your own volition you agree to accept all liability for any and all damage done to your delicate sensibilities.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

Moar_bacon_small
Everything I Know About Jesus Montero

Recent FanPosts

Wbc_029_small
Friday Morning Music Thread
Small
OTDOD - Early February Edition
Agentejebaox3_small
A Statistical Analysis of Mariners' Fan Support
Small
Who will have a better season?
Claw_small
BA's Top 10 M's Prospects
Wbc_029_small
Friday Morning Music Thread
Small
Munenori Kawasaki Predictions!!!
Small
The Longevity and Future Success of Felix Hernandez.
Small
The present vs future conundrum

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >


Sexy People

Wbc_029_small Jeff Sullivan

Small Matthew