7/19: Open Game Thread
Cleveland Indians at Seattle Mariners, Jul 19, 2008 12:55 PM PDT
Rather than acknowledging Miguel Batista any more than I already am with this sentence, I'm just going to point out that, over his last six starts, Felix has allowed nine line drives. Nine. That's under ten percent. Over the same span he's struck out 40 batters against a measly nine walks. The man has been pitching just about as well as he ever has in his career.
I love you, Felix.
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Oh boy...80's day.
I don’t mind the uniforms or idea of throwbacks so much as I mind all the damn people who show up just to show off their 80s gear. Booooo
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
As a side note to that,
I think all throwback days should be televised. Especially when Tits is pitching, because then at least something entertaining can be seen.
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 12:48 PM PDT up reply actions
I think they should just replay Felix starts during Tits starts
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions
But they would probably have to do them two at a time
Since Tits takes so long
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions
When I saw Dr. Manhattan in the trailer
I was reminded of Felix.
Clement starting against a lefty? Unpossible
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 11:56 AM PDT reply actions
I really don't understand anything about the thought process of this club.
If they can’t hit lefties so you sit Lahair and Clement yesterday, what has changed that conclusion for today?
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Jul 19, 2008 12:00 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm missing why Reed is sitting
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Trying to figure this club out is like trying to understand a deaf-mute explain quantum physics.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Jul 19, 2008 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions
It was mentioned in the media
that with 4 LHP in a row Riggleman was going to play some lefties against lefties to avoid having guys sit for over a week, when you count the ASB.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Perhaps they'll do something crazier soon, not like bat Vidro 4th.
Or even release him.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:56 PM PDT up reply actions
He's batting 6th at the expense of Bloomquist batting 2nd
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 12:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Bloomquist with more OBP isn't completely crazy batting second.
Theoretically, high obp/high speed in the order isn’t awful (though Bloomquist is still pretty terrible, on any decent team he bats ninth on alternate Tuesdays as a 25th man).
It’s playing Vidro or Cairo AT ALL that’s mind-bogglingly dumb.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions
I was going to go to this game.
Then I realized it’s kind of hard to do that when someone slashes the tires on your car.
Did they take anything?
What’s the point in slashing tires or keying a car?
Doesn’t make any sense to me.
That's what gets me.
All they did was slash my tires. At least make the vandalism worth while you twats.
It's a victimless crime.
Like punching someone in the dark.
You were going to go to a Miguel Batista start
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 12:32 PM PDT up reply actions
So, basically, they did you a favor?
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions
The joke goes:
I left 4 Mariner tickets in the front seat of my car. I came back, my window was broken, my car radio was gone, and I had 8 Mariner tickets in the front seat of my car…
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hahaha
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions
You can find the same quality at Walmart and it's cheaper
If you’re going to shop at a shit store you may as well spend less.
And get Ebola
The Walmart in Renton is like a third world street market. Bad news
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 1:16 PM PDT up reply actions
The closest Wal-Mart is 45 minutes away
and I would rather have my nuts in a vise than ever shop at a Wal-Mart.
Also, there’s no reason to have yet another Wal-Mart is good/bad discussion. It’s just not an option for me.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Tits as reliever: 1-2, 4.70 ERA
That answer your question?
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:49 PM PDT up reply actions
How the hell did Tits get enough starts as a starter to go 3-8?
It feels like we pulled him out of the rotation ages ago.
His splits say 15 starts
Thanks for staying gritty through your injury, Tits. Also: thanks, Mariner management, for letting veterans “pitch (badly) through pain”.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 12:55 PM PDT up reply actions
For some reason it's blacked out for me
and I don’t feel like reinstalling le proxy
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 1:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Hey! YuBet has finally earned his quotes
He’s growing up so fast
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 1:07 PM PDT reply actions
The worse involves Carlos Beltran
That’s bad.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Slashed tires?
I already crashed on Wednesday.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Not a Curb Your Enthusiasm fan, I take it.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions
DVD?
It’s a fantastically awesome show.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
But I wouldn't have to follow the game right?
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions
It will be in a few days
but you’d still have cancer.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions
But I wouldn't have to follow the season right?
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions
So it's decided
We are to envy cancer patients.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Or get a Apple IIe emulaulator.
That’s why I did, and that game is just as good as I remember.
Did anyone ever play “Freedom”? Same type of game, developed by MECC, but you play as a slave escaping to the North? It was a really fucking cool game that lasted ~2 months at my school before a parent’s group complained.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions
I was invited to a beer festival tomorrow but chose this instead
I feel guilty if I miss too many games. >:(
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
What kind of moron decides to go out on Felix Day?
I’m retarded.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions
You're not smarter than a retarded child
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions
You need to arrange your schedule better.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 1:47 PM PDT up reply actions
I only wear my contacts on days that I wear hats.
Because I don’t like the combo of hat and glasses.
I'm still thinking about it
You make a persuasive argument.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Someone was overdressed for the occasion
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Matt?
I’m pretty sure you and I were wearing the exact same thing. Damn glasses put me over the top.
You think you're better than me?
I haven’t heard from Matt today…
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions
loldumb
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
It could be worse...
I’m at work, and since it’s kinda slow here I’m voluntarily sitting through this instead of generating some business
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions
I bet 50 bucks the M's would lose today.
The site actually favored the Indians! Easiest bet I’ve ever made.
Reverse jinx now because my luck goes like that right?
That's usually how it works for me in Vegas
I finally gave up and bet wins and losses over the season.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions
It's a good thing Tits is feeling better
Because I shudder to think what the score would be if he was playing hurt
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
I actually get some joy out of seeing Batista blow up...it's what I expect. If he did well I wouldn't know how to react.
I fucking hate you Mariners
K MACHINE
HE LITERALLY INVENTED THE STRIKEOUT
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
Have you heard the raio commercials
that go on and on about how Budweiser is a real man’s beer because it doesn’t taste like pssh CHOCOLATE?
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions
That's the line that put me over the top.
Fuck Budweiser.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Soon to be owned by the fine folks that brought you
Hoegaarden, Leffe and Stella Artois!
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions
One and a half more years of this shit?
I’m sure the Mariners could find a more productive place for Batista. Like the guy who sorts and washes jockstraps.
So I heard bad things about yesterday's game thread
We may have some retroactive punishments coming up. I haven’t read it yet.
Also brought up religion as a bait tactic.
General Corco assholishness.
The game thread was fine up until 9:14 or so, save for one or two people acting like total dicks.
Soon as Felix left things went south.
I am paying more attention to that thread than this one right now
That is a Felix thread.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions
My favorite M’s player? Scott Spiezio.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on Jul 18, 2008 7:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions 0 recs
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I'll save you some time
I said you, Matt, and Graham were doody heads.
I said stats are for fags.
I said tRA is for people who do not understand the true value of ERA.
Of course this was all in good fun.
I seem to recall saying something nice about Player A and poutine.
I’m deeply, deeply ashamed of both.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Yeah, that might actually have been worse.
I do also recall some limeybaiting on my part. But then that’s obviously borne of jealousy. Damn Brits with their sexually irresistible accents. I hate watching them romp through coeds.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Thanks for pitching, Gritty Beluga Tits.
Now, can we have your groin fall off so you can go on the DL for the rest of the year?
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 1:13 PM PDT reply actions
In case anyone missed this from yesterday, or the thread earlier today:
I fucking hate you Mariners
I REITERATE: that is the funniest error I have seen all season.
My god, Manny is falling apart.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
He'll no doubt catch a lot of shit for it
but his reaction after the play is fantastic.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions
I like how he acts like he has ants in his pants after he rolls on top of the baseball
And holy fuck I just wrote “as he rolls on top of the baseball” while speaking about a Professional Major League Baseball Player…
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
After the game he beat the ballboy with a sock filled with a bar of soap.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
I like how Ellsbury was going to reach between his legs to get the ball.
I fucking hate you Mariners
That's a place that no man ever wants to go, but the situation was so desperate that Ellsbury was willing to try.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Motherfucker I have only a few players I want to do well on this team
Why do they have to do this to me?
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 1:23 PM PDT reply actions
Your boy JoLo hit a home run last night.
WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU, HUH?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
My life essentially ended upon graduation from law school.
It’s BAR EXAM -> BIGLAW -> EARLY DEATH FROM STRESS from here on out.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Confused....
Any reason FOX is showing the stinking Red Sox Angels game? I was planning on taking in the Batista collapse all afternoon today and can’t find the game on Seattle Comcast…...? Am I doing something wrong? Can someone help me?
You're not going to find it on TV.
Proxy that shit, son.
I remember this show only because of its proximity to showings of Mystery Science Theater 3000 back during its Comedy Central golden age.
I’d watch it on Sunday mornings as I waited for MST to come on. It was pretty good.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Even Tits can strike out Andy Marte
Has any super-prospect in recent memory fizzled so badly?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
No, I think 1990's too long ago. Almost 20 years at this point.
I was mentally drawing the cutoff at somewhere around 1998 or so.
But Rivera stealing Jeter’s glove and selling it was definitely an awesomely low nadir. And that did happen pretty recently. 2002 or something, right?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
I just checked out wikipedia. My god I would love to see this baserunning error they're talking about.
I’m gonna check to see if it’s in MLB’s archives.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Seriously, can you help me? I tried going to the Giants "Top Play" archives and it only goes back to 2005.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Oh never mind.
I thought we were talking about Manny’s error last night.
Dammit, it's not on the Giants' site.
In the news section there’s an article about it saying it’s destined to be memorialized on videotape forever…AND THERE’S NO FREAKIN’ VIDEO.
Such injustice.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Good job finding it on YouTube, too. I didn't even bother to search there since MLB is so Nazi about keeping clips off the site.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Do you have the DownloadHelper plugin installed on your firefox browser?
I’d use that to save that clip to your hard drive if I were you.
I wish we had Sal Fasano on our team... or at least his facial hair

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 1:29 PM PDT reply actions
Don't you mean...
My dream player soulmate?
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions
saved.
"Holy Shit, It's Steve Perry lead singer of Journey". "ha, FORMER Lead Singer."
by RafaelCarmona22 on Jul 19, 2008 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions
Q: ARE WE NOT HUNGRY?
A: WE ARE TURBO.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on Jul 19, 2008 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He does have the whole 'de-evolution' thing down pretty well.
Also, those guys are all really, really fat now.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Do you realize that one of the members of Devo co-wrote Neil Young's "Hey Hey, My My (Into The Black)"?
The odd thing is, the guy (Blackburn) isn’t given credit for co-writing the first half of the bookend, “My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue).” So I guess he just helped with the lyrics to the rockin’ version. Great song either way.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Yuni's trade value is sinking faster than a makeshift boat escaping from Cuba.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Get me Ken Levine on the phone, stat.
This is unacceptable.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
God this is painful
I hate these “kids in the booth” things
Just listen to it on loop for 30 minutes
and you’ll agree
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Yes he did.
Does that warrant a penalty boxing of 24 hours?
LFOJL was a little bitch last night.
Yeah, I said it.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions
I feel as though I'm dangling over a cliff and someone reached out a hand to help me up
And just as I reach to take it he pulls it back.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 2:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Corco's the only person I chose to box
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions
And yet last night JI got the box for no reason.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Graham tells me you got smashed off two beers
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions
There are better ways to get attention
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Locking them provides for blackmail later.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I can't wait for the day Ms. Jeff posts on this site
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Espically after another underwhelming trip on the Jeffacopter
by Robert on Jul 19, 2008 2:22 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
She has been good about limiting her exposure
although Teej now possesses inside information.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Her name starts with a C or an A
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't know where you got just my first name
But I know where you can get my full name
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
So those are all not her name
Process of elimination will give us her name eventually
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions
She almost texted you last night but I told her not to
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions
We didn't talk about you.
You texted me while we were out.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Things I've learned so far: Jeff had a date last night
Lookout Livejournal strikes again
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions
And then Graham texted me with your phone
talking about how you got smashed off two beers.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
I promised not to sell any of that information.
But in return I was promised recs.
by Teej on Jul 19, 2008 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
This is a great deal.
Recs for me, frustration for Robert.
by Teej on Jul 19, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Matthew's going to have Ms Jeff information before you do
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm stowing myself in Robert's suitcase
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
And Graham will stow himself in yours
It will be a human nesting doll.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions
It was actually Matthew who did the banning
I merely agreed that it would be funny.
by Graham MacAree on Jul 19, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions
I knew it.
Matthew always forgets.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Wow, so was I the only person who kinda-sorta expected a better result from Batista today?
I dunno, just figured he might pull a respectable game out of his ass against one of the weaker offenses in the league. AHAHAHAHA GOD LAUGHS AT MY PUNY HOPE.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
You only need to use it long enough to load the video feed
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Yep
As soon as you’ve got MLB.tv open, you can shut off the proxy.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:03 PM PDT up reply actions
This is awesome.
Thank you, oh mighty overlord and bringer of proxies.
So, I think we should put up 8 runs every time Felix pitches
And then just score one run per game until he pitches again. And get shelled on the off games as well, so changes are made at the end of the year
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
I was in the Diamond Club when Dickey got creamed by the Nationals
Matthew is in the Diamond Club today.
You're just trying to make me jealous, aren't you?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
I have been waiting for weeks to post these
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions
I used to get great seats in RFK in '05 before I left town for Chicago.
I’ve had some great seats in Wrigley too (I go when the Nats come to town), but other than that I haven’t been to a ballgame in a long time. Still haven’t made it out to the Cell even though I live on the South Side.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
How do you swing those seats?
Do you need to know somebody or is it just a matter of shelling out the $$$?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Must be nice to run one of the two primary M's blogs out there.
Lucky bastard. I haven’t even ever been able to see them in Safeco.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Blog had nothing to do with it
It was all Red.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions
This has already become the "Wild Wild World Of Batwoman" of Mariners games.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Beluga Tits line score: 2 7 8 8 1 2
Nice to see you back
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 2:13 PM PDT reply actions
So Raul homers on a 91 MPH fastball right down Broadway.
Jeremy Sowers sucks.
This is what you get greeted with when you switch to the NY-OAK gameday:

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:18 PM PDT reply actions
So it seems EVERYBODY can strike out Andy Marte.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
I think you mean "pitcher"
and I think you mean “is”
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:23 PM PDT up reply actions
I think YOU mean...
oh wait, nevermind.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Because it's one of the worst pun names imaginable
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions
What if nobody else can see it?
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Any and all attempted LaHair puns will be punishable by a 24-hour penalty boxing
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Well Jesus there's no reason to get your pubic Lahurrs tangled
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions
I have something better in store for you
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Looks like you have pectus excavatum.
by Susheel Ramasahayam on Jul 19, 2008 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions
If that means reverse chest bowl then... yes
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Have you been checked for Marfan's?
by Susheel Ramasahayam on Jul 19, 2008 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions
It sounds like something that only afflicts MARiners FANS
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 4:05 PM PDT up reply actions
It's a syndrome where affected persons have long arms, legs, dislocated lenses, hyper-extensible joints etc.
Life-threatening aortic rupture is possible.
by Susheel Ramasahayam on Jul 19, 2008 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions
Just get yourself screened if you have any of the above stuff.
It’s a simple blood test, I think.
by Susheel Ramasahayam on Jul 19, 2008 4:10 PM PDT up reply actions
So Cleveland is leading 9-2 and I'm still watching instead of teaching myself about Commercial Paper
Stupid? Boned for the Bar Exam (7/29-30/08)? Crazy genius?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Good point, though I am the cramming god. Adios, muchachos. If something wacky transpires, I might pop back in.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
All of our runs this inning have scored on either outs or errors.
(Yeah, I’m back. Fuck it, I’m well prepared.)
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
We should attack the sox blog
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions
They are good people
Good, sparse people
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Bottom of the page, right side (Sitemeter)
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Huh. We crush Halos Heaven, and are in turn crushed by BCB and Athletics Nation.
This stirs my blood.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Yeah, only us hopeless hardcores (plus Coach) remain. Were the numbers much bigger last year?
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Through the roof last July and August
And with live-updating comments now, game threads would be impossible to follow if this team ever gets good.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions
You know how much of a pain it is for Derek to keep USSM's server running right
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions
That's what data ferries are for
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions
JEFF TOTALLY SOLD OUT DOOD.
Probably bought a yacht or something with all the proceeds.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Strange thing is, I almost enjoy the game threads more now that the team is terrible.
In part that’s probably just because I know the ropes so much more these days.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
The hopeless snarking of the doomed is always more funny that YEE-HAW triumphalism.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Absolutely.
The Internet is for snark.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
There is no place for LOLCATS on this site.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
I agree completely.
LOLcats need to stay contained to dedicated LOLcats websites. And I say this as a fan of LOLcats.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 3:47 PM PDT up reply actions
DRaysBay has made a thing out posting Furries. But R.J. would start banning people so hard if they brought out the LOLcats.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
LOLcats are all over the place at DRB!
I saw RJ ask for one once.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Also: the Angels are great once again, and their traffic still sucks.
I’ll admit it, I smirked a bit.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
I find the search terms that bring people here to be infinitely hilarious.
My favorite ever was “Batista showing his penis.” Josh Hamilton’s name came up more than any other.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions
I still like how somebody arrived at LL after doing a Google query for "directions to bobby abreus house"
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
The best part is that they clicked through.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions
We should hold a bake sale to raise awareness of our site
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Grady Sizemore and Jamey Carroll have the same BA so they must be equal
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:09 PM PDT reply actions
“He knows he can hit,” Rodriguez said, “but he also wants people to recognize what he does on the grass.”
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions
This is frankly unbelievable.
It takes a lot of balls to write this article.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
It's one thing to do this with Jeter
but Raul? Jim Street has the greatest job in the world.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
BTW, this counts as a wacky enough development to justify my continued presence.
And I do like my theory stated above.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
This is how you push the envelope in a wasted season
I applaud you, Jim.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
On second thought, perhaps the FO is trying to pump him up in preparation for a trade.
As in “see, Ibanez isn’t as terrible a fielder as you think! Look, there was an article written about his defense just the other week!”
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
Doesn't count
He only had one foot on the grass when he “threw” that ball
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions
I love that gif.
Reminds me of my throws in high school games.
Being "on the grass"
Might explain some of his lethargic movement out there
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Huh
I’ll go in more depth later, but Adam Loewen is done as a pitcher. He’s going to reinvent himself as an outfielder/first baseman, perhaps as early as the fall instructional league.Another surgery on his elbow would have sidelined him for an estimated 1 1/2 years, and he wasn’t willing to go down that path.
“I’m always going to be a pitcher,” he said. “I’ve been doing it since I was 9 years old. It’s going to be hard to let it go, but God has a plan for me.”
MLB.com story:
Ankiel 2.0
Adam Loewen stops pitching, starts hitting
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Adam Loewen has two Major League at bats ever
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Seems God doesn't want him playing much baseball
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Loewen's Loans
The best bank in the country!
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Bet he pulls it off. Good luck young man.
Posted by: Herb | July 19, 2008 5:45 PM
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions
BBQ obtained, as well as Shiner Black Lager
I approve. Later tonight, time to go to 6th Street.
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 3:21 PM PDT reply actions
Is this game not on local TV?
I just got home and it’s not on FSN/FSN HD. I guess I’m not missing much though.
I figured.
I sorta glanced through the game thread, but not very well.
by AtomicGarden on Jul 19, 2008 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Visits Taco Bell
(A) 1 time a day
(B) 2 times a day
(C) 3 times a day
(D) 4 times a day
(E) #DIV/0!, owns franchise

As usual, better than the guy he threw garbage relief for
by eponymous_coward on Jul 19, 2008 3:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Fucking early games.
"Holy Shit, It's Steve Perry lead singer of Journey". "ha, FORMER Lead Singer."
by RafaelCarmona22 on Jul 19, 2008 3:40 PM PDT reply actions
How long has it been since Sean Green has been used?
If he could show emotion I bet he’d be smiling right now
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:43 PM PDT reply actions
He's been exhaling a sigh
Since last Sunday
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Holy shit, the Pravda has an article about Raul's "underrated" defense?
"Holy Shit, It's Steve Perry lead singer of Journey". "ha, FORMER Lead Singer."
by RafaelCarmona22 on Jul 19, 2008 3:43 PM PDT reply actions
Oh thats right Jim Street is a goddamned retard.
"Holy Shit, It's Steve Perry lead singer of Journey". "ha, FORMER Lead Singer."
by RafaelCarmona22 on Jul 19, 2008 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh no our closer is pitching in a non-save situation
Apocalypse
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
Listen closely
And you can probably hear Riggleman’s cellphone ringing, and getting blown up with texts from Johnny Mac
Wut r u doing? lol ur dum now
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions
JJ was in the clubhouse today
Morrow = demoted
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Morrow = throw-in on trade of Beltre for Xavier Nady.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Who turned on the slow music?
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions
"Before you turn out the lights, let's get one thing understooood"
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions
I feel this site will be all pictures by this time next season
And I would be ok with that
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions
...
Jeff: Yes you, snookums
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:55 PM PDT up reply actions
If only the timing of his sway was matched so it just looped perfectly
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions
That's what I told Jeff to do
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions
If I ever find him, I'll hit him with a sledgehammer and when he's paralyzed from the neck down I'll laugh and say, "Sway now, motherfucker"
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions
This sounds similar to something I have already said
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions
It probably is
and got stored in my memory banks as a dream
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Maybe he'll rhythmically convulse as his nerve endings fail for the last time
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Kinda looks like he's saying
“I’m pooping” at the first part of that
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Maybe reverse it so it just loops backwards
Like count 1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1 with the frames
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Also, Jeff
Nothing is impossible if you just believe in yourself. You have to BELIEVE
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions
From Matthew:
Somebody just mentioned lincecum. Had to try and assault morrow
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Working on a beautiful Saturday afternoon totally blows
But at least it prevented me from watching this game stupidly.
Is he sticking his tongue out in concentration?
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 19, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions
And I'll stand beside it
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions
This has been a rather productive game thread.
Good work, everyone.
I imagine JI would have taken care of these .gifs last night had he not been randomly boxed
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 4:50 PM PDT up reply actions
I assume this isn't going to end well, but
1) Jeff’s face is just perfect for that.
2) Looks kind of like it’s Jeff’s hand that’s venturing alittle too far south of the battle front.
I should pay better attention
Sometimes I feel like there should be a blog devoted to covering this blog. Maybe analyzing, summarizing, and breaking down posts and game threads.
We're making great progress with BlogF/X.
I think you’re going to be pleased with the data we’re going to get from it.
I don't think that's me, either.
Where’s the fun in that?by NOLAmarinergirl on Jul 19, 2008 5:21 PM PDT
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jul 20, 2008 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Bottom one is better.
Facial expression goes “I got it I got it I’m the shit I got it OHFUCK” which is what makes the whole gif.
by Aaron Campeau on Jul 19, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions
For the love of God
Can we please trade some of these jabronis while they still have value?!
4 singles, 1 run for the Rays
Mariners baseball!
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 4:49 PM PDT reply actions
My friend, 2 nights ago:
“They lost 7 in a row going into the All star break, I’m telling you, they’re going to fold.”
Me: “You’re wrong”
Him: “I’m not basing this on numbers, this is all my gut.”
Me: “facepalm jpg”
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jul 19, 2008 4:54 PM PDT up reply actions
God help me
there are too many baseball players for whom I’d willingly go gay.
by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2008 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Certainly would explain a lot
Because, as he stated, there are too many players whom he wants to Bro-Rape
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Jul 19, 2008 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions
The Rays are entertaining.
They give me my good baseball entertainment this year, while the M’s provide bad baseball hilarity. Win-Win
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
Where can I go to find stupid Red Sox fans bitching in despair?
I love the taste of self-entitlement gone sour.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.

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