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This Has Been The Proudest ~Week Of My Life

Tiny by Jeff on in Awful News

May 28th: Bavasi gives Jarrod Washburn's kinder, cheaper equivalent to the Padres for free.

May 28th: With the Mariners standing at 19-34, 12.5 back of the Angels, we learn that they have no intention of making Brandon Morrow a starter this year, because they like what he brings to the team in the eighth inning. Morrow admits to the media that he's disappointed.

May 28th: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

May 30th: Carlos Silva and his shiny new $48m contract get booed off the mound in the first inning. 

May 30th: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

May 31st: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

June 1st: Miguel Cairo starts at first base.

June 3rd: Miguel Cairo pinch-hits in the bottom of the ninth of a one-run game.

June 3rd: Geoff Baker lets us in on the fact that the Mariners are on pace to become the first team in history to spend $100m on payroll and lose 100 games.

June 4th: Jose Vidro bats cleanup and goes 0-4, dropping his OPS below .600. Jeff Clement and his AAA OPS that is literally double that of Vidro gets the day off.

June 4th: The Mariners achieve the worst record in baseball by getting swept by a minor league version of the Angels on their own turf.

June 4th: Overcome with disbelief that his preseason expectations were totally wrong, Bavasi instructs his players to sit in front of their lockers and think about what they've done, failing to understand that he's the one responsible for putting all these assclowns together under one roof. He did so with an eye towards chemistry.

June 4th: Richie Sexson refuses to sit in front of his locker and think about what he's done.

June 4th: Everybody in the organization starts calling each other names and I receive confirmation that the clubhouse has officially become a complete train wreck. Ichiro insinuates that he's emotionally broken. John McLaren flips out.

June 5th: An organization with needs at every single position but one spends its first round pick on exactly that of which they have more than enough. Fields brings good stuff but joins a list of college relievers taken in the first round that to date has brought a lousy collective return. The rest of the day's picks are also strange. The team does not get a sandwich pick between the first and second rounds because it retardedly refused to offer arbitration to Jose Guillen.

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It's time to press reset, because this game is over.

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Explain yourself

The artist formerly known as Katal

by Katal LM on Jun 5, 2008 9:11 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I did say insanely

But it’s also because I’m optimistic that this team’s massive shitstorm will cause people to get fired and traded. And I completely trust those in charge of the trades and firings.

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 5, 2008 9:13 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Felix could get injured

Other than that I can’t think of many ways it could get worse.

by OlSalty on Jun 5, 2008 9:10 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Also, I think at this point

Jose Lopez is just saying “Fuck You” to all of his teammates

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 5, 2008 9:10 PM PDT   0 recs

Yikes. No way around it, that's a hell of a train wreck.

*Visiting Angels fan* Never give up, never surrender!

by TheOptimist on Jun 5, 2008 9:11 PM PDT   0 recs

I really can't bring myself to look forward to next season.

Or the season after that. Or the next five after that.

How old are Chuck and Howie again?

by BrianL on Jun 5, 2008 9:13 PM PDT   0 recs

I think if they blew this team up and started over, I could handle not winning for the next few years

Just watching the players develop is fun enough. Of course, the chances that they do actually blow this team up are minimal.

by OlSalty on Jun 5, 2008 9:14 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I don't trust the FO as it is to blow the team up.

I don’t trust the FO to find a competent 1B/DH/RF and fix the current team.

I don’t trust the FO to do anything right.

by BrianL on Jun 5, 2008 9:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

These were my feelings in 2004

The artist formerly known as Katal

by Katal LM on Jun 5, 2008 9:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

The worst part is that by the time we might be competitive again

Felix will be signing with Boston.

The artist formerly known as Katal

by Katal LM on Jun 5, 2008 9:17 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Oh, and Ichiro will be on his last legs

The artist formerly known as Katal

by Katal LM on Jun 5, 2008 9:18 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Yeah we won't be in contention during Ichiro's window

There’s really no avoiding that now, for his sake I hope he somehow gets traded to a good team and in return we pick up some good young talent..

But that’s NEVER EVER EVER gonna happen because of the ownership’s interests in maintaining their Japanese fanbase.

by OlSalty on Jun 5, 2008 9:24 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Old men live a long time these days

Fucking modernized health care.

by Gomez on Jun 5, 2008 9:37 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Conceded

We’ve done a lot of that lately.

by marc w on Jun 5, 2008 9:28 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

hasn't beltre already said he wants to go back to LA?

and bedard was a 2 year rental anyway, we all knew that going into it

by Fuzz on Jun 5, 2008 9:28 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I was at this game

Gomes running out of the dugout like a madman was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in person.

by patsfan on Jun 6, 2008 9:40 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs