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Around SBN: Fighters React to Nick Diaz's Positive Drug Test

the acme approaches

185307483_f2d00096f2_tiny by johnbai on

shine on sweet zenith. blaze brother sun, and scorch us into new realms. graham approaches... the wind blows backwards and the trees shudder as something wicked this way comes. drunk posts appear with increasing frequency. rehashed arguments give way to meta-threads, beer discussion, birthday shoutouts, personalized baseball cards. no one cares that we have are mysteriously winning games. could this be the last days?

my vacation starts next week. i bought 6 fifths of alcohol at the store yesterday. after last night Matthew knows how to make a wicked margarita. (BTW, you left your sausage at my girlfriend's house... something i never thought i'd have to say.) i have a "welcome home" present for mighty Grey-Ham, slayer of the Persian horde. can anyone speak to the quality of Aviator Gin?

AND, it's a hundred fecking degrees outside.

i think all signs point toward an epic all-drunk thread sometime around the middle of next week. can we pick a particular game thread to ambush? maybe on the opponent's blog? anyone else feel the need to unleash the dogs of mildly self-destructive drunk-trolling? i guess i can do it by myself if necessary, but that would just be a sad case of a johnny-come-lately trying on the asshat of intox-o-posting. when you're hocking a loogie, why not shoot for the stars?

"also, fuck you and the shift key you rode in on." - e.e. cummings

Poll
Best midweek night for drunken blogging?
Tuesday natch, I'm busy managing Obama's campaign the other nights
6 votes
Wednesday of course, I'm too busy with my fantasy team on the other nights
9 votes
Thursday I'm afraid, I have Bible study on the other nights
9 votes

24 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 1122 comments  |  2 recs  | 

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FUCK

Back to paint it seems :(

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

At least you're learning.

Apostrophes are our friends—in less they’re of the greengrocer variety, in which case you’re a moron.

by Liebkartoffel on Jun 29, 2008 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hilarious

I’m reccing this and nobody can take that away

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 29, 2008 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Jeff can

Please don’t him started. Recs are all that I have left.

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yep, that was my problem with it. Seemed too fake.

In fact I’m pretty sure most of them were. Because I mean come on, just because you misspell some words, doesn’t mean you are drunk. And just because you’re drunk doesn’t mean you can’t spell. Most people’s vision doesn’t get THAT blurred when they are hammered and they’re not that clumsy when sitting at a keyboard.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Jun 29, 2008 8:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm like Curious George when drunk

I get myself into situations where I am in way over my head where the only way out is to dig faster and deeper.

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Also, even if you are drunk, what the fuck are you doing here anyways?

When I go out and get hammered, sitting at a computer fucking around on the internet is one of the last things I want to do.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Jun 29, 2008 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Whenever I'm drunk, for some reason, it's of vital importance

that every possible person is made aware of that fact, including random internet people I barely know.

by Liebkartoffel on Jun 29, 2008 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

At school it was easy.

We’d come back from some bar in Philly and my computer would be in my room beckoning to me.

When I’m home it’s impossible because I’m never around a computer

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Jun 30, 2008 8:14 AM PDT up reply actions  

I really don't think that's the case though

Are people really that desperate to be funny that they’d fake something like that? I don’t think guys like Graham and Robert etc. would do that, they’re plenty funny when they’re sober too so they don’t really have a reason to make complete asses of themselves unless they aren’t really intending to because they’re wasted.

by OlSalty on Jun 29, 2008 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've said it before and I will say it again.

There is nothing wrong with smashed posting. Drunk posting pisses me off.

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well I guess there are some uncleverer copycats out there who might fake it to be "cool"

But a lot of the drunkposts are really hilarious if they’re clearly genuine, it’s pretty easy to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely smashed and someone who isn’t.

And uncleverer is a word I just made up.

by OlSalty on Jun 29, 2008 8:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

I usually don't keep alcohol in the house

but I drunk posted in the House thread

wrap your brain around that

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

I can testify that at least Graham's and Robert's were genuine.

I’m happy enough to now confine myself to drunk texts and e-mails where they belong.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm pissed I didn't get a hilarious e-mail.

Though I know it’s hard when I set the bar so high.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 9:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

This one is going to have arrows pointing to it

And it’s going to reappear every time Robert posts.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Jun 29, 2008 9:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bullshit

I havent touched a girl in months

by Jeff Sullivan on Jun 29, 2008 9:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

P'shaw, you have no right to complain

I have like 10 recs total….I am a complete failure as a man.

by OlSalty on Jun 29, 2008 9:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Let me get my walker before I get sent over there

otherwise I’ll never make it.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jun 29, 2008 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Case in point(kinda), the closest I've came to a drunk post was

this. Though that was more buzzed than drunk, but still pretty readable

Also, the new search rules, I’m amazed I found that.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Jun 29, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've blogged while high before.

It was mostly some incomprehensible rant about how I wanted to write a screenplay about Tammany Hall, but Martin Scorsese beat me to it.

by Liebkartoffel on Jun 29, 2008 9:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

I have 5 pyramid ales waiting for this evening.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 29, 2008 8:07 PM PDT reply actions  

Eh.....

I’m not explaining my idiocracy this time. The asterisk is not my friend let’s just leave it at that.

by marinator on Jun 29, 2008 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wow,

heat lightning storm. I haven’t seen one since I left Texas.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 9:45 PM PDT reply actions  

In Washington? o.o

I saw one in Canada once, but never here.

by OlSalty on Jun 29, 2008 9:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm partial to the word "who"

but that’s only because what the word got attached to and not the word itself.

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

Also

surprised Jeff must only be used by Jeff, other wise it’s weird

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

62 though

That’s still kinda disturbing.

by OlSalty on Jun 29, 2008 10:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

no no gauntlet the ROY is yuors

I coudln’t even win it since I root for the evil dark side.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm semi-drunk now.

One of these bays, I’lkl haver my own driunk thread. And maybe my manlove for adrian beltre wiull go a bit too far. Also, fuck reggie williets and fuck getting a no-hitter nad still slosing. also, fuck mlb for saying that wasn’/t a no-hitter. And fuyck the delete key. I’m bnot toucving that bastard tonight.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 9:46 PM PDT reply actions  

Intriguing.

I’m drinking Oskar Blues Ten Fidy Stout right now. It is delicious. Like a burrito de beer.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 10:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

I miss Petco.

evcen though the padres blow now. I liked going there when I was in college.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

So to reiterate my hate for most angels fanms

I was at the zoo yesteday and I saw a guy in an angels hat, but he was wearing a t-shirt that said “I am Mclobvin” and had a picture of the Mclovin driver s liscence from superbad and I wanted to tell him “YOU MAKE ME ASHAMED!:”

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:15 PM PDT reply actions  

our culture is self-aware?

Didn’t Huxley write something about this?

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 10:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hey, I just bought a t-shirt with an overt pop-cultural reference!

I could be wearing it ironically I could be wearing it because I happen to enjoy the reference in question, it’s ambiguous! While you’re deciding, I’ll just be over here, basking in my dickishness.

by Liebkartoffel on Jun 29, 2008 10:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

OT:

Churchill says Atlanta is interested in Ibanez.

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 10:27 PM PDT reply actions  

Ibañez would make a great DH

Though my biggest fantasy involves Beltre to the Angels.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

I know

but seeing as the M’s are bad at player evaluation, I can only hopwe that Pe4lekoudas breaks Bavasi’s “no trades in the division rule” and sells low on Beltre for someone like Adenhart or something.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

More a hopeful one.

Beltre and Kendrick are my two favorite players. To have them on the same tweam would be aweosme. And no, Kendrick will not be a MaRiner.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

It's become self aware :(

I half froze it and when I opened it all the unfrozen carbonation pushed a small ice bullet out and it hit me in the face

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions   6 recs

As long as you didn't get it in the eye

you should be fine. They say it stings

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Jun 30, 2008 9:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

I can now testify that it does

It’s taken me 35 minutes to open my bottle this morning. A man shouldnt be terrified of something so tasty.

by Robert on Jun 30, 2008 9:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

LL Nazis.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 29, 2008 10:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

Carrie Browenstein's on the left.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

her? Is that NOLAmarinergirl?

Grahanm looks like her? This is whaty I get for not being online every second of every day.

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 10:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Pish no.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 29, 2008 10:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

I linked my name to RSS feed.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 29, 2008 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

God damn that is awesome.

Is the Mountain Dew Diet Code Red?

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yes cause it has to be red.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 29, 2008 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

No, not in my world.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 29, 2008 10:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

You're doing it wrong

I just got re-addicted to it and I haven’t looked back.

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

To non-diet?

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 29, 2008 10:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

No

to diet

Diet is the good tasting one.

by JI on Jun 29, 2008 10:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

pfffft

Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don’t make sense
refridgerator

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 11:32 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

gay gay gay gay gay

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay
gay gay gay gay gay

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 29, 2008 11:33 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Haikus rule with puns

Wanna go for a haiku?
I don’t have more puns

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 29, 2008 11:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

What we need is limericks.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

*are

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

I have wanted to write limericks for longer than you'd believe

but I’ve held off because I can’t trust you fuckers not to kill that meme deader than dead in six minutes.

by Jeff Sullivan on Jun 29, 2008 11:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Too much thought required.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

I am officially tired of that nickname

in any form.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Lies and falsehoods

I just refer to him as tits and refuse to fill uninformed people in.

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 11:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Or goes on strike.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

I must admit I would be speaking fallaciously

if I were to say that your myriad comments did have an ameliorative effect on my psyche. I hope that my remarks do not serve to abrogate the many doughty bonds of friendship between us.

by Liebkartoffel on Jun 29, 2008 11:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

I admit I'd be speak fallaciously if I said that your remarks

did not haven an ameliorative effect on my psyche, I hope this does not serve to abrogate the many doughty ties of friendship between us.

by Liebkartoffel on Jun 29, 2008 11:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

Um...words...

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

I love that t-shirt

Not buying one is one of my major regrets in life

by ningwers on Jun 30, 2008 8:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

That's what she said!

(I think I’ve almost got this meme down)

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 29, 2008 11:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well that's rude

On this picture’s flikr page, someone commented, “cool”

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 29, 2008 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm too tired to care about making good jokes anymore.

Nobody notices anyways. We should just do a game thread where every comment has to a MS Paint jpeg.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

the other angels fan

by Eyebrows on Jun 29, 2008 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well, I'll try anything once.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Been there done that

And if you have vanilla ice cream lately, so have you.

by Robert on Jun 29, 2008 11:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Depends if you like fudge....

Man, even I’m ashamed, but it was just there for the taking.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 11:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm not ashamed for setting it up.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 29, 2008 11:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

please no,

I cannot handle another thread locked on the right far side of the column.

by Matthew on Jun 29, 2008 11:47 PM PDT reply actions  

I WAS REFERRED TO AS A BEST POSTER

THIS IS GOING TO BE LINKED ON MY PROFILE BECAUSE I’M NEEDY

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 30, 2008 12:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

I live in a house alone

people generally aren’t real big on other people throwing chairs in their pool

by Jeff Sullivan on Jun 30, 2008 12:14 AM PDT up reply actions  

Until the drunk thread

I want to have somebody sober so they can write down all the interesting stuff

by Robert on Jun 30, 2008 12:16 AM PDT up reply actions  

We already know Brett lies though.

Or did you want the thread recap to read like:

-People were totally smashed, I was too young, it was lame.
-So instead, I started macking on this one chick, she was definitely a ten in the body. And we were making out and everything, but then I decided I needed some pizza so I ditched that ho and got me some thin crust.

by Matthew on Jun 30, 2008 12:18 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

We need an

“I am proud of this comment button”

It guilts me into not being a retard.

by JI on Jun 30, 2008 12:05 AM PDT up reply actions  

this is butthol isn't it?

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 30, 2008 12:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

I just looked into his profile status.

He must be a troll.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 30, 2008 12:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

I think I should make Matthew lighter

So he can’t play it off like he’s totally not a nazi

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 30, 2008 12:30 AM PDT up reply actions  

That's what I am thinking

It’s so hard to keep up with these when you aren’t there every second.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 30, 2008 12:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

That's just Robert

you mean you’re tired of Robert.

by Jeff Sullivan on Jun 30, 2008 12:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

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