Series Preview: Seattle Mariners @ San Diego Padres
Seattle: 28-50
Padres: 32-47
GAMES
Game 1: Jarrod Washburn vs Randy Wolf*
Game 2: Carlos Silva vs Cha Seung Baek
Game 3: Somebody vs Jake Peavy
Randy Wolf is posting the highest strikeout rate of his recent career while lowering his walk rate from 2007 while tossing more innings than every pitcher on the Mariners aside from Felix Hernandez. Randy Wolf was signed on a one-year deal for under $5 million guaranteed. Too bad nobody thought of that last winter.
The results don't show it, but Chasizzle has done himself quite well in San Diego so far with a fantastic 3.24 tRA in the rotation and a 2.84 FIP. This team gave him away for nothing because they saw more value in Miguel Batista. Incredible. I'm glad this team fired Bavasi before he traded Adrian Beltre to Baltimore for Melvin Mora citing Mora's higher RBI totals as proof that he performs in the clutch.
Everyone has fluke performances, it's not limited to just average or worse pitchers. In fact, there's really no one true dominant pitcher out there anymore who is far and away above everyone else like Pedro was a decade ago or Johan was a few years ago. To that end, take someone like Jake Peavy. Peavy is legitimately awesome, one of the best pitchers in baseball, but his 2007 was flukey just like Washburn's 2005 and this season has seen his core stats return to their established levels. That still leaves him a fantastic pitcher, just not the dominant one he was last season.
Likely Starters:
C Michael Barrett/Josh Bard^
1 Adrian Gonzalez*
2 Edgar Gonzalez
3 Kevin Kouzmanoff
S Khalil Greene
L Scott Hairston
C Jody Gerut*
R Brian Giles*
With Manbeast Gonzalez this is a decent lineup. They were terrible but have, gasp, made changes to rectify some of that. They are getting decent offense from Jody Gerut and Edgar Gonzalez and Brian Giles somehow still manages to produce. There's also Chase Headley(!) and overall they're running a 96 OPS+ after starting the year with a team OPS of .633 as of May 1st. They're still not scoring runs, but they're getting closer to that general area.
CONTEXT
Make no mistake of it, not only is San Diego our heated natural rivals, inflamed by our shared Spring Training complex during which I'm sure the Padres play overly cruel practical jokes on the hapless and bewildered Mariner players, but they are also one of our main rivals for Stephen Strasburg.
He's their hometown boy, their Tim Lincecum (ARGH!!!!!!!) and they surely won't (ARGH!!!!!!!!) make the mistake (ARGH!!!!!!!!) or passing him over (ARGH!!!!!) given the chance. Let's not give them a chance! Let's step up this series and say "Not this time! Not here! Not now!" Let's let them know who's winning this thing and it's going to be us! Let's get out there and get swept! Yeah! On 3!
One
Two
Three
SWEEP US!!
THIS SERIES BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
Stone Brewing. Escondido, CA
Stone doesn't make a bad brew and it would be impossible to pick any single one to highlight, so here you go. Every single one of these deserves your attention.

4 recs |
313 comments
Comments
Stone Brewing is located in Escondido?
interesting…
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 2:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
You make me sad that you didn't know this already.
by Matthew on Jun 26, 2008 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
't pay attention to where my beer comes from most of the time =(
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think mine comes from St. Louis.
Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!
by Fin on Jun 26, 2008 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yea the Padres are a bunch of winners
They’re going to cream the Mariners, they are going to take them down.
(South Park reference).
Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!
by Fin on Jun 26, 2008 2:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I'd like to win on Sunday.
I’m okay with losing, even tomorrow, when I have good tix…
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 2:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I like Arrogant Bastard.
Their other beers are meh.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip
by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 2:54 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
That's...I don't know how to....what?
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, I dunno what it is.
Then again, I had the IPA and the porter in the same sitting, and came away unimpressed. Maybe the bar had bad batches of both. Should I try again?
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip
by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes, definitely.
And while their ‘regular’ beers are good, my affection for Stone is based upon my love for stuff like Ruination, the Imperial Stout, Oaked AB, etc. You’ve got to try the specialty stuff to fully appreciate it.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Who's Tim Lincecum?
He sounds like he’s pretty good.
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 2:57 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
His mechanics are awul.
He’ll get injured soon. No need to risk it.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I thinka that ithsi is a graham bait so screw you acblue
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Drunk Graham?
If so, Christmas come early…
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Uh oh. Graham has gotten into the gin again.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip
by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
not gin had a graduateon dinnenr with in hall with some fuskcing delicious wine
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Steroids are the same thing as HGH
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
hahaha graham bating is a 34 day penalty voxeding
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You should penalty box Jeff, it'll be hilarious.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
but jrgg id vlever than most of you so why should i box him
oh the puns mightol bw a good enough reason i geuss
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions 11 recs
This is my favorite comment of all time.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow, that was horrible!
Rec’d!
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Drunk abuses of power are the best abuses of power
by OlSalty on Jun 26, 2008 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I jpes that was the corredst person otherwie i'm srotty
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
besides I even unozswed him afgter 1 minte because i forgot ewhich minutde is wat
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
god port is strong christ us a sandwich
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
rthe dessert wins was exquisites
ahhh holy fuk i graduate tomorrow my lige is over
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's Mad Dog for rich people!
Which, despite how it sounds, is indeed a good thing.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Mad Dog is not a good thing.
I swear to God, I saw a bottle that got passed around come back with more in it than it started with…
And a bottle of decent port isn’t THAT expensive.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
They're both fortified wine.
That’s, of course, where the similarities end.
And I meant ‘rich’ only in comparison to people who tend to drink Mad Dog.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think Thunderbird is more the bum drink of choice around here.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What's the price?
$.40 twice.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm trying to figure out what "christ us a sandwich" means.
by Teej on Jun 26, 2008 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Christ us a sandwich ??
I couldn’t translate that one.
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I see now.
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Haha, I was on a coffee break the whole time
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
LOOK DUED ALL I ASAY IS HOLY GUCK WHIS IS THE TEXT BIG
WHO STILY THE CPATS LOCK BUTOTN
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
G is close to F
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Drunk amnesty applies.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Is it just me or is Graham a hell of a lot less coherent this time than last
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
fuck you bitch quezr i alm fucking theman
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
You're calling us queers while you're fucking the man?
Just a touch hypocritical, eh, Graham?
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's pretty obvious that you're faking this, Graham
Maybe others are convinced, but I’m not. Sorry.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is a new approach for baiting.
Interesting.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not baiting. I've just been around too many people like Graham when drunk.
Myself included. I know what’s real and what’s a put-on. A few careless errors here and there? Some deeply awkward and unexpected revelations? Yeah, definitely could be drunk. But this? This is a badly-executed attempt at performance art.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Speaking of delicious wine
I’m rather fond of the 2004 Heron Pinot Noir, after about half a bottle.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 8:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
...huh.
Did anyone else notice something odd in Mark Lowe’s AB two days ago?
He was batting left handed.
by BrianL on Jun 26, 2008 2:59 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
He throws right, bats left.
I can’t remember off the top of my head who it is, but his childhood hero was a lefty, so that’s how he learned to hit.
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oak-aged Arrogant Bastard on tap
Heaven.
Ruination and the Imperial Stout are nice and extreme too. Love for Stone.
Also, this series is lame without Felix v. Peavy. Boo.
by chaney on Jun 26, 2008 3:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Ruination and the Imperial Russian are pretty much my two favorite beers ever.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Studes picked up on our game thread wackiness.

From his post here.
I will say, I don’t think “NSFW” does that thread justice. That thing is not safe for anyone ever unless you know us.
by Matthew on Jun 26, 2008 3:08 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Ahahaha he linked to the gamethread!
That’s awesome.
by BrianL on Jun 26, 2008 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So THAT was the spikes made of Snickers bars gamethread...
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That gamethread gets more and more hilarious with each time I read it.
by BrianL on Jun 26, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ummm.. is it bad that I don't remember some of the threats I made towards Carlos Beltran during that thread?
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd say it's probably for the best.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I GO AT MY OWN PACE
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Which is unfortunately slower than everyone else's
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
IT USUALLY WORKS OUT OKAY
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Does game thread amnesty get extended if Felix is injured?
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm trying to joke about the LATE meme.
It’s not going too well.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You missed a sex longevity joke opportunity there.
by Matthew on Jun 26, 2008 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Goddammit.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I know when to jump ship on a bad joke.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't know about that...
you’re still following the 2008 Mariners, right?
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm still laughing.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA FUCKBASEBALL FUCK ARGH
Whatevsr
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
More gingles?
I’ve tried to erase the bad moments from the 1980’s.
And then I see Jim Presley swinging at pitches in another state in my mind’s eye again, and minor league batting averages in the PI sports pages where Edgar’s leading the PCL again, and I have to grab the tequila bottle…
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
no ui an out of gingles but am in a tuxedooo
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
Fuck this is funny.
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wedding? Awards Ceremony? Queen's Official Birthday?
Curious as to what social occasion gets the heavy drinking and formal wear…
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ah, makes sense.
Congratulations!
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't you mean 'congraduations'?
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I can spell right now because I haven't been drinking.
I might fix that later, though. I need to sample some tequilas before flying to Mexico for vacation next week.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
but i look really d fucking gat with my haer cut
goddamn parents say ‘graham cut your fucking hair bacuae you lookl like a tawat’ an d so it lll came off today and I am sd
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
vowels are overrated
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Congratulations
I’m glad you chose LL as your preferred afterparty destination
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 4:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
girl was putting too much lipstick on my face but ashe way too tall so escape!
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Simple rule:
People are pretty much all the same height lying down.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That thread is one of our finer moments.
I’m glad it’s getting the recognition it deserves.
One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power
by Goose on Jun 26, 2008 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Rich Harden: 8IP, 2H, 1BB, 11K
11 swings and misses on 95 pitches.
Beast.
by Matthew on Jun 26, 2008 3:16 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
HE Ahas THE MESTBEAUTIFUL BLUE EYTES
\deanna is she lsot the ability to type
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
And Jarrod Washburn has the most beautiful chipmunk teeth.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip
by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He also has the most beautiful teenage daughters
oh wait…
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I wish Deanna was here to see that comment.
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Okay, you have to change your screen name to Bro-Ray now.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Shit, I might have to!!
I like midgets more than I should.
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I told you I was totally going to go Kibo on you all
And, yeah, Harden has the most amazing eyes. And arm. Sigh.
Graham, come to Japan, I’ll buy you many, many beers. And shochu.
by Deanna on Jun 27, 2008 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He's healthy?
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Looks like the Nats are our real competition
From coolstandings.com
W L Pct RS RA EXPW EXPL Seattle 28 50 .359 313 384 61.9 100.1 Washington 31 49 .388 292 401 62.4 99.6 San Diego 32 47 .405 293 368 67.6 94.4 Colorado 32 47 .405 331 399 71.3 90.7
What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?
by rickpo on Jun 26, 2008 3:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
The mariners did all they could to fend off the nationals head-to-head.
Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!
by Fin on Jun 26, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Now, it's our turn to cough some up to the Padres.
Strasburg Ho!
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
graham BAITING CARRIES A hey theasdr the button i dound it
i should deteldss this commnt
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:00 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
You're a bad person.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham is going to ban you, sober up, then forget you're banned for 2 months
by OlSalty on Jun 26, 2008 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is just awful.
Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!
by Fin on Jun 26, 2008 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Fixed.

Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Your forgot to shop a Rasmus Mariners jersey.
by BrianL on Jun 26, 2008 7:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think you meanLooper.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 8:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Since Graham got his second drunk thread does that mean I'm on deck
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:01 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
OR AON DSUICL!
HAHAHAHA ROBOERT SI A PENIS
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
SMASHED posting >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Drunk posting
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:03 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
The closer you are to the hospital, the more hilarious.
It’s a fine line.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Is JI first in succession order if one of the mods die?
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The servers would melt.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I just want to know how many bullets am I away
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't make me root for Graham's untimely demise.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
More gin would be good for you Graham!
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not to much though
More Gin= More Recs and I have no desire to give up number 3 on the leaderboard
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Kiss the sig.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Together we could over power Jeff and take Matthew and Graham with us
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Jeff will be forced to beg for recs at VEB.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham's been at uni
I’m pretty sure his liver and the rest of his body is up to the challenge, after reading Graham Chapman’s autobiography.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham should drunk post some of Jeffs Drunk emails
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:06 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
What's that big brown thing?
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Excellent.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
i i fogret the linghting bolt SITKREING ROBERT THE GNOME
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have lived the struggle for long enough
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I assume there are hawt gnome queens.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Odd name for a queen.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I cant make a sex joke without somehow including felix
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It can be a pet name.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You're right, I should drink.
the other angels fan
by Eyebrows on Jun 26, 2008 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
So does anybody else find the whole fake "Ooh, Graham is drunk!" schtick to be forced and unfunny?
I mean, it’s terribly obvious that he is in fact fairly (if not completely) sober. The practiced misspelling and conceptual responses he comes up with are evidence enough of that. I guess everyone else just thinks it’s funny to “play drunk” or something, I dunno.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:12 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
When was the last time you tried to type smashed?
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
During my thread
All I remember thinking was that I was writing the most intelligent thing ever. Like a modern day blogging mozart
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I know wha ti asay is all misspielled but why would i care about spelling because i get to sesacape after poncing aout in a gown tomorws
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not sure what that means but I think your a fag
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
wdl i think your'a peasant
all pesenats hahahahahaha
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Funnily enough this is what drunken posting actually looks like
Try it sometime
by OlSalty on Jun 26, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Practically every post I have ever made on LL has been drunken posting.
Not a joke, my friend. Excepting maybe the ones made before 4:00PM CST.* I just type exceedingly well (and at high speeds) even while drunk. It’s my superhero skill a la Mystery Men.
*Neither Mariners nor Nats playing today, so not drunk.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Crap, so putting two asterisks in a row triggers the "bold" function?
That’s a bunch of bullshit right there.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Considering that you've made 2300+ posts, maybe you've got a problem...
Seriously, though, having posted a few things while totally wasted, I have no trouble believing that Graham is drunk. If you do indeed possess the ability to type well when totally hammered, you’re in the vast, vast minority.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm a lawyer...we're supposed to have drinking problems.
And yeah…maybe I was exaggerating a bit there. Let’s just say that the later a game (here in CST all the home games start at 9:00PM), the more likely I am to be kicking back with some Diet Sunkish and cheap vodka.
That’s right, I kick it dork-style.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What kind of lawyer drinks cheap vodka?
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
One who's saving his money for an upcoming engagement/marriage, that's who
Besides, I like to mix it with soda…why waste your money on good alcohol if that’s what you’re gonna do?
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I 100% non-sarcastically agree with this
When I’m drinking cranberry vodka or whatever the best I ever use it Skyy.
by seattlebruin on Jun 26, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yup.
Yuppies who order Grey Goose in their vodka crans make me laugh. No, fuckstick, you can’t taste the difference between house vodka and top shelf in a mixed drink (unless it’s just absolutely terrible vodka). Go away.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
To me, 'cheap' means Monarch, which you absolutely can taste in a mixed drink.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
HRD for the win!
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Fuck yes.
A few years ago my friends and I were going to a rock festival and we thought we were going to be cool and sneak in some booze. We tried mixing HRD with…wait for it…Snapple.
That did not go well.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip
by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ah... the foibles of youth.
Mine was drinking Cuervo before realizing that pretty much all Cuervo is 51% tequila, 49% cheap-ass bodega rum with caramel (except for the ultra-premium stuff).
This put me off of tequila for years, and then I found out GOOD tequila doesn’t suck.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cuervo mixed with Sunny Delight.
Not so delightful, especially after it sits in the Wenatchee sun for half of the day.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cuervo by itself is awful.
Really, don’t drink any tequila that doesn’t say “100% pure agave tequila” on it. Even if it’s in mixed drinks.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 5:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I've had plenty of Cuervo over the years,
and plenty of good stuff as well. And I’m not a big tequila guy. Best stuff ever was the stuff I brought back from the tequila festival in Juarez, Mexico.
Can’t remember the name, but it was 100% agave, smooooth and delicious.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Jager and rootbeer.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 5:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's either interesting,
or the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard of.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The latter.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
A buddy of mine loved to put on what he called The Jager Challenge,
which basically involved me drinking jager mixed with god knows what for every party I attended. Just FYI jager and orange soda is not the way to go. Ever.
by ningwers on Jun 27, 2008 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm surprised you don't have alcohol's ranked in order
of their compatibility with Dew.
by Matthew on Jun 27, 2008 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Chugging Mt Dew is incredibly painful and vomit inducing if you include alcohol
Thats why god invented Mt Dew Amp energy drinks. If you want spend a little more Red Bull can be tasty and it completely covers the last of jager. On the very special occasions, I recommend 5 star energy drink as it has a sweet….oh my god im corco
by Robert on Jun 27, 2008 6:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Gordon's vodka's kinda ginny, which is OK in mixed drinks.
It’s just terrible straight.
I use Platinum 7X myself.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You can taste Monarch if you're dead.
it’s beyond cheap.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cheap vodka tastes, good vodka doesn't.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
There are decent mixer vodkas that are inexpensive.
It’s just beyond stupid to use expensive vodka for mixed drinks unless you’re trying to impress people at how much money you can waste.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh, I agree.
When he said ‘cheap’ I thought bottom shelf.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What I meant was Gordons' Vodka, really.
Isn’t there a brand out there named Dmitri or something? I saw an entire handle of it on sale for like $10. That’s gotta be some shitty vodka right there.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Depends.
Friend of mine brought back some Wyborowa from Poznan for like $8 for a fifth (when exchange rates were figured in).
I took it to a vodka party where we were doing shots of sub-0 C vodka with snacks/appetizers (Russki style). People had brought Vox, Belvedere, Ciroc, Chopin, and were doing bingo cards.
We had a fantastic party, and most people liked the Wyborowa best (it’s actually a pretty good vodka). This convinced me that the Poles put their second-best vodka in fancy bottles and ship it to America for yuppies and hispters to drink.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Exactly.
That is why Monarch sucks so bad.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Monoplowa or Spudka are the only vodka I really drink.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not bad.
I’m a fan of (obviously) Wyborowa and Pshenychna “Rifle” Vodka myself, but the potato vodkas are good, too.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Which is worse, yuppies or hipsters?
My girlfriend and I think hipsters are worse, but I suspect that’s some latent self-hating there (we’re both closeted hipsters ourselves – we share their tastes but not their attitudes). Yuppies are stupid, but hipsters are the filthy inheritors of the disgusting hippie legacy.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yuppies.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Show your work.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
First off, I don't even know what 'hipster' means.
I’m not convinced anyone really does; it can be applied to a huge cross-section of people.
Secondly, ‘hipsters’ as typically defined can be totally annoying, but they’re also a necessary evil in most large cities. They come to rock shows (even if only to be seen) and the money they spend helps keep clubs open, bands playing, they help drive fashion and cultural trends, etc.
Yuppies, however, do things like buy condos in ‘hip’ areas (like Capitol Hill and Belltown) and complain about the very things that brought them to the area in the first place, causing clubs to close, the character of established neighborhoods to be destroyed, and small, interesting businesses to be replaced with fusion restaurants. Take a look at Pike/Pine and Ballard if you need examples. In my daily interactions working in retail, hipsters might be snobs, but yuppies are often downright cruel.
And, most damningly, yuppies have led to the emergence of such trends as designer boutiques for babies and high-end dog salons. Seriously, is there even an argument here?
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
lawyers are gayrtarerd
do a real ubject
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
More Graham baiting.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip
by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham what would you do to Jeff Clement?
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:19 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
say hello mr. clement it a is anice to meet a man of yo obvious calibre hey does this ra smell liek chloroform to no
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Are you sure you want to know?
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Keeping in mind he's 6 foot 1...
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham can have a step-stool
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I wonder if needed to sit on phonebooks tonight?
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What if he's receiving?
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Somehow, I envision this going...
... something like this.
PS: promise it’s not a Rickroll, which is so March anyway…
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham should show Jeff whose boss by unbanning everybody thats been born
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 4:25 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
fuck surprsibe sjhe is a brigate
it’s all aobut the shops of the lne bitcheses
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What ever happened to F'n A's, anyway?
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
suicide?
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He delete hs diaries in shame.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Graham, is that you?
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
i was on the flor ansd coulg t see keyoard
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You know what goes well with port? More port.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
vomit sivk whatever hlkinf ogesick that is
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I've vomited green before too.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 5:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I did purple once.
After drinking 151 and eating buttermilk pancakes.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Or try stomach lining...
after drinking shitloads of homemade Kahlua made with Everclear.
Oh. My God.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maraschino (sp?) cherries soaked in Everclear do a number on you too.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Anything + Everclear is pretty much death
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm glad those days have passed me by.
AKA "BRO-RAY" according to drunk Graham...
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
it's red this time
i only had a couple glasses of white and desret wine beofer hammering down the port and clert
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That hangover is gonna' be epic.
As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.
by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 5:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I've done rainbow after eating a pound of sour gummy worms in 15 minutes
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The people who I stole drinks from were drinking green drinks.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I crapped fluorescent blue for three days
After downing 2 liters of Hawaiian Punch “Berry Blast” in one sitting.
Even the toilet paper was dyed blue. It was deeply problematic.
I root for the two worst teams in baseball, non-ironically.
by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 6:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I thought your hair was shorter than that
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
i still self image with long hair
<—-self image fuck short har
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
Ooooh, time for electrolytes, B vitamins and aspirin.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
asputin ids chating
i sduffer the hangober becaesr i desrve them
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 5:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you can't stand up, it's probably best that you stop drinking.
Just don’t lie on your back.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You idiot thats how Jimi Hendrix died
You need to sleep face first
by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Keith Moon and John Bonham too.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's what I was trying to get across.
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, I suppose.
My attitude is if God wanted me to have hangovers, he wouldn’t have invented aspirin, electrolytes and B vitamins.
I figure if I DON’T remember to take them and get the hangover, then it’s my fault and I deserve it, though.
by eponymous_coward on Jun 26, 2008 5:06 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
i drink lots o water
but i think pi;s are ceating
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 5:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You misspelled "wine".
AKA "BRO-RAY"
by Thingray on Jun 26, 2008 5:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
uour msn xzays your's offline again i think it's fucked
by Graham on Jun 26, 2008 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He's already up to speed

Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 5:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I blame the keyboard.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 26, 2008 4:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Be crappy.
Give you're propers to the all time rec leader.
by JI on Jun 27, 2008 9:53 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The ultimate battle of sucktitude is upon us.
STRASBURG IS OURS! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! LET THE BITTER RIVALRY BEGIN!
FIRE BUD BLACK! RETIRE HOFFMAN, GILES, AND MADDUX! TRADE HEADLEY, KOUZMANOFF, AND GREENE!
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jun 26, 2008 6:01 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Wooo go M's!!!!
We will lose to you Padres!!! 100 losses here we come!
But seriously, lately I root for the M’s to lose, I follow the bottom dwellers and hope they are winning.
Getting Strasburg would be pretty cool :) Our low minors pitching depth + Felix + Strasburg = a bright and beautiful future to dream about.
by BeltredNOT on Jun 27, 2008 12:33 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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