28-50

by Jeff on Jun 25, 2008 9:16 PM PDT in Game Recaps Comment 53 comments

Hypothesis: the Mariners are stupid

Given: continued regular '07/'08 playing time granted to Miguel Batista, Jose Vidro, Raul Ibanez, Richie Sexson despite alleged injuries

Possible Explanations: (1) team telling the truth, (2) team not telling the truth

Method:

Conclusion: the Mariners are stupid

Biggest Contribution: Willie Ballgame, +2.3%
Biggest Suckfest: Miguel Batista, -33.2%
Most Important AB: Ichiro leadoff fly out, -2.2%
Most Important Pitch: Wright homer #2, -13.5%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -30.6%
Total Contribution by Lineup: -19.4%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)

11 recs | Comment 53 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

50 losses before the All Star Break.

Awesome.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Jun 25, 2008 9:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

50 losses before July

Even MORE awesome.

My layout.spellcheckDefault goes to 11

by PositivePaul on Jun 26, 2008 10:38 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

EPIC

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 25, 2008 9:25 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Its odd that the team would still lie about players being injured to cover up their suckage

Now that Bavasi is gone, why don’t they just blame him for them sucking?

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 25, 2008 9:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Pelekoudas and everyone else were members of that front office

by Jeff on Jun 25, 2008 9:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes, but scapegoats.

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 25, 2008 9:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This team's shit's all retarded.

by Matthew on Jun 25, 2008 9:35 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I heard it talks like a fag

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 25, 2008 9:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

So what I would do is like...pshaawwwwww...y'know?

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by acblue on Jun 25, 2008 9:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Why come you don't have a tattoo?

by Nick S on Jun 25, 2008 10:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Felix is unscannable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by acblue on Jun 25, 2008 11:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

ZOMG, MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN REPEATING THIS LINE TO EACH OTHER FOR THE LAST FIVE DAYS

We just saw Idiocracy for the first time on Friday…it was because of all the references on LL…it went over like fucking gangbusters. I LOVE THIS SITE. I LOVE THE TASTE OF ALL Y’ALL FAGS AND RETARDS.

by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 1:08 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It's bad form to reply to my own comment, but I can't get over how fucking funny "Why come you don't have a tattoo?" is.

by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 1:10 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I never realized that was a gay thing to say

shit.

by Robert on Jun 25, 2008 10:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Flow charts: always funny

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Jun 25, 2008 9:44 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Eureka

by speedomike on Jun 25, 2008 9:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Like all good people, I love me some flow charts.

by SethGrandpa on Jun 25, 2008 10:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Flow charts rock

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 25, 2008 10:22 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Ah, familiarity.

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

by Mariner John on Jun 25, 2008 10:37 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

New special .gif

It is massive so for the sake of those of you with slower connections I will link it rather than post it.

ahahahaha

by Jeff on Jun 26, 2008 12:02 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs

WHEN WAS THIS???

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 26, 2008 12:07 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

5/30/06

by Jeff on Jun 26, 2008 12:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't remember this.

What was he so angry about?

by thewyrm on Jun 26, 2008 12:39 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Low called strike three

by Jeff on Jun 26, 2008 12:40 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

In case you're wondering I finally got around to reading Saturday's game thread

which reminded me of this.

by Jeff on Jun 26, 2008 1:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I remember performing well that day.

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 26, 2008 1:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That explains the picture quality.

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 26, 2008 1:37 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It was the game that spurred our year and a half return to relevancy

by Robert on Jun 26, 2008 8:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think team leader Raul must have been wound up by all the bad defence he keeps witnessing

by Alex B on Jun 26, 2008 12:38 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That is fantastic.

The first few seconds could be useful alone.

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by acblue on Jun 26, 2008 12:34 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

YES, YES, YES, YES.

I remember that one.

by ThundaPC on Jun 26, 2008 12:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

He's like a far less intimidating Henry Rollins or something.

I like.

God, the surge of high quality .GIFS (most involving Raul) is one of the great highlights of this shitty season.

It sort of makes me realize how much we’ll miss Raul when he’s gone. I love the guy, he’s a human highlight reel in his own unwitting way.

by esoteric on Jun 26, 2008 1:14 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bwhahahaha.

I remember that.

One Vision, One Purpose
Peace Through Power

by Goose on Jun 26, 2008 5:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Wow

That is massive. Took forever to load on my fast company connection too.

Hilarious though, egghead gone crazy.

I'm more like I am now than I've ever been.

by ralphie81 on Jun 26, 2008 9:37 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

YES

Best Raul moment ever.

by Gomez on Jun 26, 2008 5:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I was at this game, (sort of) unfortunately.

In the 3rd inning, I got all the drunken frat assholes in my section to start up a “Let’s go Tits” chant. I think only a couple of them got why, but all of them joined in wholeheartedly.

That was the only thing at the game to go well. Well, that and the extremely hot pair in front of me that kept leaning back to stretch, danced to all the music, and heckled back and forth with me the whole game. It was worth the glares from the GF.

by Faux on Jun 26, 2008 5:25 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

And because someone has to do this, it might as well be me.

by Faux on Jun 26, 2008 5:28 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Hey, what happened to Eric's fanpost about Felix?

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on Jun 26, 2008 8:41 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Batista throws Bedard under the bus...wahooooooo, its like a soap opera

Per Rotoworld:

“I have to make sure I get myself healthy before I go out there again, because I’m the only guy trying to pitch through it… Everybody else, every time they feel pain, they go on the DL, or they take a rest, and I haven’t he said

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 9:37 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Awww, poor baby.

It sure must be hard, going out there and sucking it up, instead of getting healthy and maybe (I know, a long shot) pitching good enough to not drop 8 over 4IP.

by Faux on Jun 26, 2008 9:39 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I just love the quote...just shows the animosity and division in the clubhouse.

It’s not really all that subtle either. Bedard just got served.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 9:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't think Bedard gives a crap.

About a 3-10 pitcher “battling through injuries”.

by ThundaPC on Jun 26, 2008 9:45 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I totally agree...he shouldn't. But when one veteran is ripping another..it makes me laugh

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bedard didn't get served.

Tits just made himself look like a moron and an asshole.

by BrianL on Jun 26, 2008 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think it serves two purposes...he looks stupid and at the same time calls out Bedard

I don’t think I’m reading too far into his comments.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 11:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That could just as easily be Miguel calling himself stupid

by Jeff on Jun 26, 2008 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well he is...but at the same time didn't need to say:

“Everybody else, every time they feel pain they go on the DL, or they take a rest, and I haven’t…”

With the media all over Bedard and his pitch counts (which I don’t buy) and coming out of like 3 games now due to injury, it’s an obvious jab at Bedard.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 26, 2008 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't really think that's what he meant

Because he wasn’t saying he was toughing it out and still doing well, he was saying he was toughing it out and that’s why his performance has been terrible. Calling out other pitchers for not playing through injury would only make sense if he was actually doing well while playing through injury himself, which he’s not (and he acknowledges he’s not) he’s been the worst pitcher on the team, so I think he’s just calling himself stupid for continuing to go out there with injury problems.

by OlSalty on Jun 26, 2008 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs