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6/23: Open Game Thread, Part 4

Tiny by Jeff on in Game Threads Comment 1172 comments

CARLOS BELTRAN I WILL FIND YOU

I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL APPREHEND YOU AND I WILL DO THINGS TO YOU THAT NO HUMAN HAS EVER DONE TO ANOTHER

I WILL DO THEM WITH A BLOWTORCH AND A CORKSCREW AND A JAGGED METAL SHOELACE SOMEHOW

YOU WILL NOT BE HAPPY AND I WILL NOT BE HAPPY

BUT YOU WILL BE LESS HAPPY ON ACCOUNT OF I WILL MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU

KILL

YOU

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Comments

Display:

NO

FELIX DOES NOT GET CREDIT FOR HIS RIGHTFUL VICTORY

Felix Hernandez is just... too... sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!

by Katal LM on Jun 23, 2008 5:24 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

If we had Guillen I bet he would knife you, Beltran

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:24 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This game has the potential to harbor both the

number 1 best and worst moments of the season.

by redwolf75 on Jun 23, 2008 5:25 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm leaving before I get more upset

Brett or Robert or someone, can you text me if any information on Felix’s health is released?

Felix Hernandez is just... too... sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!

by Katal LM on Jun 23, 2008 5:25 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THERE IS NO PUNISHMENT THAT SHOULD DETER HIM

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:27 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The poster future in the previous thread:

I want his life. I want it in my hands. I want it so I may smother it till it fades away into nothingness.

Felix Hernandez hit a Grand Slam off Johan Santana.

by Goose on Jun 23, 2008 5:25 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I concur

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by I'm NOT Corco on Jun 23, 2008 5:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I am going to go play Call of Duty

While imagining everyone is Carlos Beltran. Fuck. This.

by seattlesundevil on Jun 23, 2008 5:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wow, I did that too and went on a massive, massive rampage, killing everyone in sight

except my teammates sucked horribly and I lost four consecutive games in which I put up 25+ kills, so I went into a controller throwing fury. I felt like I was Ichiro, but with more anger.

by seattlebruin on Jun 24, 2008 8:21 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

OH GOD PLEASE DON'T BE HURT BADLY

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Puke everywhere

You can run, but you can't hide! Unless it's in this general area over here. Blindspot.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 23, 2008 5:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WIN IT FOR FELIX!!!

Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; but if a thing is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach.

by Orlando Rays on Jun 23, 2008 5:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I WAS GOING TO SEE YOU AND PEAVY ON SUNDAY

NOW I WILL SEE SOMEBODY ELSE THROUGH CRIMSON EYEGLASSES
CRIMSON WITH BLOOD

by Jeff on Jun 23, 2008 5:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS?!

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:28 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

They say people get what they deserve...

I seriously am trying to remember but when the 2008 Mariner’s
gang rape a school of nuns.

Do we really deserve this?

by mark sobba on Jun 23, 2008 5:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

sorry, this is just the funniest thing ive seen in a while

ive seen you guys suffer enough, i honestly hope felix is okay

I AM THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. BOW TO MY WILL AND MY HAMMER!

by anaheim angels on Jun 23, 2008 7:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 7:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

TELL US ABOUT HIS INJURY, GET HIM A FUCKING MRI RIGHT NOW

GET HIM ICE, GET HIM PAINKILLERS, USE FUCKING MAGIC TO HEAL IT I DON’T KNOW BUT FIX HIM

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

NECROMANCY! FULLMETAL ALCHEMY! ANYTHING!!!

Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; but if a thing is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach.

by Orlando Rays on Jun 23, 2008 5:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Get him comfort women

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 5:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

FELIX IS LATIN AND CARLOS BELTRAN IS LATIN

BELTRAN WILL NOT EXPECT WHAT HE IS GOING TO RECEIVE

by Jeff on Jun 23, 2008 5:30 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Someone run out to center and stomp Beltran into the ground

Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; but if a thing is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach.

by Orlando Rays on Jun 23, 2008 5:31 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You don't want to know.

Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; but if a thing is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach.

by Orlando Rays on Jun 23, 2008 5:32 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THERE IS A GIF MADE OF IT

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

He tried to throw another pitch

looked to be in so much pain

Bring back José Cruz Jr!

by darmok on Jun 23, 2008 5:34 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN'T FAIR TO THE METS

NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS
NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS
NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS
NOTHING HAPPENED FELIX IS OK HE JUST IS IN THE DUGOUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T FAIR TO THE METS

by Smegmalicious on Jun 23, 2008 5:34 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

BETWEEN SERIOUS AND NOT SERIOUS

HE THREW ONE WARMUP PITCH AND THEY WOULDN’T LET HIM STAY IN

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:34 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm deciding if your name is

Smegma – Licious or Smeg – Malicious.

by johnbai on Jun 23, 2008 5:52 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

WHY DO YOU CARE RIGHT NOW?

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Jun 23, 2008 5:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

True

it was going to be a game for the ages… what with the grand slam and all. Good point.

But Felix is going to be fine.

by johnbai on Jun 23, 2008 6:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Richie may suck

But at least he was nice enough to slide around the opponents’ pitcher. This is kinda like going headhunting on the quarterback after an interception – legal, but not nice.

by westfried on Jun 23, 2008 5:32 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You people are all crazy

And running on emotion right now. Beltran BARELY avoided Clement’s glove sliding in the way he did.

You expect him to care about where Felix is? He’s trying to score!!!

"I got my pregnant wife (the Yankee fan) with me. Hoping my kid learns to kick her everytime the Mets score." -Schifftis-

by future on Jun 23, 2008 5:35 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   1 recs

And in no way

Do I want to see King Felix hurt. He is a joy to watch pitch. But Beltran is one of the nicest guys in baseball. Nothing was intentional in the slide.

"I got my pregnant wife (the Yankee fan) with me. Hoping my kid learns to kick her everytime the Mets score." -Schifftis-

by future on Jun 23, 2008 5:35 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THE END OF ALL YOU HOLD DEAR IS NEAR!

Felix Hernandez hit a Grand Slam off Johan Santana.

by Goose on Jun 23, 2008 5:36 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Because I'm rational?

Or because I’m friends with Jeff and AM NOT TROLLING IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.

You guys are threatening the life of one of my team’s players for a freak accident at the plate. You expect me to just let you say that stuff and not defend him?

"I got my pregnant wife (the Yankee fan) with me. Hoping my kid learns to kick her everytime the Mets score." -Schifftis-

by future on Jun 23, 2008 5:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A THOUSAND DICKS IN YOUR RELIGION

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 5:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I HOPE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH!

BECAUSE MY DICK IS COMING FOR AN INSPECTION!

Felix Hernandez hit a Grand Slam off Johan Santana.

by Goose on Jun 23, 2008 5:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   1 recs

JEFF, YOU CHOSE YOUR FRIENDS WRONGLY!

Felix Hernandez hit a Grand Slam off Johan Santana.

by Goose on Jun 23, 2008 5:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

DIE IN A FIRE WHILE YOUR BEING RAPED BY THE DEVIL

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 5:36 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Too soon

Bring back José Cruz Jr!

by darmok on Jun 23, 2008 5:36 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Then you

would be getting raped to death.

Jeff: not in favor of this one. ;)

Sorry I will leave your thread. It’s not nice of me to say stuff in your sanctuary.

"I got my pregnant wife (the Yankee fan) with me. Hoping my kid learns to kick her everytime the Mets score." -Schifftis-

by future on Jun 23, 2008 5:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You strike me as the kind of guy

Who would tell your guy friends in a sauna that you have a raging boner.

by Souther on Jun 23, 2008 5:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

HE COULD'VE SLID TO THE LEFT AND PUT HIS HAND ON THE BASE

He should cover the plate to prevent the run.

I hope some one slits your throat and fucks the hole as you watch it, your life slowly ending. And I hope it happens tonight you miserable fuck.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I am very upset

I am very upset with Beltran, that obviously didn’t have to be that bad and still try and score, but Felix (or any player) should not block the plate without the ball.

by batura on Jun 23, 2008 6:18 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Inquiring minds want to know:

Mountain Spring Tide – Lethal or Non-Lethal?

by OlSalty on Jun 23, 2008 5:34 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ready Morrow's cannon

There is a Beltran to bring down from the skies tonight

Captain Raptor and the Space Pirates is one of the greatest literary achievements of the Modern Era.

by Frosty Raptor on Jun 23, 2008 5:35 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Morrow

Is not with the team.

by sixth on Jun 23, 2008 5:36 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Morrow is with the team

He will not be ready to pitch tonight

Captain Raptor and the Space Pirates is one of the greatest literary achievements of the Modern Era.

by Frosty Raptor on Jun 23, 2008 5:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

DO NOT FURTHER PROVOKE THE GODS

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Jun 23, 2008 5:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THERE ARE NO GODS / THERE IS NO GOD

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 5:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THERE WAS A GOD

GOD IS DEAD WITH AN ANKLE SPRAIN

by Jeff on Jun 23, 2008 5:45 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

YES THIS WOULD BE SECRET OPTION C

AND I WOULD SAY GOD WEARS A CUBS UNIFORM BUT THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME NOT THE PLACE

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 5:45 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

MMMM PIE

Your= "belonging to you" You're= "You are" (like the song)

by JI on Jun 23, 2008 10:25 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

NIETZSCHE WAS LIKE 110 YEARS EARLY

As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball.

by acblue on Jun 23, 2008 10:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Mets should give away Johan Santana to the Mariners

for pulling that bullshit

Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; but if a thing is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach.

by Orlando Rays on Jun 23, 2008 5:38 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I feel so empty right now.

After being so high, everything now just feels stupid. Everything is just bleh.

by joof on Jun 23, 2008 5:39 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

THERE IS NO FUCKING FLOOR!

Felix Hernandez hit a Grand Slam off Johan Santana.

by Goose on Jun 23, 2008 5:39 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I WANT TO SEE SOME HEAD HUNTING MR. CORCORAN

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 23, 2008 5:40 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs