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Around SBN: Dan Marino Starting College For Developmentally Disabled

Off Day Diversion: New Mariner Slogan

Tiny by Matthew on in Miscellaneous

Some of you have noticed that "Mojo Risin'" has been removed from the Mariner website in a few places and generally, little has been paid attention to what was once a slogan of hope and cliche marketing.

Coincidentally enough, the Mariners first introduced the phrase "Sodo Mojo" in late 2000 as they stretched toward the playoffs that fall1 and just like the 2000 and 2001 seasons caused the Mariner front office to fall in love with veterans, the Mariner PR office fell in love with the Mojo phrase and found all sorts of ways to cannibalize it ("Viva La Mojo"? Are you kidding me?) in order to try and keep it fresh and exciting for a populace that generally seemed to tire of it quickly.

Further coincidentally, the phrase "Mojo Risin'" was first conceived in late 2000 by the Seattle P-I as part of a search for an unofficial slogan for the 2000 playoffs2 but came in second to "That's What I'm Talkin' About!". So the Mariners slogan for the better part of the last eight years has been some form of "SoDo Mojo" and when 2008 rolled around and they decided they needed to change it again; instead of finally breaking with the past and going in a new direction, they looked back to what almost worked in 2000. There's no other way around it; Mojo Risin' is Arthur Rhodes and it's clear to me that the pathological need to ignore the effects of aging and attempt to recapture past glory is not limited to just personnel decision makers. This whole team needs to clean house or we might be in danger of hearing "Who Let the Dogs Out" next time a Mariner rally takes place (currently scheduled for sometime in August).

Digression aside, and inspired by Jeff's "2008 Seattle Mariners: Career Destroyer", I think it's high time we put our amazing creative forces together to come up with a new Ms slogan. Bonus points will go to humor, realism and funny jpegs. It's easy to come up with expletives on how much we suck (2008 Mariners: Nowhere Close to Fucking the Man), but it's funnier if the slogan is something that could pass at least one round of corporate filtering (2008 Mariners: Ahoy Future!).

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Tell them how you came up with Viva La Mojo

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Jun 19, 2008 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

I dont remember the story but I did

I also started using the phrase “Pray for Mojo” in 2001, years before you suckas started copying it.

by Robert on Jun 19, 2008 4:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

2008 Mariners - "Baseball" Team

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 2:07 PM PDT reply actions  

Foo Fighters Let It Die is playing in the background as I'm reading the post

So, why’d you have to go and let it die M’s management? Huh? And by that, I’m talking about Ichiro’s prime.

"Dragons" are actually dinosaurs hunted to extinction by man in the Middle Ages. Check your Chinese calendars people.

by Frosty Raptor on Jun 19, 2008 2:08 PM PDT reply actions  

The Seattle Mariners:

somethingsomethingCOFFEEsomethingsomethingRAINSALOTsomethingsomething

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jun 19, 2008 2:08 PM PDT reply actions  

PANTHER

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Fuck off.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Jun 19, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

Thomas J. Glover and the ubiquitous Pocket Reference would like a word with you sir

City – Annual rainfall in inches
Boston, MA – 43.8
Miami, FL – 57.5
Mobile, AL – 64.6 (WTF?)
New York, NY – 44.1
Seattle, WA – 38.6

"Dragons" are actually dinosaurs hunted to extinction by man in the Middle Ages. Check your Chinese calendars people.

by Frosty Raptor on Jun 19, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yup, lived in Seattle for a lot of years

I was going the “lazy stereotype” route. I couldn’t figure out a way to fit the Pike Place Market in there.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jun 19, 2008 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ahem.

Number of rainy days:
Boston, MA – 126
Miami, FL – 129
Mobile, AL – 122
New York, NY – 118
Seattle, WA – 154

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

Touche

"Dragons" are actually dinosaurs hunted to extinction by man in the Middle Ages. Check your Chinese calendars people.

by Frosty Raptor on Jun 19, 2008 2:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

less than half? that DOES seem low...

I would’ve guessed 250

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Jun 19, 2008 8:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

Let me make an edit

somethingsomethingCOFFEEsomethingsomethingRAINSALOTsomethingsomethingGRUNGEsomethingsomethingSPACENEEDLEsomethingsomethingGREY’SANATOMYsomethingsomething

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 19, 2008 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oops

somethingsomethingCOFFEEsomethingsomethingRAINSALOTsomethingsomethingGRUNGEsome
-thingsomethingSPACENEEDLEsomethingsomethingGREY’SANATOMYsomethingsomething

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 19, 2008 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

dont forget Dead like me

and Frasier

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Jun 19, 2008 8:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

Both of those shows are cancelled though

right? When I tell people who I knew in Florida I live in Seattle, they basically ask me if it rains alot and if its like Grey’s Anatomy, and I have to tell them I don’t know because I don’t watch that show.

O yea, Reaper amongst other shows are based in Seattle, but are really filmed in Vancouver. If you live in or near Seattle its pretty easy to tell it isn’t Seattle though.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 20, 2008 12:26 AM PDT up reply actions  

2008-Our DH hits third in the order and bunts!

Thus, “Expect the unexp….are you fucking kidding me?”

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 19, 2008 2:16 PM PDT reply actions  

With respect to pdb:

“The Seattle Mariners – Durocher was right.”

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 19, 2008 2:18 PM PDT reply actions  

I really resisted calling it NGFL

but now I think I should have.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jun 19, 2008 2:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

2008 Seattle Mariners - Where Veteran Entitlement Means Everything

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 2:21 PM PDT reply actions  

True Grit

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 19, 2008 2:25 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Nice.

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

by Aaron Campeau on Jun 19, 2008 2:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

2008 Seattle Mariners - GET OFF MY LAWN!

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 2:25 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Seattle Mariners

Old fashioned baseball.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on Jun 19, 2008 2:30 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners-Making the wave more interesting than baseball*

*I do not condone this, however.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 19, 2008 2:37 PM PDT reply actions  

And 3D Hat Trick!

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

Everyone has that. The Hydros are unique.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 19, 2008 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

I figured as much, but the Hydros are rigged

All 3 boats are sponsored by companies, but the biggest sponsor (Comcast) has the most wins. Cheaters

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not everyone has

the EXTREME hat trick.

(Which oddly enough seems to be brought out only when we’re down by 5 or more…which is quite often this year)

I'm more like I am now than I've ever been.

by ralphie81 on Jun 20, 2008 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

This will only work after Vidro is gone, but...

The Seattle Mariners – We fired the entire cast of one of our commercials (Pepe one)

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 2:38 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Seattle Mariners - We're not just a bad baseball team

We’re a complete nine-inning train wreck system

What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?

by rickpo on Jun 19, 2008 2:56 PM PDT reply actions  

Well played

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Winner.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

I can not help myself. Here is my try

2008 Mariners

Do you see what happens Seattle? This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass Seattle!

The Big Lebowski

Mike Scioscia’s baseball reference page says hello.


http://www.baseball-reference.com/s/sciosmi01.shtml

Seattle I would like to thank you for sucking. It allows me to get back to my roots: Hating Fremont.

by hauldog on Jun 19, 2008 3:03 PM PDT reply actions  

Mariners Baseball: What a Mess!


Throwback to the amazing 2005 commercials, especially the one starring Pokey Reese.

by dkulich on Jun 19, 2008 3:08 PM PDT reply actions  

I hit singles in mine...ALL the time!

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Jun 19, 2008 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

2008 Seattle Mariners- Join The Revolution!

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 19, 2008 3:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Since Mojo Risin' is a Doors reference

How about

2008 Seattle Mariners: Less Fun Than Dying In Paris

by bennoj on Jun 19, 2008 3:29 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

The End

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 19, 2008 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

My attempts:

2008 Seattle Mariners: The best baseball team in all of Hawaii, Alaska, Oregon, Montana, Idaho, and Washington (the state)

2008 Seattle Mariners: Where every fifth day is Felix Day

2008 Seattle Mariners: Not moving the team to Oklahoma City, even if you wish we would

2008 Seattle Mariners: But, the ESPN guys picked us first in the West.

by andrewgolfsalot on Jun 19, 2008 3:30 PM PDT reply actions  

Your 2008 Seattle Mariners: We're changing this fucking shit around!

Your 2008 Seattle Mariners: Hope for Old People
Your 2008 Seattle Mariners: Hurt by Ichiro
Your 2008 Seattle Mariners: At least we’re not…ah shit, San Francisco is better than us now.
Your 2008 Seattle Mariners: Coach/Butthol approved

by BrianL on Jun 19, 2008 3:38 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 mid-season slogan:

2008 Seattle Mariners – Batten down the hatches
2008 Seattle Mariners – keep an even keel and wait for fair winds and calm seas

by kdbseattle on Jun 19, 2008 3:43 PM PDT reply actions  

We had the best slogan already before we even started this thread.`

2008 Mariners – It Can Always Get Worse

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Jun 19, 2008 3:47 PM PDT reply actions  

Or alternatively

2008 Mariners – This is going to get worse before it gets better

by ningwers on Jun 19, 2008 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

2008 Mariners

Don’t worry, he’ll probably be gone soon

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

by Mariner John on Jun 19, 2008 3:48 PM PDT reply actions  

Seattle Mariners Baseball: Maybe Someday

2008 Seattle Mariners: Get In on the Ground Floor
2008 Seattle Mariners: Don’t Suffer Alone
2008 Seattle Mariners: Schadenfreude Starts at $15/Ticket
2008 Seattle Mariners: We’ve All Had Bad Days….
2008 Seattle Mariners: The Future Can’t Be Worse
2008 Seattle Mariners: It Stops Hurting After a While
2008 Seattle Mariners: Other Teams Play Here Too! / Hosting MLB’s Best

by marc w on Jun 19, 2008 3:49 PM PDT reply actions  

I know the Twins' slogan used to be

“Get to know ‘em”

Meanwhile, the current M’s have hit on something that works really well… there are a lot of signs outside the ballpark that say “Celebrate the Tradition.” All the pictures they use are in the navy-and-teal era, forgetting all about the time-honored Mariner tradition of placing sixth in the American League West.

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Jun 19, 2008 3:52 PM PDT reply actions  

Mariners Baseball

Wave ‘em in (and then get them thrown out by 20 feet).

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Jun 19, 2008 3:55 PM PDT reply actions  

Mariners Baseball: Do It For Dave

Or perhaps a nice, simple, “Sorry, Mr. Niehaus.”

by Spoomeister on Jun 19, 2008 4:08 PM PDT reply actions  

I'll go with the McLaren quote.

2008 Seattle Mariners—A Total Team Fucking Effort

by Teej on Jun 19, 2008 4:10 PM PDT reply actions  

The 2008 Seattle Mariners:

Give us a new stadium because we obviously can’t compete in the old one.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jun 19, 2008 4:11 PM PDT reply actions  

Garland could very well be a Mariner next year.

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 19, 2008 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

needs more Eckstein

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Jun 19, 2008 4:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

I was going to say we could sign Dunn for veteran leadership,

but according to J.P. Ricciardi, Adam Dunn doesn’t like baseball. So he’s probably be a pretty shitty role model.

Maybe we’ll sign Dunn and Burrell to six-year deals and Burrell to will play center field.

by Teej on Jun 19, 2008 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

I hope so, so he can drive YOU crazy watching him pitch.

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 19, 2008 6:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

You can have Gary Matthews Jr., great CF, and Justin Speier for relief help too.

We’ll taking a top pitching prospect to be named later in 2009. Ha, ha.

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 19, 2008 7:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

Strassburg is ours and you can't have him

You can run, but you can't hide! Unless it's in this general area over here. Blindspot.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 19, 2008 10:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

But you need a whole team, what good is one rookie pitcher going to do?

Think of what you can get in return. I hate to see such a nice young man have to start his professional major league career on a team like the Mariners.

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 20, 2008 12:07 AM PDT up reply actions  

In that case then he will definitely be on the Red Sox

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 20, 2008 12:31 AM PDT up reply actions  

You are not in the Mountain West anymore Dorothy

Seattle I would like to thank you for sucking. It allows me to get back to my roots: Hating Fremont.

by hauldog on Jun 20, 2008 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions  

You know,

I’m gonna miss seeing that face after every game.

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

A few more

2008 Seattle Mariners—Ichiro’s Smiling!

2008 Seattle Mariners—“No One Had the Nerve”

by Teej on Jun 19, 2008 4:34 PM PDT reply actions  

The 2008 Seattle Mariners

Now with seats even closer to Ichiro!

by JordanB on Jun 19, 2008 4:36 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners

Ichiro gets to wear out his grass patch in right field again!

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

The 2008 Seattle Mariners:

If a thousand internet fanboys can make it fun, so can you!

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 19, 2008 4:38 PM PDT reply actions  

Mariners Baseball

Because if you wanted to see girls kiss, you should have gone to Capitol Hill.

by JordanB on Jun 19, 2008 4:39 PM PDT reply actions  

Mariners Baseball

Oh the insanity!
Oh the inanity!
Oh the Japanity!

by JordanB on Jun 19, 2008 4:42 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners

Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” on grass!

by Slica on Jun 19, 2008 4:48 PM PDT reply actions  

Ha

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

2008 Mariners

You must be this tall to play first base:

|
6’8” |
-

by Slica on Jun 19, 2008 4:56 PM PDT reply actions  

Alternates

2008 Seattle Mariners: Now accepting applications
2008 Seattle Mariners: Come see the Red Sox
2008 Seattle Mariners: Suicide is painless
2008 Seattle Mariners: No….. seriously.

by Jar on Jun 19, 2008 4:59 PM PDT reply actions  

Mariners Baseball: You can't look away!

You know, I’ve been quiet through most of this thing. Today I realized that watching a train wreck can be entertaining. That’s how I’m approaching this season from now on.

by amnesiak on Jun 19, 2008 5:06 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners

We’re not dumb, but we can pretend.

by Slica on Jun 19, 2008 5:16 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners:

“We’ll siphon every last ethereal ounce of soul from you until all that’s left is an eviscerated husk and the echoing of your last shrieking wail of agony in the wretched bloodstained halls of hell. Catch it live!”

"Dragons" are actually dinosaurs hunted to extinction by man in the Middle Ages. Check your Chinese calendars people.

by Frosty Raptor on Jun 19, 2008 5:24 PM PDT reply actions  

Seattle Mariners Baseball

3 Hours in our Specialized Tanning Seats for as low as $15!

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 19, 2008 6:29 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners: Who Shot the Albatross

Or 2008 Mariners: We Tried Hard, and Failed Miserably. The Lesson Is, Never Try

I'd rather know a little about a lot than a lot about a little

by Sportszilla on Jun 19, 2008 7:49 PM PDT reply actions  

We shot the Albatross.

2008 Mariners: Listen to the Nightmare of the Sea
2008 Mariners: As Idle as a Painted Ship Upon a Painted Ocean

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Jun 19, 2008 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

The Seattle Mariners:

There is no floor.

"It didn’t really bother me at all," Johnson said. "If it would have, he’d probably be in a stretcher and I’d be out of the game."

~Randy Johnson on Doug Mientkiewicz taking too long to step into the batters box

by Goose on Jun 19, 2008 7:55 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners: This ship has sailed.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 19, 2008 8:05 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners: "Fuck you," she explained.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Jun 19, 2008 8:37 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners: Retro-Mariners, 1978-style

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on Jun 19, 2008 8:41 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Seattle Mariners: We don't fucking care what you think.

2008 Seattle Mariners: SABRmetrically dis-inclined.

2008 Seattle Mariners: Rats and monkies wont be anywhere near your food.

2008 Seattle Mariners: Eat a dick, baseball fans!

2008 Seattle Mariners: You should be used to this by now…

One that could slip through the cracks at the office: 2008 Seattle Mariners: What’ll happen next!!!

by Omerta on Jun 19, 2008 9:59 PM PDT reply actions  

Rats and Monkies one made me laugh.

The internet destabilizes every hierarchy it contacts.

by 44FAN on Jun 20, 2008 12:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

The 2008 Seattle Mariners: FREE BEER!!

You can run, but you can't hide! Unless it's in this general area over here. Blindspot.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 19, 2008 10:15 PM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners: They Are Just Underachieving, Right?

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 20, 2008 12:33 AM PDT reply actions  

2008 Mariners: We Fiddle Cat while Rome Burns.

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know baseball. Yes, I even drink beer.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Jun 20, 2008 7:46 AM PDT reply actions   2 recs

2008 Mariners: Lose the Refuse

Not original with me; received in an e-mail

by Steve Nelson on Jun 20, 2008 11:31 AM PDT reply actions  

"Come Watch Us Play Till The New Boss Says DFA!!"

“Hey, We Would Hit Better In The King Dome DAMN IT!”

“2008 Seattle Mariners: At Least We Got Rid Of Fairly!”

“Who Cares…Were Moving To Oklahoma City Anyway”

“2008 Mariners-Thats Not Garlic Fries You’re Smelling Mister”

by MarinerMooseIsMyLoveChild on Jun 20, 2008 12:44 PM PDT reply actions  

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