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6/17: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Top of the 4th:

called strike (change)
called strike (change)
swinging strike (curve)
called strike (fastball)
swinging strike (fastball)
swinging strike (fastball)
called strike (curve)
swinging strike (fastball)
called strike (slider)

Give Felix however much money he wants right the fuck now.

0 recs  |  Comment 621 comments

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25-46

Jun 2008 by Jeff - 43 comments

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Willie hits one out of the infield!!

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 17, 2008 8:07 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Willie 2-2.

He has just bought himself 3 months of playing time.

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:07 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND

HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND HOT HAND

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

what flavor is a felix pie

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 17, 2008 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

BTW Jeff the Hamilton HR

I was referring to was th 9th inning one against JJ. Followed by the injury

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Jun 17, 2008 8:08 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I wish.

That led to the closer by committe that ended Potatoes’ MLB season

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Jun 17, 2008 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Preceded by Michael Young getting on base.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Uh oh.

Yuni bunting.

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:09 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Just pay up.....

Put whatever Felix wants in his contract. If he wants 30 shaved teen boys in his hotel room after every road game…make it happen. I don’t care.

by PLU Tim on Jun 17, 2008 8:09 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Shit.

I thought that was gone.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:12 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I ::heart:: Dave Sims, but

he really needs to get better at calling fly balls and home runs. Still, he hasn’t been a baseball broadcaster for very long so he should get some slack.

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on Jun 17, 2008 8:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

dammit

brb. I have to explain to someone why Beltre is good.

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

He's someone I have to spend a lot of time with as it is

There’s almost so much “I don’t understand why you guys signed Beltre. He’s untradeable.” that one can stand.

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:18 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

LOAFIE!

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

J-Lo is the shit

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 17, 2008 8:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

My mom and aunt love Sangria

What’s special about it? Is it sweet or something?

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:17 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Okay, Vidro

Grab a bat and kill this rally!

by Paytheline on Jun 17, 2008 8:14 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

He should shave the handle of his bat down really thin

So each time he swings and makes contact it breaks…that is the only value he brings. The potential for taking out other players (ours included)

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 17, 2008 8:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

a BALL?!

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

WOOOOO

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 17, 2008 8:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

K!

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on Jun 17, 2008 8:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

How many Ks is is?

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

MORE BENDY THINGS

PLEASE MAKE SWEET PASSIONATE LOVE TO ME FELIX!

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Grounder

somehow more awesome

by Jeff on Jun 17, 2008 8:19 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

98mph

He’s throwing really easy up there.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Let's hope Felix is more eager to conclude a long-term deal with an FO headed by someone other than Bavasi.

Jesus Christ is Felix dealing today. Best I’ve seen in him damn near forever. OH NOES THE CONSECUTIVE STRIKEOUT BINGE WAS BROKEN UP BY AN EASY GROUNDBALL!

Sign this kid long-term, for fuck’s sake.

by esoteric on Jun 17, 2008 8:19 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I thought they said 30 earlier.

This is much more impressive.

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on Jun 17, 2008 8:19 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

WAHOOOOOO

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 17, 2008 8:20 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I've never heard of a fast change.

I mean, a 90mph change is faster then Washburn’s fastball. There’s something cosmically wrong with a “fast change”.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well yeah

I suppose relative to Moyer’s changeup, Felix’s changeup is a “fast changeup”... but

You’re just fucking with me, aren’t you?

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No, Felix also has a change that clocks in around 85

that pitch is the mystery pitch that acts like a split or a slow 2-seamer or a fast change (for him).

by Matthew on Jun 17, 2008 8:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

90mph deuce....

hahahaha get the fuck outta here man….

by PLU Tim on Jun 17, 2008 8:20 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This guy's name is John Edwards?

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:21 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

BELTRE!

Mwuahahahahaha!

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:22 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What scares me

Is that Felix was on this caliber of roll a month or two ago, and it ended up being a 4-1 loss on a big 8th inning for the opposition.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:23 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Well this is actually a decent point, but we already have more run support now than we did then

Plus, it’s a lot clearer how to deploy the bullpen. No Putz or Potatoes, and Morrow as your fireman in a pinch.

by esoteric on Jun 17, 2008 8:26 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It was all Felix ER

But he left before he could give up the runs themselves. I think Green blew it all, but got no ER due to the men he inherited on base.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Or personally knew him and disliked him

I have a feeling that’s a decidedly smaller number.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:26 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

By all accounts he was a really neat person

Just shitty at his job, so I’m sure hardly anyone thought badly of him as a person.

by marinator on Jun 17, 2008 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I would think so

Hence

[expletive] Dave Sampson.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Saying a lot...?

Think not.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It makes it funnier, I think

Seeing as that was the censor used in the official release of the statement.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Kobe led Lakers.....

getting anally destroyed. What a brutal performance.

by PLU Tim on Jun 17, 2008 8:25 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I hate Boston sports...

but I also hate the Lakers. I suppose I can be happy with Ray Allen finally getting a ring, though.

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:26 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

So Hancock.

aWesome movie or really awesome movie?

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Jun 17, 2008 8:29 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

meh

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Is that the one co-starring Jason Bateman?

Anything with him gets some credit from me. Guy turned me into a huge fan with Arrested Development.

I also STRONGLY recommend that any fans of Tobias (David Cross) go get their hands on the DVDs of Mr. Show. I prefer the (short) 2nd season the most, but a lot of people like the 3rd or the 4th even more. Either way, check it out, it’s the American Monty Python: hit and miss, but when it hits, look the fuck out.

by esoteric on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Meatball, 93mph, middle of the plate.

Fouled off by Willie.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

slow bat

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 17, 2008 8:32 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

What the fuck is your problem?

He just needs a chance, dammit!

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Basically he'll eventually get a RBI if he gets enough playing time

Such as Cairo.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 17, 2008 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

He doesn't even believe in chemistry!

And wants to be a defect to the NL! Fuck Willie!

FUCK WILLIE!.....

/sob

...bastard…

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

What are you trying to insinuate here, huh?

That Willie can’t hit well?

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Willie K's? SHOCKED

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 17, 2008 8:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I think you mean
:O

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

<:O

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dunce hat?

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ew gross that looks like a weiner

Icky

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I suppose, yes

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

=o

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I hate Boston

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:33 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I don't really dislike any of the players for Boston.

I can disassociate players with city names. Whatever.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I kinda dislike KG

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love Ray Allen

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Boston Red Sox?

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 17, 2008 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Have a Sox scout staying in my hotel tonight

I asked him what was up since the draft was over, said he was just doing his rounds on the high schoolers. He promised me a hat.

I’m torn. I may have to burn it.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love Bostonians

Cept for those Bostonians which = Sox fans circa 2004.

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

What?

Sox fans circa 2004 aren’t bad.
It’s Sox fans circa 2005-present that suck.

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

2004 was the World Series year...

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Sooo Finals MVP:

Jesus or the Truth?

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Jun 17, 2008 8:34 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Huh.

So that’s where Jim Presley went.

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Tallywhack?

SHUT UP VALLE

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 17, 2008 8:35 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ichiro would've gotten that.

Fuck you Willie.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 17, 2008 8:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

so i start watching..

and Felix gives up his 2nd hit..
and his 3rd hit…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Jun 17, 2008 8:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Hm.

This inning is not as awesome.

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

wouldnt' mind a TP

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Jun 17, 2008 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Jesus

That 2-seamer was moving with evil intent. Ramirez had to work to touch it.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

God dammit.

Felix is getting pussy hit to death.

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What a way to go

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Fuck luck

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Super Rhyme Time

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

aww nice try adian

Shave and a haircut two ti- hey hold on.

by PhilKenSebben on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Huh.

Hey God? This is TIF.

KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF.

Sincerely yours,

TIF

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Hey TIF,

You know what you did. This is all your fault.

SIncerely yours,
God

by joof on Jun 17, 2008 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dear God

Don’t make me remind you of the time you clogged a drain with your butt hair, causing that little overflow you had to lie was a “great flood” to wipe out all life on Earth.

Noah’s still pissed at you for that.

Sincerely yours,

TIF

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

By the way, can somebody explain to me why in God's name Ichiro is playing RF now?

I know Jeff’s commented a bit on this already but it’s infuriating. INFURIATING. Ichiro is immensely valuable (and worth his K) as a CF…and nowhere nearly as much as a RF. What in god’s name could have triggered this? Must be more to it than we know.

by esoteric on Jun 17, 2008 8:41 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

When Mac daydreams about Ichiro he's playing RF

So he thinks that is where he belongs. Squinty is losing it.

by marinator on Jun 17, 2008 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Get Kobe up to Seattle

Dude’s probably pissed enough that he’ll rape the entire Marlins roster.

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:41 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Kobe-Durant-Green

Would lead Seattle to to a finals.

Jl/Robert '08: Promise for a CoachCage tomorrow!

by Fin on Jun 17, 2008 8:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

14 straight fastballs this inning = bases loaded, 0 outs

YOU ARE GETTING SMACKED UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH THE LESSON FELIX!! PAY ATTENTION.

by Matthew on Jun 17, 2008 8:41 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I can't tell if Felix is... really dumb...

or just really cocky…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Jun 17, 2008 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

99?

Boy he’s loose.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on Jun 17, 2008 8:42 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

So I was watching the wee minutes of game 6

What is going on Felix??!!

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:42 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Fuck you

I’m willing to fight if anyone wants to.

you + are = you're

by Katal LM on Jun 17, 2008 8:42 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Fuck me down

Coach/Butthol '09: We shall overcome.

by qrsouther on Jun 17, 2008 8:43 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I turn the tv on

4 staright hits, i’m turning off tv now..

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Jun 17, 2008 8:43 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

More like 4 straight balls that somehow didn't get turned into outs

Poor Felix, though the Steady Fastball diet is not working (obviously)

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Jun 17, 2008 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Gee I wonder what Mel is going to say

“Son, I don’t think you’re establishing the fastball. Throw it some more.”

by BrianL on Jun 17, 2008 8:43 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs