5/8: Open Game Thread
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 6:00 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners Game Threads
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PrintTexas Rangers at Seattle Mariners, May 8, 2008 7:10 PM PDT
It doesn't really do me much good anymore to say "hey this pitcher sucks" if the offense refuses to take advantage of it. So
LET'S GO MARINERS!!
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I have a good feeling about this game.
Not only is Felix pitching but it’s our first gamethread with “Jeff” back!
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
Gotta be a mistake.
He didn’t start last night, yet it says he’s started every game he’s been in.
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
Kason Gabbard
Finesse lefty, not Jack Benoit.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
by Ed Coffin on May 8, 2008 6:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Finesse lefty
no control righty
hard throwing veteran
Doesn’t matter, they own us all.
Fearless prediction of failure:
Felix pitches a 10 inning CG on 120 pitches and loses on an unearned run.
...as do goblins, angels, the tooth fairly, the Easter Bunny, smart blondes, Santa Claus.
by JI on May 8, 2008 6:13 PM PDT up reply actions
hobgoblins...hobgoblins...
What do you do with those hobgoblins?
They’re over here! They’re over there!
Those darn hobgoblins are everywhere!
One of these days that's going to happen.
It will not be amusing.
Dear Mariners
Please don’t make me fuck everything today.
Yours,
BrianL
A pointer:
random comment(!) = funny
(did I do it right)?
by JI on May 8, 2008 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions
so what would be the correct way to express
“A random is comment is not necessarily funny.”
?
by JI on May 8, 2008 6:27 PM PDT up reply actions
I was thinking this had to be the day for a new song.
For the first time I was disapointed to hear the tune. Not exactly sure why. But I did feel like everyone needed to know about me disapointment.
I think it should be You're The Voice by John Farnham
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 8, 2008 6:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Personally I'm going with
“Another F.U. Song” by Reel Big Fish
Seems fitting for this team.
The poster formerly known as Matt.
Lineup
51 Ichiro CF
4 Jose Lopez DH
28 Raul Ibanez LF
29 Adrian Beltre 3B
44 Richie Sexson 1B
5 Yuniesky Betancourt SS
50 Wladimir Balentien RF
2 Kenji Johjima C
16 Willie Bloomquist 2B
You rang?
maybe of you ask non-pervert Jeff nicely to sidebar it…
by JI on May 8, 2008 6:23 PM PDT up reply actions
As soon as I officially lose all hope (I'm a game or two away),
I would love to see WFB play every game this season, just so at the end of the year I don’t have to read another “I just want a chance to prove myself” quote. Give him 400 at-bats of .250/.300/.300 awesomeness and dare him to whine more. He still probably would anyway, huh?
We can’t win.
When you have as much grit as Willie does,
you never have enough playing time.
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
Today's game brought to you by the Pink Ranger.
As well as Willie’s scrappy Mighty Morphin brother
Man I just can’t bring myself to get excited for this game…
felix...
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
I'm not sure how I failed
but I’m not surprised. I’ve been failing at all sorts of things today. The fried server at work being one fine example.
Meh. It shows up fine in my screen
even did a preview.
Fail fail fail.
It's OK that's happened to me too
it happens to the best of us
Ll has become my favorite nude celebrity chatroom.
by JI on May 8, 2008 6:34 PM PDT up reply actions
WIllie's fucking scrappy mighty morphin brother
If this doesn’t work I’ll commit ritualistic seppuku.
Don't let Jeff see you making fun of his Rays.
Jeff doesn’t like it when people makes fun of his Rays.
a real mariner going to a mariner's game
how appropriate…except he’s good at what he does while the m’s….aren’t….except felix who always gets a free pass
So for those of you that know Kirby
Felix was behind him at the gas station in Bellevue today and assured Kirby that he’d turn the M’s around today
that takes a back seat to finishing the Dave Sims hat calendar
by JI on May 8, 2008 6:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Can we start a contest
Between Krueger’s hair gel and Sims’ hats?
dear god no
Krueger is seriously Satan incarnate
Woooo Felix!
Boooo Mariners!
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
You can always cheer for King Awesome.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
Because the team valued Greg Norton so highly
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Hell, i think Texas will give you Broussard and maybe even
throw in a crappy reliever to get huglett back…
So I just watched American Beauty for the first time
Cheer me up Felix
Felix is on my opponents fantasy team.....
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Nobody cares about his fantasy team either
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Her actually, it's mind bottling I know.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
things I want to see today:
groundballs from Felix
a good K/BB ratio from Felix
no HRs allowed by Felix
Runs scored?
Do you want to see the Mariners score runs?
I'm hoping for a Mariners win, 0 to -1
Clearly this was how Bavasi thought we’d win games this season.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Also:
I believe the Mariners might have some prior art when it comes to offensive futility.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:16 PM PDT up reply actions
I am sad to say that after a month plus of free MLB Extra Innings
It is now gone.. Easy come easy go. :-(
I guess sitting in the freezing cold watching WFB strike out wasn't enough for the mariners.
Now I have to sit at home and watch his retarded ass all game.
Thanks, M’s. I fucking hate you.
Uh, what?
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
Adam Jones throws him out.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Nice throw Raul.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
We all know he's been watching
might as well make his presence known.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Great.
Nice to give Felix a must-win game in MAY. Jesus Christ.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:19 PM PDT reply actions
dammit
we didnt even get to bat before we lost the game today.
that sucks. not as much as our offense. but it sucks.
Sounds like a personal problem
don’t know why people feel so compelled to bring them up in game threads.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:21 PM PDT up reply actions
If we're going to carry this many pitchers
we could at least keep the she likes.
by Smegmalicious on May 8, 2008 7:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Got yourself a keeper.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Cooking experiment part II: I'm cooking chicken nuggets.
Don’t worry, I covered it in saran wrap
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 8, 2008 7:21 PM PDT reply actions
T/F
Felix’s pitch counts this year have affected his control
New Orleans vs. San Antonio...trust me..its worth watching
I fucking hate you Mariners
Just switched
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
couple Wake Forest grads
my school pwns the NBA
Even Dave knows we're boned after 2 runs have been scored.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
Graham would be denied Jeff Clement
OK, Wlad’s in the lineup, but still… :(
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Its really easy
Just click the pic of the tree and enter the URL
Hellfuckinglo
Fucking Mariners fucking suck fucking ass.
Oh and the Rangers lead the AL in strikeouts
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Someone needs to excitedly wake up graham and tell him to turn on the game
Make him suffer with the rest of us
ACTUAL SURPRISE
DOES NOT COUNT
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 8, 2008 7:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Corcoromance isn't a bannable offense?
Clearly this ain’t USSM.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:28 PM PDT up reply actions
This is for JI's benefit.
Who is hotter?
Jennifer Morrison
or
Anne Dudek
There is only one right answer.
At work folks...
I don’t want to get promoted.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 8, 2008 7:35 PM PDT up reply actions
I know
But you honestly think my IT nazis would give a shit? In the modeling industry that picture is commonly referred to as a “glamour shot”, which while I know is relatively innocent and supposedly artistic, doesn’t really get past my bosses nose as anything other then non nude porn.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 8, 2008 7:40 PM PDT up reply actions
Jennifer Morrison, needs more rack though
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Here we go again...
Get ready for our offense to make any pitcher look like Cy Young on his best day.
Ouch
I thought he was a good bench bat. They suck though so maybe they just need youth space.
That was probably the most easily fielded ground ball by a pitcher ever
Right to his glove hand, enough lead and everything
Who is hotter?
Gerald “Walking-Methlab” Laird
or
Ramon “Porn Stache” Vazquez
There is only one right answer
by redwolf75 on May 8, 2008 7:30 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Laird seems like an ALL CAPS kind of typer
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Autism speaks
I fucking hate you Mariners
Laird has the exact expression I'd expect to see when Vidro sees a hotdog he's about to eat.
by Smegmalicious on May 8, 2008 7:32 PM PDT up reply actions
You know I don't think porn moustaches exist anymore
I think a more modern term would be “gay barista” moustache.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Wait
Saw this part already. Someone put the other reel on, quick.
by Lents Park Homer on May 8, 2008 7:33 PM PDT reply actions
I have to disagree.
At this point, it’s compelling. How many innings can we go without scoring? Let’s set a record for futility.
Hey, Brian
Would you say you were in fucking heaven or fucking hell during your one man fucking odyssey?
"Richie Sexson with some family things to take care of..."
Sexson: What’s going on?
Dad: Richie, we got together and decided it was time for an intervention.
Mom: Yes, w-
Sexson: What? Why?
Brother: Richie… you can’t hide it from us… you have a problem…
Mom: Denial’s always the first stage.
Richie: Yes bu-
Dad: Son, you fucking suck.
He's gonna hit a homer.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
I was one batter too early.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
FUCK GINOBILI IN THE FUCKING EAR
I fucking hate you Mariners
Yesterday's Ump
Was almost as blind as this Jizz-Slurper
Suck It! If you don't know what IT is, then I can't help you.
No Dave
The next great kids giveaway will be WLAD, Clement and two other prospects for a veteran slugger.
Carlos Delgado is available
/slashes wrists down the road
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:42 PM PDT up reply actions
This team *doesn't* make me want to cry
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 8, 2008 7:41 PM PDT reply actions
That's a sad movie?
He could at least give Beaches a spin.
by JI on May 8, 2008 7:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Well I guess I won't be seeing that movie ever
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:43 PM PDT up reply actions
you haven't seen it?
Also, that’s not a spoiler.
I was knock flat on my ass
when I learned Scott Bakula could act
by JI on May 8, 2008 7:45 PM PDT up reply actions
We've had the Enterprise discussion, but can we all agree that Quantum Leap was awesome?
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
Netflix it and watch it.
It’s fantastic.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
I need to find an English-moron online dictionary
by Jeff Sullivan on May 8, 2008 7:44 PM PDT up reply actions
that's easy
just talk to [person you want to insult] and have [pronoun] repeat back what you said.
Not if we win every game after this one, which is a perfectly reasonable assumption
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 8, 2008 7:43 PM PDT up reply actions
If you think this is a 90-win true talent team
you’re an idiot
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Before he goes out...
I want to see him plant one right between the eyes of this asshole.
Why do you hate Hamilton
Just because he’s really good?
Hamilton isn't the problem.
The ump is the problem.
Where the hell was pitch 5?
Gameday says it was right above the knees
Felicks
Can he go 120 pitches through 4 and still get the win?
Suck It! If you don't know what IT is, then I can't help you.
Look at it this way
It’s entirely possible that losing this game with Felix getting the living shit beat out of him would be the absolute low point of the entire season.
I’m trying to think of a way of looking at it that doesn’t involve seppuku.
by Lents Park Homer on May 8, 2008 7:48 PM PDT reply actions
Remember: the series is brought to you by potassium cyanide.
That wasn’t an accident.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:49 PM PDT up reply actions
Again..FUCK GINOBILI IN THE EAR DRUM
I fucking hate you Mariners
If the Sonics left, Seattle
could conceivably get the Hornets. Or the Grizzlies, which would be considerably less awesome.
The Grizzlies are much more likely
and we’d probably be so apathetic towards basketball we’d lose that team too after a couple losing seasons.
If we could swoon the Hornets to come here I’d bust a freaking nut.
pull Felix
there’s no point and you’re making him throw too many pitches in a row.
So if we lose this we are 8 games back
And Lackey is back pretty soon.
Remember Dave Cameron saying this on Tuesday?
“If the Mariners don’t win three of the next five games, they can cash in their chips and go home. The deficit would just be too large to believe that anything short of a miracle could cause them to win the division.”
Good times.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Ah, I remember when we had optimism
You know, Mariners optimism, completely unrelated to real optimism.
Well I'm just going to get a head start on fucking everything tonight.
Anyone care to join me?
Enjoying some of the official drink of this series yet?
Hmm, smells like almonds.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Maybe if they used lots of cream and clear...
... they could all get suspended, and we’d spend the rest of the year watching AAA Tacoma play MLB teams.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Okay it has to be said
We are playing way below our potential
Good Felix has shown up
Obviously it was FelixS pitching those last few innings.
by eponymous_coward on May 8, 2008 7:59 PM PDT reply actions
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