You captivate with foibles and mistakes both great and small
You captivate with slip-ups and you cannot hit the ball
You dazzle us with errors and unyielding resolve
To make sure that effectiveness you seldom do involve

There was a time months long ago I thought that I would like
To watch a team that at its peak is stronger than the Reich
But with the constant losing there's a truth that I have found
That when a team is bad both joy and merriment abound

I know it might sound funny to the people back northeast
And even in Los Angeles they think we're getting fleeced
"Last place," they say, "would make me want to follow other things
And focus on activities that sweet September brings"

But I find losing comfortable, and in its warm embrace
The memories of Ottawa I'm able to erase
It's freeing when you have your expectations set so low
I couldn't give a crap about another lousy throw

There's humor in incompetence and laughs in being weak
There's always something funny in a ten-game losing streak
Perhaps the fans of winning teams will never understand
But comedy runs rampant with a team so poorly manned

Yet bad teams aren't for everyone, I'll certainly admit
You're free to choose your favorite team just as you would see fit
I guess what I am saying could be written simply thus:
Leaving winning to the winners and the losing up to us.