5/7: Open Game Thread, Part 3
by JeffS on May 7, 2008 9:01 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners Game Threads
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It appears this team thinks the only way to score runs is with the long ball
There looks to be a complete refusal to score runs any other way or swing for anything other than a home run.
There's a fatal flaw in that scene
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions
?
Related stories on Lookout Landing
- 5/7: Open Game Thread, Part 2 about 8 hours ago
???
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:04 PM PDT reply actions
8 hours ago?
Beluga Tits wasn’t pitching
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:24 PM PDT up reply actions
If I cut off the top of my cake could I eat it?
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 9:05 PM PDT reply actions
Gameday barely thinks that's a strike
Joe’s Tracer probably puts it somewhere in the Sound.
GEOFF BAKER BLAMES WLAD!!!
I fucking hate you Mariners
Fuck Geoff Baker.
Fuck Chuck Armstrong
Fuck Howard Lincoln
Fuck Bill Bavasi
Fuck Nintendo
Fuck everyone employed by this fucking awful franchise.
I still have a collection of polo shirts
and an autographed Josh Brown football.
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Who's doing the fucking?
Is this related to how we were instructed to fuck everything?
Why am I watching?
Do I have a sick enjoyment of pain?
If/when we lose we'll be in sole possession of last place in the AL
Also we failed to put the ball in play that inning
Just let that child-molester-looking mofo
bend us over and ream us
YEAH UNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
by Lents Park Homer on May 7, 2008 9:12 PM PDT reply actions
Thanks, Chuck, you magnificent bastard.
You’ve sealed this team’s doom by the infamous “vote of confidence”.
I pick August 13th for Mac being fired, October 1 for Bavasi.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:13 PM PDT reply actions
August 13 is my birthday.
This would be all the birthday present I could ask for.
by andrewgolfsalot on May 7, 2008 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Walk Walk KKK
We all could have done that… why are they getting paid?
by mariners124m on May 7, 2008 9:14 PM PDT reply actions
Huh, this game is still going?
I fell asleep in my chair.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
I have never talked about anything other than the game.
Sure, blame me. What else is new.
THERE'S GREEN!!!!!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey look at it this way the Angels lost
So we’ll still only be 7.5 games behind 1st place wooooooooo
*Dick to the face*
I fucking hate you Mariners
I hate the fucking tube slide
I always feel like I’ll get stuck
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:22 PM PDT up reply actions
I've actually found there to be more 3rd grade girls at the space needle for field trips
...
that’s not what you meant?
Oakland won.
Ergo, we are now behind TWO teams by almost double digits.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:18 PM PDT up reply actions
What's to be written?
That hasn’t already been written 100 times this season already. It’s wash rinse repeat with this shit.
We need a recap that's like one of these game threads
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions
I'll write now and save Jeff the trouble
OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS
You've now written the recaps for the rest of the season.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Thuhhhhhhh Sun'll come out tomorrow
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 9:22 PM PDT up reply actions
RAIN RAIN RAIN!
I fucking hate you Mariners
Better?
OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS OFFENSE SUCKS
It is pretty sad when the announcers get all worked up about how well the
defense covered that bunt.
Huh, Carlos Gomez hit for the cycle.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
So where was that pitch, ump!?
That was good enough to ring Yuni up!
Rhodes is 1 ball away from killing the umpire
I fucking hate you Mariners
crazy liberal
I fucking hate you Mariners
I'm too depressed to determine the seriousness of your posts.
I need a happy song in the worst way.
Gomez apparently hit for the cycle on my bench
I fucking hate you Mariners
Nobody cares amirite.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
No shit.
Hey..bases loaded…get the guy that throws like a frisbee!
I fucking hate you Mariners
Buckle your seat belts
We are about to hit the .400 mark
That's good if you're talking avg or obp....
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Thats an outstanding batting average!
I fucking hate you Mariners
I insist that you pore through last night's game thread and find out
come back to report your findings.
He's black...
so my initial guess is going to be yes.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Wade Boggs' totally illegitimate love child
by Lents Park Homer on May 7, 2008 9:28 PM PDT reply actions
Burke for goalkeeper!
I fucking hate you Mariners
about as realistic as the M's scoring some runs here
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
speaking of this
I have what I feel will be an irresistible urge to give any offspring of mine foreign first names. just to fuck with them.
Burke, Cairo, Ichiro?
I never thought I’d say this but…
THERE HAD BETTER BE A VIDRO SIGHTING IN THIS INNING
No..he hacks too much..I have faith in a Burke walk.
I fucking hate you Mariners
Good news: Vidro sighting.
Bad news: it’s at the hot dog vendor.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:32 PM PDT up reply actions
You're as disappointing as the Mariners
that was the only thing we had to look forward to in this game
there's picture of Captain picard giving the brid
further up the thread
Will that hold you over?
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Perhaps
I’m just not sure if we’ll ever have another baserunner
OK
Burke bloop single, PH Vidro for Cairo, line drive up the middle, Ichiro double, JoLo bunt, Ibanez IBB, Beltre walk, Clement GSFB!
Butters is too awesome to be associated with Coach.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
Coach is like a lame version of Butters.
When I read his comments I hear Big bird’s voice.
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Outstanding performance by [opposing pitcher]
I’m so tired of hearing that.
PH!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK
I fucking hate you Mariners
Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo.
Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo. Pinch hit for Cairo.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY
THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY THIS IS WORSE THAN SQUINTY
The hell you say.
If we’re going to lose, let’s do it in style. Fuck, bring back Bill Plummer.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Cairo hitting ever: FAIL
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Was that a Cairo FB?
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
Missed the bat flip
I fucking hate you Mariners
and the inside the park grand slam awesomeness
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Don't lump dan the man in with cairo....
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Let's all just listen to Three Little Birds over and over again until this game disappears
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 9:38 PM PDT reply actions
2 Hits Against Texas Pitching
13th place: LA 4.44 ERA
14th pace: Texas 5.08 ERA
This is better than any joke Coach could come up with.
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Here's a suggestion
Jokes work better when they are actually funny.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions
That was a pop-up
And the ball is white..he has a built in sensors for shit that color
I fucking hate you Mariners
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
I fucking hate you Mariners
Wow i thought that was funk god damnit
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Fuck camera men...
I fucking hate you Mariners
Fuck this shit I hate this shit
This is the most boring offense I’ve had the displeasure of watching since ever
STOP FUCKING WITH ME CAMERA MAN!!!!
fucking cunt bag piece of shit fucker. die in a housefire.
Wait your god damn turn, will you?
I’m working on fucking everything.
Cameraman has his iphone/blackberry/[insert internet phone] out...
Reading LL and being like, hey this shit is working “LOL”
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Youre on fire tonight.
I find you funnier when lacking hope.
In honor of our 1.99 ERA Starter with no run support
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
oh my god
this is what I look like to everyone else
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions
If you ban him
can you at least un-ban him once a month for our entertainment?
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:56 PM PDT up reply actions
Fiar enough...
Sorry, I didn’t realize all such things were dead memes… I’ll keep it down
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by Robert Lintott on May 7, 2008 9:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Why do the Mariners org do any of the stupid things they do?
because they are sado masochistic fan-enjoyment rapists
At the rate we're going, everything will become a dead meme and we'll have to just look at the open game thread with appreciative silence
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 9:53 PM PDT reply actions
We can only have as many posts as the M's get hits.
I fucking hate you Mariners
What the fuck is your problem?
Will no one else in the non-internet world pay attention to you?
by JI on May 7, 2008 9:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Checklist of funny:
1) Did Coach say it?
2) Did Coach intend for it to be serious?
If you answered yes to both questions…
What if you end up with
1) no
2) yes
?
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 10:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Maybe Coach is just so smart that his humor is on a different level than ours.
His IQ is over 120, just so you know
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Who likes to Rock the party? Who likes to rock the party? Who likes to rock the party?
...
...
I like to rock the party
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 9:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Hydrogen cyanide?
It is the official drink of the series, after all.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:58 PM PDT up reply actions
I thought it was KCN, potassium cyanide
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
OK, so add some potassium hydroxide to it.
Problem solved.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 10:02 PM PDT up reply actions
because of tonight's game
I’m going to kill bare minimum 100 innocent victims tonight in Liberty City. The madness
I saw an Amish dude the other day.
Headshot :)
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
In that case
I take back my German post earlier.
Dont click
On lilmissbeautypageants on the ingame internet.
Just dont.
Have you gotten Kate to put out yet?
I’ve taken her on like 6 dates and no luck yet.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Kate?
Not that far into the game, I’m barely passed the part where the first girl double crossed me.
Ahh yeah, that bitch, when you get to Kate, don't bother, she never gives it up
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
If you're keeping track
8 of the M’s 10 smallest crowds at Safeco are in 2008
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 9:58 PM PDT reply actions
If you're Howard Lincoln
you would know this is caused by global warming.
by Lents Park Homer on May 7, 2008 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions
if there were more fans
global warming wouldn’t be such an issue!
There'll be lots of fans finding fault this season
Chuck needs to be reminded of the 1980’s.
by eponymous_coward on May 7, 2008 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Old Morrow is back
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Watch out..he may uncork one your way...by accident.
I fucking hate you Mariners
WILLIE BOOM BOOM
The towel, it is thrown in
by Lents Park Homer on May 7, 2008 10:04 PM PDT reply actions
Fuck this team, Fuck Willie Bloomquist, Fuck McSquinty Jr.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang, but a whimper
by Lents Park Homer on May 7, 2008 10:05 PM PDT reply actions
Also,
it’s not like he doesn’t have options. Vidro and Johjima are both on the bench and both hit right handed
Ladies and Gentlement, your 2008 Mariners!
by Jordan of Boise on May 7, 2008 10:05 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Its because he has struck out in half of his at bats in the bigs this year
and Willie has a lot of heart. How they are related i am not sure.
Vidro is now behind Cairo, Burke and Willie
it’s stupid, but I approve
I know they're trying to cut down on Vidro's AB
but one or two PH’s now and then couldn’t hurt. It’d be nice to actually win a game or two
JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA
JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA JOHJIMA
by seattlebruin on May 7, 2008 10:08 PM PDT up reply actions
yay!
remove one of the people with HR power for the guy who couldn’t hit a HR in autistic little league
THIS IS THE WORST MOVE OF ALL TIME
Worse than when LFoJL baked plastic onto a cake
GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH WILLIE ITS THE FUCKING NINTH INNING
AT LEAST GET HTROWN OUT
Yuni needs to save the Mariners.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Game over, season over. Go Rays.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Ironically, my mlb.tv month is up today
to renew or not to renew….
You'll renew, you have learned NOTHING!
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Awesome...I LOVE them losing like this
I fucking hate you Mariners
ive
forgotten what a major league lineup is supposed to look like, its been so long since ive seen one
PP
Oh shit! bagel!
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on May 7, 2008 10:12 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I don't think they should be called game threads anymore
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 7, 2008 10:12 PM PDT up reply actions
For a good time press GS52!
I fucking hate you Mariners
Call it being annoyed..sour grapes..gte
I want them to keep losing…it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Blow this team up.
I fucking hate you Mariners
WELCOME TO THE CELLAR!!!!!!!
WELCOME TO THE .400 CLUB!!!!
WORST RECORD IN AL!!!
It sucks, but it feels adequate at the same time
It’s like being in the last stages of hypothermia. Body feels warm, then you die.
The worst part is
That we’ll be shopping players this July.
And I guarantee you that we’ll get half of what we gave for Bedard.
The artist formerly known as Katal
I don't think they will trade Bedard.
They will play for 2009
They think they can ride this team into the playoffs?
Better chance with Eight Belles.
I fucking hate you Mariners
I still prefer the taco bar
I fucking hate you Mariners
In retrospect, I wish I watched Gladiator instead of this game.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
No! A rollickin' team
with “SoDo Mojo!”
Hey, they can bring back “Who Let The Dogs Out?” to usher out the fans, postgame!!
"I never predict anything, and I never will." Paul Gascoigne, English footballer
by One won lost won on May 7, 2008 10:14 PM PDT up reply actions
So, who's the #1 prospect in the 2009 draft?
by Jordan of Boise on May 7, 2008 10:12 PM PDT reply actions
Who cares the M's will take Morrow 2.0 instead of him.
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
Apathy...
At least we don't have Zito's contract.
CUNT AIDS SHIT PISS CHRIST FUCK LICK
there, back to normal?
by JI on May 7, 2008 10:13 PM PDT up reply actions
So why do I follow this club?
Everything about it is hopeless.
Playoffs: Forget it
Winning Record: Yeah, right
Fire Bavasi and replace with competent GM: Fuck you, fans
Removal of Lincoln and Armstrong: Never going to happen.
This is worse than 2004.
Actually no
We have Felix this year, in 2004 we didn’t.
This year we know 9/10 Felix starts are going to be wasted.
That’s a cockpunch.
One of my best friends is IMing me, complaining about
how his Cubs lost.
I want to make him bite the curb.
The artist formerly known as Katal
Two hits...
Niehaus: “That’s all we got, two goddamn hits?”
Rizz: “You can’t say goddamn on the air.”
Niehaus : “Don’t worry, nobody is listening anyway.”
They used to feed it on MLB.tv.
And it was pretty amusing. Especially when he was calling Gil Meche a pussy.
No kidding
His last almost 40 years have been spent watching the Mariners. The fact he isn’t on about 40 anti-depresants is a minor miracle. I’m sure he is comedy gold off the air.
Just watch Major League?
Bob Uecker was great in that movie. I could imagine him suffering with the Brewers for many years like Niehaus has with the Mariners, but the Brewers don’t suck anymore. Everytime I hear Niehaus say fly away baseball to an opponents HR weakily, I feel its another chip on the shoulder for him, since he’s had to endure many depressing year.
by Fin on May 8, 2008 3:21 AM PDT up reply actions
Status
The season is over according to Baker’s plan but we still have a chance to win 2 straight games under Dave’s 5-day plan.
My plan is to put myself into a medically induced coma
until NFL preseason.
You know what the best thing about beer is?
You never sit down with a beer and find out that Miguel Cairo is in it.
by Jordan of Boise on May 7, 2008 10:17 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
The season at this point has become more beer....oh, and hey, baseball....fuck, it's the Mariners
I fucking hate you Mariners
I can't bring myself to drink good beer after tonight
Maybe I’ll open a St Bernardus 12 but chug it.
We need to have a drunken LL night at a Rainier's game
Just get all our anger out my heckling and being rowdy
I fucking hate you Mariners
Imagine those rally jigs going on when EOF gets up in the pen!
I fucking hate you Mariners
Hey, that Twilight Zone with Burgess Meredith as the librarian is on Sci-Fi right now
In case any M’s fans want to check out a feel-good story.
--Shrug
Field Gulls - The SBN Seattle Seahawks Blog
Oh, wait, it's not the one where he breaks his glasses
Meredith played a librarian twice on Twilight Zone. Trivia.
--Shrug
Field Gulls - The SBN Seattle Seahawks Blog
Haha Johnny Mac said Vidro had back spasms today
Back spasms means “nobody wants to pay his option for next season”
The M's are doing their fair share.
I fucking hate you Mariners
Post-game Interview
Mentink: “It seemed like your curveball was working. Are you happy with it?”
Bedard: “Yup.”
Mentink: ”....was that a change-up to Milton Bradley?”
Bedard: (nods) “Yup.”
Mentink: ”...did he just get it or…did you…..miss…a little bit?”
Bedard: “Nohegotit.”
God if I've somehow created a new meme
I will consider this a successful season.
You also created
Be proud. Regardless of the sucktacity of your baseball team.
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