14-20
So you see why I wasn't ready to call last night a turning point, then.
What with SBN having scheduled downtime coming up in a little bit, I'm just going to take this opportunity to re-post (a slightly edited version of) what I wrote on Sunday afternoon, since (A) it's still applicable, and (B) no one saw it the first time since we got hacked like 20 minutes after I put it up. You'll notice that a line or two looks pretty much identical to what I put up last night but whatever I'm allowed to go back to that well if I want. And away we go.
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The season isn't over.
The season isn't over, and you shouldn't pay any attention to the people claiming otherwise, because they're overreacting. As bad as things have been, and as big as this hole has gotten, it's still the first week of May, and there's time to right the ship. Look at the standings a year ago today and the Rockies, Yankees, and Phillies were all sucking pretty hard. Not this hard, mind you, but what I'm trying to say is that we haven't reached the point at which it's time to give up.
But we're close. Closer than even the most pessimistic of Mariner fans would've thought we'd be this early. After 34 games, this team is tied with the Rangers and Tigers for the worst record in the American League. The worst. Worse than the Royals. Worse than the Orioles. Worse than the White Sox. Worse than everyone but the Rangers and Tigers, with whom we're tied. They're 7.5 back of the Angels and 6.5 back of the A's, and no matter what you thought of the M's playoff chances back in March, now they're down in the single digits. Thanks to a horrible first five weeks, the Mariners have made their season about five times more difficult. That's not really the start you're looking for when you've invested so much in winning right now.
No longer is this about simply being better than the Angels and the A's (who I definitely didn't see coming). Now this is about being significantly better than the Angels and the A's. Dave already outlined it here. Five months seems like a long time, but making up the ground the M's have lost will require that either they play really well, or their competition doesn't. And that would require that things turn around pretty much right now. The Mariners just can't afford to waste any more opportunities. They can't pull stupid stunts like getting owned by Baltimore - who blows - or getting swept in the Bronx by a mediocre team when they've got their top three starters on the mound. Things like that are inexcusable. It's stupid to say "good teams don't lose to Darrell Rasner Sidney Ponson" because shit happens and even the best teams go slumming from time to time, but when it becomes a pattern, that's a problem. This team has problems. And they need to be fixed as soon as possible, else everything the front office worked for be wasted effort by June.
For the next two weeks, the Mariners will play 11 more games against the Rangers, White Sox, and Padres, one average team and two cellar-dwellers. It's an easier stretch of schedule than those of the Angels and A's, and if the M's play well, they can jump right back into the thick of things in the division. The opportunity is there.
They just need to seize it. Because the alternative sucks.
God damn this team.
Biggest Contribution: Jose Lopez, +6.1%
Biggest Suckfest: Miguel Batista, -31.8%
Most Important AB: Lopez single, +6.2%
Most Important Pitch: Murphy homer, -8.9%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -39.5%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -10.5%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)
Do me a favor and spare us all the bullshit about how you want this team to lose 100 games so that there will be major changes up top.
(1) no you don't
(2) it's not an original thought
(3) it's not funny
(4) it's May 6th
(5) this team isn't going to lose 100 games
(6) there's no evidence that they'd make any major changes
(7) there's no evidence that they'd replace the current guys with anyone better
(8) executives smart enough to find a better GM wouldn't need a 100-loss season to do it
Seriously, just drop it. It's tired.
You know what isn't tired? Wlad!
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When you said 'slightly edited'
I was actually expecting you to use the Fresh Prince ending.
by Gomez on
May 6, 2008 10:37 PM PDT
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Your shipwreck photo also reminded me of this old classic

Seemed appropriate after the last week (yesterday’s game notwithstanding)
by ningwers on
May 6, 2008 10:42 PM PDT
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When does training camp open up?
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
May 6, 2008 10:43 PM PDT
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The season isn’t over, and you shouldn’t pay any attention to the people claiming otherwise
I like attention. >:(
by JI on
May 6, 2008 10:50 PM PDT
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Well I know what shirt I'm wearing tomorrow.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
May 7, 2008 12:46 AM PDT
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On the bright side Josh Hamilton had a solid game.
I have a $20 bet with a friend at 30-1 odds that Hamilton will win at least 1 MVP during his career. If he plays us enough he’ll win one in no time
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
May 7, 2008 12:41 AM PDT
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By the way...
how far did that ball go? It was a shot, that is all I know.
by elsid on
May 7, 2008 8:25 AM PDT
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Johs's Homerun
That ball was demurdurized (if it’s not a word, it should be) to the upper deck. I’m not sure where to find out how far it went (or was projected to go).
by ThundaPC on
May 7, 2008 9:09 AM PDT
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Usually, Hit Tracker is awesome
but for some reason, they don’t have Hamilton’s homer up yet
by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 9:17 AM PDT
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it's still flying
so they can’t calculate the final distance yet.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 9:21 AM PDT
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They never will.
It achieved escape velocity, which from there is about 30,000 m/s
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 7, 2008 12:33 PM PDT
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I've been a reader for years, but only decided to post now
Because i would really love it if we started calling Balentien “Dubya.”
You know, Vlad/Wlad both in the AL West…
by eday on
May 7, 2008 1:05 AM PDT
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Without violating the NO POLITICS ON LL rule
Because i would really love it if we started calling Balentien "Dubya."
Uh, no. The Curacao Crusher is a great nickname, and Dubya is, to be charitable, not.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 6:49 AM PDT
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I have to disagree.
The Curacao Crusher doesn’t shorten easily to something punchy.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 7, 2008 7:16 AM PDT
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That's the whole point
it doesn’t NEED to shorten to something punchy. That’s the problem with nicknames today. People think “nickname” means W-Bal or something like that. I’m sticking with the Curacao Crusher, thanks.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 7:50 AM PDT
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Spot on
Aptness, wittiness and intelligibility are far greater attributes than punchiness when it comes to nicknames. Therefore: Curacao Crusher >>>>>>>>>> Dubya.
“Tienybopper”, anyone?
by Alex B on
May 7, 2008 8:08 AM PDT
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The beauty of a good nickname is in its poetry
and you could write an entire story about someone called “The Curacao Crusher” without even knowing who it actually is. It evokes something bigger than a mere baseball player. It evokes a larger-than-life legend, someone who is capable of things us mere mortals can only dream of.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 8:15 AM PDT
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Not to mention, I already have the sign in the works.
Since I will be taking it to at least 20 games this year I guarantee you it will be getting some exposure. And I just cannot agree enough with pdb on this one. Nicknames have become so lame in recent years. At least Curacao Crusher is different.
On another note, I guess that drink I made was pretty good because my wife requested I make one for her after dinner last night.
by Sec 108 on
May 7, 2008 8:16 AM PDT
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Did you make up the nickname yourself, Sec 108?
Because it’s definitely the best nickname I’ve heard for an M’s player since… I can’t remember. Maybe A-Rod, since that was actually original at the time
by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 8:20 AM PDT
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If you look at my Diary err FanPost
I linked to article that said he had already been called that. I scoured a ton of articles about him and that was the one I liked best.
by Sec 108 on
May 7, 2008 8:28 AM PDT
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Besides
You can always shorten it to Crusher if you’re in pinch, while maintaining Curacao Crusher as the full nickname
by ningwers on
May 7, 2008 8:18 AM PDT
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I like this.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 8:26 AM PDT
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We can shorten it to CC or something later
catchy, although not terribly original, when asked what it stands for, we can say Curacao Crusher. Plus, “Three CC’s” is so much easier to say in a bar
by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 8:19 AM PDT
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I don't like this
Stick with “Crusher”.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 8:26 AM PDT
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Was just a suggestion
I like just “Crusher” better too
by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 8:30 AM PDT
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I'd just be worried that if you said "three CC's" in a bar
somebody would hand you a syringe full of heroin or something. Whereas if you made reference to “my friend Crusher” you’d probably never get harassed in a bar again.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 8:32 AM PDT
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Or, they might pour you three glasses of Canadian Club rye whisky.
And that wouldn’t be so bad.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 7, 2008 8:43 AM PDT
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This is true.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 7, 2008 8:45 AM PDT
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BLUE!
I’m calling him Blue.
There. That’s punchy.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 7, 2008 12:34 PM PDT
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First picture that comes up when I googled "at least we didn't get shut out?"

by Fin on
May 7, 2008 1:14 AM PDT
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I'm scared to do that with the content filter off
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 7, 2008 1:47 AM PDT
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That didn't come up at all for me
One of Mike Timlin did though
I'm more like I am now than I've ever been.
by ralphie81 on
May 7, 2008 9:31 AM PDT
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You forgot the quotations, homeslice.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on
May 7, 2008 1:32 PM PDT
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Skipping the game thread is a good thing sometimes
Went out, had a few beers with some friends, and now I’m totally zen about all of this. Whereas if I’d been here and watching the game as it happened I’m sure I would be filled with the urge to find the nearest living thing and squeeze the life out of it.
by OlSalty on
May 7, 2008 1:18 AM PDT
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Yeah it was pretty bad
I turned off the tv when it was 5-0.
by phil333 on
May 7, 2008 7:56 AM PDT
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I gave up in the first inning.
It’s the fastest I’ve ever given up on a baseball game before.
Hey Miguel! Lose faster, please!
by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 8:21 AM PDT
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Lopez biggest contribution! Wooo
Told you! Hall of Famer!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by Slica on
May 7, 2008 2:19 AM PDT
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I dunno...
If he would’ve grabbed the ball in the third inning, for the third out, that would’ve stopped the bleeding. A 3-0 deficit is less intimidating than a 10-0 deficit. After watching the replay, that ball looked gettable.
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
by PositivePaul on
May 7, 2008 8:52 AM PDT
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Yeeeahhh
that was definitely gettable. I’d like to say it had spin on it, but the hop looked normal/true. Just right under his glove.
That would’ve made things different.
by marc w on
May 7, 2008 2:30 PM PDT
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I had a dream last night
that Yuni died. Weird shit. I wasnt even thinking about the Mariners heading towards bed…but yeah, I was told in the dream he was bleeding out his ear. Went to surgery, and didnt make it.
Wild shit. I woke up a little shocked, but fell back asleep quite quickly…
by Slica on
May 7, 2008 2:21 AM PDT
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Whoa, I just ate a whole box of Hostess Donuts and drank a liter of Dr. Pepper
This is what it must feel like to give up 10 runs to the Rangers.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 7, 2008 4:43 AM PDT
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Sec 108, was it you who dropped that HR from Murphy?
Whoever it was, that fan mimiced the M’s by dropping the ball.
by Jed MC on
May 7, 2008 7:23 AM PDT
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I was at home last night.
I think the person in our seats was a random who bought the tickets from my buddy.
by Sec 108 on
May 7, 2008 8:17 AM PDT
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Whiffey is not your savior!
John Brattian’s Bringing up Junior article posted at the Hardball Times notes some of the interesting memories from the 2000 Griffey Jr. trade. Here’s one of them…
A nitwit poster named “Gallagher” who spammed the Cinci.com message board after the trade with tirades about what a mistake the Reds had made in acquiring Griffey. His usual refrain was “WHIFFEY IS NOT YOUR SAVIOR!!”
Heh. Somebody needs to make that into a sign and stick in Chuck Armstrong’s office.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 7, 2008 7:36 AM PDT
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Dear God
Who would have thought in 2000-2001 that come 2008 Ken Griffey Jr., Alex Rodriguez and the Seattle Mariners would still be looking for their first World Series?
It hurts. It physically hurts to read that. Man, in 1999, it seemed like a WS was inevitable with Junior, A-Rod and the pitchers we had (Freddy, Moyer, RoidsRyan Franklin, Aaron Sele before he fell off a cliff, Sasaki, et. al)
by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 8:32 AM PDT
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I <3 Wlad.
So as long as he and Clement are still playing, I really couldn’t care less how they do unless they suddenly surge to the playoffs.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on
May 7, 2008 11:41 AM PDT
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I like how in the past week
Drunkeness has increased ten fold on LL.
by Robert on
May 7, 2008 1:00 PM PDT
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There are no Royals fans left
They all drank themselves to death…. well, except for royalsreview, but still.
by Gomez on
May 7, 2008 1:38 PM PDT
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I also like how pictures of shipwrecks have increased tenfold this week

by seattlebruin on
May 7, 2008 1:16 PM PDT
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Now your typos are spreading to you posting pictures
by Robert on
May 7, 2008 1:20 PM PDT
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This comment made me laugh out loud.
Well played, sir. Well played.
by BrianL on
May 7, 2008 1:24 PM PDT
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