5/6: Open Game Thread
Texas @ Seattle
Team Defense Watch
After 33 games, the Mariners have turned 12 fewer balls in play into outs than expected. This ranks them as having been the second-worst defense in the American League. The worst? Texas, at -20. The Rangers are complimenting a below-average pitching staff with an average infield and a below-average outfield, generating all of the results you'd expect and none of the ones that you wouldn't. Only making things worse is the fact that the pitchers have a collective K/9 of 4.7, meaning that not only is the defense bad, but it also has to deal with a non-stop barrage of balls off the bat. I guess this is one way to keep Josh Hamilton busy and out of trouble.
By the way, I might've been too quick to call Miguel Batista a liar. Ever since he "figured something out," he's put up a staggering swinging strike rate of 23% 16% (three starts), versus 13% a year ago and just 9% over his first four starts of 2008. Whether this actually means something has yet to be determined, but it's absolutely something to watch going forward. Swinging strikes are awesome.
LET'S GO MARINERS!!
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When I took some friends from out of town to a game a few weeks ago
They were very disappointed with what I meant when I said the game was gonna be Tits
by Robert on
May 6, 2008 5:08 PM PDT
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Go Clement!
Keep Pepe, Jose and their vesticles in the dugout. Woo.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 5:06 PM PDT 0 recs
LL, like life, has no edit button
I was trying to think of another way to mention the vesting option in their contract.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 5:10 PM PDT
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So you crossed vesting option with testicles?
Awesome.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 5:10 PM PDT
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I think I was aiming for vesticular
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 5:12 PM PDT
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It's never Lupus.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 6, 2008 5:23 PM PDT
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I was just looking up how to spell that. Damn.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 6, 2008 5:24 PM PDT
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Doctors tested me for that last week.
I laughed when they told me I might have it.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 5:25 PM PDT
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So in this picture, we see Miguel Cairo offering Wlad! some advice.

What advice is Cairo offering?
by BrianL on May 6, 2008 5:08 PM PDT 0 recs
Miguel: "I'm serious... that's it"
Wlad: “You try NOT to hit HRs, in order to develop a reputation as a flexible, gritty veteran who can ‘relate’ to the kids? That makes no sense.”
Miguel: “Swear to god, dude – it’s called the Sojo plan. I haven’t said 3 words to Lopez since I’ve been here, but people assume I’m ‘helping’ or something because I’m from the same country and theoretically play the same position.”
Wlad: “Yeah, I’m going to focus on hitting the ball hard.”
Miguel: “Heh. Worked wonders for Wil Cordero, Raul Mondesi and Henry Rodriguez”
Wlad: “Uh, Vlad Guerrero?”
Miguel: “Fine, go ahead, risk it all for a shot at being the next Guerrero. It’s safer to be the next Miguel Cairo.”
Wlad: ”....I’ve gotta take some BP now. Good talk.”
by marc w on
May 6, 2008 5:15 PM PDT
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Maybe he is asking for advice on how to get on base.
Wlad’s OBP is 2.38* times higher than Cairo’s.
*if that number is off blame Batista
by nwtrev on
May 6, 2008 5:18 PM PDT
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Cairo: slow fastball
Wlad:
Cairo: slow fastball
Wlad:
Cairo: slow fastball
Wlad:
Cairo: slow fastball
Wlad:
Cairo: slow fastball
Wlad:
Cairo: slow fastball
Wlad:
Coach: dude calling pitches isn’t the same in batting practice
by JeffS on
May 6, 2008 5:38 PM PDT
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Some people have a talent for the faux conversation
I do not.
by JI on
May 6, 2008 6:02 PM PDT
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No more Jeff Salazar? :(
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
by Coach Owens on
May 6, 2008 5:43 PM PDT
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Getting shut down by Ponson wasn't hilarious even when he was good.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 6, 2008 5:24 PM PDT
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Sure you're healthy?
Don’t want you to go all JJ Putz on us.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 5:42 PM PDT
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The good news is that we return
to our 1-2 punch tomorrow!
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
by Coach Owens on May 6, 2008 5:35 PM PDT 0 recs
Pseudoscience + Explosions = Awesome
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 5:40 PM PDT
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Semantics!
But funny. Now I want to read Zombie Survival Guide again.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 5:48 PM PDT
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House followed by donuts.
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
by Coach Owens on
May 6, 2008 5:41 PM PDT
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Apparently Sidney Ponson was knighted by the queen of the Netherlands.
by borgy on May 6, 2008 5:43 PM PDT 0 recs
All the MLB players from Dutch holdings get that eventually. Andruw Jones was, too.
It’s only a matter of time for Wlad.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 6, 2008 5:45 PM PDT
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Who is the Queen of the Netherlands now, by the way? Beatrix?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 6, 2008 5:45 PM PDT
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When I saw that Ponson was knighted, I actually assumed Jones must be as well.
But, I couldn’t find anything on it. All I’ve found for baseball players being knighted is Eugene Kingsale, Calvin Maduro and Ponson.
by borgy on
May 6, 2008 5:49 PM PDT
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Well if tonight's game gets out of hand
Deadliest Catch is on.
by BrianL on May 6, 2008 5:46 PM PDT 0 recs
Didn't you see that South Park episode?
Crabs have lived peacefully and undisturbed for generations…
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 5:52 PM PDT
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I always wonder which dirty fucker has crabs and keeps spreading it
Isn’t that something that should have been wiped out a while ago? I get lice are tough because people share hats and can rub up against each other easier but I don’t see how crabs gets spread and is still around.
by Edgar for Pres on
May 6, 2008 6:46 PM PDT
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Blue Jays
have lost botch Eckstein and MacDonald to injuries in the same game.
Ouch.
The poster formerly known as Matt.
by bluemax on May 6, 2008 5:58 PM PDT 0 recs
Eh.
They can probably live without their scrappy little ball of fire.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 6:00 PM PDT
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I'm not watching the game, but this does paint a nice picture
B. Butler doubled to deep left
- A. Gordon doubled to deep left, B. Butler scored
Something tells me these are “doubles”.
FREE JEREMY REED!!
by MFAN on
May 6, 2008 6:04 PM PDT
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I saw that
I’m praying he either goes Saturday or if he does start tomorrow that they push everyone back and Lincecum goes Saturday against Moyer.
by Matthew on
May 6, 2008 6:15 PM PDT
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4-3 Halos now
:(
At least my GF will be happy, this will offset her PMS.
The poster formerly known as Matt.
by bluemax on
May 6, 2008 6:42 PM PDT
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You're dating an Angels fan?
She had better be smoking hot.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 6:46 PM PDT
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Since they don't have brains, typically they get the good looks.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on
May 6, 2008 6:47 PM PDT
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She's actually pretty smart
she’s a research biologist at a sports doping center.
And she is of course attractive.
She became an Angels fan because one of the first people she lived with when she moved to SoCal was a life long Angels fan. I’m working to convert her to Mariners fandom. She actually roots for the M’s whenever they aren’t playing the Angels so that I will be happy.
The poster formerly known as Matt.
by bluemax on
May 6, 2008 6:58 PM PDT
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Vidro isn't starting!
Woo! Teixeira ‘08!
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 6:18 PM PDT 0 recs
Need that money to pick up Griffey's option
after we trade the farm for him.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 6:19 PM PDT
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I'm looking forward to that.
When Griffey was here, he said he’d only allow a trade to Cincy and thus we, at the time, got a pretty shitty package for him.
Now, Griffey’s in Cincy and will say he’ll only allow a trade to Seattle. Bill Bavasi will trade Cincy more than fair value.
by Matthew on
May 6, 2008 6:21 PM PDT
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What did that trade land us?
Mike Cameron, Brett Tomko and someone else…
Cameron panned out fairly well, but the rest of the trade was a failure.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 6:23 PM PDT
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Antonio Perez
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 6:24 PM PDT
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That's right.
What happened to him? I remember him being one of the organization’s top prospects at one point in time.
by BrianL on
May 6, 2008 6:25 PM PDT
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He was part of the Lou trade for Randy Winn.
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
by Coach Owens on
May 6, 2008 6:28 PM PDT
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Huh
Looks like he retired?
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 6:29 PM PDT
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Nope, just a free agent.
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
by Coach Owens on
May 6, 2008 6:30 PM PDT
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Bavasi should sign him and offer him for Griffey
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 6:31 PM PDT
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Don't forget Cameron, Tomko and Meyer!
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
by Coach Owens on
May 6, 2008 6:32 PM PDT
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Royals
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 6, 2008 6:33 PM PDT
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I think Tomko is a little underrated
He’s not good but I don’t think he quite sucks.


