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14-19

I won't tell you this is a turning point. There are no turning points; at least, not turning points you can identify at the time. The only turning points that exist exist in hindsight.

I won't tell you this is the day the offense jelled. Those things don't happen overnight. One could argue they never really happen at all. We have the same issues to deal with now as we did yesterday afternoon.

I won't tell you that Wladimir Balentien just arrived. Major League adjustment is a dimmer, not a light switch. He will have a lot of good at bats going forward, but he will also have a lot of bad ones.

And I won't tell you that the Mariners are ready to get back in the hunt. This is a deep hole they've dug for themselves, one that'll take a sustained effort to escape, and they could very easily fall flat on their faces again tomorrow.

What I will tell you is that, coming off a miserable road trip, this was the biggest win of the year. They just couldn't afford to keep losing. They couldn't. Entering the day, the Mariners stood at 6.5 games back of the Angels and 5.5 games back of the A's. If you figured them for a 35-45% chance at the postseason last March, this morning they were down to a mere fraction of that, having blown opportunities to keep afloat by losing to a terrible Orioles team and getting swept in the Bronx. Simply put, they were almost out of chances. They needed to start winning the games they were supposed to win, because the alternative was a toboggan ride to four long months of meaningless baseball.

Tonight, they won.

Maybe this gets things turned around. Maybe it doesn't. But every team that pulls itself out of a slump has to win a first game, and that little glimmer of hope is the best we could've asked for tonight. May this be the first stage of Operation Season Rescue.

5_5_08_medium

Biggest Contribution: Jose Lopez, +13.9%
Biggest Suckfest: Adrian Beltre, -4.4%
Most Important AB: Ibanez double, +11.5%
Most Important Pitch: Boggs strikeout, +3.3%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +18.0%
Total Contribution by Hitters: +32.0%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)

Star-divide

I have the bullet point function back! Only a few bullets, since I'm still kind of focusing on the whole site restoration process (you'll notice that things are gradually beginning to reappear):

Update: sweet sweet restoration!

  • JJ didn't look too bad. He didn't look like Awesome JJ, but he also didn't look like the JJ of a few days ago who was using the area in and around the zone to write the alphabet with his fastball. Today he was pretty good about throwing strikes, and against Frank Catalanotto in the final at bat he dialed it up to 96 with good location. At this point I'm inclined to agree with MFanInAlaska - seems like JJ just randomly lost his fastball command for some reason and intentionally reduced his velocity to try and find it. He's not back yet, but he's getting there, and unlike before, no longer do I think he's still injured. I think he's just getting over the time time he missed with the previous injury. The splitter's certainly working. Based on nothing in particular, I'd say give JJ ~2 weeks and he'll be back to form. 
  • Ichirodeadringer_medium 
  • If you're one of the zero people who ever doubted Wlad's raw power, he put it on display tonight when he drilled a Millwood fastball about 25 rods into left-center, clearing the visitors' bullpen. Seldom do you find a player capable of hitting a no-doubt home run beyond Safeco's left field power alley, famous for making Mike Cameron crazy and giving Jeff Cirillo crippling bouts with PTSD, but Wlad's got more strength than anyone that's come through this system in many moons, and this isn't the last time he'll decorate the bullpen backdrop. In the short term he won't give this team much in the way of average or OBP, but he's a home run threat every time he steps up to the plate. And that's a threat this lineup sorely needs.
  • Despite his notorious difficulty when it comes to hitting the zone against left-handed batters, Sean Green continues to be badly underrated. He gets more swinging strikes than Felix, his sidearm delivery renders righties virtually helpless, and his groundball rate of 68.3% ranks fourth in baseball among pitchers with at least ten innings (last year he was 11th out of 374 pitchers with at least 40 innings). His best outings may not look as sexy as Morrow or JJ's, but he's a hell of a reliever, and a good candidate to end up the most valuable Mariner no one ever mentions.
  • Anybody who wants to know what it looks like when bad outfield defense costs runs should check out the bottom of the second. Milton Bradley gave us two baserunners, one of whom would come around to score. Those two balls in play should be required viewing for anyone who dares to take fielding percentage seriously.
  • So ever since Wlad and Clement got called up last week, I've been doing some thinking. Fans always love it when a young player gets promoted to the Majors. They're always interested, even if the player in question isn't particularly good, or doesn't seem ready. Why is this? Why do people seem to enjoy watching out for young players so much?

    The best answer I've come up with so far is that young players are a mystery. They come up with clean slates, if you will. No matter what their numbers might look like on the farm, people haven't been conditioned to expect certain results out of them the way that we expect, say, Ichiro to put the ball on the ground and run it out, or Richie to whiff. Even with all the evidence we have that minor league performance tends to translate remarkably well into the Majors, we all still want to see it with our own eyes, and building that early impression of a young player seems to be at the heart of the intrigue. It's like having a new toy, only it's a toy you've never seen before, and you can't wait to see what it can do.

    That's not it, though. I think there's another (related) factor in play here, a lesser factor but still a real one. And that's that, when they arrive, it feels like every young player has some small chance of turning into an instant impact player, sort of the way that Albert Pujols and Ryan Braun flipped out from the first day they set foot in the big leagues. Obviously not every player has that kind of potential, but where you always feel pretty confident that you know the veterans, the rookies come up with a vast array of possible outcomes, and with each guy you can't help but feel like maybe, just maybe, this could be the guy.

    It's something that isn't really supported by the numbers. Superstars generally don't come out of nowhere, and veterans are no more predictable than rookies. But as long as there exists that infinitesimally small chance that Prospect X turns into the greatest player you've ever seen, you'll watch him with interest and give him a longer leash than you would somebody ten years his senior. It's not the most rational approach, but it's a fundamental one shared by pretty much every baseball fan on the planet.

Back to work tomorrow night, as Miguel Batista goes up against holy crap you have to be kidding

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5/5: WE SCORED RUNS THREAD

May 2008 by JeffS - 583 comments

Comments

Display:

So LL night was pretty awesome.

Even though it was just me, Gomez,Brett, Brett’s friend Chad,Etowncoug, and some other guy I can’t remember. Oh and Sec 108 was there after we moved into that section in the middle of the game.

Milton Bradley is awesome. We hounded him for about 3 innings and he took it pretty well and gave us shit back.

Holy crap that Wlad shot was annihilated. Left the park in no time flat and slammed into the back of the bullpen, Would of gone at least 475 ft if there wasn’t something in the way to stop it.

I finally got to meet Red. He’s every bit as awesome as he’s hyped to be.

Oh and who the fuck does Jamie think he is? Micah Owings? Pffft.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 6, 2008 1:10 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

You guys missed the ovation we gave Wladimir after his homer

He waved and nodded to us. Then I asked him if he liked the nickname Curacao Crusher and he gave me a big thumbs up and a smile.

I will be making that sign and before you know it the Safeco people will be flashing it on the scoreboard.

Also, Milton Bradley can hit but he is a terrible defensive player. That was an ugly display by him in the 2nd.

by Sec 108 on May 6, 2008 9:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Lookout Landing Karma strikes!

(The 1st night in April didn’t count because there were so few of us)

I watched the replay when I got home just to see the WLAD shot again. He shat all over that pitch.

by Gomez on May 6, 2008 10:34 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That was you guys!

My Girlfriend and I were sitting in secton 117 and I could hear you guys letting Bradley have it. What was he doing, counting his money? Funny stuff.

by faceplant_04 on May 6, 2008 5:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

........

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 6, 2008 1:20 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

My friend Turner was really into Evangelion

He had the DVDs and we watched a few episodes. Man, that series is whack.

Fun fact: Evangelion’s director/producer went crazy afterward and got into making hardcore hentai.

by Gomez on May 6, 2008 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Evangelion is good, but overrated in my opinion

Ghost in the Shell, now that’s a great series.

by BrianL on May 6, 2008 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

PONSON!?!?!?!?!

Wow. I guess as an M’s fan I forget it could always be worse…

...

Watch him no-hit us.

by SethGrandpa on May 6, 2008 1:19 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

For the last bullet:

Also, you are watching someone grow, rather than watching them slowly start to fail. I

I like Ichiro for instance, but when I watch him now, I’m watching a player who will, slowly but surely, get worse. And who, in 4 years, I may not be rooting for with the same emphasis I root for him now.

Wlad, on the other hand, I see getting better. I can see that in 4 years (assuming he’s not gone), he may be the reason I’m bothering to even watch the games, excited for his at bat.

So… I’d say with regards to your statement that they will immediately be impact players, I think I disagree. It’s that someday, any day, they may become impact players. And you are not only getting the opportunity to watch them play now, you are getting the opportunity to watch them become those players in the future. I don’t disagree that there is some excitement in the short term as well – in fact, maybe equal to what I mention above – but watching any player grow is more fun than watching a player decline, no matter how soon that decline or how quickly their growth. It gives you someone that you have the opportunity to cheer for their whole career….

It gives you another 1992 Mariners.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 6, 2008 1:27 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

I have to disagree.

I don’t think it’s a growth vs decline thing. I agree with Jeff in part that it is a mysterious thing, but I think Jeff has it wrong that it’s about players transforming into impact players.

If a new guy comes up, you(general, not personal) don’t know how he’s going to do what he does. Seeing that monster shot from Wlad is a lot more exciting, because it’s something you don’t expect. You don’t see the swing coming, because you don’t know what to look for yet.

It’s the opposite for a player like Beltre (for example, but any veteran could be used). You can see the swing coming that he’ll whiff on, and you can spot when he’s going to come up with something. You know how he’s going to react in a given situation.

by Faux on May 6, 2008 5:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think we watch prospects hoping that in seven years we can look back

and say “I was watching when prospect x turned the corner.” Or “I remember back in 08 when Wlad hit .265/.300/.450 and look what he is now (MVP MVP MVP!)”

I don’t think it’s that they’re any less predictable then a veteran now – it’s that we watch hoping to see something that will matter in ten years. Just like anyone who was there at Ichiro’s first game or when Jose Cruz, Jr. came up (yeah, that one didn’t work out so well), you’re just hoping whatever you see is worth remembering if and hopefully when the player becomes a star.

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 8:28 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Also, for added hilarity

For those of you that missed it, BrianL had been telling everyone he had House downloaded, when in fact he had Last week’s House downloaded. That is almost as funny as downloading an incredibly long Rickroll, but not quite.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 6, 2008 1:35 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Lolz

What else is funny is this pic. Would’ve been funnier with a Sean Williiam Scott or Gil Meche photo added in there some how.

by Fin on May 6, 2008 1:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

In summation

9:59 PM: House eventually gets it right; no, it wasn’t lupus.

by JI on May 6, 2008 1:39 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I know why we won

This is the first time all season I didn’t watch the game live or watch the archive before checking the score.

by thewyrm on May 6, 2008 1:39 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Also today:

Pujols scores from 2nd base on a groundout.

Ridiculous how some players can be that good, while others…

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 6, 2008 2:11 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Yep.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 6, 2008 2:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Pujols for DH!

Actually I take that back. Pujols for 1B and Richie for DH!

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 8:29 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You spelled jelled right!

Oh, how that makes me happy!

(And kudos for giving Green some love. Dude is good at the things he needs to be good at.)

by Teej on May 6, 2008 2:40 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Keep Wlad the Impinger on the roster!

Doesn’t have quite the ring of “the Impaler” but I question the grammatical validity of “pitching impious”. Anyway, Keith Law approves of the Wlad…

“He’s not better than Jones, but he has above-average raw power and some willingness to work the count.”

Now if the team will sign Bonds and promote Reed we’ll have some semblance of an offensive juggernaut, an Optimus Prime

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 6:18 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

in re young impact players

didn’t Willie hit .400 for like two months when he first came up? Yeah.

the artist formerly known as Mere Tantalisers.

by Bearskin Rugburn on May 6, 2008 8:13 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Does anyone else find it sad

that when we beat a last place team at home it’s “the turning point”. Are we really that sad.

by WCLittleGiant on May 6, 2008 9:13 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Not really

the wins over awful teams count just as much as the wins over good teams. Right now, this team has to start winning. I don’t care if they beat the West Kentucky Little League, they need to start winning right now. Also, as Jeff said, this isn’t the turning point. We won’t know if this is the turning point for at least another month. Hopefully it is, but….

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 9:17 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Reading is fundamental

Here’s THE VERY FIRST LINE OF THE POST:

I won’t tell you this is a turning point. There are no turning points; at least, not turning points you can identify at the time.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 6, 2008 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Lazy is doing it too much justice

but I can’t think of a better word because I’m, uh, lazy. OH THE IRONY.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 6, 2008 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

reading beyond the text is also fundamental

Implied in the first line is that this could very well be the turning point in the season but we won’t know it until we can look back on the season in its entirety.

In fact, after Stalingrad held out and Soviet Tanks surrounded the 6th Army, Stalin went on the radio and said “I won’t tell you this is a turning point. There are no turning points; at least, not turning points you can identify at the time…” (Which was odd because he didn’t really speak much english). But we all know that it was in fact the turning point. And to carry the analogy further, the initial victories that turned the tide of the battle were against poorly armed and ill trained Romanian and Croatian units guarding the 6th army’s flank who were the Texas Rangers of the Wehrmacht.

the artist formerly known as Mere Tantalisers.

by Bearskin Rugburn on May 6, 2008 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

But they drove trucks

That were driven by lazy, 300-pound drivers named Swordfish.

Or, wait. I’m doing it wrong.

Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum

by PositivePaul on May 6, 2008 11:46 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Needs more 100 lb. halberds

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

by Mariner John on May 6, 2008 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

There could be some fun times to this season

watching Richie and Wlad battle it out to see who can hit the furthest homeruns. The strikeouts both will rack up won’t be as much fun, but those two shots last night sure were fun to watch on the replay…. unfortunately I missed the game, so only got to see the first 3 innings on replay.

Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!

by MfaninAlaska on May 6, 2008 9:27 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

is it furthest

or farthest?

Grammar was never my strong suit.

Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!

by MfaninAlaska on May 6, 2008 9:27 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Longest would fit better.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

crap

Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!

by MfaninAlaska on May 6, 2008 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Finding Forrester says hello
Prof. Robert Crawford: [to Jamal] Perhaps your skills do reach farther than basketball.
Jamal: “Further”
Prof. Robert Crawford: What?
Claire Spence: [to Jamal] Don’t…
Jamal: [to Crawford] You said that my skills reached “farther” than basketball. “Farther” relates to distance, “further” is a definition of degree. You should have said “further”.
Prof. Robert Crawford: Are you challenging me, Mr. Wallace?
Jamal: Not anymore than you challenged Coleridge.

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

CRAP

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 6, 2008 9:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

HA!

I would love to use a put-down from that movie, but I, like the rest of the non-Seattlebruin citizenry, never saw it.

by marc w on May 6, 2008 10:24 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Go see it. Now. It'll change your life

kind of like Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park II – the Lost World

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 10:25 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I will bet you any amount of money

that it will not change my life.

by marc w on May 6, 2008 1:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This does not surprise me

was there personal growth? Did all seem lost at some points? Were the two main characters separated by a seemingly insurmountable gulf? But did things get overcome?

by marc w on May 6, 2008 2:03 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hmmm

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GODS SAKE

Pop goes the buttsy on the left hand side!!

by PhilKenSebben on May 6, 2008 11:22 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dammit what's this I hear

about SBN downtime from 11AM to midnight today?

by BrianL on May 6, 2008 9:42 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

???

13 hours of no LL?

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 9:44 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That can't be right.

Then again, I do have a lot of work to do. LL being down would help.

DOWN WITH LL! CTHULHU FHTAGN!

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 9:47 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Please don't make me work

/shrinks back to corner
/
starts shaking uncontrollably
/assumes fetal position
/
prays for the sweet release of death

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 6, 2008 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Wow that was odd

apparently random asterisks don’t respect line breaks.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 6, 2008 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Which one?

Jeff or JeffS?

Ironic that JeffS was here the day that we found Ichiro’s evil twin? Discuss.

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 9:53 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 9:51 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

You sure love dinosaurs.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 9:54 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Good point.

When I hear “raptor” I think birds.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 9:56 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

When I hear "raptor"

I think “Australian guy from Jurassic park who gets owned in the end”

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Clever girl...

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 9:58 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm Nick Fury.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Goddammit, I'm so bummed I missed that after Iron Man.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's what you get for not caring about who the Negative Cutter was.

On any big budget film, the Negative Cutter will be either:

Mo Henry
Gary Burritt
Buena Vista Negative Cutters

Mo Henry’s films are generally really good. Next time you’re in a theatre, sit through the credits and say “This should felt like a Mo Henry film.” And then wait for his name to appear; you’ll look like a helfcking genius.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

There's no way I'll ever remember to do this...

But it sounds awesome.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I prefer to think that evolutionary theroy regarding dinosaurs is false.

And that dinosaurs remained in existence until medieval times where they were hunted down as dragons. Whimsical folly? Perhaps. But…oh crap, off topic.

Don’t you think Raul would play more inspired defense if he had a Utahraptor (velociraptors are too small) chasing him around? The raptor could be muzzled to prevent serious injury.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 10:00 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I know you haven't been around here too long

but there is no such thing as “OT” on Lookout Landing :)

I’d prefer to see Raul chased around by a small poodle on an ATV. He doesn’t seem like the type to be scared of a dinosaur. That’s more Richie.

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I thought that would be

Carl Everett that would be scared of things that don’t actually exsist.

Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!

by MfaninAlaska on May 6, 2008 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Carl Everett isn't in the Bible either.

Did you ever notice that black people have names like “Carl” and white people have names like “Lenny”?

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's pretty hard to come up with a good name.

My wife and I are struggling to name our next son because so many are associated with people who suck.

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You should name your kid King Felix.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 10:50 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

First thing was the 25 man roster, but

we’re not Asian or Hispanic and I don’t want some scrawny white boy running around named Felix or Ichiro. Adrian was close, but I have multiple female Adrienne relatives. George is out – family name on my wife’s side and they are all alcoholics, in jail, or both – and she shot down Kenneth. We’re leaning towards Jonah or Simon, but we still have about 4 months to figure this thing out.

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Legolas!

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 11:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Our dog is Frodo

and I dislike Orlando Bloom and his acting “skills”. Can we say typecast?

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 11:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Have you seen Orlando Bloom on "Extras"?

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nope. Maybe I gave up on him too soon

after LOTR and the Pirates series and that Crusades movie he was in.

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Aragorn? Jonah works too I suppose.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Willie.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phildopip on May 6, 2008 11:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That was wife vetoed along with

Jeff, Geoff, David, and Derek. We need less sucky people on this planet.

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Derek is not sucky.

Naming your son after DMZ is something to which we all aspire.

Your son specifically.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I proposed all of those names, but it was my wife.

Her step-brother was named Derek. They never spoke after she moved out of the house.

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I say go for corporate sponsorship.

Name your kid Xerox. Or Burgerking. Or Raytheon. Just make sure you cash in.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 6, 2008 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I bet you could make a ton of money doing that

Companies with bad reps should just buy some orphans and name them after themselves, then make sure they turned out to be really nice people, so people would go around saying stuff like “Man, that kid Exxon is such a good guy. I totally forgive the oil company that coincidentally has the same name for oil spills and crap like that”

by seattlebruin on May 6, 2008 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's a really good idea.

I can get a real Futurama moment at a future Mariners Caravan.

Please sign the card “To e-Bay”. That’s little e, big B.

by Jed MC on May 6, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Name him Dupre

after the Paladin in Ultima IV.

Everyone likes Paladins. Except the undead. But they don’t get a vote.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Venger!

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Movie villains have great names.

Use those.

I want to name my daughter Tiamat, but her mother won’t let me.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 6, 2008 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

arggghhhh

hot pocket filling dripped onto my foot, ahhh it burns it burns

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 12:23 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

A week ago I would have naively asked if that was a real Hot Pocket flavor

LL has pillaged my innocence in the darkness of night like a merciless viking hellbent on scoring loot.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 6, 2008 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Wlad

I’ve missed someone getting to the plate for the M’s with that much power…it makes every at bat exciting.

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on May 6, 2008 1:27 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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