Series Preview: Texas Rangers @ Seattle Mariners
Seattle: 13-19
Rangers:13-19
GAMES
Game 1: Jarrod Washburn* vs Kevin Millwood
Game 2: Miguel Batista vs Sidney Ponson
Game 3: Erik Bedard* vs Vicente Padilla
Game 4: Felix Hernandez vs A.J. Murray *
I'd like to be able to point out how we have a good matchup in each of these four games, with the first being the worst in terms for us, but Washburn at home isn't nearly as bad as Washburn in Texas. I'd like to be able to do that and, coming off a series win against the downtrodden Yankees, point to a good chance to go 3-1 (or better) in this series to re-establish a .500 record and gain a ton of momentum heading into a soft part of the schedule.
Instead, I now fully look forward to experiencing a new worst moment in Mariner fandom when Sidney Ponson comes in and shuts us down for 7 innings on Tuesday.
Likely Starters:
C Gerald Laird/Jarrod Saltalamacchia^
1 Chris Shelton
2 Ian Kinsler/German Duran
3 Ramon Vazquez
S Michael Young
L Brandon Boggs^
C Josh Hamilton*
R David Murphy*
D Milton Bradley^
Filling out this lineup based on the Rangers last few games, there were a couple people originally filled in as "? Lastname" because I had no idea who they were. And since I'm not Joe Morgan in terms of keeping tabs on baseball, that's a pretty bad sign. Boggs is a replacement for Marlon Byrd, though you might end up seeing Milton Bradley take the field and Laird and Saltalamacchia both in the lineup at DH and C respectively (what a concept).
Milton Bradley: .333/.427/.516
Ben Broussard: Benched
Josh Hamilton: Destroyer of Our Dreams
CONTEXT
I don't have much to say here. The Mariners did everything possible to make me look like a fool for trying to look on the bright side of this offense. Regardless, everything looks ugly right now and the urge to come up with some sort of psychological cliche like take it one game at a time, focus on the small things, etc is going to be hard to overcome and it's all pretty much bunk for us to speculate on since we don't have close access to these players. We cannot know if they're loafing, or pressing, or sick, or whatever. We can speculate about what sorts of moves the management should make in order to put the best team possible out on the field, but that's about the end of our analytical projecting rope.
The talent is there. Someone just needs to figure out a way for it display itself.
THIS SERIES BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
K-C≡N
You figure it out.
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I call a split
Does that make me an optimist or a realist?
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 5, 2008 7:26 AM PDT
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Stay away from Potassium Cyanide
I much prefer beer. I picked up some Cherry Wheat yesterday and was wondering what you guys’s thoughts are about it
by Susheel Ramasahayam on
May 5, 2008 7:39 AM PDT
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If you're talking about Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, go with the Cyanide instead.
Pick up a Stone IPA or Anderson Brewing Co. Oatmeal Stout for a better flavor experience.
I tried Lagunitas Maximum IPA and their Imperial Stout this weekend, and although they are good beers, I won’t add them to my regular rotation.
by Jed MC on
May 5, 2008 9:21 AM PDT
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I had some Anderson Valley Summer Solstice this weekend
and now I have a new favorite beer. That’s some mighty impressive beer.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 9:29 AM PDT
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Anderson Valley is a very, very good brewery
we’re spoiled out here.
by JeffS on
May 5, 2008 9:32 AM PDT
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I've had a couple of their others
and liked them pretty well, but I’d never had the Summer Solstice. Damn, that’s good stuff.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 9:40 AM PDT
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Yes.
Their winter solstice and summer solstice beers are the best things they make.
And that’s saying something.
by marc w on
May 5, 2008 10:10 AM PDT
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Cyanide is good?
Were you in LTTE training camps recently?
by Susheel Ramasahayam on
May 5, 2008 2:31 PM PDT
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If you click the up button
you can see which comment I replied to.
by Matthew on
May 5, 2008 2:53 PM PDT
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My girlfriend liked it. It was too much Cherry for me.
So I picked up a six pack of Belgian White. It tastes quite good.
by Susheel Ramasahayam on
May 5, 2008 2:29 PM PDT
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Something tells me that those of that are going to go to LL Night
aren’t going to be paying much attention to this game.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
by Goose on
May 5, 2008 7:53 AM PDT
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You're going to perform a striptease?
by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on
May 5, 2008 7:57 AM PDT
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Good job. You just ruined the surprise for everybody.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert
by Goose on
May 5, 2008 8:04 AM PDT
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Interestingly enough, a Google search for K-C=N turns up this first
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 5, 2008 8:02 AM PDT
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I'm not drinking that
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 8:03 AM PDT
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Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 5, 2008 8:49 AM PDT
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How many games back is enough to gow into "Let's blow this team up" mode?
by thewyrm on
May 5, 2008 9:07 AM PDT
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Dunno, how many games back are we right now?
6.5? 6.5 sounds like a good number for blowing this team up
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 9:13 AM PDT
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i don't know
but i DO know that no amount of mathematical tinkering can quite
define just how fucking awful they looked this weekend…
seriously, is anybody gonna sit here and say THAT team has any
business in the playoffs?
short of about 5 guys simultaneously pulling their heads out of their
collective asses… what’s the point?
by lyleleander on
May 5, 2008 9:26 AM PDT
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What's the point in what?
Shift key is nice, too
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 9:53 AM PDT
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if there was ever anything that made me want
by lyleleander on
May 5, 2008 9:59 AM PDT
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to drink, it's reading incomplete sentences from people.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:00 AM PDT
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pudding, it's watching people eating pudding and talking about how delicious it is.
Mmmm. Pudding.
by Graham on
May 5, 2008 10:00 AM PDT
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so you're into those
“gay cowboys eating pudding” type of movies, huh?
the other angels fan
by Eyebrows on
May 5, 2008 10:55 AM PDT
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Yes, but he's talking about American pudding,
not the general English term pudding.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on
May 5, 2008 11:02 AM PDT
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trying again:
if there was ever anything that made want to bother with the shift key less, it was watching that coat-hanger abortion the mariners put up this weekend.
so why bother with playoff speculation at this point?
unless, of course, we’re intentionally trying to drive ourselves insane.
by lyleleander on
May 5, 2008 10:01 AM PDT
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No one here is speculating about the playoffs
“blow up the team” implies that we will dump all of the veterans and see what the younger players can do. That or make a panic trade. WOOOOOOOO PANIC TRADES!!!
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:03 AM PDT
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I'm speculating about the playoffs
my speculation is that they will, once again, be Seattle-free. Does that mean that it’s time to set the tree on fire? hmmmm.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:04 AM PDT
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Stop disproving my points.
It’s causing me to look stupid and impotent.
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:06 AM PDT
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But at least you know which buttons to push
so that’s something. And something’s not nothing.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:07 AM PDT
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So conclusions from this subthread
1. pdb knows what buttons to push
2. so does seattlebruin
3. Knowing what buttons to push is something
4. Nothing is not something. However, “nothing” is the worded version of the Mariners’ playoff chances. And offense, for that matter.
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:11 AM PDT
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I feel like rec'ing this post
and I have no idea why.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 9:59 AM PDT
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You and your rec button
Why don’t you two just get a room already? We know how badly you want to… use it ;)
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:02 AM PDT
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you're just jealous
because I know which buttons to use.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:03 AM PDT
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I just got served.
unfortunately, I did not get served a delicious beer because I’m still at work.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:06 AM PDT
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I'd have some beer now but I've had a rough experience with Captain Alcohol recently
I’ll save it for tomorrow.
by Graham on
May 5, 2008 10:07 AM PDT
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Why is Alcohol a captain? Why not a sergeant or a major?
Or even a general?
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:08 AM PDT
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Did Captain Alcohol pull rank on you?
that’s no good.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:10 AM PDT
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Turns out Graham can only pull rank on LL
in the real world…
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:12 AM PDT
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Speaking of pulling rank
and replying to myself we should have LL ranks. That will make us more nerdy, and thus push us closer to our mother’s basements and more like other bloggers
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:12 AM PDT
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you're just trying to give Buzz Bissinger more ammo, aintcha?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:13 AM PDT
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I think Buzz Bissigner sounds like a really crappy Lieutenant from a bad Korean War movie
If that’s the case, he hardly needs more ammo
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:15 AM PDT
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hey, at least you didn't find out you're allergic to beer
as i have in the last week.
by lyleleander on
May 5, 2008 10:07 AM PDT
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Oh, dude. My condolences.
all alcohol, or just beer?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:09 AM PDT
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beer, mostly
because of the yeast. but apparently all alcohol has it
in some measure. it’s not horrible… i just wake up with a
runny nose… kind of feel like i’m getting a cold… and then
it goes away around noon.
by lyleleander on
May 5, 2008 10:10 AM PDT
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That happened to me with milk
I’d cry if someone took my booze away from me too
by Graham on
May 5, 2008 10:13 AM PDT
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What would you rather give up, alcohol or tea?
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:16 AM PDT
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Tea
I suffer from withdrawal when my intake drops below 4 or 5 cups a day.
by Graham on
May 5, 2008 10:25 AM PDT
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Gin will be your friend
that, and good vodka.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:13 AM PDT
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yeah
Exactly. Gin and Tonic has a little bit of god in it.
by lyleleander on
May 5, 2008 10:15 AM PDT
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Amen
However, do not, as I did on Saturday, replace ‘tonic’ with ‘pringles’ and call it dinner.
by Graham on
May 5, 2008 10:17 AM PDT
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I see you've stolen a page from my cookbook
Both my wife and I have this problem where we start drinking and forget to eat. Then, several hours in, we end up scraping around the kitchen for whatever we can find, which usually ends up being a handful of Wheat Thins or Doritos; this is a recipe for disaster.
I always thought that I’d eat better when I got married, but my wife eats like a bachelor too.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:19 AM PDT
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You know what vodka is surprisingly not that bad?
The Kirkland Signature one. I swear.
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:15 AM PDT
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Note that "surprisingly not that bad" != good
but I may have to give that a try.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
May 5, 2008 10:16 AM PDT
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Yeah, we only found this out when we permitted the cheap roommate who doesn't drink anything worthwhile
to buy the birthday party supplies. Usually it’s lots of crap, a two 12 packs of good-ish party beer (almost always Blue Moon) and one handle of Grey Goose or Belvedere.
My roommate came home with Coors Light and Kirkland Signature Vodka. I was not pleased.
by seattlebruin on
May 5, 2008 10:21 AM PDT
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Most vodka is interchangeable with other vodkas
when put into mixed drinks. Even freezer-chilled ones can surprise you- I’m convinced that the Poles keep their good stuff at home and put the second-class stuff into fancy bottles to sell to stupid Americans.
Case in point: we had a vodka party where we all brought freezer vodka to drink straight shots, and the one that won out over the Belvedere, Vox, Ciroc and Grey Goose was the Wyborowa I got from a friend of mine who went to a wedding in Poznan… and he paid something like 600 zlotys for it ($5).
by eponymous_coward on
May 5, 2008 10:46 AM PDT
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when was this?
because 600 zloty is like $250
by Matthew on
May 5, 2008 10:52 AM PDT
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All he said was it was about $5 for a fifth once the exchange rate was taken into account
Maybe I got the zlotys wrong.
by eponymous_coward on
May 5, 2008 10:54 AM PDT
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the USD figure is probably right
that jives with what I remember about alcohol prices in Poland.
the zloty is way off. Like 10-20 zloty.
by Matthew on
May 5, 2008 10:56 AM PDT
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And I'm rather fond of Wyborowa, obviously.
Pity it’s damn near impossible to find in this state.
by eponymous_coward on
May 5, 2008 10:58 AM PDT
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