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Around SBN: PHOTOS: Mike Moser's Dunk Face Is Spectacular

5/30: Open Game Thead, Part 2

Tiny by Matthew on in Seattle Mariners Game Threads

Hiroki Kuroda has a 4.15 tRA with a K/BB/HR line of 4.9 / 2.8 / 0.66.

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Read More: Detroit Tigers at Seattle Mariners, May 30, 2008 7:10 PM PDT

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he's not gone

but no butthol baiting is taking place in this thread.

by Matthew on May 30, 2008 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

butthol baiting

hee

by JI on May 30, 2008 8:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

If you are begging for Rally Fries

your life has not turned out the way you would have hoped.

by JI on May 30, 2008 8:23 PM PDT reply actions  

I wish I was there

I’d say “Gimme Rallie Fries, I have to watch this crap team every day, I need it. Also, Silva Sucks. And so do you Blowers.”

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

1 Run, 1 Hit, 4 Innings.

And they spent the whole pregame show talking about how Mariners love beating up left-handed pitchers.

by ThundaPC on May 30, 2008 8:23 PM PDT reply actions  

HALMAN

raking

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 8:24 PM PDT reply actions  

Lopes sucks

Defense

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 8:25 PM PDT reply actions  

How is Lopez's defense rated anyways?

I always thought he was slightly above average, but I can’t tell.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

Miggy Cabrera

with a Manny-like play, they’re about the same fatness as well…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:27 PM PDT reply actions  

Miguel Cabrera better start hitting a lot better.

Because his baserunning and glove do not an 8-year contract make worth.

by Matthew on May 30, 2008 8:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Still better to have him for 8

than Zito for 8. Or Silva for 4, Washbun for 4, and Sexson for 4

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

Does anyone have a solid idea what's up with him?

His LD%, HR/F% and GB% have all gone pretty far in the wrong direction this year.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 30, 2008 8:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

baserunning blunders

are always funny

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 8:29 PM PDT reply actions  

kay

I’m out dudes

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 8:30 PM PDT reply actions  

This offense could at least act like there is still a game to play

6 runs does seem like an impossible task right now, but there are fans watching this fucking game, and I’ll be damned if I watch the rest of this game and nobody scores another run I will seriously freak out man

by marinator on May 30, 2008 8:31 PM PDT reply actions  

Beltre bomb!

Why’s he tryiing? we lost…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:31 PM PDT reply actions  

I'm going to slap the next person...

who tries to argue that Beltre is a bust.

by Benne on May 30, 2008 8:32 PM PDT reply actions  

That one almost touched the ground

And kenji still got cntact, lol

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:33 PM PDT reply actions  

I'm all for weeding.

We need to have some kind of hidden thread, where only the good regulars can visit, so we can discuss who to get rid of.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

1998 Expansion Teams Reign Supreme!

by Goose on May 30, 2008 8:33 PM PDT reply actions  

we already have those

but it’s just Graham, Jeff and I. Mostly we talk about all of you.

by Matthew on May 30, 2008 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Talk about us?

Graham: JI is so dreamy.
Matthew: I’d hit that.
Jeff: Meh, I’d prefer LFoJL personally.

by BrianL on May 30, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

HAHA

I laughed pretty hard at this one

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

...

how the hell did you get ahold of those?

by Matthew on May 30, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

And you trust him?

Didn’t you campaign on a platform of Jeff lies?

by Matthew on May 30, 2008 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

Speaking of which

Where are the girls? Jeff promised girls if he won. So there. Lies.

by Fin on May 30, 2008 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

they'll be at the meeting

unless we use them up beforehand.

by Matthew on May 30, 2008 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

This is no good.

My girlfriend will be in the building.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 30, 2008 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

It was a great format.

Just really unwieldy. ~HD quality in the early 90’s, though.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 30, 2008 8:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

Good movie

the movie where that kid slips on a baseball and plays in the majors is better though. Its just so…. realistic.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

So is Night at the Roxbury

I loved that movie when I was a kid, not so great when I watched it 8 or so years later.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Here's a blast from the past.

Remember The Wizard? That movie was godawful.

by BrianL on May 30, 2008 8:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

I just watched that at work a few months ago.

I had no idea that Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley was in that movie.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 30, 2008 8:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

That happened with Silverado

for me…what made it worse was that I plugged the movie to my friends and made them watch it with me…they were not pleased.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

She's in a movie?

Now I gotta rent it, dammit.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

CALIFORNIA!

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

1998 Expansion Teams Reign Supreme!

by Goose on May 30, 2008 9:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

With a girl

I’ll ask how its going

by Robert on May 30, 2008 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

He's not replying back

I would take this as a good sign

by Robert on May 30, 2008 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

Dear cameraman-

Please pan to Section 108.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 30, 2008 9:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

This makes me nervous

now I feel like we’re all in tryouts and we might get cut at sent packing to HalosHeaven.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

I would hope not

They are like the Pirates, or the Mariners for that matter, of the blogosphere.

by Fin on May 30, 2008 8:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

I could hit 6th for Bucs Dugout

and that’s nothing against Charlie ‘cause he’s a great writer, they just don’t get a whole lot of traffic…I think it’d be neat to do a LL invasion there one day, but I understand it’s not something you want to over-do…

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

I understand

my drunkeness is having a hard time differentiating talk of the quality of blogs and the quality of the teams themselves…

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Elitists

Well fine then i’m going to pay my $20 bucks and eat all your appetizers… lol

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

KENJI POWER POP

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:34 PM PDT reply actions  

up

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

If Kenji took steroids

HE’d have 2 hrs, instead of 2 flyball outs…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:34 PM PDT reply actions  

Wait a minute...

That old lady second from right was my Grade 7 science teacher.

by BrianL on May 30, 2008 8:34 PM PDT reply actions  

For fuck's sake...

how much are those Rally Fries worth, 2 bucks?

by Benne on May 30, 2008 8:35 PM PDT reply actions  

Just because you have to pay 6 bucks for them

doesn’t mean they’re worth 6 bucks. example we paid 48 million for Silva. Real value? a bucket of lard and replacement level pitcher

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

We're paying...

...a whole helluvalot for Sexson, too. What’s he worth? I’d trade him for a corpse and a six-pack of Coors right now.

by Sentinel on May 30, 2008 8:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

I understand the 6 pack...

Not getting the corpse part

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Haha.

Announcers more enamored with Yuni-walks rather than Yuni-doubles.

by BrianL on May 30, 2008 8:46 PM PDT reply actions  

I see the positives in losing, for sure,

but damnit day in and day out it gets tiresome…nice to see the other team’s fans go home crying sometimes, yah know?

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

Winning is new and fresh every time we do it now

C’mon M’s! Bring back that loving feeling.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:53 PM PDT reply actions  

Since Robert is talking about girls, here's a question

Is it wrong for a guy one year out of college to go on a date with a girl that’s 2 weeks away from graduating high school? I’m only 22 and she’s 19 though, so not like age difference is that huge.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 8:55 PM PDT reply actions  

I had a girl 5 years younger go after me

and her myspace was filled with pictures of ponies

by Robert on May 30, 2008 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

Too young

It was a dateline mod.

by Fin on May 30, 2008 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

My old GF was obsessed with penguins

Probably not a good idea to date anyone with a furries fetish.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

There's actually a hot girl in BC Canada

that has a penguin fetish…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

oh, on that okcupid dating website

Probably should clarify that part, or else my comment just seems weird….

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Haha, I was thinking the same thing after I wrote that

“wtf, that doesn’t make it less weird you idiot” = my thoughts exactly

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

If the answer is yes then I'm a monumental pervert.

I was dating a 21 year old a month ago and I’m two months shy of 27.

You’re fine.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

No

As long as you are both mature…or both not mature.

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

What the fuck is wrong with that?

If she’s mature… that’s all that matters.

by lyleleander on May 30, 2008 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

K, cool.. thanks for the responses

She just randomly messaged me on that dating website Corco kept posting about when people were trying to get Jeff a date. I figure what the heck, i’ll give it a shot.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nice job Lowe.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:06 PM PDT reply actions  

I turned down a free ticket to this game today

I’m kind of glad…

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:08 PM PDT reply actions  

Who cares who's better

that’s like saying
dogshit > cat shit

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

hahahaha

Thats good

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 9:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm still kind of in awe that Miguel Cairo is starting.

and not only that but is inexplicably better than Richie Sexson…

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:12 PM PDT reply actions  

Mclaren's acting?

Worse than his managing?

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:15 PM PDT reply actions  

one gold glove thirdbaseman

grounds out to another

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:18 PM PDT reply actions  

Re-SIGN THIS MAN

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:18 PM PDT reply actions  

I know seriously, I almost feel like any idiot can be a decent GM

Here’s how, Hey team, I’ll save you $100 million dollars compared to the idiot you have now. How? Simple I won’t sign expensive guys who suck. Now, pay me $50 million dollars for this, and you’re still saving $50 milllion more than you were before.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

Knuckleballs

are always fun

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 9:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

Anyone want to wear a dog suit and run 3.1 miles with me next sunday?

Thee’s a race called the Furry 5k where you run with your dog, and I want to run in it.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:20 PM PDT reply actions  

Nationals pwn the Diamondbacks 7-4

It was a tie game until Micah Owings gave up a three-run home run to WILLIE FUCKING HARRIS. That’s like letting a fusion of Willie Bloomquist and Miguel Cairo beat you at the plate. Go Nats!

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:25 PM PDT reply actions  

Until he puts a couple of weeks in a row of looking good

I’m always going to be leery of him. But I’ll always love him for his 2006 awesomeness

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

I still can't believe thew alks

it’s like he and Morrow traded bodies.

by JI on May 30, 2008 9:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

Reggie Bush gets WAY too many endorsements

for how little he has accomplished professionally

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:26 PM PDT reply actions  

Brandon Inge>>>>>>>> WFB

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:26 PM PDT reply actions  

If the mariners come back

can we still give Silva the loss? Or at least take away one of his “quality starts”? If not, can we start tracking “craptacular starts” as an official stat? I bet we’d lead the league.

by PDXTai on May 30, 2008 9:27 PM PDT reply actions  

Not really worried

I’d just hate to see a start of Weaverian proportions like this go to waste.
Maybe we could just keep track of how many times a pitcher gave up more than 5 runs in an inning and call it a Weaver? Maybe make stats more sexy cause saberheads in their mom’s basement need love too.

by PDXTai on May 30, 2008 9:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well wrong already

since Ichrio flied out…. BUt you were wrong when you typed Vidro and homerun anyways

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

No way

That would mean Vidro is batting third. Couldn’t happen.

What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?

by rickpo on May 30, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

So she couldn't message you

I wouldn’t think it would be that hard.

by Fin on May 30, 2008 9:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Didn't you say you were 22?

A bit young to already be resorting to dating sites…

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:34 PM PDT up reply actions  

Let's think of some more. Does "Joba" count?

I think that one’s TOO much. Not solid brawny redneck so much as scrawny trailer trash.

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

Jarrod = not gritty, more yuppie douchebag.

I’m thinking of names that big burly Polish guys with tree-trunk arms and a fondeness for pirogies would have. Like “Stan.”

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

man I loved that guy

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bucky = gold.

Even some reasonably common names are good for this purpose. “Bob” for example. (Not Bobby, just Bob.) “Frank,” too.

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

So you're saying there's a chance....

(from dumb and Dumber)

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

When he asks the girl (lauren hollly)

What the chances are a guy like him and a girl like her are (he might’ve said a girl like him and a guy like her). He guesses 1 in a thousand, and she says more like 1 in a million. He looks devestated, and then goes…”so you’re saying there’s a chance”

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

Its where

the girl tells him the odds of her being with him were a one in a million chance. (later in the movie)

by Slica on May 30, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

I love how the bullpen is coming through again

now if only the rest of the team could catch up.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:40 PM PDT reply actions  

Eh, people are way too harsh on Jones.

So he made comments about homosexuals that made him seem like a benighted prat. He’s still well known as one of the gentlemen of the game. While Jeff Weaver and the rest of the Detroit Tigers were sexually harrassing and assaulting stewardesses on their private plane, Todd Jones was the one player who interposed himself between them and her and saved her from further indignity. I give him credit for that.

Plus, I actually sort of enjoy his columns in The Sporting News.

“Todd,” by the way, is one of the gayest names on the planet. Right up there with “Tad” and “Trevor.”

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Troy

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 30, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

No.

“Thad” is a classic northeastern blueblood yacht-club prat name. Not a gay name, just a douchebag name.

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

Don't forget Chad and Chaz

And Matthew, Jeff, and Graham

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well.

Tomorrow.

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 9:45 PM PDT reply actions  

Good Game Beltre though

Great game Beltre

Thats a Bedarded Trade

by Edgar for Mayor on May 30, 2008 9:46 PM PDT reply actions  

Your 2008 Mariners

There’s always next year. That’s our new slogan.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:46 PM PDT reply actions  

No there slogan should be

“So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

by Fin on May 30, 2008 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Haha, yes that would be a good one.

They could show Jim Carrey up on the Jumbotron.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on May 30, 2008 9:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

Dear God.

As crude as it looked at first, there’s really no other way to describe it.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 30, 2008 9:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

By the way, while we were watching the Mariners fail, the Padres just hit into a one pitch triple play.

The Giants reliever came in, threw one pitch, and got Kouzmanoff to auto-destruct the Padres’ two-on, nobody out rally.

by esoteric on May 30, 2008 9:54 PM PDT reply actions  

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