18-32

by Jeff Sullivan on May 24, 2008 3:39 PM PDT in Seattle Mariners Game Recaps

I write for fun. However, this team isn't fun to write about. So I won't write about them. Here's a story about a severed human foot. I think you'll find it invigorating.

Biggest Contribution: Jose Vidro, +16.3%
Biggest Suckfest: Carlos Silva, -35.5%
Most Important AB: Vidro homer, +17.4%
Most Important Pitch: Abreu homer, -18.3%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -40.8%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -9.2%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)

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This post brought to you by Happy Funtime Abortion Clinic: We'll Bring the Kid out of You!

by esoteric on May 24, 2008 3:43 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

In other news, Brad Wilkerson hit a grand slam today

Maybe we’ll trade some prospects to get him back.

by AtomicGarden on May 24, 2008 3:57 PM PDT reply actions

Well, I mean...

At least it wasn’t a slide. It was more of a rolling hill.

...and now I'm here

by CapSea on May 24, 2008 3:58 PM PDT reply actions

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 24, 2008 4:02 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs

rec'd

by JI on May 24, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions

rec'ed for curiosity

by Robert on May 24, 2008 7:23 PM PDT up reply actions

It's okay guys. The Rays are up 9-1 in the second.

"I've seen many, many blue skies turn gray, but the sun will eventually return, and so will I. So will I." - Carlos Pena

by R.J. Anderson on May 24, 2008 4:05 PM PDT reply actions

Now 11-3

Thank you, Rays.

by ThundaPC on May 24, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions

Steve Trachsel against us: 5.2 innings, 2 runs, 6 baserunners

Steve Trachsel against everyone else: 28 innings, 33 runs, 62 baserunners

by Jeff Sullivan on May 24, 2008 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions

I think when the Rays start to hit they will be a good team.

by JI on May 24, 2008 5:09 PM PDT up reply actions

Hey

"Popularity is fleeting. … Principles are forever." - George W. Bush

by Longhorn on May 24, 2008 4:08 PM PDT reply actions

Cheer up

I’m starting my LL archive project

by Robert on May 24, 2008 4:32 PM PDT reply actions

Baker: Carlos Silva on clubhouse accountability

This is getting comical.

by ThundaPC on May 24, 2008 5:07 PM PDT reply actions

Hahaha

Carlos Silva agrees with what Bill Bavasi had to say today. The veteran starter, in his first year with the Mariners, feels that some players have to be spoken to and he’s on the verge of doing it.

So he’s going to talk to himself in the mirror about developing an out pitch?

by Gomez on May 24, 2008 5:21 PM PDT up reply actions

Instead of watching the Mariners today, I did something fun.

I went and watched Brian Matusz pitch in the WCC Championships. Pretty impressive.

Also, I had forgotten how cool college games are—even in a playoff game, tickets were $5 (for a double-header, no less) and I was about 40 feet from home plate.

by Teej on May 24, 2008 5:08 PM PDT reply actions

I haven't watched in days

The conclusion just seemed foregone a week ago.

I love how cheap college baseball is, and that you can sit right behind home plate as long as you get there early enough. I got to see several Lincecum starts at UW in some of the best seats in the house.

by Gomez on May 24, 2008 5:20 PM PDT up reply actions

If this was a strong effort to end the slide

I’d hate to see the end result of a weak effort.

by Gomez on May 24, 2008 5:19 PM PDT reply actions

The best part is how they had that headline before the first pitch was thrown

by Jeff Sullivan on May 24, 2008 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions

Hm... I guess we did see it then

by Gomez on May 24, 2008 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm just proud of the MLB.com headline writers whenever they write something that's not a pun on someone's name.

Today’s worst: Frenchy fries D-Backs

by Teej on May 24, 2008 5:34 PM PDT up reply actions

Although CBS Sportsline might be worse.

From a few days ago: Howard goes double-dong for Phils

by Teej on May 24, 2008 5:37 PM PDT up reply actions

I hope Kreuger gave them a green check for adhering to the Mariner Way.

by discovolante on May 24, 2008 5:21 PM PDT reply actions

You guys suck

You guys are going to put the Yankees up over .500 and we’ll have to hear ESPN do a dramatic piece about how the Yankees overcame a struggle as a team to regain the magic regardless of the fact that they beat the other worst team in the AL besides themselves.

Only on ESPN would a last place team get top billing.

by Sylar on May 24, 2008 5:41 PM PDT reply actions

There has to be some sort of awesome .gif you could use to express your frustration.

by Teej on May 24, 2008 5:47 PM PDT up reply actions

Here I did it for them.

The Yankees 2008 season has started out as one of the worst in recent club history. Conflicted with inner turmoil from both the front office and the team, the Yankees started off the season on a losing record. Major players like Alex Rodriguez© and Jason Giambi® were underperforming, citing team strugles between who gets the PED shot next affecting their games.

But now, the Bronx Bombers are back, pulling together again and proving to Major League Baseball why they’re a force to be reckoned with.

BUY YOUR ESPN MOBILE DEVICE TODAY!

The Mariners are perhaps one of the toughest teams in the 2008 season of Major League Baseball. The Yankees, coming in as the underdogs in the epic matchup of massive porportions, were destined to failure facing the likes of King Felix and Erik Bedard. But all of that was turned away when in the first game of the long series, Alex Rodriguez© blasted a home run to pave the road to victory for his team.

“It was real good mang!” Stated Rodriguez© after enjoying a nice mixed drink from teammate Joba Chamberlaign. “You see this kid? He duh fudure mang. All fit pumpin and mora.”

No seriously, buy our fucking devices!

“It’s hard facing a power team like the Seattle Mariners man.” Says often hailed teammate Johnny Damon. “But you know, you gotta go at it everyday and just say ‘the dude abides’. “

Will the recent phenominal performance of the 2008 Yankees hold up? With showing naysayers that they can compete with A+ defensive teams like the Mariners, we have to say yes.

“Do I think we could take the Royals and the Tigers?” Mike Mussina states after putting on a golden thong. “You tell me.”

by Sylar on May 24, 2008 5:58 PM PDT up reply actions

We did this last year.

Woke the Yankees up and got hated by fans everywhere else.

But since people still watch ESPN, they can go fuck themselves anyways. Mariners style.

by Slica on May 24, 2008 5:57 PM PDT up reply actions

Seriously, who watches ESPN for "content" anymore?

Sportscenter is completely obsolete when you can get highlights direct from the league website, and better analysis for anything from a plethora of online origins.

The less of the Worldwide Leader in your life, the better (unless Terrel Owens tries to kill himself again).

by Jordan of Boise on May 24, 2008 7:40 PM PDT up reply actions

A lot of people

Not many people realize how lacking in validity ESPN’s reporting and analysis is.

by Gomez on May 24, 2008 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions

I hate ESPN's coverage as much as the next guy,

But my laptop doesn’t make watching videos on the internet as fun as on my, say, HDTV. And I’m limited to SportsCenter or Fox Sports Final Score. I watch it for mindless highlights, almost in the background.

I don’t think I’ve visited ESPN’s website for at least a couple months, though.

by AtomicGarden on May 24, 2008 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions