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5/13: Open Game Thread

Seattle Mariners at Texas Rangers, May 13, 2008 5:05 PM PDT






W-LGGSCGSHOSVBSIPHRERHRBBKERAWHIP
2008 - Felix Hernandez 2-3 8 8 1 0 0 0 55.1 57 23 21 5 22 49 3.42 1.43


W-LGGSCGSHOSVBSIPHRERHRBBKERAWHIP
2008 - Kason Gabbard 1-0 5 5 0 0 0 0 24.1 23 5 5 1 13 9 1.85 1.48


Kason Gabbard sucks, we suck more, and Felix has been kind of annoying lately, so this one's set up to be right proper stupid.

0 recs  |  Comment 423 comments

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I think WFB should charge the 2nd baseman.

Just to be different.

I like midgets more than I should.

by Thingray on May 13, 2008 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That'd be cool

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 13, 2008 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Interesting

I think Willie should charge his own clubhouse. Every day.

by Gomez on May 13, 2008 4:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

it's raining here

this day needs more sunshine

by Matthew on May 13, 2008 4:05 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'd prefer lollipops

But maybe thats only because I like the rain.

by Robert on May 13, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hint, hint...

I like midgets more than I should.

by Thingray on May 13, 2008 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

He has averagish speed.

Everyone knows you need speed in the 2 hole right?

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Suicide, cutting wrists, and xanax

Everything sucks like shit now that
we are Ms fans

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 13, 2008 4:15 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Those Hardball made easy videos

are hilarious. Ron Stilanovich > all.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 4:22 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

The one with Matt Kemp is my favorite.

GARY TUSH!
RATFLAT!

And then he starts chewing the kid out after he runs away. Hilarious.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I gotta admit

I love the one on scrappyness. I did the whole squat so that my strike zone is non existent when I was in 7th grade.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Lopez 2008

157 AB: 3 BB, 9 SO

Putting the ball in play. His OBP is lower than his AVG.

by vkut79 on May 13, 2008 4:34 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

So... My neighbor is listening to Third Eye Blind loud enough I can hear it.

I have 200 dollars of work still to do.
And the Mariners are about to lose on Felix day.

I’m not excited for the next several hours.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:41 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I really hope the Celtics pull out this series

Because I had a chance to take the Cavs at 85-1 to win it all at the MGM on Friday night and didn’t because the book was closed. If they win it all, I am going to massively regret it.

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:43 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

85 to 1?

Shit, I would have taken those odds on the sonics this year. Just throw in 20 bucks and pray.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well..

This answers that question in multiple different ways.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well that's like cherry picking

I get a certain satisfaction from going out on a limb to win a huge bet

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Back when online gambling was illegal.

I did a 12 team parlay and spent only 1 dollar. I won 125. That was like the greatest thing to ever happen.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Excuse me.

*Legal

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Online gambling is still basically legal in California :)

I love parlays. I hate the Oklahoma State for the worst sports bet loss of all time, while we’re on the subject

I took Texas -2.5 @ OSU earlier this year. UT is up 3, OSU has the ball with about ten seconds to play – they miss, foul Augustin, he makes two free throws – five point game with 8 seconds to play. OSU runs down the court, and their guy heaves in a 30 footer with two seconds to play to cut the lead to two…. and then they don’t foul on the inbounds and cover by half a point.

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:50 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You have any websites you use that are trustworthy?

I signed up for one, but they wanted my social security number, and I don’t give that to anyone unless I’m 100% sure I can trust them.

Also, none of them take credit cards or paypal, but I don’t know which companies I can trust (Firepay, etc.) to use instead.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Bodog is still really safe, and they won't ask for your SSN.

I believe they still accept major credit cards too, along with all the typical online wallet sites

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:52 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

What.. really?

I hadn’t heard that at all. That’s awesome. Bodog Life?

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah, Bodog is pretty awesome

they’ll let you bet on anything too. For the Super Bowl, they had O/Us on the length of Jordin Sparks singing the national anthem and the color of Gatorade dumped on the winning coach (purple went off at 16:1)

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Huh. Just to be sure...

This is bodoglife.com. Not some other site, yeah?

I know that sounds stupid but I’ve come across like 3 Bodogs, one of them was free for no $$, the other looked like spam.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:56 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think I once heard that being caught participating in online gambling

carries the same penalty as being caught with child pornography in this state.

Nice to know we’ve got our priorities straight.

by BrianL on May 13, 2008 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Might I recommend Eraser?

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 13, 2008 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Seconded.

Also comes with an excellent drive cleaner.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Has anyone been prosecuted for gambling yet?

I know that it’s technically illegal a lot of places but it’s more to keep sites from aggressively marketing there, and they really have no way/intention of enforcing it.

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think anyone has been prosecuted for it yet.

The theoretical penalty still bothers me, though.

by BrianL on May 13, 2008 4:54 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah, I know what you mean

it’s really quite stupid that Washington is also a state with plentiful 18 and over casinos, yet you can’t play poker online.

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You can play poker online.

Just as long as it’s not a Class III game(meaning actual money involved).

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

If you talk to most WSGC agents, most will tell that they think this state's policy on online gambling

is way too aggressive.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:27 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I haven't been watching the playoffs

But I don’t see how Garnett, Pierce and Allen could ever lose a game, let alone what… 14 they lost this year? Unless Allen takes every shot, since he is overrated.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

They've lost every road game they've played, and most of them haven't been terribly close

And right now, LeBron is in “I am LeBron and I am going to fucking own you” mode (or he has been for the two Cavs home games)

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well, I mean...

He is Lebron and he will fucking own you.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Lol

but yeah, LeBron when he is angry is pretty much unstoppable. Unless you have a taser.

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

He still doesn't have a jump shot

I thought 6 years ago he’d develop one, but nope.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's passable.

With his skillset, passable is good enough.

by seattlebruin on May 13, 2008 5:24 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

He shoots too many 3's

for a guy who has no jump shot. Honestly I don’t find watching him bull doze people in the lane and hope for a foul that much at all.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Bring back Rich-ie

Clap, clap, clapclapclap….

by ThundaPC on May 13, 2008 4:50 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Well, she does have a short memory

In college I asked her out and she damn near laughed in my face.

The next year I ran into her in Arizona and she came up to me and asked where she knew me from.

She knows what she speaks of.

by Sec 108 on May 13, 2008 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just be glad she said no!

How’d you like to be stuck with her now?

I like midgets more than I should.

by Thingray on May 13, 2008 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I would have loved to stick her when she was 21.

I am very happy with my wife though, so no complaints.

by Sec 108 on May 13, 2008 5:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

She must have looked much better then.

I like midgets more than I should.

by Thingray on May 13, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Much

Well enjoy the game fellas. I’m off on my commute.

by Sec 108 on May 13, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well I'm going to miss my first Felix day of the season.

My dad’s buying a new car and I have to go with him. Apparently my brother hates driving on the highway.

by BrianL on May 13, 2008 4:57 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What? That's crazy.

The highway’s the only place I like driving. Less traffic, less chaos, fewer idiots.

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 13, 2008 5:18 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's emptier than a Safeco crowd.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:06 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Wow, the Mariners have walked 54 batters in May.

Seems just a bit high.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:07 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Mariners lead the majors in 54 walks in May!

Whooo…..patience!!

Oh…you mean, that’s by our pitchers….

by ThundaPC on May 13, 2008 5:07 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Oh hey another game against Texas.

Yay.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:08 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Well that's a good way to start it.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:12 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Defense loses championships.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:12 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Let's trade Felix for young arms

And by ‘arms’ I mean automatic weapons to shoot this team with

by Graham on May 13, 2008 5:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Young automatic weapons?

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I dunno

the AK47 is pretty damn near indestructable, if not terribly accurate.

It’s kind of the Jarrod Washburn of small arms. :(

by eponymous_coward on May 13, 2008 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

They called that an error?

By those standards Michael Young would have like 90 errors a week.

by Jeff on May 13, 2008 5:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Gasp

Rangers color commentator talking about Small Sample Size!

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 5:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

"In 2007, the Rockies were not a fluke"

The Rockies are 8 games back.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:21 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Boston losing, Rays/Yankees no score.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:22 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

CLAP CLAP SMILE SMILE

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on May 13, 2008 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Family of 10

kids named Levi and Caleb?

Totally LDS.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 5:22 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Loafie :)

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:23 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

That's right Blowers, the overall defense has been fantastic this year.

Keep telling yourself that.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:23 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Lopez still rules

(Yea, I forgive you for yesterday’s brain fart)

by ThundaPC on May 13, 2008 5:23 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Hmmm

BREAKING NEWS: Baseball star Barry Bonds has been charged by the federal government in a new indictment with 14 counts of lying and one count of obstruction of justice.

You think we’ll sign him now?

by eponymous_coward on May 13, 2008 5:26 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Awesome does little good from jail.

I guess that could happen AFTER the 2008 season concludes.

by eponymous_coward on May 13, 2008 5:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hi Dad! I'm in JAIL!

/King Missile

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 13, 2008 5:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

So Raul doesn't cost us runs with the glove does he?

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:35 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

That was graceful.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Speaking of which, they just took the lead.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I kid you not,,,

Laird chose the #15 for 1 man 5 tools…..

by laxtonto on May 13, 2008 5:38 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

UGH.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

5 tools?

Fork, Spoon,knife, salad spoon, and spork?

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 6:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Taco salad?

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 6:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Why don't hitters swing at any pitches out of the zone against us?

I don’t get it but it sure seems like hitters just take take take take take take vs. our pitchers this year. Like, way more than last year. Is there any way to back this up?

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:38 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

And then that happens.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 5:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Is Felix hurt? or just tired from overwork?

He is throwing 2mph slower than last year..

by Kaorikaze on May 13, 2008 5:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Overwork?

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think they played "Back Then" by Mike Jones for Randy Winn back when he was with the Mariners.

But most white people don’t know what skeet means, so I think he could get away with playing the song.

by Fin on May 13, 2008 5:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Exactly.

Soccer moms going “SKEET SKEET SKEET” while not knowing what it means. If they ever did, Anaheim would collapse into a nuked crater.

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on May 13, 2008 5:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

haha

I think today’s version of that is seeing middle aged white people dance to the song crank dat, little do they knowing its about [bleep]ing a girl.

by Fin on May 13, 2008 5:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I like how we're censoring ourselves now

Game threads are so mellow when we suck.

by Jeff on May 13, 2008 5:50 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I found it particularly hilarious

when I started seeing white soccer moms trying to look and act younger than their age singing and dancing to that song when it was popular.

NEEDS LESS SUCK

by Double06 on May 13, 2008 5:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

1-2 punch!

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That was a strike

Asshole.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 13, 2008 5:43 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Nice DP, but

time to be good again Felix.

by Happybelly on May 13, 2008 5:44 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

That is Good Felix

Groundballs and strikeouts. Only the linedrive that Raul sucked at was a bad Felix time. The walk seemed like a slight squeezing.

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 13, 2008 5:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh yeah. I forgot the Rangers play the FSN theme song after almost every freaking play.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Nice power swing Cairo

185 feet later…

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 13, 2008 5:50 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

They still haven't turned that error in the first

From yesterday’s game into a hit for Beltre have they? Pretty harsh for a guy who’s already unlucky as [smurf].

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 13, 2008 5:52 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Nope

that was an error, and the play he made in the first today was an error. Guy can’t buy a break.

by Jeff on May 13, 2008 5:52 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

was about to say the same

but with less legit supporting numbers.

boy these fuckers are dumb.

“262 hits sounds selfish, but thats how he helps his team”

really?

REALLY?

awesome.

by PShwa on May 13, 2008 5:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's kinda funny considering that right or wrong, most people would probably consider

Ichiro THE greatest leadoff hitter of all time.

Because really, when you think leadoff hitter, Ichiro is generally the first name you think of.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Right

Would Ichiro do better as a #2 hitter if the Mariners had another adequate person for lead off, such as 2003 Juan Pierre?

by Fin on May 13, 2008 5:56 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Raul vs. Lefty

Bambi vs. Godzilla

Fans are typically idiots.

by The Typical Idiot Fan on May 13, 2008 5:53 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

So Edwin Jackson hasn't been terrible this year.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 5:56 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This strikezone is really inconsistent.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 6:01 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I don't think the Rangers broadcast

has said anything about the game in 10 minutes.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 13, 2008 6:04 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What's the Mariner equivalent of Edinson Volquez?

‘cause Hamilton sure would look pretty in a Mariners uni.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 13, 2008 6:04 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Padres have the lead in Chicago

So, we got that going for us

by edddgar on May 13, 2008 6:06 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Kenji is very very slow.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 6:07 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

very very very slow

At least we don't have Zito's contract.

by ColeFitz on May 13, 2008 6:08 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Did anyone understand what Dave Sims just said?

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm really surprised he said it.

In this day and age some people could really take that the wrong way.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 6:12 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I just seriously didn't understand it.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on May 13, 2008 6:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"He will stick the needle in you."

.....

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 13, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

ALERT ALERT ALERT REMEMBER

DRaysBay game thread invasion, this Saturday, 10am start time.

by Jeff on May 13, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Poop.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on May 13, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs