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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

Series Preview: Seattle Mariners @ Texas Rangers

Tiny by Matthew on in Seattle Mariners Previews

Seattle: 15-24
Rangers:18-21

GAMES

Game 1: Erik Bedard* vs Vicente Padilla
Game 2: Felix Hernandez vs Kason Gabbard*
Game 3: Carlos Silva vs Scott Feldman

Our top of the rotation against the Rangers...well...something. We might pull another game out this series.

Star-divide

Likely Starters:
C Gerald Laird/Jarrod Saltalamacchia^
1 Chris Shelton
2 Ian Kinsler/German Duran
3 Ramon Vazquez
S Michael Young
L Brandon Boggs^
C Josh Hamilton*
R David Murphy*
D Milton Bradley^

We just got done seeing this lineup. Not much has changed. Frank Catalanotto might make an appearance at first base if that counts.

CONTEXT

I didn't watch a lick of Mariner baseball all weekend. It was nice. I kept up on the scores now and then, but it was sunny and warm in San Francisco and there were good people, good company and good beer and so I don't have much anything to say about our team and considering that we just got done playing four games against the Rangers three days ago, I don't have anything further to say about them. Also, I'm tired.

THIS SERIES BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Pliny the Elder
Russian River Brewing. Santa Rosa, CA

$3.50/pint at Toronado happy hour; a Matthew and Jeff-approved awesome place to drink.

Comment 148 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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No way man, Vidro should charge the mound against Padilla.

It’ll be like that scene in Time Cop where the two Ron Silvers collide with each other. Vidro and Padilla will morph into a gelatinous mass upon impact and then explode, showering Rangers’ fans Vidalla goo.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 12, 2008 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Again with the beer.

Pop goes the buttsy on the left hand side!!

by PhilKenSebben on May 12, 2008 10:39 AM PDT reply actions  

Coach Owens v2.0

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions  

Nobody should endorse bottled water.

/soap box.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions  

Heh. The worst offender.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

Well, maybe not since they at least admit that they use tap water.

And now I’m talking to myself.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

I'm right there with you

It’s just not a fight I feel like fighting.

Also, the amount of plastic used in bottled water is incredibly damaging to the environment. And yeah, you’re drinking filtered tap water.

Also, in Dasani’s case I’ve heard they add a bit of sodium to it to make you thirstier, but that’s probably just a myth.

by Matthew on May 12, 2008 11:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

The plastic is my main beef with bottled water (and by extension bottled soda).

But I also take issue with the fact that most bottled water is just filtered tap water.

And, at least according to Wikipedia, Dasani adds all sorts of salt to their water.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:30 AM PDT up reply actions  

Just for the record, I was being entirely sarcastic

and I actually endorse Brita filters and Target brand bottled water when need be (if anyone cares about my filtered water preferences)

:(

by seattlebruin on May 12, 2008 11:30 AM PDT up reply actions  

I endorse not drinking tap water in LA

and I don’t have anywhere to store a filter at work

by seattlebruin on May 12, 2008 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions  

*shudder*

I used to live in San Diego. You could pull a glass of water from the tap, set it on the counter for 15 minutes, and when you came back to look at it there was a mountain range of sediment that had settled out of the water on the bottom of the glass.

God, that shit tasted disgusting.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

To clarify:

I actually lived in Imperial Beach. Nobody knows where that is, so I just say ‘San Diego.’

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Worse than Phoenix??!

Wow, I’ve tasted Phoenix water and it made me want to retch.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

Denver's too.

Spokane’s water tastes relatively good.

by JI on May 12, 2008 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

I think we have good water

it can have high levels of lead during crazy flood stages.

by InSpokane on May 12, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

Phoenix is hell

Boise has delicious water

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on May 12, 2008 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

honestly

I think people down here make too big a deal out of the tap water. Its not as bad as say, Texas where it actually came out of the tap brown. I think people in LA are just picky.

The poster formerly known as Matt.

by bluemax on May 12, 2008 12:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I had to look it up, too.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

I found it hilarious when I learned that Dasani (for their Canadian water)

uses tap water from Calgary. I’ve spent a lot of time in Calgary over the years, and I’ve always thought they had excellent tap water. Apparently Coca-Cola agrees.

Vancouver’s tap water, on the other hand, has caused me to opt for bottled water delivery (I have a water cooler, and about 200 L of water stockpiled in case of earthquake).

I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.

by Llewdor on May 12, 2008 12:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

Fuck that. Beer is good.

If people don’t like beer, that’s their problem. I don’t preach, and I don’t like being preached to. Well, I do preach, but it’s more like “why do you drink that crappy beer when you could have some tasty Anderson Valley Summer Solstice” or something.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 12, 2008 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions  

Never got into Blue Moon very much

I’m not sure why, but for some reason none of their beers taste that great to me. I’ve never tried that one, though, might have to give it a shot.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 12, 2008 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions  

I agree with this 100%.

Over-rated CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

Perhaps it's because it's Coors.

It’s like the Weinhard’s of Belgian style beer. It’s fine, but there are much better ways to go.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 12, 2008 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

It's good and easy to find

yes, there is definitely better Belgian style beers :(

by seattlebruin on May 12, 2008 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions  

"there is?"

who the fuck do I think I am, Jarrod Washburn?

by seattlebruin on May 12, 2008 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

I can't find that stuff anywhere.

Winter Solstice was available at Fred Meyer for crissakes, but Summer Solstice has eluded my grasp as of yet.

-aaron c.

by Aaron Campeau on May 12, 2008 11:32 AM PDT up reply actions  

I found it at a Vons one day

I had no idea, I hadn’t seen it in ages. I was really happy, because it was on sale too ($5.99/6-pack)

by seattlebruin on May 12, 2008 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

FM's pretty inconsistent

Wild Oats/Whole Foods always has AV, even the seasonals (at least in Portland), and most “upscale” markets will generally carry it too.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on May 12, 2008 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions  

Or you could always go with...

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

Life is good

I had two of those in rapid succession before an Alan Jackson concert last friday

Half an hour later my father was Dave Thomas’s best friend and I was offering random girls $10 million for a blow job

Bad times my friend

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on May 12, 2008 12:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

yes

when I told them to put it on my tab they declined

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on May 12, 2008 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

Alan Jackson is the man

That’s indisputable

I made that decision sober

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on May 12, 2008 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

I made the decision to drink one 40 of OE sober

Then went to the store and got another

I still have a headache :(

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on May 12, 2008 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

also not saying my decisions are always good

but I stand by Alan Jackson through thick and thin

Determined, Jonesing Commentor

by Corco on May 12, 2008 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

18-1

Pop goes the buttsy on the left hand side!!

by PhilKenSebben on May 12, 2008 4:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

I prefer Mac & Jack's Amber

Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?

by The Alaskan on May 12, 2008 12:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

I had some Dead Guy this weekend.

God, I love that beer.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Also, I'm always down for some online Grand Theft Auto IV or Rock Band. Gamertag: Phildopip

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 12, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

And sometimes Lupus right?

At least we don't have Zito's contract.

by ColeFitz on May 12, 2008 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

We need to practice restraint

only on House days, except for when someone is making a truly horrific arguement

by JI on May 12, 2008 12:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

+1!

/banned

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

"I eagerly await the day when I can shit in the living room"
~Robert

by Goose on May 12, 2008 12:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Also:

How sad is it that we’re saying “We might pull another game out this series” about TEXAS?

Must-win series in May. Jesus Tapdancing Christ.

by eponymous_coward on May 12, 2008 12:37 PM PDT reply actions  

Someone forgot to touch the opposite pole

and make the must win series become must lose series

by seattlebruin on May 12, 2008 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah

They’re ‘Nice if we win’ series at this point.

by Gomez on May 12, 2008 12:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

No

We’re at ‘Tank for Strausberg” at this point.

by Jordan of Boise on May 12, 2008 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

I disagree

Given the choice between mediocrity and epic failure, I’d rather this team be spectacular at being bad.

by Graham MacAree on May 12, 2008 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

Too many good players to really suck.

Though come to think of it, the 1992 Mariners had:

Edgar winning a batting title
Big Unit
Junior
Buhner
Omar

and they managed to suck pretty horribly.

by eponymous_coward on May 12, 2008 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

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