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15-24

We won a game? I'm as confused about this as the rest of you.

Winexp5_11_medium

Biggest Contribution: Probably Ibanez
Biggest Suckfest: Probably Batista
(If you want a real chart click here)

Miguel Batista led off the game by allowing three singles in a row, then recorded an out before yielding a Raul-assisted RBI double to AJ Pierzinski. Down 2 runs, we all knew in our hearts that the game was done and dusted, and prepared ourselves for glacially slow impending doom.

For the first time all season, the Mariners disagreed. Ichiro ripped a double down the right field line which Swisher decided to bobble, allowing him an extra base. One Cairo groundout later than the Mariners were on the board. Beltre and Ibanez went down quietly, but we had halved the ChiSox's lead.

Batista attempted to kill the momentum by putting runners at the corners with 1 down, but Johjima and Betancourt combined for one of the weirdest double plays you'll ever see. Quentin chopped a ball off the ground, Kenji snagged it, tagged the batter and threw down to second where Betancourt tagged Cabrera running from first.

Jose Lopez led off the second by rifling a pitch down the left field line for a double, and two batters later Wlad Balentien was at the plate with the based juiced and no out. Conditions were perfect for a 1-2-3 double play, and Balentien obliged, with Betancourt grounding out to end the inning.

Just as we were getting over this amazing display of offensive futility, we had runners at first and second with no outs for King Awesome, who hit a slow ground ball to short and was standing on first several years before Uribe's throw reached Konerko, thereby being called out on the little known 'you got here too quickly' rule. Squinty came out to have a bit of a chat with the umps about that but forgot what he was doing midway through the conversation and went back to the dugout for a nap.

And then Ibanez hit a bomb to right field.

And we had the lead.

And it landed ~450 feet from the plate.

This was confusing. The White Sox obviously thought so too, as they were powerless to stop Tits from having his way with them in the top of the inning,  producing a flyout and two called strikes. The bottom of the inning saw Betancourt drive in Joh and Wlad with a bloop double down the right field line, and several walks later Lopez mashed a ball into left field, which Safeco chewed up and spat into the waiting glove of Carlos Quentin. Still, it was 5-2 and we didn't quite know what to do with ourselves.

Batista ran into trouble in the 6th, but Rhodes relieved him and managed to get out of the inning only giving up one run. The bottom of the inning saw Safeco say 'fuck you' to an Adrian Beltre homer to right centre, and then it stayed 5-3 for a little while, punctuated by an effective inning by Brandon Morrow, who looked great in striking out both Quentin and Thome. Kenji got a power pitch in the bottom of the 8th and turned on it for his first warning-track-flyout-which-should-have-been-a-home-run of the year (are you sensing a theme?). We got an insurance run in anyway as Swisher gifted Cairo a double, allowing Betancourt to score.

Putz came in and did his job. The fastball command was back, and although he looked a little shaky on the walk he bounced back to strike out Swisher to end the game and the Mariner losing streak.

Yaaaaay.

Points to take away:

  • We were mashing the ball today, and were unlucky to have only scored 6 runs.
  • Lopez hit the ball really well all four times he was up, with a double, two sharply hit singles, and a very long flyout.
  • Beltre is an unlucky bastard. Robbed by Cabrera in the first, cheated in the third, and then hit the ball very hard in his next two at bats, and only an 0-4 day to show for it.
  • Clement will look great for most of an at-bat and then do absolutely nothing with the last pitch. It's pretty frustrating.
  • I don't know how Jeff writes these things every day. He's back soon anyway and you'll get real win expectancy graphs and other assorted goodies.

Strasburg Watch

We came into today a half game ahead of the Padres for the worst record in baseball, and blew an opportunity to take the tail as they won 6-1 against Colorado.  KC and San Francisco both lost the opportunity to give up ground, but Cincinnati and Washington took full advantage to pull closer to last place. We still sit a half game ahead of San Diego, with Colorado, Cincinnati, and Washington in front of us by the same margin.

It's going to be an interesting race. If we're going to be terrible, we might as well do it with some style.

 

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10 runs in 2 games.

Offense may be returning back to normal.

by ThundaPC on May 11, 2008 5:13 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

10 in Binary???

Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum

by PositivePaul on May 11, 2008 10:59 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

That makes our normal line look great.

From Friday’s game:
SEA 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 7 0

001000001 = 65

That’s gotta be a record or something.

by Faux on May 12, 2008 4:16 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

What's worse,

I actually knew that number off the top of my head.

by Faux on May 12, 2008 10:45 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Wow

How often do people need to use binary these days?

by thewyrm on May 12, 2008 11:11 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

It's a holdover from...

my Cisco training days. They beat into your head (or at least used to in the lower tests) knowing binary conversions, for use in super/subnets. Now that there are structures in place that make that obsolete, I hope they’ve gotten rid of it.

by Faux on May 12, 2008 1:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I wouldn't call that many runs 'normal' for this offense

Did you like the ‘single inverted commas’, Graham? (Note placement of comma too).

by chinn on May 11, 2008 5:14 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

Teixeira/Strasburg '08

Or the terrorists win.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 11, 2008 5:16 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

I don't

It’s there for a reason. If it’s gonna be used to make a joke, then get rid of it.

by thecapn on May 11, 2008 5:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Jokes suck huh?

The artist formerly known as Katal

by EricBehrens on May 11, 2008 5:25 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Jokes suck

when they replace good information for the sake of them.

I mean, if you want to tell me that they’ve been posted up there for several seasons just to set up some light chuckles during an inconsequential series in May, then that’s impressive foresight.

by thecapn on May 11, 2008 5:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

oops

I did see that they’re only temporary ‘til Jeff gets back. I’m not too fired up.

by thecapn on May 11, 2008 5:32 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Today's WE chart didn't replace a "real" one

Jeff is out of town this weekend. You can’t expect Graham or anyone else to bother putting a “real” WE chart together. Therefore we’re getting the next best thing.

The artist formerly known as Katal

by EricBehrens on May 11, 2008 5:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Dang

If I had tabbed right I would’ve beat you to it. :)

by thecapn on May 11, 2008 5:32 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Biggest suckfest: Richie Sexson

by Gomez on May 11, 2008 5:53 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   1 recs

For those of you who hate jokes

I give you this.

(Not a HaloRoll , I promise).

by JI on May 11, 2008 6:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Thanks :)

And I assure you that most of my time on this site is for the jokes.

by thecapn on May 11, 2008 6:17 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

That's the thing with rooting for your team to suck to get the #1 pick

Sure, you get the best player in the draft. But the rest of your team still sucks. And you still somehow have to improve most other facets of your team.

by Gomez on May 11, 2008 5:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Yeah, agreed on that. At least be really good at one or the other. Too many years

of mediocrity. I would hate to kick ass down the stretch to finish 78-84 or something, ugh.

by ASUBoyd on May 11, 2008 6:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I hoping...

That the Padres haven’t learned their lesson and try something along the lines of Matt Bush again.

It could happen.

"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/milb-mariners/

by JY on May 11, 2008 7:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

If the M's are sellers, what are they going to sell?

Bedard and Beltre are trapped in Safeco for one more year, so it might be silly to give up on 2009. I don’t think anyone will be taking a pass at Washburn or Batista though. Unless someone has naked pictures of Jim Bowden.

Does anyone have naked pictures of Jim Bowden?

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 11, 2008 6:08 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

A year or two ago maybe

But collective group think appears to be steering General Managers away from committing large piles of cash to creaky veterans. The MLBPA would call this collusion. Everyone else would call it an intellectual awakening. Or something.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 11, 2008 6:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Believe it or not

we have a fairly good core. It’s a monument to this regime’s ineptitude that we can’t even fin replacement level players to play 1B/DH/RF. If we get a decent LFer, sign Tex, move Raul to DH, dump Joh, and have Clement and Wlad a year older, this good be a fairly strong team.

by JI on May 11, 2008 6:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Plus send Morrow to Triple A to stretch out

See if he can swim as a starter. Bedard/Felix/Silva/BP Pitching Machine/Morrow would make an excellent rotation.

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack

by Frosty Raptor on May 11, 2008 6:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

We won a game!?

I just got back from running naked through the streets

Free Barry Bonds

by thejew4u on May 11, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

<3

Don’t care about getting kicked out of the street ;-)

Free Barry Bonds

by thejew4u on May 11, 2008 6:10 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

LOL

I don’t tend to frequent Baker’s blog (other than when linked from here)... I’ll have to drop by and patch things up with this Logan fellow.

Free Barry Bonds

by thejew4u on May 11, 2008 9:59 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I wouldn't bother.

He has no capacity for understanding rational thought.

-aaron c.

by acblue on May 11, 2008 10:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I have found the most unintentionally hilarious interchange on Baker's blog.

Posted by USSM parrot

11:11 AM, May 11, 2008

Chemistry and leadership can’t be measured, so they don’t exist. Good teams have good chemistry because they’re good teams. Please, don’t try to disagree, because there is no moderation queue here that I can put you in.

Posted by WSUx3

11:56 AM, May 11, 2008

lol USSM parrot get back to ur gay butbuddy site and leave the REAL baseball talk to us. Chemistry is the most important part of a team think why would u wanna help out ur teammates if u dont like em huh? why would ne one sacrifice if thjey hate each other? this team lacks chemistry

Posted by Mr. X

12:11 PM, May 11, 2008

Sorry, WSUx3, but you’re wrong. Even though I can’t prove it, you’re 100% wrong. If we had a good team, they would have good chemistry automatically. I read it on U.S.S. Mariner, so it has to be true. Just accept it.

Oh, and WSUx3 is now a banned name on there, so don’t try to come over there to post any of your unproveable flat earth nonsense.

Posted by Mr. X

12:19 PM, May 11, 2008

Now I must let my wife out of the basement so she can clean the house top to bottom on mothers day, like all good mothers should.

Posted by WSUx3

12:23 PM, May 11, 2008

uh you retard? have u never played sport in ur life? my god u are stupid. chemistry is f’n important name 1 good team who didnt like each other? the red sox are the team of the decade and all are TIGHT with each other and that makes em wanna play and gel as a team which is the most important. ur a fag sorry gay

Posted by WSUx3

12:24 PM, May 11, 2008

n why am i banned there is the site run by a FUSKY? if so imma get em

by redwolf75 on May 11, 2008 10:27 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Reading the comments on that blog is like eating an entire carton of ice cream.

It’s great when you start, but then you get a headache, your stomach starts to turn, and by the time you’re finished you’re wondering why in God’s name you would allow yourself to do such a stupid thing.

-aaron c.

by acblue on May 11, 2008 10:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

The sad thing is the poster "WSUx3" was completely serious.

That kind of idiocy is mind boggling, which makes it hilarious.

by redwolf75 on May 11, 2008 10:34 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I always assume that people like that are 13.

What’s terrifying is that most of them probably aren’t. If I ever received confirmation of this, I think I’d probably have to go and swallow a bullet.

-aaron c.

by acblue on May 11, 2008 10:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Sadly, this individual is at the very least in his 30s

WSUx3 has long been one of the most criminally stupid posters on ESPN. I would be able to stomach him if he didn’t represent my alma mater with his name and unintentionally play into every sterotype a UW graduate could come up with about a Cougar.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on May 11, 2008 11:25 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Well, I'm a man of my word.

Tell my mom I love her. Could someone come scrape my brains off the wall in a few?

-aaron c.

by acblue on May 11, 2008 11:29 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Where's this post where he threatens thejew4u?

I sense I may be missing out on comedy gold.

by redwolf75 on May 11, 2008 10:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I just hate when they either say

“Trade Beltre he sux and overpaid!” or “I only want to keep Beltre for his defence (they can’t even spell right)” I feel like hitting those idiots over the head. I just think you can’t teach people how to be smart about baseball, i guess they are either born with it or not. I mean anyone can join USSM or LL and get a free education of proper stats analysis.

by Fin on May 11, 2008 10:41 PM PDT