5/10: Open Game Thread, Part 3
I wonder if we're winning. I bet we're not.
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240 comments
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I am a Mariners and Nationals fan
My life is full of twice as much suck as the rest of you guys.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:01 PM PDT
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hrmm...
feelings of hope.. i know they will be dashed soon though
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
by wadswerth on
May 10, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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WRONG HAHAHAHA PWN3D!!!
IT WAS A WEAK INFIELD POP-UP TO THE 2B INSTEAD, BITCH.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:04 PM PDT
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Jeff is the man
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
by I'm NOT Corco on
May 10, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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Jeff is such a prophet
And now I wish we were winning just to wipe that satisfied smirk he’s got on his face somewhere in the world.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
May 10, 2008 9:02 PM PDT
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Mariners bullpen collapsed last year.
Not enough Octavio Dotel.
by ThundaPC on
May 10, 2008 9:03 PM PDT
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Jeff is clairvoyant
What happens to Triunfel Jeff? Does he get traded in some vain attempt to salvage the season?
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:03 PM PDT
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Damn your cold, black Orlando loving heart Whiffey!
Just kidding, thanks for saving baseball in Seattle…or something
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:05 PM PDT
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I enjoyed the interview with Dotel
On WGN pregame… seems like a nice enough dude, actually enjoying what he’s doing.
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:03 PM PDT
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No way
Yamauchi will make him quit or have him disappear. Dude knows where all the bodies are buried. Because he put them there.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:06 PM PDT
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All we need to do is get Johjima, Lincoln, and Armstrong
involved in a very public affair. All of our problems will be solved then.
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:06 PM PDT
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Gunpei Yokoi
The creator of the Game Boy comes to mind.
Dies in an auto accident shortly after leaving Nintendo to work for a competitor…
by thecapn on
May 10, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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Indeed
And whatever happened to his son-in-law? The first President of NoA?
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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I really think this is more of an ownership-mandated move.
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:05 PM PDT
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I hope there's a clause in his contract that allows him to go back to Japan
and that gives us a refund
by JLC on
May 10, 2008 9:06 PM PDT
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I hear it, but I don't understand it. Why shouldn't Ichiro be enough for Japanese prestige?
Presumably the Japanese are just like us in that they prefer to root for non-shitty players. Or maybe I just don’t understand their culture.
Could be – never quite understood the appeal of bukakke after all.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:08 PM PDT
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Never quite understood the appeal of bukakke?
Are you gay?
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
May 10, 2008 9:12 PM PDT
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What can I say, I'm a one-on-one kind of guy.
Don’t go for the whole group scene.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:13 PM PDT
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I'm at work right now, or I'd explain this more in detail
But I don’t believe bukakke involves groups of anything.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
May 10, 2008 9:18 PM PDT
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I would have to agree.
I must shamefully admit that I’m a little green when it comes to such things, but that’s what I always understood.
by Teej on
May 10, 2008 9:36 PM PDT
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How does Bukakke not involve groups?
I’m pretty sure the whole point is groups.
by joof on
May 10, 2008 9:57 PM PDT
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Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur
Mariners got Lowe, Lowe, Lowe, Lowe, Lowe…
I hate the mariners for driving me to this point…
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:08 PM PDT
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Fuck you Graham I was writing a comment when it you closed comments
by Robert on
May 10, 2008 9:09 PM PDT
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Based on your grammar I'd say you've had three and a half beers so far.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:10 PM PDT
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I just share a brain with JI
No beer for me sadly
by Robert on
May 10, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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Hey raptor - did you get your avatar picture from XKCD?
It’s fantastic either way.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:11 PM PDT
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Yeah, I shamelessly copied the shirt picture from the store section
The raptor math test has to be one of the funniest non-Watterson comics I’ve ever read in my entire life.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:13 PM PDT
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I know which one that is
But do you have a link to it? I want to read it again
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:14 PM PDT
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Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:16 PM PDT
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tytytytyty
God XKCD is brilliant. I’d like to shake that guy’s hand someday.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:17 PM PDT
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I enjoyed the recent one
On the mistranslation of the Kama Sutra… cracked my shiz up
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:18 PM PDT
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Also a huge fan of Cyanide and Happiness
That’s today’s, not the best, but other ones are great
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:20 PM PDT
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Truck Bearing Kibble can be pretty hilarious sometimes
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:23 PM PDT
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That's awesome
Bookmarked
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:30 PM PDT
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I propose that anyone who uses that be shot.
-aaron c.
by acblue on
May 10, 2008 9:23 PM PDT
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CONTRACT VOIDED!
(can’t a man dream?)
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:10 PM PDT
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It's unfiar to the rest of us
that Raul hasn’t torn his ACL or blown out a knee playing out there.
by JI on
May 10, 2008 9:10 PM PDT
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she broke up with her husband
no go
(and thank you for not posting nude pics)
by JI on
May 10, 2008 9:13 PM PDT
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That would be worse
Than gremlin Ronald MacDonald
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:13 PM PDT
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I wouldn't
Promise…
That shit gives me nightmares
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:15 PM PDT
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I want to unsee it
But I can’t… Why god? Why?
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:18 PM PDT
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Remember when there was talk
of Bucky being the DH of the future?
Ah 2004…
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:21 PM PDT
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Oh God
Why is Cairo on the on-deck circle? Isn’t Vidro available to pinch hit?
::Vomits::
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:22 PM PDT
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Did this game just lap itsself?
I though Cairo already hit.
by JI on
May 10, 2008 9:23 PM PDT
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It was made of pure grit!
Instead of hitting into a double play, Cairo did the gritty thing and struck out.
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:26 PM PDT
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Oh no
They’re going to IBB Beltre, aren’t they?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:30 PM PDT
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Needs more Pirata Morado
Favor the Bold
by IcebreakerX on
May 10, 2008 9:32 PM PDT
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... wtf was that?
What a clusterfuck this team is
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:32 PM PDT
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I FUCKING HATE THIS TEAM
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
ALL OF YOU FUCKING CUNTBAGS NEED TO DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YESTERDAY
by JI on
May 10, 2008 9:32 PM PDT
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Was that a Squinty ordered double steal?
If it was

by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:33 PM PDT
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I wish it was Bloomquist who was out.
by Happybelly on
May 10, 2008 9:33 PM PDT
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What happened?!?!
Watching on Gameday…
by LongLiveTheKings on
May 10, 2008 9:33 PM PDT
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Who's fault was that?
Squinty? Ichiro? Willie?
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 9:35 PM PDT
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Oh man, my sides hurt
That was so bizarre the first time I saw that
by JLC on
May 10, 2008 9:37 PM PDT
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It's Coach's criminal minds team photo
by Robert on
May 10, 2008 9:40 PM PDT
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That's what the blind man said
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:41 PM PDT
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I TURN ON THE GAME AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?
THERE’S NO REASON TO DOUBLE STEAL WITH YOUR BEST FUCKING HITTER AT THE PLATE
WHAT FRESH BULLSHIT IS THIS
by Nick S on
May 10, 2008 9:35 PM PDT
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If your ass was on the line as a manger, you'd look for ways to make it look like you were trying too
by SkipT on
May 10, 2008 9:37 PM PDT
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WELL I WOULD TRY AND NOT BE A RETARD ABOUT IT
by Nick S on
May 10, 2008 9:37 PM PDT
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exactly, both players should be executed
by basebliman on
May 10, 2008 9:37 PM PDT
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We are Rome!
I will continue to advocate allowing Richie Sexson and Raul Ibanez to be chased by a T-Rex and Utahraptor respectively.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:38 PM PDT
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Was that you who made the Richie/T-Rex photoshop?
Really damn funny. Only thing I would change is the font (size/shape/color), but otherwise a laugh-out-loud juxtaposition.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:50 PM PDT
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The font is distorted when I convert the picture to JPEG format
I haven’t quite figured out how to prevent that.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 11, 2008 9:59 AM PDT
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It probably came from the dugout.
No, it MUST have.
Favor the Bold
by IcebreakerX on
May 10, 2008 9:38 PM PDT
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Not sure if that was a double steal
Ichiro would’ve made it if it were, I think. Willie could have gone for a steal on his own.
by JLC on
May 10, 2008 9:39 PM PDT
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I am on Gameday
and I prefer to blame McLaren over Ichiro anyways
by Nick S on
May 10, 2008 9:43 PM PDT
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SEND RAPTORS TO EAT THEM ALL. ALL EXCEPT ICHIRO, RAUL, AND K. AWESOME.
The rest are dromeaosaurid chow.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:41 PM PDT
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Felix is above the Raptors on the food chain
They won’t touch him.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:42 PM PDT
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This is a position player-only raptorfeed list.
If we’re gonna let ‘em loose in the pen, I call Felix, J.J., RRS and Lowe in advance.
Potatoes is spared because he’s in AAA right now.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:43 PM PDT
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I have things to do
Score in this inning or I’m doing something else
by JLC on
May 10, 2008 9:43 PM PDT
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So does Perlozzo or Riggleman take over as interim manager?
Not that it’s going to matter…the result will be the same.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:44 PM PDT
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triple? woooooooooo?
Quit playing games with my heart, Mariners.
by JLC on
May 10, 2008 9:45 PM PDT
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FALSE HOPE INDEED.
The raptors are hungry…
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:46 PM PDT
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Fuck everything in the ass
I am done for tonight
by JLC on
May 10, 2008 9:47 PM PDT
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Is it just me or is Sean Green pretty good this year?
1.37 ERA with 19 K’s in 19.2 Innings.
by Alaska on
May 10, 2008 9:47 PM PDT
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Remember when we called a hit and run with runners on first and third, our best hitter up ,and the pitcher was struggling?
by JI on
May 10, 2008 9:47 PM PDT
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But I rec'd him
And left it
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 9:50 PM PDT
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Fuck everything in the ass
this is an interesting new twist
by Nick S on
May 10, 2008 9:47 PM PDT
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Chances of an 8th White Sox run scoring = >70%
Just because it doesn’t end up happening doesn’t mean it wasn’t more likely than not.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:51 PM PDT
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If you ask me
LL doesn’t have enough topless photos of Mr. T.
by JI on
May 10, 2008 9:54 PM PDT
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Five bucks says current Starbuck could kick old Starbuck's ass
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:54 PM PDT
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Quick Bavasi, I'll throw you into my time machine blender!
From ESPN…
1. Arizona, Justin Upton, ss, Great Bridge HS, Chesapeake, Va.
2. Kansas City, Alex Gordon, 3b, Nebraska
3. Seattle, Jeffrey Clement, c, USC
4. Washington, Ryan Zimmerman, 3b, Virginia
5. Milwaukee, Ryan Braun, 3b, Miami
6. Toronto, Ricardo Romero, lhp, CS Fullerton
7. Colorado, Troy Tulowitzki, ss, Long Beach
8. Tampa Bay, Wade Townsend, rhp, Rice
9. New York Mets, Michael Pelfrey, rhp, Wichita St
10. Detroit, Cameron Maybin, cf, T C Roberson HS, N.C.
11. Pittsburgh, Andrew McCutchen, cf, Fort Meade HS, Fla.
12. Cincinnati, Jay Bruce, cf, Westbrook HS, Texas
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 9:54 PM PDT
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YOU FORGOT ABOUT TEH SIGNABILITY DOOD!!
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 9:57 PM PDT
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Seriously though, lists like these are usually a bit of a cheap shot.
I can’t remember how Clement was ranked back then (I do know that the Nats’ choice of Zimmerman was universally hailed as a smart move, and it paid off quickly), but I doubt it was a terribly stupid or inexcusably one. It’s not a Pirates/Jays kind of draft blunder.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 10:00 PM PDT
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I think they're fun to look at
Bavasi’s strength is player development and Clement could still be a stud. It’d be nice to have Ryan Braun’s bat in the lineup though. I don’t see any Sam Bowies in the first 12.
Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 10:02 PM PDT
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It wasn't a bad pick
It just so happened that everyone in that draft turned out phenomenally good
by Graham on
May 11, 2008 2:41 AM PDT
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Hyphen?
meh
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 10:00 PM PDT
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I've seen a number of inspiring 9th-inning come-from-massively-behind victories in my day
I’m not going to see another one tonight.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 10:01 PM PDT
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Frosty Raptor
you’re designated to fuck everything tonight. Godspeed, my friend.
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 10:01 PM PDT
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Ladies...

Coldly devouring reason as if it were a delectable snack
by Frosty Raptor on
May 10, 2008 10:12 PM PDT
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The Mariners have sinned, and Raptor Jesus will come for them.

by Jordan of Boise on
May 10, 2008 10:36 PM PDT
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Did you do this?
Because I want to use it for an album cover.
-aaron c.
by acblue on
May 10, 2008 10:39 PM PDT
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Cosmic T-Rex begs the question:

Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
May 10, 2008 11:34 PM PDT
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I Rec'd it
But Carl Everett does not approve
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 11, 2008 12:09 AM PDT
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ah Matt Thornton
Determined, Jonesing Commentor
by I'm NOT Corco on
May 10, 2008 10:05 PM PDT
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We spent a first round choice on Thornton?

by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 10:05 PM PDT
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he struck out a shit ton of guys in the low minors before he got hurt
by JI on
May 10, 2008 10:06 PM PDT
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Just in time for him to pwn us with a DP.
Whatever. Our team sucks.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 10:07 PM PDT
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Kenji Johjima base hit?
You’re shitting me.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 10:06 PM PDT
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Cairo, Johjima getting basehits
Cats and dogs living together, MASS HYSTERIA!

by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 10:08 PM PDT
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Greatest movie of all time until May 22nd
by Robert on
May 10, 2008 10:09 PM PDT
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We'll see.
I fear Indy IV will disappoint me.
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 10:10 PM PDT
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matt thorngon death spiral huzzah

Determined, Jonesing Commentor
by I'm NOT Corco on
May 10, 2008 10:07 PM PDT
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Sox announcer: "Miguel Cairo, the only thing standing between the Sox and another win on this road trip."
In other words: nothing.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 10:08 PM PDT
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Welp...
that about does it…
In the name of the Bedard, the Felix, and the Ichiro, amen.
by rlintott on
May 10, 2008 10:09 PM PDT
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Remember that time when the Mariners won?
It’s kind of a haze.
by Teej on
May 10, 2008 10:12 PM PDT
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I remember those days....
People seemed to laugh more then…there were concerts in the park…
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 10:17 PM PDT
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We were dancing in the park
Walking through the park and reminiscing.
by BrianL on
May 10, 2008 10:21 PM PDT
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Little River Band?
You win the “Musical reference I least expected to see on Lookout Landing” award.
-aaron c.
by acblue on
May 10, 2008 10:29 PM PDT
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I was making a MST3K reference
But it was ridiculously obscure (referencing episode 305 – STRANDED IN SPACE). So no shame in not getting it.
by esoteric on
May 10, 2008 11:14 PM PDT
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Now that I'm at home
Seems that the evolution of the term / practice of bukkake went from something that was a necessity / loophole in Japanese pornography (due to genitalia censorship practices) to the group practices you’re all thinking of.
I’ve always seen it used in a singular sense similar to giving a facial or just doing the business on a part of the body instead of inside of it. Looks like the “hardest core” to the practice is a fetish of group ejaculation upon a single target.
Hmmm…

Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
May 10, 2008 11:32 PM PDT
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I think the people who wanted to know that could have found it out on their own.
by JI on
May 10, 2008 11:51 PM PDT
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With apologies.
It was discussed earlier and I didn’t want to go googling bukkake at work.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
May 11, 2008 3:08 AM PDT
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It's not that I'm offended
I just think LL has gotten a bit too pervy recently.
by JI on
May 11, 2008 10:18 AM PDT
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