5/1: Open Game Thread
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 1:26 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners Game Threads
Email
PrintSeattle Mariners at Cleveland Indians, May 1, 2008 4:05 PM PDT
Female reaction: Touching. Truly touching. It's heartwarming to know people like that still exist in the world.
Male reaction: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IT'S AN IMPORTANT GAME AND YOU'RE COSTING YOUR TEAM RUNS LEAVE HER ON THE GOD DAMN GROUND
Gabe Kapler reaction: you assholes
LET'S GO MARINERS!!
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I just sent that to my GF.
With the subject of “A heartwarming lesbian story”. I’m not getting laid for a while.
I went home for lunch with my wife and it was on ESPN when we eating.
She was like “how swwet”
and I was like this is bull shit
Whatever, I'm fine with that.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm right there with you
I think it was a pretty cool thing to do.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 1:45 PM PDT up reply actions
I'd rather be a nice person than al alpha male any day.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I think this qualifies for "win" status
by Two Rs and Two Ls on May 1, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions
There must be something I said that is unintentionally funny that I am missing.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions
not so much that it's funny as it makes me happy.
by Two Rs and Two Ls on May 1, 2008 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Okay, good.
I’m fine with making an ass of myself, I just like to know so I can pretend like I did it on purpose.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm with you too.
You want to win, but not that way.
I like midgets more than I should.
It's not whether you win or lose.
It’s whether you win – the addition of “or lose” to that sentence is redundant, as winning is a binary state.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
I also thought it was cool. I mean she had already hit it out of the park, so she should get the credit
no matter what. Now if a stud scorer in basketball or football or whatever gets injured just shy of a record, and the other team lets that person have a free layup or a free TD, now that’s lame.
http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com
Don't worry
There’s plenty of us that have long since checked in our man cards.
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
You've been out that card ever since you admitted you like Coldplay
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions
And for the record.
I haven’t actually listened to Coldplay in awhile.
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
dude, stop
The fact that you are not divorced makes you a man.
Go Fo Broke!
I think it's pretty cool to see three chicks to round third together
...but on the other hand it would have made more sense to pinch run
by JI on May 1, 2008 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions
There's a rule clarification in the sidebar
the umpires were stupid.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah...
That could have turned into a “Pine Tar” incident, except with less George Brett going batshit when he’s called out.
by eponymous_coward on May 1, 2008 2:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Yet another sad commentary
on the state of women’s Division II softball umpiring.
That was my takeaway from the story.
That's a dumb rule.
You should have to circle the bases yourself.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
Go watch Maid in Manhattan with LastFanOfJoseLopez
by Robert on May 1, 2008 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Okay, now I might be a pussy...
But how dare you insult my taste in movies.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Or replay that death scene in FF7
with thewyrm.
My reaction: meeehhhhhh.
That is also the same reaction I have towards today’s pitching matchup.
I have a feeling Mosiac...
and player AB announcements are going to be my friend tonight.
My favorite story is the one of the LL coach that with the game on the line
IBB the other teams star hitter to get to the kid with cerebral palsy
That really happened?
That is awesome in the exact opposite from the other thing.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions
That story is full of win.
That coach is my hero. He should have had the pitcher back the kid off the plate, just to be sure of the strikeout.
And like I said below
the kid admits to taking HGH
Not to mention...
Is it fair to the kids on his team to not try and win the game? And is it fair to the kid with the disability to treat him as less than an equal?
We take youth sports too seriously in this country, without question, but I don’t think this is really an example of that.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:54 PM PDT up reply actions
I would have asked the coach
to teach me how not to swing like a spaz if I were you.
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Just like Major League!
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions
The only sport I was ever any good at was football.
And only because I was a fat kid.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions
I was the star of mine.
In the one game we lost, I kept trying to get the Ump to call the game due to sand blowing into myself and my pitcher’s eyes.
I lead the league in walks.
And yet I had zero hits.
Zero.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
I led my middle school
in HBPs. When they needed a base runner I went up to bat and either stepped into one or crouched so small that I had no strike zone (I didn’t have my last growth spurt until 9th grade).
In 9th grade I spent more time keeping the stats than I did actually playing :(
Still was fun to remind the cocky assholes on our team that they were hitting like .139
The poster formerly known as Matt.
That star hitter must be pretty pissed off about his lineup protection
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions
No worse than what Barry Bonds
had around him.
And 134% of them are bad at statistics.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 1:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Yup.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 1:50 PM PDT up reply actions
only if you injured them while hunting for bear
and killing deer with your bare hands.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 1:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Your organization’s Internet use policy restricts access to this web page at this time.
Reason: The Websense category “Tasteless” is filtered.
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions
At this time?
Does that mean at some point your company will redefine what is in good taste? How can we trust them?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 1:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Check back later, this is a preview.
- Lick a hooker’s ass:
Manliness: 0 Style: 1 Awesomeness: 1 Mess: 10
What you need: a hooker, $0.75.
How to do it: find a hooker and inquire about her “ass buffet.” If she doesn’t know what you’re talking about, punch her. If she does know what you’re talking about, she shouldn’t charge you more than 75 cents to lick her ass. You may even get away with not having to pay her since technically it’s not sex (unless you’re gay, but I’m not sure if it counts if it’s a woman). Fair warning: not paying a hooker is considered shoplifting. Once you’ve done the (mis)deed, you may want to have some alcohol nearby. Make sure it’s something strong like turpentine, because you’ll be tasting a mouth full of funk and hookers don’t always shit properly depending on their clientele. The tingling feeling in your mouth means the disease is working. Just sit back and relax while your penis falls off and you break out in hives. Then just wait a few months and if the other diseases don’t get to you first, the AIDS will. Talk about a cheap suicide! At 75 cents, you can’t afford not to kill yourself!
I don't remember where I saw it
but I like the one where you super glue your hands to your head and then fashion of razor noose so that after you kick off the chair, it decapitates you, but your arms are still glued to your head, so it looks like you ripped your own head off.
Terrific check out technique!
What’s the point of killing yourself if you can’t spread a little mirth around?
Hmm
What a paradox. On one hand, losing an eye would hurt me during the Easter Egg search, but with my newfound pirateness, I have a sense for lost treasure.
Fingers crossed, but maybe I could get a glass eye…might be useful if I ever become a professional marble player and need to cheat…
I should amend that
1 loss to Sidney Ponson
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions
That can't be right.
Vidro’s on our team.
Also, Ponson’s still alive? I figured he ate himself, ala Pizza the Hut in Spaceballs.
Ponson had a better xFIP than Batista and Washburn last year
IIRC, Baltimore’s defense was awful his last couple of years there, probably making him look worse than he actually was.
I wonder what an Emo from Kansas would look like.
Too bad I have a better chance of going to hell than going to Kansas. And im an angel.
"All we are is Dust in the Wind"
“Everything is Dust in the Wind”
How is that NOT emo. Oh, not THAT Kansas. Gotcha…
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
Could you imagine what he feels like inside
whenever the picthing coach or catcher comes towards the mound? Impending doom? Flight for Fight response kick in?
I fucking hate you Mariners
scratch that 'f'
Unless he takes off like an airplane to fight.
I fucking hate you Mariners
Its so true...I'm fast...not a fighter
I fucking hate you Mariners
I won my last two fights by at least 80 metres...
You could be a part-time model...but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job
It prolly hurts more
When the opposing team’s strategy is to move their fielders in when playing you.
Johnbai stands 5 foot to the right of the pitcher.
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions
If you have an erection for more than 4 hours
call your friends and brag about it.
...and now I'm here
I've had that, it was creepy.
Of course I was 13 and in the middle of a school day, so it didn’t help.
The teacher just wasn't that hot.
I needed something to keep me awake.
This game makes Coach angry.
Expect tirades about his favorite Mariner getting the boot for some kid, then something about the Mariner Moose using a form of transportation to run over players being lazy.
All I want to see today
Is a Coach post that says “Fuck Jeff Clement”
That would make my entire year.
Shhh
Coach is only funny when he’s unscripted, we don’t want to put any ideas in his head.
Besides
It would mean many many “John Olerud sucks” posts.
by eponymous_coward on May 1, 2008 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions
In my alternate universe today...
Beluga Tits is on his way to a victory in the rubber match of this series.
I sure hope I picked the right alternate universe.
by eponymous_coward on May 1, 2008 2:14 PM PDT reply actions
Sorry Jeff, but I'm not with you
What sort of man would consider college softball to be ‘AN IMPORTANT GAME’?
45 year old video game designer
living in his mother’s basement?
Where's Last Fan of Jose Lopez?
We need a correlating chick flick moment to compare to this act of sportsmanship, STAT!
I saw a porn where...
the ref made a bad call, the benefiting field hockey player called herself on it, and later the victim of the bad call gave the favor back to her. It was… touching.
in other news
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(not the MLB team)
SUCK IT FLORENCE
Just took a look at the LL Wiki
and saw that Brett has been forever immortalized within it.
Awesome.
Sweet. That was my image.
Well.. Brett’s image that I edited. I feel proud.
...and now I'm here
I shed a tear reading that yesterday
I’m not gonna lie I’m a sucker for good sportsmanship
If any of you wants to call me a pussy. Better hope that your not running a crossing route at the next LL/FG football game.
Coach Owens has no bones
Pussy.
And I have seen every single New vehicle here in Ellensburg. Chaotic.
against Vegas reliever Casey Hoorelbeke, whose ancestors clearly couldn't spell Hurlbeck properly.
New vehicle here in Ellensburg?
I’ll just go for your knee and then pee on your golf bag.
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions
You're a pussy.
That’s not bad, mind you. I cried while playing Lost Odyssey.
Fatigue causes crazy mood swings.
I like midgets more than I should.
Sleep deprivation while at work led me to cry while watching touched by an angel once
I think that was my all time puss-out
Yikes.
That couldn’t have been very good for your ego.
I may have even called my mother
I don’t remember. Isolation plus lack of sleep do strange things to your mind.
You might want to start keeping some of this to yourself.
I like midgets more than I should.
I cried during Bambi
in high school as a senior in a class full of freshman
I still have no idea why
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
It's because you realized you were in freshman english as a senior
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions
nothing personal
I’m just bored at work and have time to think of these things.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions
To clarify
it was basic art class
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions
It's a good book.
I read it a few times. It’s a little beneath your reading level now, but it would only take a week of odd hours here and there. By Felix Salten.
Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?
by The Alaskan on May 1, 2008 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Senior year in high school
we were watching Schindler’s List. I cried at the end of the movie and looked like a total pussy.
I bawled my eyes out watching that movie
I’m talking heaving sobs hardcore crying. I was alone fortunately.
Yeah...I wasn't alone
in that classroom while I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I laughed at selected parts.
I was suspended from school for 3 days for that shit. Nobody said it wasn’t supposed to be funny.
I brought Schindler’s List themed snacks
Jewritos
by Robert on May 1, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
aaaaand we're done with this.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Guess it's time to start moderating again
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 3:55 PM PDT up reply actions
tried to pinch-hit, hope I didn't overstep
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions
I can control myself
And if it makes it any better, after actually watching the movie I felt terrible about it.
It kinda doesn't
but at least you felt bad.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions
I would be skeptical of anyone who didn't display strong emotion at the end of that movie.
Some things should make everyone cry.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Freshman year in high school someone cried at My Dog Skip.
IT WAS A FUCKING DOG
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:03 PM PDT up reply actions
I remember making some Barbaro crack at graduation
when they announced our vet school grads. Some were not pleased. Others found it very funny.
I'm going to cry when I watch Engineering an Empire
and find out that the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012
My fifth grade teacher fast forwarded through the end of Turner and Hooch
because the dog got shot.
Luckily I got in trouble and had to go up to the sixth grade to take their spelling test. I’m good at being disruptive, it was a hundred times better than watching the movie.
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions
It's ok to cry at that movie.
I saw that on Christmas Day with a pack of Jews – like 25 of us and we were the only people in the theater. We all cried.
No, no, please
tell us more. This is gold.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
I cried while watching Star Trek 10.
What an abomination.
Heh.
I cried with the Enterprise D got blown up in Star Trek: Generations.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 1, 2008 3:43 PM PDT up reply actions
It was in the preview
they spoiled it
What got to me was when the girl dropped her teddy bear.
(The teddy bear died)
The Rifftrax to this movie is highly recommended, it’s MST3K quality.
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Haha!
I had the same reaction to the teddy bear!
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 1, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions
but not actors
but yeah, true.
They’re all very good. The first Servo’s voice sounds too much like mine so I have a hard time watching the first season.
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Right after my Grandmother died when I was 12 I cried watching Maury Povich.
It was one of the “Who’s my babydaddy?” episodes.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Were you on the show?
Is this David Schwimmer?
Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?
by The Alaskan on May 1, 2008 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I think you have other problems as well.
They have hormones to treat menopause you know.
I like midgets more than I should.
I cried because I had no shoes.
Then I saw a man who had Crocs.
Who has cried over a loss in a sporting event before
besides Joey Cora and Adam Morrison
Last baseball game
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions
I cried when I took a color guard flag to my manpouch
during the Auburn marching band championship my junior year in high school.
Did the other team's...
tuba players come out and hold your balls while you finished the set? No? Then your story isn’t important enough to be on espn.com.
guilty
In fairness, it was a playoff semifinal during the last season of my soccer club’s 13 year existence. I was captain+leading scorer (as a midfielder) and we’d never even made it to the quarterfinals. We lost 4-1 in a huge fucking windstorm. Sucked sucked sucked.
Nope
my worst sports moments just left me totally numb.
I was a pitcher in LL and was up 3-0 in the last inning; concentration lapse led to the bases loaded, 2 outs. Just a goddamn straight-from-a-movie set-up. 1-2 count, high FB, looking for the punch-out.
Grand slam. Walk-off.
There are random days now, decades later, when that pitch still hurts. I’ll get nervous randomly watching 1-2 counts in mariners games.
But walking off the field? I was too stunned. I just went home and listened to Metallica or something.
I cried after game 4 of the 2001 ALCS and during the celebration of the Hawks NFC title
Thats pretty much it
Loss in the Superbowl?
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions
What loss in the Superbowl?
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I was completely anti social
for about 4 days
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions
I did not cry when that happened. I punched the roommate who dared to make a "Seattle sucks" comment
during the Porter offsides sack.
I punched my roomate that threw out the sea chickens
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Broke 3 cups
After the Hass “low block”
We should all get together to watch a game next year
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Agreed
My boss started giving me Seahawk games off after my “incident” in front of customers during the fumbled handoff game in Arizona.
I was unaware of this.
Good for him.
I like midgets more than I should.
ripped an achilles tendon
while rounding a base on a teammate’s homerun. He was lifted for a pinch-runner, while the batter was waiting (no passing of the runner ahead of you).
by vj on May 1, 2008 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't think we were ever going to skip him this early
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Can we skip Washburn instead?
Perhaps all of his starts?
Then why skip at all?
Why announce that if you’re only going to it once?
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Jeff Clement - knowledge which has been gained by learning?
I would think of him as more of a savior.
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 2:59 PM PDT reply actions
Note the typo in said lineup
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:03 PM PDT up reply actions
Nobody told Jeff's mother to stop drinking when she was pregnant.
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions
But she did cut back to a pack a day after the 8th month
so that’s something.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions
sounds like she needs more savoir
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Poor Jeffie has been in a coma since '99
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:09 PM PDT up reply actions
They made a sequel of Waking Ned Divine?
I missed “Rousing Jeff Sullivan?”
Dammit! Things I miss by not seeing movies all that often.
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
wasn't sure if that was the case
so my apologies for impugning your mad typing skills.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions
He shouldn't be allowed to do that
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions
shouldn't be allowed to correct a typo on his own site?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
So in today's game thread
we’ve learned many of us are pussies.
But that means we should score more with chicks 'cause we are sensitive right?
Right? No? . . . Damn.
Just play a guitar and grow your hair long
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, that doesn't actually work. Trust me.
Now, if you’re a total ASSHOLE with long hair who plays guitar, you’re set.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions
OMG HE DOESNT HAVE SPYHILIS
CLEARLY YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ENOUGH EPISDOES OF HOUSE KUMAR
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't think it counts
if we’re crying over deaths in video games.
That's not so much sensitive as really, really sad.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions
If you didn't cry when that happened
you have no soul
I didn't cry, either.
I was annoyed. Killing him seemed unnecessary (I’m looking at you, Rowling). I felt cheated.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
Yeah, that's like Spielberg holding a press conference and deciding that Jaws was gay.
It’s bullshit
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Don't be sharkist
Jaws can be whatever Jaws wants to be, societal norms be damned.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions
I HADN'T READ THAT YET YOU SUMBITCH
I kid, I kid.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions
I didn't because I only watch good movies
by Jeff Sullivan on May 1, 2008 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions
I think he's talking about the book.
Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?
by The Alaskan on May 1, 2008 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions
Currently celibate
God dammit
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 3:43 PM PDT up reply actions
unless it's actually written solely by the person who's on the show
then there’s a grain of truth to it.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions
FSN needs to edit out the portion of the Griffey interview
this only fuels the fire as far as bringing him back
This thread is not Graham approved!!!
Saviour has a u, dammit!
Temple of the Dog spelled it "saviour"
never understood that one
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions
It's how we rolled in the grunge days, yo
we were all just swingin’ on the flippity flop back then.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions
awesome
“Isn’t Nirvana a grunge band?”
No, they are a punk band.
“How about Soundgarden”
No, they are a metal band.
“I thought all those bands like Pearl Jam were called grunge”
Pearl Jam is a rock and roll band.
STAB STAB STAB
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Good times
trying to explain to my out of town friends that “grunge” was something you scraped off the bottom of your shoe and not a musical style was always entertaining.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions
That is my favorite scene in Hype!
God I love that movie.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm in that movie
if you freeze-frame one of the shots from the Gas Huffer show you can see me and my friends right there in the front for about .5 seconds. It’s my one and only moment of fame. I still remember going to a ton of shows over the years with disclaimers saying they were making a movie, and then never having the film come out – it took about 6 years to get the funding together for it…
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
It was worth the wait.
It’s easily one of the top 25 documentaries ever made.
Support local music.
by Aaron Campeau on May 1, 2008 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Agreed.
it turned out to be a lot more of a cautionary tale than I was expecting, based on what we all heard (we all thought it was just going to be a sort of “look at all my favorite bands!” thing, which would have been OK), but that makes it a much better film.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:27 PM PDT up reply actions
"to know"
..interesting. Not quite sure how that fits. Are we saying Clement is smart?
I'm more like I am now than I've ever been.
I'm not saying anything
Jeff’s doing the saynig
Weirdest first name in baseball
I’m going with Jhonny actually. Melky might give it a good run though
Nomar
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Melky's a nickname.
Melchior is a badass name, and the name of my future spawn, male or female.
Melky should just use his real first name.
It’s awesome.
That has to be my least favorite. But it is a winner.
I like midgets more than I should.
Better Question:
Most Badass full name in baseball.
I’ve got “Francisco Liriano”
followed by “Fausto Carmona” a close second.
...and now I'm here
Tug Hulett.
wait, what was the question again?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Tug Hulett actually is a pretty awesome name.
Not necessarily “badass” though. Also, I think “Granderson” is probably the most conceited name in all of sports.
...and now I'm here
I went to school with a man named Johnny Champion
He was the most boring person ever. I am convinced that if I was called Johnny Champion I’d have been a superhero.
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions
That title will always go to
Wonderful Terrific Monds III
Two great names for relievers
Scot Shields and Eddie Guardardo (Saved/Kept in spanish)
the other angels fan
Its ok he doesn't have any bones
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
It will be
with both Wlad and Clement? I Don’t care if we lose, I’m going to enjoy this game.
...and now I'm here
Doesn't the fact that Batista is pitching,
negate the presence of Clement and Wlad playing?
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
Nope.
Not negate. You will be entertained.
...and now I'm here
Clement
Clement clement. Clement clement clement. Clement clement.
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Don't besmirch Clement's good name.
...and now I'm here
TRY THE DECAF!!!
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions
You're so young, you saw the invention of manned interplanetary flight
Am I doing this CO impression right?
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions
You're so human, you need water to survive
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions
You're so corporeal, you need to incorporate collision detection into your daily routine.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
bunch of pussies
old time astronauts had modules with mis matching square peg / round hole appendages, now a days these no good pussies have technology that works properly. Coddled bunch of ass aints.
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions
I doubt Coach can say 'pussy' without his brain shutting down
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions
Your mom is so your mom because she gave birth to you. Unless you were adopted in that case she is your mom because she adopted you
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
I use kleenex with enough force to kill a man in 2nd century China
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions
that's one hell of a snot rocket
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions
and I mostly did that so I could say "snot rocket"
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions
oh snap
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, what now pdb?
Gonna go invent floss?
why don't you guys like me?
oh wait, thought I was Coach there for a second. Reliving my naive youth.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions
my first attempt was with sandpaper shards
I’m moving on to Phase II which involves fiberglass threads. We’ll see what happens. This better work, though, because I’m running out of teeth on which to test my various great theories.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions
my first experiments in dental hygiene
are reportedly what led to his seizure. He doesn’t talk to me any more.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Just read through the subthread
that proves most of us are pussies. That’ll keep you entertained.
One of my favorite television scenes
was when George Costanza cried at the end of Home Alone
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions
I've been here the whole time
I’m considering reading “Show me where it says the home team can’t make up the rules” again
So if I watch the whole game I only get three hours of sleep before a 12 hour work shift.
Wlad and Jeff worth it?
As long as you don't cry when it's over you'll be okay.
I like midgets more than I should.
More so because it's absolutely impossible.
I’d cry out of confusion.
...and now I'm here
We're the visiting team :(
Anything is possible
It was pointless.
The time had passed, there were like 5 comments, only one or two worth anything. I considered it to be taking up space.
I will, however, take that into consideration next time.
Sorry.
Space is cheap.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions
No big deal, it's just been happening lately.
and it scares me when they disappear because I am quite senile
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't see what's so wrong with it.
They’re your diaries, you should be able to delete them if you want.
Cheeseburgers are delicious.
Stop reusing my cool words.
...and now I'm here
Besmirch is not your word
it belongs to the English language. ALL OFIT!
If it tastes like nothing
it can’t taste like piss
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions
I forget where this meme comes from
but it is hilarious none the less
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions
It's Yakkoff Smirnov or something like that.
The Russian comic from the ‘80’s. Then Family Guy used it in the “mob” episode as the voice of the GPS in Peter’s car.
I like midgets more than I should.
want to see something scary?
I swear to god this is not a rickroll, but you’ll probably wish it was.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions
OMG... There is a Yakov.com?
I figured he had died, or went home or something…
I like midgets more than I should.
Nope. He's playing Branson.
Yet another in the long list of reasons never to go to Branson.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
My grandparents go there every year.
Of course they are in their very late 80’s, so they have an excuse.
I like midgets more than I should.
Yet another in the long list of reasons never to go to Branson
everyone’s grandparents go there every year.
(nothing against your grandparents personally, just sayin’ that a Geritol convention isn’t exactly my idea of a good time…)
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions
But then if you say something stupid
The stupidity can’t be enshrined forever in the halls of LL as it should be.
Coach Owens'
Felix Day diary from early on was the gayest thing ever and I’m pretty upset that he was able to delete it
It was phenomenally fucktarded
He managed to screw up a Happy Felix Day diary by trying to make fun of Jeff and failing miserably.
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
I have found that Jeffbaiting isn't nearly as hilarious as it sounds.
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions
We need someone to change their sn to mastur
for obvious reasons
I find it comical as all hell
because Jeff’s a big league hitter and most of the baiters are low-A league pitchers.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah I don't think I would do it justice to try and duplicate it...
but it was just a weird, homo-erotic ode… and the comments that he got were pretty hilarious. It was deleted after being up for about 10 minutes
I understand what your trying to say
but I don’t think ‘in’ helps…
Seriously. I wanted to see what happened with those Spanish translations.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
the home team makes the rules.
...and now I'm here
Oh man, that sucks.
My condolences to the family as well.
I like midgets more than I should.
And don't forget to pass condolences in person
if Bill should happen to come to the LL gathering.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:46 PM PDT up reply actions
Isn't there a statue of limitations on these things?
Isn’t a month and a half past it?
by JI on May 1, 2008 3:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Not if you've not seen the grieving individual in person since the death
The grievance of a death is not contained in a 24-hour news cycle, and six weeks after a death is certainly not “past it” – it’s a nice gesture. A year later, maybe it’s not so relevant, but I think six weeks is reasonable.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions
It's polite.
I don’t mean go out of your way to grab him and say “DUDE SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAD”, but as a collective group, if he’s there, it would be a nice gesture if someone spoke for the group and expressed condolences.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions
We should bring a sign that says that.
At least to a game.
SRY ABOUT UR DAD, BILL!
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
No kidding
his wikipedia page is already updated
Condolences to the Bavasis
Sorry to hear that
Though I hope I live to be 87.
Did anyone else find Almost Famous to be really depressing?
I remember that being one of the saddest movies I’ve seen recently, but I can’t recall why.
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 3:43 PM PDT reply actions
Great movie, but not really depressing
at least not to me. Pretty heavy at times, though.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Boring, yes. Maybe that's what I found depressing about it.
Nothing happened. I still do not understand why so many people like that movie.
Is it just me, or is this AJ trade looking worse every day?
by The Alaskan on May 1, 2008 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions
So I think we all need a box of tissues for this game.
Also I cried when Dan Wilson Retired
Coach Owens has no bones
I was relieved and overjoyed.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions
I did too
if by “retired” you mean “came to the plate”
by eponymous_coward on May 1, 2008 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions
our game threads pre first pitch
are really, really random
beats are the other SBN pre-game threads
that’s for fucking sure
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions
I cried after this comment was posted
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm against that remark
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm against that you're against that remark
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Stop being so negative, all of you
and you know what’s worse than being negative? BEING DOUBLE NEGATIVE
thats what she said
wait…. fail
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions
Correction: Graham is anti-everything
The rest of us are still clinging to our last few threads of false hope in mankind
No, you're anti anti-Clement.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Do we like the Anti-Nowhere League?
Because that would be kind of sad.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
I'm not sure what this means but it's awesome
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on May 1, 2008 4:05 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
seriously...
...wtf?!?
You could be a part-time model...but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job
did you find that or already have it?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Saw it on a Friend's MySpace awhile back. Cracked me up then, still funny now
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
huh?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions
He is survived by his wife of 68 years, Evit, and four sons: Peter (and his wife, Judy), Chris (and his wife, Corinne), Bob (and his wife, Margaret) and Bill (and his wife, Tracy); nine grandchildren: Patrick, Cristina, Aimee, Amanda, Alexandra, Haley, Emily, Kyle and Katherine; and five great-grandchildren: Cooper, Lolly, Cole, Summer and Luke. Bill is the Seattle Mariners Executive Vice President and General Manager of Baseball Operations.
...and now I'm here
and classless, to boot, no matter what timeframe.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on May 1, 2008 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Whether we can stand him or not
he’s one of ours and has been very accommodating to the blogosphere
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Whether you like him or not, that comment was still low rent.
I like midgets more than I should.
It's kind of a requirement to be pissy around here.
At least I didn’t piss in your cornflakes.
I like midgets more than I should.
OK, on Attack of the Show they are showing a scuba diving cat. Awesome
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 4:07 PM PDT reply actions
There is no why. There is just a cat in a scuba suit
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions
They could make it breathe liquid like that mouse in The Abyss.
Would that be better?
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
Does Sizemore suck at defense?
Also, no one has made a comment about the game yet, which I find funny.
...and now I'm here
? what game?
Aren’t we on the SBN Emo Sharks site?
There's a game on?
I just dropped by for the chat.
I can't see the last comment in the thread.
The posting box is covering it up. Anyone else having this problem?
I like midgets more than I should.
I can see it again now. Must have just been a temporary glitch.
I like midgets more than I should.
Wow, way to go Raul
Why would anyone steal with Raul?
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
...Did Raul just try to steal?
...and now I'm here
Must have missed a sign or something.
I can’t see him taking off on his own. Although even Edgar would take off once in a blue moon if the pitcher ignored him enough.
I like midgets more than I should.
"R Ibanez caught stealing, catcher to second"
There’s a phrase I love seeing pop up in GameCast
It just occured to me that
Coach is like a cartoonish version of Butters
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions
By God, you're right.
I like midgets more than I should.
was there a new episode this week?
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions
k
Had to work late and wasn’t sure
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Pretty good half season
the Britteny episode was the only dud
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Super fun time was pretty good though.
I like midgets more than I should.
solid
no super standouts, but eps 3-7 were across the board good while 1-2 were meh
The Heavy Metal tribute
was epic in my mind
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions
The Britteny ep had one laught he entire show (see pic above)
but I really enjoyed the HIV positive ep
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:25 PM PDT up reply actions
ah gee I missed 1205
I know what I’m doing when this game is over
by JI on May 1, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions
for those 14 weeks yeah
but it would be nice to have so much time off. I’d rather kill myself for 4 months and then get to do whatever for 8
It'd be a pretty sweet job
In the commentary, they said they go on a writing retreat for like a week or so sometime before the season starts and go skiing or something like that and then brainstorm
yeah I know, but it still pisses me off
also, with the timing of the seasons, you miss out on holiday episodes, and the christmas and thanksgiving episodes have been some of the best…
It's going to take more than one lesson
First we have to teach him about joints
Why would you run
with your best power hitter up?
The
Richie,
the
It was a cunning tactical manuever
designed to circumvent today’s home team rule that… uh…
We got Vladimir Guerrero according to Niehaus.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
That he does, Dave.
That. He. Does.
...and now I'm here
because they were always taking his job
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions
Uh-huh.
Baltimore was supposed to be so much better than Tampa Bay. Good call. Idiot.
...and now I'm here
I know I'm late to the party with this, but how does one pronounce Wlad?
Is it like it’s spelled, or is it Vlad?
the other angels fan
I'm so confused
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Whoops. Late to the party.
That’s what I get for pretending to work while I cruise LL.
I like midgets more than I should.
I wish it were pronounced like it's spelled.
You don’t hear a lot of Welsh in America.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
Being great requires the ability to throw strikes
by Graham MacAree on May 1, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions
I think you mean Thompson.
Am I doing that right?
KK!
Must be that new thing he was working on again
Hey look!!!
Vidro still sucks!!!!!
...and now I'm here
That's 300 more than I've ever hit.
I’ll give him that.
I like midgets more than I should.
Man, SEXSON IS ON FIRE
Wish singles. That we don’t need. Because we have no 1b power hitter to bring them home. Great.
...and now I'm here
JEFF CLEMENT TIME
Begin repaying your sins now, Jeff Clement
the humans are dead...
binary solo
You could be a part-time model...but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job
Don't you talk about my Mom like that!
I like midgets more than I should.
hehe
Coach just said he doesn’t have a wiener
Coach Owens has no bones
by Scruffy Lefty on May 1, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions
I can't believe he kisses his Dad goodnight with that mouth.
I like midgets more than I should.
I know a guy who does that. It is so creepy.
He’s 33 and has three kids of his own.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
That IS pretty creepy.
He should get his own place at that age.
I like midgets more than I should.
I know this late, and I didn't read all of the comments, but my take on the headline story:
The should have carried her all the way around the bases and then leave her about 10 feet short of the plate. Only then would we know how badly she would want the homerun and let her earn it.
Also, Willie Bloomquist would have nawed off his legs and dragged himself around the bases because he is truly made of grit. This girl is a pansy.
by Wilder. on May 1, 2008 4:37 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I'd normally be upset to be stuck at work and missing this.
But it doesn’t sound like I’m missing much.
I like midgets more than I should.
Batistitis
A chronic psychological condition that actually causes you to miss Jarrod Washburn.
Gameday says:
Called Strike
Swinging Strike
Ball
Wladimir Balentien called out on strikes.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
Striking out looking against Byrd is like getting shot by a mooninite.
It should be pretty easy to avoid.
I like midgets more than I should.
But have you seen the quadlaser? Behold the power, you cannot stop it
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on May 1, 2008 4:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Total Destruction and Devastation Awaits you
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
I don't need no instructions to know how to ROCK!!
I like midgets more than I should.
Lopez has sent two to the track tonight. Not bad.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
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