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Aaaaaaaand This Begs For A Caption Contest

 

Beltre_wtf_medium

The person with the best caption wins a comment recommendation from yours truly and a free subscription to the True.com Sexy Singles newsletter.

I'm going with Seattle Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre signals for a timeout after identifying a fan on the field as Izzy Alcantara.

0 recs | Comment 67 comments

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ahahahaha

Jeff that has to win.

Great caption.

by PShwa on Apr 5, 2008 11:29 PM PDT   0 recs

"To no avail, Adrian Beltre try's to tell his biggest fan Red not to use his laser-vaporizer on Mike Reilly after Beltre was called out on strikes before being allowed to appeal his own swing."

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Apr 5, 2008 11:31 PM PDT   1 recs

Adrian Beltre does battle with the catchers maks that magician Yuniesky Betancourt has bewitched to chase him around the field

by nadzor on Apr 5, 2008 11:37 PM PDT   1 recs

"Beltre called time out. While his pitch recognition wasn't the greatest, he couldn't shake the feeling that the last pitch was in fact a catcher's mask."

by Jeff Weaver's Doritos on Apr 5, 2008 11:40 PM PDT   1 recs

"Use the Force, Adrian."

"Your eyes may deceive you. Only the Force helps you battle the masked enemy who cannot be seen."

formerly known as mdl

by iglew on Apr 5, 2008 11:42 PM PDT   0 recs

Don't make me slap you, Invisible Catcher! I've got a bat!

by Gomez on Apr 5, 2008 11:52 PM PDT   0 recs

Home plate umpire Jerry Crawford

evaporated from the intense heat generated by an Adrian Beltre stare down during an appeal of a called strike check swing.

Baseball been bery, bery good to me. - Chico Escuela

by 116in01 on Apr 5, 2008 11:55 PM PDT   0 recs

YES

what a good episode.

Hookay?

by CKremer on Apr 6, 2008 12:23 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

"Well,"

a winded and slightly disheveled Beltre explained, "I first suspected something was off when instead of calling the pitch, home plate umpire Jim Joyce bear hugged Pierzynski from behind and cackled menacingly. It’s not often you actually hear someone cackle. I mean, really cackle. So when he and A.J. dematerialized, I just knew Jim had kidnapped A.J. and escaped somewhere back in time, and it was up to me – and my familiarity with Quantum-mechanical phenomena – to save him. It was a simple matter of deduction to know where in time Joyce would most likely taking him. I pointed down to the first base umpire to corroborate my theory, though I suppose in retrospect it wasn’t all that necessary. Anyway, you all know the rest, and that’s how Red and I saved the universe. Honest. You can check with the first base umpire if you don’t believe me! He’ll tell you!"

by Jamelah on Apr 6, 2008 12:12 AM PDT   0 recs

Overheard in the stands....

"Yellow and blue for Adrian .... pitch comes along... and THAT happened! Over to the right.... I'm not sure what that means..."

by abelard on Apr 6, 2008 12:20 AM PDT   0 recs

Here goes...

Seattle's Adrian Beltre recoils in shock after seeing that Jason Voorhees is on a mission to be the only guy with a sports mask.

by SethGrandpa on Apr 6, 2008 12:40 AM PDT   0 recs

Note "shock" not "fear"

Beltre fears nothing except the occasional curvy pitch.

by SethGrandpa on Apr 6, 2008 12:42 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Adrian Beltre performs as lead dancer for the Weather Girls' new 7th inning stretch tune "It's Raining Masks"

The A's colors are green and gold.

by mikeA on Apr 6, 2008 12:45 AM PDT   0 recs

Easy...

STOP. Hammer time.

by Sidi on Apr 6, 2008 1:08 AM PDT   0 recs

And I'm rather drunk...

Doing a similar reply to the thread half an hour later.

by Sidi on Apr 6, 2008 1:09 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Who dare threatens?

for I am King Awesome!

by Fin on Apr 6, 2008 1:27 AM PDT   0 recs

Despite the recent nationwide cat ban

Adrian Beltre is caught "cheesing his fucking brains out" in the middle of a game. Afterward, Beltre attempted to rationalize his use of the illegal substance, "Have you seen our offense?"

The Mariners organization has yet to release an official statement.

by thenatural on Apr 6, 2008 2:52 AM PDT   0 recs

Seattle Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre reacts to the floating catchers' mask before appealing to the 1st base umpire.

by ThundaPC on Apr 6, 2008 2:55 AM PDT   0 recs

Accosted by what appeared to be an invisible catcher and having difficulty deciding whether to bludgeon his opponent to death or vaporise him with heat-vision, Adrian Beltre appeals for time.

by Graham on Apr 6, 2008 3:43 AM PDT   0 recs

Someone could probably put this more eloquently:

"King Awesome halts the universe of time to delve into the mind and soul of his opponent."

by Wilder. on Apr 6, 2008 5:34 AM PDT   0 recs

"Ay dios mio! El Chupacabra!"

by Willmore on Apr 6, 2008 6:13 AM PDT   0 recs

Ill shoot

The Mariners' Adrian Beltre reacts in shock as the entire Orioles team disappears from the face of the earth from this season's sheer irrelevance.

by sandalfan on Apr 6, 2008 7:52 AM PDT   0 recs

Adrian Beltre

was forced to fend off the apparently haunted catcher's mask with his bat for more than 4 minutes until the grounds crew could arrive with a makeshift net. There is still no official explanation for how or why the mask floated out of the Orioles clubhouse and attacked Beltre. "I never really thought those fencing lessons would come in so handy," Beltre quipped afterwards.

*Visiting Angels fan* Never give up, never surrender!

by TheOptimist on Apr 6, 2008 9:28 AM PDT   0 recs

S'Okay, you went in a completely different direction. ^_^

*Visiting Angels fan* Never give up, never surrender!

by TheOptimist on Apr 6, 2008 9:45 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Beisdes, I just noticed that if you look carefully in the background...

this picture was taken while they were facing the Rangers. Oops. >_<

*Visiting Angels fan* Never give up, never surrender!

by TheOptimist on Apr 6, 2008 9:52 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

King Awesome says

"Your welcome for the seppuku, bitch"

by don gato on Apr 6, 2008 9:29 AM PDT   0 recs

Two possibilities

1. Batter Adrian Beltre signals baserunner Ichiro Suzuki to return to third base after realizing that pitcher Bugs Bunny, arguably the best player ever banned from baseball, had employed the famous switcharoo play in which he pitches the catchers mask and then tags out the runner leading off of the base. It was all for naught as Beltre, Vidro, and Wilkerson all struck out on the ensuing pitch. It was described as a slow, curvy ball, the main weakness of the 2008 mariners.
or
2. Olympic qualifier Adrian Beltre, Dominican Republic, protests the host nation China's mistreatment of Tibetans by holding a fencing exhibition against the world's most difficult opponent, the invisible man. Beltre is revolutionary in fencing after employing a bat as opposed to the traditional epee or foil, only after his attempt at using no instrument failed.

by WWUPhil on Apr 6, 2008 9:36 AM PDT   0 recs

Clearly, it's:

Funk Blasted: Adrian Beltre, in full disco motion, is stunned by his first ever Reverse Funk Blast, which ejected the catcher, and not the ball, from the field of play at Oriole Park at Camden Yards late Saturday. No runs were credited for this version of the Funk Blast, though the catcher had to be replaced. The Orioles won the game 6-4.

LaRussa for 2008 Manager!

by EireDuck on Apr 6, 2008 10:39 AM PDT   0 recs

Adrian Beltre

will take some time getting used to new 3rd string emergency catcher David Eckstein (and his amazing see-through skin!)

but what he lacks in skin pigmentation and visibility he makes up with...uh...

by Karma Police on Apr 6, 2008 12:51 PM PDT   0 recs

"Stand Back!...

..I'll deal with this."

"Get offa my lawn!"

by Greybear on Apr 6, 2008 1:22 PM PDT   0 recs

Seattle Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre waits to be tapped in by Houston Rockets center Yao Ming during this year's Annual Pro Sports Battle Melee. To his right, Melee veteran Alan Iverson slings a trophy from his recent conquest over Milwaukee Brewers catcher Jason Kendall. Beltre is 3-0 lifetime for this charity event, raising over $40,000 for autism research through match pledge donations.

by iheartjavelinas on Apr 6, 2008 1:24 PM PDT   0 recs

Caption

"Beltre just recently finished watching 'Saturday Night Fever'"

by marinerbaseball116 on Apr 6, 2008 3:13 PM PDT   0 recs

Who wins? Who wins?

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Apr 6, 2008 4:37 PM PDT   0 recs

hmmmm

"Rangers Catcher Gerald Laird had apparently laughed at Beltre's appeal of his own check swing. After teleporting Laird to a remote part of Argentina, Beltre 'appealed' to the third base umpire and asked if anyone else had something to say."

"Beltre signals to a baserunner that Texas Catcher Gerald Laird had fallen for a classic trick: "I told him that there were free Funyons near the M's dugout."

"Adrian Beltre appealed to the first base umpire after determining that he, and not Gerald Laird and Tim McClelland (both caucasian) had survived the lightning attack by the demented killer. 'I have seen many movies,' said Beltre afterwards, 'and I have no seen this situation.'"

"Beltre's off-season workout plan included Tiger-Crane style, which helped getting home plate umpire Mark Carlson to change a called strike. Gerald Laird, not pictured, fainted."

by marc w on Apr 6, 2008 5:53 PM PDT   0 recs

Hello, my name is Adrian Beltre.

You kill my father. Prepare to die.

by borgy on Apr 6, 2008 8:06 PM PDT   0 recs

"Alarmed upon suddenly realizing...

that Texas Rangers catcher Ghost Laird is spooking him on Martin Luther King Jrs birthday, Adrian Beltre asks "What would Ichiro do?' and immediately goes into Killer Kung Fu mode."

by kva15 on Apr 6, 2008 8:09 PM PDT   0 recs

Damn!

Evolution has done these mosquitoes well. Invisibility powers AND catchers masks??? Wow!

Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum

by PositivePaul on Apr 7, 2008 9:04 AM PDT   0 recs

WWWWWWIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAARD

Now you can choose the size of your circle.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on Apr 7, 2008 12:45 PM PDT   0 recs

I know this isn't one of the best,

but I'm curious how many people got this reference.

...and now I'm here

by Librocrat on Apr 8, 2008 12:11 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That phone company commerical

Altell I think...whatever..it sucks!

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Apr 8, 2008 12:38 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

...um

"...the Snickers bar had flown from Beltre's left hand almost to the mound before Laird made his move..."

You could be a part-time model...but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job

by pakipaki on Apr 7, 2008 3:14 PM PDT   0 recs

Realizing he might have "caught a peice" of the catcher on his warm up swing.

King Awesome requests a time out from the umpire.

Fun Fact: Angels third baseman Chone Figgins' first name is actually pronounced "Shawn." And his last name is actually pronounced "Weinberg" (it's a silent "Figgins").

by Thingray on Apr 7, 2008 5:23 PM PDT   0 recs

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