13-14
Funny thing about not having any offense. You never see games like this coming. Red Sox and Yankees fans...I'm pretty sure they go into every game expecting to win, even if they're tied or trailing in the later innings, because they know they're capable of putting a bunch of runs on the board at the drop of a hat. But we don't have that luxury, and so we live in constant fear that regardless of the situation, we may never score again. We've been conditioned to believe that this lineup is woefully inept, and so when they come up with a rally like this to storm out ahead, we're taken completely off guard. And in some respects I think that makes it more fun, more exhilarating. Having justifiably high expectations is cool and all, but the emotional gap between expecting to win and winning is smaller than the emotional gap between expecting to lose and winning, so there's something to be said for being in our position. When the team actually comes through, it feels pretty neat.
King Awesome through 27 games: .309/.409/.553, league-best 20 plays made OOZ, best discipline of his life. He's getting fewer pitches in the zone now than he ever has because pitchers are afraid of him, and pitchers are afraid of him because he's really flipping good. How someone answers the question "has Adrian Beltre been a bust in Seattle?" would be a good litmus test for whether or not the person is worth engaging in conversation. This guy is a hell of a player and absolutely deserving of his nickname. Never leave us, Adrian. We wouldn't be able to take it.
Biggest Contribution: Adrian Beltre, +33.0%
Biggest Suckfest: Kenji Johjima, -23.5%
Most Important AB: Beltre homer, +26.9%
Most Important Pitch: Dellucci single, -22.0%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +20.2%
Total Contribution by Hitters: +27.0%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +2.8%
(What is this chart?)
This calls for a slightly different kind of Recap In Pictures.

game begins
indians take early lead
johjima double play #1
johjima double play #2
vidro RBI double #2
middle innings
indians begin 8th inning rally
indians continue 8th inning rally
indians tie game
arthur rhodes escapes the 8th with a tie
king awesome goes deep
king awesome goes deep
king awesome goes deep
king awesome goes deep
king awesome goes deep
betancourt piles on
mariners win
12 recs |
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I think I love you...
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Apr 29, 2008 10:06 PM PDT 0 recs
Ha that's a good recap of the game.
I am going to have to start using these pics whenever similar situations arise in the future, so you may need to do a similar recap for an M’s loss in the near future.
by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:08 PM PDT 0 recs
Please don't cut your wrists just for a hilariously awesome picture.
I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever since it’d be totally reusable, but it still wouldn’t be a good thing.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 10:10 PM PDT
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0 recs
I'm concerned he has a knife that big....being a Mariner fan and all.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on
Apr 29, 2008 10:14 PM PDT
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I thought you had to own a knife that big to be a Mariner fan
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 10:16 PM PDT
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I keep mine stowed deep in a kitchen drawer, because I know better than to give myself easy access
by Gomez on
Apr 29, 2008 10:27 PM PDT
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This is a good policy for not harming yourself
But how in the world do you harm others?
See, there’s always a problem.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 10:30 PM PDT
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Fair enough.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 10:35 PM PDT
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Only one?
I have at least three that size. You know, in case I need a backup or something.
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
by PositivePaul on
Apr 30, 2008 7:52 AM PDT
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That's not a knife
This is a knife:
...
Wait, wer’e you actually expecting a pic of a knife, and not just a bad Crocodile Dundee joke?
by chrisisasavage on
Apr 30, 2008 8:15 AM PDT
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THAT'S NOT A KNIFE! THIS IS A KNIFE!

the other angels fan
by Eyebrows on
Apr 30, 2008 8:50 AM PDT
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I see you've played knifey-spoony before.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
by Phildopip on
Apr 30, 2008 8:56 AM PDT
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BTW, 4th picture down is definitely your twin Stifler
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on Apr 29, 2008 10:08 PM PDT 0 recs
Holy shit yeah
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 10:11 PM PDT
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Gil Meche was in Walking Tall?
Hmm... Needs more Bonds.
by Double06 on
Apr 29, 2008 10:28 PM PDT
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Best Recap ever.
Vidro’s RBI Doubles, the first knife, and all the Beltre funk had me fucking rolling
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:09 PM PDT 0 recs
hahaha
that’s really all I can say, great recap.
FREE JEREMY REED!!
by MFAN on Apr 29, 2008 10:13 PM PDT 0 recs
Good show
What’s the pink ruffly thing under the M’s Road Jersey though? This question could gnaw at me for hours…
by Frosty Raptor on Apr 29, 2008 10:16 PM PDT 0 recs
ahahahaha!
I can’t stop laughing. That was super mega-awesome whoopass funny Jeff.
by coolguyrob on Apr 29, 2008 10:16 PM PDT 0 recs
Pic #5 demands hilarious subtitling /memedom
And sweet gentle Jesus that was one of the most excruciating wins ever. The only part of that game that didn’t hurt was KA’s homerun, otherwise just awful… but hey we won! It’s amazing that this org can’t fill the two easiest positions on the field with someone even remotely competent. Maybe the new kids will bring the offense from terrible to simply bad.
by JI on Apr 29, 2008 10:17 PM PDT 0 recs
Man now we have all sorts of photo-fodder for GTE.
Thanks Jeff!
by BrianL on Apr 29, 2008 10:21 PM PDT 0 recs
Picture #6 FTW
If any one of these makes it into the LL image collection it’s that one. “Vidro’s 2nd RBI double.”
by esoteric on Apr 29, 2008 10:22 PM PDT 0 recs
Instant classic
You should do more photo recaps of GTEs…
This could potentially be a great contest – Best GTE Moments (IN PICTURES!)
Insert perverted sports related sexual innuendo
by wwbaker3 on Apr 29, 2008 10:23 PM PDT 0 recs
As long as EnglishMariner is prohibited from entering
by Jeff on
Apr 29, 2008 10:24 PM PDT
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Why would she be prohibited?
I should make some using my macbook webcam. I will next time I am able to sit down and watch a game.
by Fin on
Apr 29, 2008 10:31 PM PDT
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Unless you're being sarcastic here, uh, English Mariner is a dude
I don’t want to see him fucking the man or any sort of “Fuck my pussy” GTE from him.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 10:32 PM PDT
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0 recs
For some reason I thought EnglishMariner was a woman
I thought I saw people referring him as a woman, maybe I was hallucinating. So if English Mariner sees this, I apologize.
by Fin on
Apr 29, 2008 10:38 PM PDT
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He once said “fuck my pussy” during a game thread. In the ensuing hilarity it’s not surprising you got the impression he’s female.
by appleshampoo on
Apr 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT
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He should be prohibited because I'm afraid he might kill himself on camera
by Jeff on
Apr 29, 2008 10:39 PM PDT
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Wait you guys don't actually think about those types of things?
by Robert on
Apr 29, 2008 10:44 PM PDT
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It's not about that
it’s about my website having photographic evidence of somebody’s death. I don’t want to deal with all that bureaucracy.
by Jeff on
Apr 29, 2008 10:48 PM PDT
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I am suspicious of anyone who genuinely cares for another human being.
by JI on
Apr 29, 2008 10:49 PM PDT
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Very cynical outlook on the world
But I feel that you could be right. I wouldn’t want someone committing suicide over the Mariners, whether they take pictures or not.
by Fin on
Apr 29, 2008 10:50 PM PDT
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Something morbid this way comes
Very few people who attempt suicide by slashing their wrists are successful, largely because they don’t know what they’re doing. Not that this is any comfort.
Wait, why am I bring this up? The Mariners won! Woo. Now if only the Avs will save face…
by Frosty Raptor on
Apr 29, 2008 11:28 PM PDT
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I think you have to slash vertically not horizontally.
If you slash vertically on the vein, then you could possibly die. If you slash horizontally, you just look emo (definition of emo: stupid). I hope English Mariner (or Jeff) takes note of this.
by Fin on
Apr 29, 2008 11:37 PM PDT
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Forget other human beings, I care about me
and having pictures of someone committing suicide wouldn’t do me any favors.
by Jeff on
Apr 29, 2008 10:53 PM PDT
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So...
SBN RAM problems – LL shuts down for twelve hours or so
Person commits suicide and posts photographic evidence – LL shuts down for an hour or two.
wooooo go Mariners!!
by seattlebruin on
Apr 30, 2008 7:27 AM PDT
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wait,
how would that person be able to post the photos?
by Matthew on
Apr 30, 2008 7:53 AM PDT
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I noticed you drank to celebrate
I drink when our 6-9 hitters come to bat. When they’re OPS-ing sub 700 or or even sub 600, it’s time to twist open a few bottles…
Insert perverted sports related sexual innuendo
by wwbaker3 on
Apr 29, 2008 10:32 PM PDT
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0 recs
I can't stop laughing at the "indians tie game" picture.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
by Goose on Apr 29, 2008 10:25 PM PDT 0 recs
Everyone not named Felix, Ichiro or KA
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
by Mariner John on
Apr 29, 2008 10:41 PM PDT
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Yeah that was one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen
Same with the knife appearing in the continued rally one.
Hahahahaha this was actaully the best recap ever
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on
Apr 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT
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0 recs
Like today's game, victorious recap is victorious
I saw the game on the big screens at the restaurant. I saw them scoring runs in the 9th and wondered who the hell dropped LSD in my root beer.
by Gomez on Apr 29, 2008 10:25 PM PDT 0 recs
so the question must be asked
Did you plan on this kind of a recap before the game? If not, were the pictures (gasp) staged after the game? Or do you just always take a mid-game photo shoot.
by appleshampoo on Apr 29, 2008 10:33 PM PDT 0 recs
wait,
in the “arthur rhodes escapes the 8th with a tie” pic, are you looking up to the heavens thanking it for the divine intervention or are you looking for the knife from the previous pic that you might have thrown in the air? Dangerous either way. GTE and sharp objects don’t mix…
Insert perverted sports related sexual innuendo
by wwbaker3 on Apr 29, 2008 10:36 PM PDT 0 recs
LL HOF
It loses its luster when we add to it everyday.
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
by Mariner John on Apr 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT 0 recs
I blame F'n A's
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
by Mariner John on
Apr 29, 2008 10:43 PM PDT
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0 recs
I am picturing a big mojo's risin' symbol somewhere in this pic
Unfortunately I don’t have photoshop, so I am unable to do this :(. 
by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:49 PM PDT 0 recs
Johnny Mac Awake; Game More Fucked.
I fucking hate you Mariners
by kentroyals5 on
Apr 29, 2008 10:59 PM PDT
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Done

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on
Apr 29, 2008 11:14 PM PDT
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1 recs
It's all about Microsoft Paint.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on
Apr 29, 2008 11:46 PM PDT
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Great recap
But why is Beltre using Zito’s golden crown and scepter?
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 29, 2008 11:10 PM PDT 0 recs
Love it how the M's extend Johjima's contract
but will probably let King Awesome walk after next year. :-(
by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on Apr 29, 2008 11:11 PM PDT 0 recs
Is there any ground to fear that, though? Who the fuck would even replace him?
Tuiasosopo? A flash-aged Triunfel? If we lose Beltre and sign kneeless scrapheap #3, someone is going to burn down someone’s trailer.
by Jordan of Boise on
Apr 29, 2008 11:13 PM PDT
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Dude, don't even suggest that
King Awesome will stay healthy his whole contract! (But incase this isn’t the case, there is Joe Crede and Brandon Inge)
by Fin on
Apr 29, 2008 11:19 PM PDT
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No one's suggesting that Beltre won't be healthy - I'm referring to the kneeless scrapheaps
that Bavasi has a such a boner for every offseason.
by Jordan of Boise on
Apr 29, 2008 11:21 PM PDT
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No cause for concern here
Beltre will turn 31 in his first season after his current contract expires, which is exactly the sort of age that the current Front Office levitates towards. I think our prospects for watching King Awesome man the hot corner well into the future are rather promising. Unless Boston decides to take a stab at him. Then we’re buggered.
by Frosty Raptor on
Apr 29, 2008 11:41 PM PDT
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Problem is, as Bavasi does
he’ll wait until Beltre’s value is at its peak and THEN extend him when with just an ounce of smarts and/or foresight he could have possibly got Beltre to extend for 3 to 4 years at his current salary.
by Matthew on
Apr 30, 2008 1:43 AM PDT
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This takes some balls.
Well done.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on Apr 29, 2008 11:11 PM PDT 0 recs





















