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Tiny by Jeff on in Game Recaps

Funny thing about not having any offense. You never see games like this coming. Red Sox and Yankees fans...I'm pretty sure they go into every game expecting to win, even if they're tied or trailing in the later innings, because they know they're capable of putting a bunch of runs on the board at the drop of a hat. But we don't have that luxury, and so we live in constant fear that regardless of the situation, we may never score again. We've been conditioned to believe that this lineup is woefully inept, and so when they come up with a rally like this to storm out ahead, we're taken completely off guard. And in some respects I think that makes it more fun, more exhilarating. Having justifiably high expectations is cool and all, but the emotional gap between expecting to win and winning is smaller than the emotional gap between expecting to lose and winning, so there's something to be said for being in our position. When the team actually comes through, it feels pretty neat.

King Awesome through 27 games: .309/.409/.553, league-best 20 plays made OOZ, best discipline of his life. He's getting fewer pitches in the zone now than he ever has because pitchers are afraid of him, and pitchers are afraid of him because he's really flipping good. How someone answers the question "has Adrian Beltre been a bust in Seattle?" would be a good litmus test for whether or not the person is worth engaging in conversation. This guy is a hell of a player and absolutely deserving of his nickname. Never leave us, Adrian. We wouldn't be able to take it.

4_29_08_medium
Biggest Contribution: Adrian Beltre, +33.0%
Biggest Suckfest: Kenji Johjima, -23.5%
Most Important AB: Beltre homer, +26.9%
Most Important Pitch: Dellucci single, -22.0%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +20.2%
Total Contribution by Hitters: +27.0%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +2.8%
(What is this chart?)

This calls for a slightly different kind of Recap In Pictures.

 

Star-divide

game begins

Indiansgame_001_medium

indians take early lead

Indiansgame_002_medium

johjima double play #1

Indiansgame_004_medium
vidro RBI double

Indiansgame_003_medium

johjima double play #2

Indiansgame_006_medium

vidro RBI double #2

Indiansgame_005_medium

middle innings

Indiansgame_007_medium

indians begin 8th inning rally

Indiansgame_008_medium

indians continue 8th inning rally

Indiansgame_009_medium

indians tie game

Indiansgame_010_medium

arthur rhodes escapes the 8th with a tie

Indiansgame_011_medium

king awesome goes deep

Indiansgame_012_medium

king awesome goes deep

Indiansgame_013_medium

king awesome goes deep

Indiansgame_014_medium

king awesome goes deep

Indiansgame_015_medium

king awesome goes deep

Indiansgame_016_medium

betancourt piles on

Indiansgame_017_medium

mariners win

Indiansgame_medium

12 recs | Comment 295 comments

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I think I love you...

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Apr 29, 2008 10:06 PM PDT   0 recs

Ha that's a good recap of the game.

I am going to have to start using these pics whenever similar situations arise in the future, so you may need to do a similar recap for an M’s loss in the near future.

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:08 PM PDT   0 recs

Please don't cut your wrists just for a hilariously awesome picture.

I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever since it’d be totally reusable, but it still wouldn’t be a good thing.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:10 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I thought you had to own a knife that big to be a Mariner fan

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:16 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

This is a good policy for not harming yourself

But how in the world do you harm others?

See, there’s always a problem.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:30 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Fair enough.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:35 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Only one?

I have at least three that size. You know, in case I need a backup or something.

Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum

by PositivePaul on Apr 30, 2008 7:52 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That's not a knife

This is a knife:

...

Wait, wer’e you actually expecting a pic of a knife, and not just a bad Crocodile Dundee joke?

by chrisisasavage on Apr 30, 2008 8:15 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Holy shit yeah

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:11 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Best Recap ever.

Vidro’s RBI Doubles, the first knife, and all the Beltre funk had me fucking rolling

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:09 PM PDT   0 recs

Funniest. Recap. Ever.

Hmm... Needs more Bonds.

by Double06 on Apr 29, 2008 10:11 PM PDT   0 recs

hahaha

that’s really all I can say, great recap.

FREE JEREMY REED!!

by MFAN on Apr 29, 2008 10:13 PM PDT   0 recs

Good show

What’s the pink ruffly thing under the M’s Road Jersey though? This question could gnaw at me for hours…

by Frosty Raptor on Apr 29, 2008 10:16 PM PDT   0 recs

It’s one of these. (sexy mannequin not included)

by Jeff on Apr 29, 2008 10:29 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

ahahahaha!

I can’t stop laughing. That was super mega-awesome whoopass funny Jeff.

by coolguyrob on Apr 29, 2008 10:16 PM PDT   0 recs

Pic #5 demands hilarious subtitling /memedom

And sweet gentle Jesus that was one of the most excruciating wins ever. The only part of that game that didn’t hurt was KA’s homerun, otherwise just awful… but hey we won! It’s amazing that this org can’t fill the two easiest positions on the field with someone even remotely competent. Maybe the new kids will bring the offense from terrible to simply bad.

by JI on Apr 29, 2008 10:17 PM PDT   0 recs

Picture #6 FTW

If any one of these makes it into the LL image collection it’s that one. “Vidro’s 2nd RBI double.”

by esoteric on Apr 29, 2008 10:22 PM PDT   0 recs

Instant classic

You should do more photo recaps of GTEs…

This could potentially be a great contest – Best GTE Moments (IN PICTURES!)

Insert perverted sports related sexual innuendo

by wwbaker3 on Apr 29, 2008 10:23 PM PDT   0 recs

Why would she be prohibited?

I should make some using my macbook webcam. I will next time I am able to sit down and watch a game.

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:31 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Unless you're being sarcastic here, uh, English Mariner is a dude

I don’t want to see him fucking the man or any sort of “Fuck my pussy” GTE from him.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 10:32 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

For some reason I thought EnglishMariner was a woman

I thought I saw people referring him as a woman, maybe I was hallucinating. So if English Mariner sees this, I apologize.

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:38 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

He once said “fuck my pussy” during a game thread. In the ensuing hilarity it’s not surprising you got the impression he’s female.

by appleshampoo on Apr 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

It's not about that

it’s about my website having photographic evidence of somebody’s death. I don’t want to deal with all that bureaucracy.

by Jeff on Apr 29, 2008 10:48 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Very cynical outlook on the world

But I feel that you could be right. I wouldn’t want someone committing suicide over the Mariners, whether they take pictures or not.

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:50 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Something morbid this way comes

Very few people who attempt suicide by slashing their wrists are successful, largely because they don’t know what they’re doing. Not that this is any comfort.

Wait, why am I bring this up? The Mariners won! Woo. Now if only the Avs will save face…

by Frosty Raptor on Apr 29, 2008 11:28 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I think you have to slash vertically not horizontally.

If you slash vertically on the vein, then you could possibly die. If you slash horizontally, you just look emo (definition of emo: stupid). I hope English Mariner (or Jeff) takes note of this.

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 11:37 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Forget other human beings, I care about me

and having pictures of someone committing suicide wouldn’t do me any favors.

by Jeff on Apr 29, 2008 10:53 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

So...

SBN RAM problems – LL shuts down for twelve hours or so
Person commits suicide and posts photographic evidence – LL shuts down for an hour or two.

wooooo go Mariners!!

by seattlebruin on Apr 30, 2008 7:27 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

wait,

how would that person be able to post the photos?

by Matthew on Apr 30, 2008 7:53 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I noticed you drank to celebrate

I drink when our 6-9 hitters come to bat. When they’re OPS-ing sub 700 or or even sub 600, it’s time to twist open a few bottles…

Insert perverted sports related sexual innuendo

by wwbaker3 on Apr 29, 2008 10:32 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

I can't stop laughing at the "indians tie game" picture.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

by Goose on Apr 29, 2008 10:25 PM PDT   0 recs

Yeah

I wonder who exactly he is wishing death upon.

by Gomez on Apr 29, 2008 10:26 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Everyone not named Felix, Ichiro or KA

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

by Mariner John on Apr 29, 2008 10:41 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Yeah that was one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen

Same with the knife appearing in the continued rally one.

Hahahahaha this was actaully the best recap ever

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Apr 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Like today's game, victorious recap is victorious

I saw the game on the big screens at the restaurant. I saw them scoring runs in the 9th and wondered who the hell dropped LSD in my root beer.

by Gomez on Apr 29, 2008 10:25 PM PDT   0 recs

My hat's off to you, sir

You’ve outdone yourself

by ningwers on Apr 29, 2008 10:25 PM PDT   0 recs

so the question must be asked

Did you plan on this kind of a recap before the game? If not, were the pictures (gasp) staged after the game? Or do you just always take a mid-game photo shoot.

by appleshampoo on Apr 29, 2008 10:33 PM PDT   0 recs

wait,

in the “arthur rhodes escapes the 8th with a tie” pic, are you looking up to the heavens thanking it for the divine intervention or are you looking for the knife from the previous pic that you might have thrown in the air? Dangerous either way. GTE and sharp objects don’t mix…

Insert perverted sports related sexual innuendo

by wwbaker3 on Apr 29, 2008 10:36 PM PDT   0 recs

LL HOF

It loses its luster when we add to it everyday.

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

by Mariner John on Apr 29, 2008 10:42 PM PDT   0 recs

I am picturing a big mojo's risin' symbol somewhere in this pic

Unfortunately I don’t have photoshop, so I am unable to do this :(.

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 10:49 PM PDT   0 recs

Done

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Apr 29, 2008 11:14 PM PDT to parent up   1 recs

Well Done.

This is fanshot worthy

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 11:15 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Awesome recap

Reminds me of emotioneric.com

by Kaorikaze on Apr 29, 2008 11:05 PM PDT   0 recs

Great recap

But why is Beltre using Zito’s golden crown and scepter?

by Jordan of Boise on Apr 29, 2008 11:10 PM PDT   0 recs

Love it how the M's extend Johjima's contract

but will probably let King Awesome walk after next year. :-(

by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on Apr 29, 2008 11:11 PM PDT   0 recs

Is there any ground to fear that, though? Who the fuck would even replace him?

Tuiasosopo? A flash-aged Triunfel? If we lose Beltre and sign kneeless scrapheap #3, someone is going to burn down someone’s trailer.

by Jordan of Boise on Apr 29, 2008 11:13 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Dude, don't even suggest that

King Awesome will stay healthy his whole contract! (But incase this isn’t the case, there is Joe Crede and Brandon Inge)

by Fin on Apr 29, 2008 11:19 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

No cause for concern here

Beltre will turn 31 in his first season after his current contract expires, which is exactly the sort of age that the current Front Office levitates towards. I think our prospects for watching King Awesome man the hot corner well into the future are rather promising. Unless Boston decides to take a stab at him. Then we’re buggered.

by Frosty Raptor on Apr 29, 2008 11:41 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Problem is, as Bavasi does

he’ll wait until Beltre’s value is at its peak and THEN extend him when with just an ounce of smarts and/or foresight he could have possibly got Beltre to extend for 3 to 4 years at his current salary.

by Matthew on Apr 30, 2008 1:43 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs