SOMEONE HAS ANGERED GOD

by Karma Police on Apr 27, 2008 3:23 PM PDT

So obviously god's a dick who holds grudges. im convinced that some mariners fan did something way back when that angered god, and now he's punishing every single mariners fan, cause thats exactly what would have happened in the old testament. (hmm you didnt wash yourself 7 times in the river? haha fuck you now youre whole family is punished! this is incredibly fair!)

OK, its probably someone who's been a fan since 1977. Im guessing they were a Pilots fan too. that would make sense with their luck.

Attantion: if youre out there (you must know who you are). please please please either apologize to god or return the cursed monkey hand or something. cause seriously man, you fucked up. god hates us and its all your fault.

have you considered switching teams? these days, anyone can be a red sox fan! its red sox nation!!! doesnt that sound like fun? their hats come in pink and green and its wonderful!

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I say we all convert to being Rays fans

...If that hasn’t happened already. Then we can deny the Mariners’ existence and claim to have always supported the Rays

by CKel on Apr 27, 2008 3:54 PM PDT reply actions

Your name is appropriate for this post

by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Apr 27, 2008 3:59 PM PDT reply actions

Also a very good Radiohead song too.

by Fin on Apr 27, 2008 4:06 PM PDT up reply actions

For a minute there

I lost myself.

by Gomez on Apr 27, 2008 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions

You bet your ass Felix is angry.

by JI on Apr 27, 2008 4:17 PM PDT reply actions

Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?

by HARRYP09 on Apr 27, 2008 4:46 PM PDT reply actions

WORSE THAN THAT!!

When Chief Seattle was told that they wished to name the nascent settlement after him, he refused!
He added with alarm..

“When I’m dead, when anyone says my name, I will turn in my grave! I cannot allow this!”

Well, they ignored his plea. And today, the spirit of Chief Seattle knows =best= how to punish those that make him spin!!

Solution: get rid of the “Seattle” name, and bring back the original, honest name:

“Skid Row”

A row of houses sprouted up along a log-skid path of mud, and this was the original basis of the settlement.

"I never predict anything, and I never will." Paul Gascoigne, English footballer

by One won lost won on Apr 28, 2008 11:09 AM PDT up reply actions

Oh, so since Seattle is cursed

why dont we just move the team to oklahoma city? im sure nobody will ever object to that idea!

by Karma Police on Apr 28, 2008 12:49 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Will we get to replace the Mariner Moose

with Sebastian Bach?

by Llewdor on Apr 28, 2008 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm seriously considering finding another team to root for

At least until our current management is fired, there is just too much blatant idiocy going on for it to be fun to be a Mariners fan with these folks

by OlSalty on Apr 27, 2008 6:35 PM PDT reply actions

The Rays?

by Fin on Apr 27, 2008 6:41 PM PDT up reply actions

See this is why I became a Diamondbacks fan.

I’ll never ever stop being a Mariners fan, no matter how bad it gets. However, I think rooting for a smart team like the DBacks, or the Rays, or the Indians, or the Brewers, or whatever along side the Mariners really helps, ALOT. The Mariners can fuck up, and piss me off to no end, but it’s ok, because Arizona counters it and takes alot of the pain away. Even if the DBacks have a bad game at the same time, it’s still ok because I’m always pretty optimistic about the team because they are awesome.

I would definitely recommend if you guys are gonna root for the Rays, to become emotionally invested in them. Become a full on fan. It’ll help you when the Mariners keep fucking up.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

by Goose on Apr 27, 2008 7:07 PM PDT reply actions

I've considered being a Diamondbacks fan

How do you do it? Do you just start following the team and going on their blog, or does it take time? I don’t know if I could commit myself to a team that I’ve never even been to their stadium or anything. I have also thought of being a fan of these teams:
Indians
Diamondbacks
~~Dodgers~~
Rays
Marlins (I used to cheer for them when I lived in South Florida, but my interest for them waned after they did that firesale after the 2005 season)
Red Sox
Astros
Tigers

I feel the Marlins are my best option, since I still have family in Ft. Lauderdale (by Miami) but their situation is so depressing, I might wait until they finally build that new stadium.

by Fin on Apr 27, 2008 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm a closet Nationals fan because I manage them in an online league.

by HARRYP09 on Apr 27, 2008 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions

I hate the Nationals because I used to be an Expos fan.

I only found the Mariners after Selig crippled the Expos (I chose the M’s after the 2000 season – great timing).

by Llewdor on Apr 28, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Well, I started in 2003 by just reading stuff about them and learning as much as I could.

And I watched a few games here and there for next few years(thought I had made a horrible mistake when 2004 happened), but when they hired Josh Byrnes after the end of the 05 season I became fully interested, because I’d heard of Byrnes before and had a good idea that he would be a really good GM. So thanks to mlb.tv I started watching almost as many DBacks games as I did Mariner games and started getting seriously emotionally invested in the team. But I was still kinda a closet fan and kept it to myself. But when they changed their colors and revamped the team identity after the 06 season ended, I bought my first DBacks hat and considered myself a full on fan.

So yeah, I think it kinda takes time and takes a serious commitment. I don’t think you can half ass these things.

Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.

by Goose on Apr 27, 2008 9:02 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

The benefits of becoming a DBacks fan

1) Watching a Brandon Webb start and marveling at hitters driving the ball straight into the dirt
2) Mark Reynolds striking out 3 times before launching one 500 feet
3) Any Micah Owings at bat
4) The scrapiness that is Eric Byrnes
5) Mark Grace and Daron Sutton
6) Justin fucking Upton

by AZSEAfan on Apr 28, 2008 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions

7) Dan Haren?

Don’t the DBacks have their own 1-2 punch in Webb/Haren? Fortunately for them the rest of the team is good enough that the team is actually good.

by Fin on Apr 28, 2008 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions

There's one that trumps all:

having Randy Fucking Johnson on your side.

by JI on Apr 28, 2008 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions

Forgot about that guy

I heard he used to be pretty good.

by AZSEAfan on Apr 28, 2008 9:21 PM PDT up reply actions

New Reason

Max Scherzer. Season debut 4 1/3 IP in relief, 0 hits, 0 walks, 7K. I think he might be okay.

by AZSEAfan on Apr 30, 2008 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions

I'm pretty sure I'm a Mariners fan

In Vegas, we got tons of Padres and A’s coverage (and this was during the Bash Bros era), but I could never get into those teams. I was totally a Mariners fan.

by Gomez on Apr 27, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions

It's time for drastic measures

Scaryroll
Scaryrain
Scaryforever
Scarybutt

by Gomez on Apr 27, 2008 7:57 PM PDT reply actions

Eh, I've always liked rooting for a crap team.

Builds character.

by Liebkartoffel on Apr 27, 2008 8:56 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs

It makes the rest of my life feel slightly less pathetic

by Robert on Apr 27, 2008 10:35 PM PDT up reply actions

It only builds character for so long

After you’ve been a Mariners fan for 10 years or so, all it leads to is crippling depression.

by OlSalty on Apr 27, 2008 11:24 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

I've been casually following the Padres and Phillies

for a few years now, but it’s just not the same…I don’t think I’ll ever love any baseball team as much as I love the Mariners, which is why I will never, ever be happy in life.

Someone say something witty.

by Omerta on Apr 28, 2008 12:43 AM PDT reply actions

Changing teams definitely takes time.

I have become a Utah Jazz fan (not Stockon/Malone ear fan, though) because I got into watching the team play. With the Sonics likely moving, it only makes the change easier.

As for baseball, I like the Rays, but I can’t get into them. Their stadium sucks and they play in the AL. Instead, I prefer to adopt an NL team because it doesn’t conflict so much with the Mariners. Living in Utah, I get both the Rockies and Diamondbacks on FSN. I enjoy watching both teams, but for some reason I can’t fully invest in either one. I have to say I root for the Washington Nationals the most because I lived in D.C. for a couple of years. Unfortunately, their lineup sucks harder than the Mariners’ so I do not watch a lot of their games. I will give them time, though, and maybe I will become fully invested at some point.

In the meantime, I will enjoy Felix and Bedard days and hope for Wlad Balentein’s callup, Vidro and Wilkerson’s release, and Barry Bonds’ signing.

by Wilder. on Apr 28, 2008 1:50 AM PDT reply actions

I should just convert to the Angels

I mean it’s not THAT hard to root for Jered Weaver…

by seattlebruin on Apr 28, 2008 8:24 AM PDT reply actions

Hey gang look on the brightside

according to Baseball Mogul 2009 we will win the World Series in 2017! And I had to take the ALCS (against those douchebag Angels) to 7 games and the World Series to 7 games. Phillippe Aumont started both game 7’s. Oh, and Ichiro retires at age 45.

by thewyrm on Apr 28, 2008 9:10 AM PDT reply actions

STOP RUINING THE FUTURE FOR US

Can’t you just let us wait and find out what happens on our own???

by seattlebruin on Apr 28, 2008 9:21 AM PDT up reply actions

I read a poll somewhere that there are more atheists in Washington than any other state, maybe that has something to do with it.

by InSpokane on Apr 28, 2008 10:09 AM PDT reply actions

Problem with that idea

is that thirty ML baseball teams are fully sprinkled with devout, prayerful players. Yet only one team out of thirty gets to be World Champions each year. How does that fact align with your “atheists in Washington” count, cause-and-effect idea? I’m always amused by these people who can insert their thinking into the position of a “Supreme Being” and thus explain a narrowly-selected set of observations with a self-serving outcome.

Clint Hurdle is one of the “every thing happens for a reason” god-worshippers, and his team got trounced in the World Series. So Clint, is your life, or the lives of people in Denver improved by the 0-4 World Series event??

"I never predict anything, and I never will." Paul Gascoigne, English footballer

by One won lost won on Apr 28, 2008 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions