4/27: Open Game Thread
Oakland @ Seattle
Earlier this morning, whilst I lay in bed and accompanied Eliza Dushku to Home Depot to buy planks of redwood for her above-ground pool deck, there came a knock that aroused me in all the wrong ways. Yawning, I stumbled out of my room and groggily opened the door, whereupon I was greeted by the pleasant faces of two middle-aged men with different ties and matching conviction. Exhausted and just the slightest bit hung over, at first I didn't do the math in my head, and so for about three or four minutes I stood there while they engaged me in conversation about current events and universal concerns. I nodded and mumbled and nodded some more, but gradually I began to come to and take stock of the situation, at which point one of the men asked me if I'm familiar with God.
I paused for a moment. Then, with a hint of a smile, I turned to the man and replied.
"I sure am."
I asked if they wouldn't mind letting me get to breakfast, so they issued me a polite farewell and walked away. I closed the door.
Today I don't have time for proselytization. Today I worship at the altar of Felix.

LET'S GO MARINERS!!
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726
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Comments
Sooooo.....
tomorrow you’ll have time for proselytization?
by brayden04 on Apr 27, 2008 11:58 AM PDT 0 recs
Tomorrow I have to go to work
but yeah, I wouldn’t mind.
by Jeff on
Apr 27, 2008 12:01 PM PDT
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In a raspy fishman voice
Salutations, do you time to talk about the lord? . . . that’s okay kids, more in heaven for us.
God I love Venture Bros. Returns June 1st!!
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:01 PM PDT
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Or not
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN5BRwkdqWw&eurl=http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36500
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:08 PM PDT
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Oh man
I shouldn’t have watched that, the wait is even more unbearable now!
The poster formerly known as Matt.
by bluemax on
Apr 27, 2008 12:21 PM PDT
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Which begs the question
Who would you rather build a deck for? Eliza or King Felix?
Free Barry Bonds
by thejew4u on Apr 27, 2008 12:00 PM PDT 0 recs
Eliza
Felix can stare at a tree and make it build itself.
by Jeff on
Apr 27, 2008 12:01 PM PDT
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All Hail the King!
Today he shall smote the A’s.
Go Nova
by dbroncos31 on Apr 27, 2008 12:00 PM PDT 0 recs
I love sunday day games!
They are the only games I get to watch in real time when I am at work up here in Prudhoe Bay.
by thewyrm on Apr 27, 2008 12:00 PM PDT 0 recs
Whats it like up there
I’ve always wanted to drive the Dalton Highway.
by Robert on
Apr 27, 2008 12:07 PM PDT
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Not too bad right now
Actualy 18 degrees today. Starting to warm up.
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:10 PM PDT
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It's a nice mostly sunny 84 here
was supposed to be around 95 today, but thank Felix it’s not.
by thenatural on
Apr 27, 2008 12:55 PM PDT
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Asshole
:) Just three more weeks and I can go home.
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:59 PM PDT
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I once got in a argument with a co-worker that was attending a seminary school
by saying that my God (Felix) was ten times the God that his was.
by Robert on Apr 27, 2008 12:01 PM PDT 0 recs
In regards to praying for wins
Felix has 100 times the track record God does. Felix gets things done that Gods has trouble with.
by JI on
Apr 27, 2008 12:03 PM PDT
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The stats prove it
Felix already has more career wins.
by Fett42 on
Apr 27, 2008 12:12 PM PDT
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The two things that have confused my spirtuality the most over the least 10 years
Matchups of:
Randy Johnson v. Mark McGwire
Randy Johnson v. Jim Edmonds
I won’t know what to do if I ever see Felix v. Pujols
by JI on
Apr 27, 2008 12:16 PM PDT
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May the power of the Anti-Virus (Greg Norton) be with you
"I've seen many, many blue skies turn gray, but the sun will eventually return, and so will I. So will I." - Carlos Pena
by R.J. Anderson on Apr 27, 2008 12:03 PM PDT 0 recs
Norton did to the A's
what his name-sake did to my computer.
by JI on
Apr 27, 2008 12:07 PM PDT
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Rays lead Boston 1-0 in the 5th
going for the sweep.
James Shields is good.
by Jeff on Apr 27, 2008 12:04 PM PDT 0 recs
That 15 year old better slow it down
once you get that tramp label, it can be hard to live down.
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:17 PM PDT
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As long as you are willing to admit
that watching the Rays makes you “that guy.” Pervert.
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:20 PM PDT
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I feel
that I am missing something here…
The poster formerly known as Matt.
by bluemax on
Apr 27, 2008 12:23 PM PDT
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You're not fooling anyone
embrace your awesome perversion.
by Jeff on
Apr 27, 2008 12:24 PM PDT
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ONE OF YOU
ONE OF YOU
ONE OF YOU
ONE OF YOU
ONE OF YOU
ONE OF YOU
by JI on
Apr 27, 2008 12:26 PM PDT
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Ok, you got me
I’ll take Rays away to a place no one can judge us for our love!
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:28 PM PDT
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A major politician
just had a scandal where he had sex with a 15 year old girl. The guy is pretty old, maybe around 50 I think. Anyway, there were some people who were upset, but all the other politicians stood up for him saying “he didn’t do anything illegal.”
by brayden04 on
Apr 27, 2008 12:34 PM PDT
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Up here in Alaska
as long as he/she is 16 it is legal.
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:44 PM PDT
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State of Alaska Age of Consent law
At 16 years of age you become sexually independant unless the older party in the relationship has a position of power or authority over the juvenile, in which case the age becomes 18. You don’t have to think too hard to figure out why we have the highest incidents of rape, domestic abuse, and fetal alcahol syndrome per capita in the nation. We got problems.
by thewyrm on
Apr 27, 2008 12:56 PM PDT
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I think in WA
16 is ok if you are 4 or less years olders. So you can hook up with a 16 year old if you are 20. Hey, speaking of which, is Corco around?
by Fin on
Apr 27, 2008 12:54 PM PDT
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Yeah the Romeo and Juliet laws
I don’t know why I know this. Honest.
by brayden04 on
Apr 27, 2008 12:55 PM PDT
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I swear on my life I was
reading an article about this somewhere lately. But for the life of me I just can’t remember where it is.
by brayden04 on
Apr 27, 2008 1:04 PM PDT
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That's a whole lotta swearing on your life.
Sure you want your life riding on this?
by butthol on
Apr 27, 2008 1:05 PM PDT
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hmmm....
Ok, you’re right. I swear on your life I read about this somewhere lately. And for the life of you I can’t remember where it is.
by brayden04 on
Apr 27, 2008 1:10 PM PDT
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You could probably be the alcohol supplier
At a high school party, you could probably get plenty of high school tail that way.
by Fin on
Apr 27, 2008 12:57 PM PDT
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Hah, loser.
I’m 20, but look 25/26 (thank God for the beard). The first time I was carded for anything, ever, was at the movie theater of all places a couple weeks ago.
by Liebkartoffel on
Apr 27, 2008 12:58 PM PDT
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I got kicked out of Safeco on Friday night for providing to a minor
Originally the cop thought I was the minor…
by Robert on
Apr 27, 2008 1:00 PM PDT
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Extreme drunkeness
made more obvious by the fact that I voicing my disapproval of our right fielder.
by Robert on
Apr 27, 2008 1:08 PM PDT
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Dude, when you are drunk
Just chill there, that’s what I have to do. Plus I guess when I grow stuble it makes me look a couple years older than I am so as long as I don’t get IDed Im ok.
by Fin on
Apr 27, 2008 1:09 PM PDT
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And keeping with the out-of-town theme
CC Sabathia seems to be fine.
by Jeff on Apr 27, 2008 12:05 PM PDT 0 recs
Just wondering
Hey Jeff I don’t mean to be nosey but….. I’ve been reading the site for a couple of years and I really don’t know much about yourself or any of the other "managers" of the site. Is there a bio section that I’m missing that would answer some of my questions? How did you guys acquire your baseball knowledge? Why are you a Mariner fan? What are you doing in California, etc…
by coasty141 on Apr 27, 2008 12:18 PM PDT 0 recs
It's actually one person with five internet personalities.
by JI on
Apr 27, 2008 12:20 PM PDT
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I would enjoy a "What am I wearing right now" feature
by Fett42 on
Apr 27, 2008 12:21 PM PDT
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My profile bio is pretty accurate
I was born in San Diego and became a Mariners fan because (A) rooting for the home team is too easy, and (B) I have an uncle in Seattle who wasn’t weird and a little crazy when I started liking sports. If it weren’t for the old Texas Rangers ESPN message board, I may not be who I am today, because it was Adam Morris (now he writes Lone Star Ball) who introduced me to Baseball Prospectus, which put me on the road to knowledge. Ironically I now consider BP to be a little behind the times.
by Jeff on
Apr 27, 2008 12:28 PM PDT
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I was rushed
I don’t have time to be hilariously dishonest when I’m in a hurry.
by Jeff on
Apr 27, 2008 12:32 PM PDT
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wait, this bio?
Jeff Sullivan is the modern-day descendant of a mutant family that has latent superhuman powers. Following an electrical accident, Sullivan finds himself transported into a parallel Earth where the Allies lost WW II and the Japanese rule America. After fighting the Japanese, Sullivan meets other members of his dimension-spanning family who teach him how to use his powers. He then returns to his Earth to fight crime.
by Matthew on
Apr 27, 2008 12:34 PM PDT
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Jeff Sullivan
Jeff Sullivan is an intelligent and emotionally troubled teenager who sleepwalks, and experiences visual hallucinations possibly because of his schizophrenia (which he takes medication for), and is in the medical care of a psychiatrist. One night, a jet engine from a commercial aircraft falls into Jeff’s bedroom. He avoids death only because prior to the accident, he had obeyed a voice in his head that led him to sleepwalk outside of his room. The voice is that of Gomez, an apparently imaginary friend in a man-sized rabbit costume. At midnight on October 2, Frank prophesies to Jeff that the end of the world will occur in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.
Later, Jeff begins seeing “silvery plastic gel” spears that flow out from people’s chests. Such a spear indicates where a person will travel in the near future. In one example, Jeff sees one spear snake into the room, followed by his younger sister skipping through the room. Another spear leads Jeff to a pistol in his parents’ closet, which he takes and keeps.
Meanwhile, Gomez instructs Jeff to perform acts which provoke certain chains of events:
- Jeff is instructed to flood his high school, which ends up giving him the opportunity to court his new classmate, Brent Lillibridge.
- Jeff is intrigued by Gomez to pursue the question of time travel, so he starts a conversation with his science teacher. The teacher gives him the book “Juiced” by Jose Canseco, an old man known as “Grandma Death” among the neighborhood youth. The book explains the scenario that Jeff is going through.
- Jeff burns down the house of a motivational speaker he ridiculed at a school assembly, thereby exposing the speaker’s secret “kiddie porn dungeon”. The speaker’s arrest begins a series of events that results in Jeff’s mother chaperoning Jeff’s younger sister and her dance group on a flight to Star Search in Los Angeles.
by butthol on
Apr 27, 2008 12:56 PM PDT
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I was just reading this wiki page like three days ago
by Jeff on
Apr 27, 2008 12:58 PM PDT
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Damn.
Do I get applauded anyway for the editing labor?
by butthol on
Apr 27, 2008 12:59 PM PDT
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