4/1: Open Felix Day Game Thread, Part 2
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:00 PM PDT
in Seattle Mariners Game Threads
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PrintOne time Vicente Padilla's pitching tempo raced a glacier and won by default when his adversary melted.
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Padilla supports global warming?
Yuni... coulda gone home there?
this would be a shitty time
for another stupid michael young overrated hit.
yay defense!
Man, these first two games have been brutal for defense.
Texas is throwing out a 5 Kata defense, and the M's look about 3-3.5 (a new statistic based on expected runs allowed if Matt Kata played that number of positions; it's an exponential scale).
I kept hoping that the M's DER would regress to the mean, in large part because Graham told me it would. I'm still waiting.
Damn it. Eh, I guess if I was Felix I'd rather face Hamilton too.
Krusty the Klown Klassics?
wait.... oooooh... that's not good
by JI on Apr 1, 2008 8:07 PM PDT up reply actions
And no, not the stupid game gets messed up jinx.
Just the whole 'career gets messed up' one.
Favor the Bold
Is it just me....
or has Felix put that stupid slider away? It's a good pitch, but he falls behind with it too much.
Save it for special occasions when you want to embarrass someone.
You are wrong.
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
by EnglishMariner on Apr 1, 2008 8:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Bet you want a nice cold one after that choke, huh Hamilton?
C'mon, what's the worst that can happen...
Nice pitching so far.
Also an excellent display as to why ERA/Wins are bullshit metrics for evaluating performance.
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
The only thing I haven't like from Felix so far
Were those two high fastballs to Hamilton....but they did strike him out, so no harm no foul.
The rest of it, no problem at all, almost perfect.
Minimal Damage
On what could have been really ugly. Felix is mixing his pitches much better then he was last year.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:09 PM PDT reply actions
I was bad at my job yesterday because I didn't do any work
I should've mentioned that
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I only speak in the present tense
quit living in the past.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Is that Cha Seung Baek's cousin?
(I know his family name is Baek, it's a joke)
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, keep complaining, Richie
You have that stellar reputation of not striking out to uphold.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
damn fine pitch.
not mad at richie for that one
That was low.
Not for a normal person, but still BS.
That was low.
Not for a normal person, but still BS.
I HATE MLB.TV
FUCKING FUCK FUCK
why doesn't the sound work. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DAMN ANNOYING THINGS when i try to tab between monitors????!?!?!
FUCK FUCK
I guess I am not meant to watch Felix Day. I will now kill terrorists on my xbox instead.
My computer is fine
my patience and internet connection are not.
Padilla + Beltre at bat =
Dark spot on the crotch area of Padilla's trousers
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
Well...
It's a small sample size, but I guess we can give credit to Johnny Mac's staff for at least telling the guys walking was probably a pretty good idea.
I doubt it was anyone on the staff
It would take Baseball Jesus to get through these guys' skulls.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 8:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Given LSBs obsession with gays,
I'm not surprised.
I will kill you and dance in your blood
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:16 PM PDT up reply actions
I knew it was a typo as soon as I hit "post"
thanks for nothing, preview button.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:21 PM PDT up reply actions
i got halfway excited
about that ball off the bat.
then i remembered it was tub of lard that hit it.
...and that hot dogs are lucky, not strong.
and went to grab another beer.
At least he's got that flavor savor
And he's the heart of the team!
by Smegmalicious on Apr 1, 2008 8:18 PM PDT up reply actions
"You'll find out" about the Moose
Gives Raul a step up over Wilkerson.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 8:18 PM PDT up reply actions
It's not a big step
Wilkerson just needs one scripted deadpan to compete.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 8:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Pitching line of the day
8ip 1h 1r 1bb 0k (Garland)
Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!
oops
6h... typo
Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!
fucking love that commercial.
so damn funny.
Too bad it'll only be around for a half a season
Since they'll cut Richie
by Smegmalicious on Apr 1, 2008 8:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Low upside stop gap is
low on the upside.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:17 PM PDT reply actions
If I have to say something good about Washburn
He's a damn good actor.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
what the fuck Felix? Bad!
roof close, might finally see a Ms XBH?
Your powers are weak old man.
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
by EnglishMariner on Apr 1, 2008 8:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Not too weak to have you Coach'd
by which I mean killed by an assortment of stone tools, delivered on foot.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions
If they were in before it closed, the comment box is still up.
It's only refreshes that kill the box.
Too many high fastballs = Too many flyballs
Cut it out Felix.
more FB's
I liked the GB's better, but whatev
why would wilkerson
go after any fly ball in right-center?
ICHIRO! would kick him in the chest if he got near his ball. and probably do it while catching said ball.
hes that good.
Here comes RED SOX NATIONAHHH!
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
I'm sure they *sold* a ton of tickets...
It was cold as shit yesterday, there's no way I'd go today without arctic gear.
by Smegmalicious on Apr 1, 2008 8:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, but don't forget to leave the house without your purse, Sally.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:25 PM PDT up reply actions
I had a bird's eye view of the snowballs
It was crappy but I was kept warm by our awesome rally.
by Smegmalicious on Apr 1, 2008 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Maybe There is a Sellout
and half of them decided not to show.
Seattlites are kind of pussified, in that sort of way.
And by 'Seattlites' you mean scalpers
;P Bad day to try and hawk tickets, with it being so cold and all.
When Vicente Padilla has sex and needs to slow down
he thinks about Vicente Padilla
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:26 PM PDT up reply actions
considering his pitching pace
how does he ever need to slow down at anything?
The GTE is getting out of hand.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Looking at the replay,
in that error by Felix, he never touched 1st base.
Man this suck
Yesterday I worked til 5 and missed most of Bedard's debut. Today I'm still at work and'll miss most if not all of Felix's debut. And probably worst of all tomorrow I'll probably be at work til 9 as well and will have to miss Silva's debut! Life sucks
http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com
Why run up the bill?
A plastic bag will do.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
On my way across state to Safeco
on one of the many bridges I crossed I saw a sign that said "NO JUMPING FROM BRIDGE $250 FINE"
by JI on Apr 1, 2008 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions
People have tried
but watching the video made them kill themselves.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
No.
It's an elaborate April Fool's joke. It never happened.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Is that what this game? All of the infielders are wearing their shoes on the wrong feet?
And when this wraps, they'll come out and play the real game?
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions
fuck my DVR
and fuck colbert report/family guy
just switched off the game out of nowhere for that shit.
my tivo did that for dancing with the stars
I am on the phone with customer support as soon as I get a soul
McLusterfuck obviously didn't drill situational hitting into his head enough.
Lopez needs more drilling.
Refuse to progress!!
I don't care if Wlad never gets on base
This lineup needs some power. Badly.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
The only other alternative is to clone Adrian Beltre
I don't have a problem with that either.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions
So from what I can gather the only reason Felix gave up a run...
...is because of his own damn throwing error. Si o no?
How has he looked otherwise?
C'mon you guys have to bring me up to speed.
Affirmative
otherwise he's looked pretty good. Nothing spectacular, but generally keeping the ball on the ground.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Which phrase better epitomizes defensive immobility?
"Past a diving Sexson" or "past a diving Jeter?"
Oh, and thanks again Richie.
Past a full-on sprinting Ibanez
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions
well done Richie
if you must suck at the plate (which you do)
at least dont blow baboon balls in the field.
do us that small favor. jackass.
Maybe that could be phrased better
Or I've been spending too much time on the internet and it's warped my mind.
by Smegmalicious on Apr 1, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions
We should all start using the preview button more
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Someone tell Big Richie he needs to look at the ball
Maybe that's his problem...he's scared to make eye contact with the ball...
Bucky is telling the guy in the barstool next to him
that he could have done that too.
NO MORE FIRST PITCH MEATBALLS
Refuse to progress!!
YES YES YES YES
That quickly went from, "I hate life," to "fuck my pussy!"
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
Price of oil per barrel?
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions
and you call yourself a man?
You don't deserve Felix
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:43 PM PDT up reply actions
can we just take the 'I' out of his name
it would be a more accurate description
--Dave
Addicted to Quack, SBN's Oregon Ducks blog
Is there a reason we don't call him Manbearpig?
Too unoriginal? Because damned if it doesn't describe his look perfectly.
That was a big moment right there
Now lets fucking capitalize on it
FUCK Sexson.
He is certainly not THE MAN.
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
I WANT YOU TO ATTEMPT TO ANALLY IMPREGNATE ME
by Robert on Apr 1, 2008 8:42 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
This is why we can't have people over.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:46 PM PDT up reply actions
This is why we can't have nice things.
Because people have sex with them.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 8:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Ahh...Raul
Raul and Sexson 3 and 4. I wonder just how hard the other teams laugh at that in their meetings before playing the Mariners.
Don't worry guys!
It's the heart of our order!
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
Grah Richie...
Is it too much to ask for an extra base hit?
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:44 PM PDT reply actions
Hey, just in time for the good part.
Here's hoping Padilla gets shelled. ^_^
*Visiting Angels fan* Never give up, never surrender!
if a K happens
Safeco is going to implode
whoa. little slap hit single. how bout that?
Who says Richie's batspeed is declining?
...
Refuse to progress!!
So we're stuck with him now for an other month I guess?
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
Even when Richie gets a single
He gets them swinging at shitty pitches to hit.
Forget the small sample.
.167/.167/.167 is probably Richie's line through September, too.
He walked yesterday
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions
dont you fucking date try to run
with Richie, Mac. I will cut you.
I'm too old to read the board this fast
use smaller words or symbols.
There's pretty much a one digit symbol that sums everything up...
Too bad that digit isn't on the standard qwerty keyboard. Well, it is, but isn't a key.
Oh Christ
The Rally Fries...
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:47 PM PDT reply actions
Rally fries are ssssssssooooooooooooo 2007
Refuse to progress!!
FUCK KENNY LOFTON
wait...huh?
Refuse to progress!!
Josh Hamilton
you're on the Lofton shit list now.
That wasn't going to be a home run
and Hamilton hasn't done anything obnoxious at the plate so far.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Alien guy from Robot Chicken
DAMMIT
DAMMIT
DAMMIT!
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:49 PM PDT reply actions
heroin is a hell of a drug
but i thought it was supposed to slow you down?
fuck you hamilton! YOURE A PHONY!!! A GREAT BIG PHONY!
That girl near the bottom looks scared shitless.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Not shown:
corn from whence the children came
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Felix doing his best to help the team
by trying to break Richie's wrist. All hail the King.
Refuse to progress!!
I like how people reached their gloves over the wall
to catch that Wilerson popout
oh my god i've missed the whole fucking game
because i put fucking pure cap on my balls holy shit wat a bad decision.
i lost a bet for the record and oh god it hurts
Go Nova
pure cap is wat they make hot sauce out of
like 3 drops makes 3 gallons and i put 6 drops on my balls
i am currently wearing an icepack
Go Nova
Not over the SONIC BOOM
The man's a hypersonic freight train out of hell.
Well, there's my XBH
I asked for it.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 8:53 PM PDT reply actions
Is the honeymoon phase over already?
:(
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions
get out of this nonsense
Felix.
do it for royalty everywhere.
DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS
Refuse to progress!!
Sims is looking for DP
But he mispelled, looked up CP, and now he's taking a ride in the FBI party van.
No he missed the plate...
couldn't see it from the other angle
Dave Sims:
Felix looking for the DP, but he hangs in there and gets the bang banger.
...
i love bad calls when they go the Ms way
they make me do a happy dance.
Wow this game is frustrating for both sides.
Refuse to progress!!
WEEEEEEE
SCORE SOME GODDAM RUNS YOU DISEASED VAGINAS!
"Felix trying to get out of a very sticky situation"
EnglishMariner trying to get into one.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 8:59 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Dodged Another Bullet
The M's need to start taking advantage of all of those baserunners or we're going to lose this one.
I clicked on that hoping it was a mind-fuck rickroll...
And now I'm a bit dissapointed...
I've never seen that before
I love it so much more than rally fries.
In fact - I hope someone gets some rally secret in their rally fries.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions
See what happens
When Felix gets angry? You don't want to see him angry.
I think this is what we can expect all year
Our offense not doing much, but our pitching keeping us in the game.
Interleague play
Felix Hernandez
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions
Don't blame the ump because you suck
Refuse to progress!!
they are fucking horrible.
i honestly feel bad for giants fans. their team defines "inept"
Go over to McCovey Chronicles
It's like reading an autobiography
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 9:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Correction: 15
Houston's on the board, so their streak is over...
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Actually, I take it back.
Bases loaded with nobody out, they almost certainly score here...
*Visiting Angels fan* Never give up, never surrender!
An easy Deuce....
always makes your day just a little bit better.
why don't you and your ebola monkey just leave then?
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 9:07 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm sending Robert to your bedroom with mayonnaise and a mop handle
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Okay, between the mayonnaise and the man sex
This game thread is worth of CHUGGO and his hit rap single AHHH COME ON FUCK A GUY
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 9:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Well good thing
we have a relentless lineup 1-9.
Refuse to progress!!
If you have Eddie Guardado lying on his back
and you suspend Jose Vidro directly above him, and you place an object in the air between them, it will hover.
I'm like Daniel Tosh
I start out with mass appeal, but by the end only like two guys know what the fuck I'm talking about.
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 9:09 PM PDT up reply actions
I don't know about that
But whatever it is, it will be covered in Cheeto dust.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 9:09 PM PDT up reply actions
What if that object is Ray King?
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
by JLC on Apr 1, 2008 9:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Taking pitches is only good if
you MASH THE MEATBALLS EARLY IN THE COUNT
Refuse to progress!!
So let us reestablish the Jose Lopez Three True Outcomes
1.) Weak pop-up to the infield/foul
2.) Bloop single
3.) Rare, inexplicable home run
why do i have the feeling...
that this will be a 19 inning game?
I have a bad feeling about this game...
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
Sims: Our Banner Bank Building To The Future
Sims:
Pause. No graphic.
Sims:
I half expected him to reply, "There is no future."
ALL MARINERS PITCHERS CAN PITCH 139 PITCHES PER GAME
Because that's old school. Even the relievers.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Kinsler tried to bunt and Felix's fastball caught a finger
but it also hit the bat, so strike one!
by Jeff Sullivan on Apr 1, 2008 9:13 PM PDT up reply actions
yeah
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
OUT!!
A lucky one but we'll take it
Refuse to progress!!
he didn't mean an award, he meant and actual
glove made of gold, better to destroy chinamen with.
rack em'
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
ok...
i
is that allowed? the sly way to type i "heart" you? no good?
Welcome to the Felix Hernandez Show!
Refuse to progress!!
Felix would rather be lucky then good.
My goodness.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Apr 1, 2008 9:15 PM PDT reply actions
Maybe Felix should play first on his off days...
He can't hit any worse than Sexson, he won't have to throw enough for it to matter, and it would confuse the hell out of the rest of the league.
If I was an AL Pitcher
I would have it in my contract that I would get to DH once every year. And on those starts, I would have the biggest streaks of eye black ever seen.
by Jordan of Boise on Apr 1, 2008 9:17 PM PDT up reply actions
San Fran
first run of the season!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
Felix is impressing me in all the wrong ways.
I want more Boston one-hitters.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
How is it
that Felix survives a 100+ mph line drive and he's the one laughing while we muddy our trousers?
Now for the love of christ....
Somebody hit a funk blast
Cue MLB 2K7 Joe Morgan
Spiel about Pitcher's Fielding Practice
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
Yeah short-term memory caused by GTE!!!
Who cares if the only reason he gave up a run was his poor D. HE SHOULD WIN THE GOLD GLOVE!!!!
Bah...
Rangers aren't good enough to beat y'all without getting some luck. So far, it seems like it's been almost all on your side....blah.
Get ready for EddieG!
If we win this game
I will be very glad.
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
no
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
HOLY JEEBUS
Fields his own double-play on top of that.
Score some runs you jerks.
(And holy crap, I've been trying to post this for the last 5 minutes)
Fuck, it sounds like I've missed some shit
I left work at 7:50 and just got back in front of a TV. Plus, I have no AM in my car right now (piece of shit...). I dread re-reading the game threads
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
I'm beginning to have disdain for this Hamilton fellow.
Refuse to progress!!
"first overall pick in '99. that was by tampa"
and then....he tried heroin.
Rizzs, no saying "belted"
unless someone just homered. You got me slightly excited for no good reason.
by Two Rs and Two Ls on Apr 1, 2008 9:21 PM PDT reply actions
SWING HARDER SEXSON
IT WON'T LOOK EMBARRASSING WHEN YOU TRY TO OVER COMPENSATE
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
goddamit guys
just win. Can't lose a game like this.
Deceptively...
like, only 20% of the crowd realizes it or deceptively like he keeps finding new ways?
Even Blowers can taste the upcoming funk blast
yeah, I'm not going to bother to rewrite that.
Previously NoNameX -- Go M's!
McLaren Beltre's biggest fan?
He just made another man's shit list.
Refuse to progress!!
get this guy a tennis racket
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
hahahahaha
Beltre swings at a pitch at his shoes, and then does the crazy legs dance after an ill-advised turn for 2nd. He is so much fun.
Lets hope that was the trouble threat
and now comes the easy runs threat.
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