Updated: I will probably regret this, but... I WON (so I don't)!!
by thejew4u on Apr 22, 2008 8:58 PM PDT
Email
PrintI got a call from the Mariners today... I won! Will be on top of the M's Dugout with the Moose and a camera crew on Friday to lead the stretch.
Sadly I don't get much freedom of wardrobe - they're giving me a Bullpen Jacket to wear and if I wear a hat it has to be an M's one... Something tells me writing "SIGN BONDS" on said hat with a sharpie will not be permitted. I really don't think shouting it at the end will end well, either... I have an image in my head of Safeco Field erupting in boos and the M's front office using that event as justification not to sign him.
I know you guys voted for me with the stipulation I do that, but I just don't think I have it in me. I'm open to other, slightly more subtle ideas though.
Apparently I'm in a contest on the Mariners site. Got drunk at the 2nd game of the season and sang Take Me Out to the Ball Game for a camera, and now there's some online voting going on for who gets to sing it at next Friday's game against the A's. I only found out it was part of a contest when the bartender at Rock Bottom (my usual Tuesday night spot) told me he'd seen me in a commercial during Tuesday's matinee.
Anwyay, I finally tracked down the details and it's at www.mariners.com/ballgame. I'll be the first to admit I can't sing, but the opportunity to be on the field during an M's game is a little too much to pass up - even if it means taking some shit from all of you ;-) So how about it... Help out a fellow LL'er and throw a sympathy vote or several my way? I know how good this group is at ballot box stuffing... If I win I'll try to show some love by wearing an LL shirt or something.
If you take the time to vote (I'm Brendan, the first one on the left, btw), I really appreciate it - so thank you. I'll let y'all know how this thing turns out as soon as I hear about the results.
Holy shit, I could be on the field during a Mariners game.
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I hate that commercial.
But I voted for yeah anyways. It’s a good thing you aren’t that asian guy or I would of voted for everybody but you because he’s the worst in that commercial.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
You sound like Steve Guttenberg
I mean that as a compliment
by Last Fan Of Jose Lopez on Apr 18, 2008 5:37 PM PDT reply actions
OK I'll spam the voting
but you gotta yell out ‘sign bonds’
the artist formerly known as Mere Tantalisers.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 18, 2008 6:09 PM PDT reply actions
YES!
Yell out SIGN BONDS after you finish the song.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
Thirded.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Apr 18, 2008 6:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Cueto'd
the artist formerly known as Mere Tantalisers.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 18, 2008 6:24 PM PDT up reply actions
I also voted for you
with the understanding that you will shout out sign bonds at the end.
also your voice really isnt that bad (but I’ve been drinking, now)
It would take a
HUGE amount of balls to do this, considering you’d be banned from the stadium forever and the fact that everyone else there holds the completely opposite sentiment.
Banned forever?
I could probably talk it down to just this game, on the premise that I thought the mic was off and I was just joking around. If not… Man, that would BLOW.
What about a T-Shirt? Think they’d let me wear a shirt that said that?
Free Barry Bonds
Probably not.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
You won't get banned forever
I once hit an ESPN analyst live on the head with a thrown mitt in the pregame for Game 3 of the 2002 World Series. (it was an accident, was trying to throw it straight up in front of the camera). We escaped security but came back after the game to get it back (it was a birthday gift). They yelled at us alot but couldn’t kick us out since the game was over and there was no talk about banning.
Tell me about it
Secretly I’m hoping her and I tie and get to sing it together.
Free Barry Bonds
wait wait
hold it. Which of those five jews are you?
the artist formerly known as Mere Tantalisers.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 18, 2008 7:06 PM PDT reply actions
Not a bad way to look at it!
Thanks!
Free Barry Bonds
Dude, you rock!
I voted for you before I even watched the video. Then I watched it and I’m glad you say Cracker Jack. Most idiots say Cracker JackS, which always pisses me off. Good luck!
Yep
Just watched the other videos. Everyone else said Cracker Jacks. Surprise, surprise. That Asian guy is crazy and man, those kids are annoying…
by ConorGlassey on Apr 18, 2008 7:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Haha... Thanks!
The damn kids didn’t say “Root Root Root for the Mariners” either. They failed TWICE. Since there are 2 of them, that’s 4 fails!
Free Barry Bonds
You got my vote
but in exchange, you have to beatbox it instead of singing it.
But I’ve already voted, so I guess my request doesn’t mean much.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
I voted for you
even though the last time I signed in and unchecked the “you can send me ads at will” box, it took me months to get rid of them.
Just don’t let the annoying kids (redundant) win.
why did you use a real email address?
I always use abcd@efgh.com in these situations, works like a charm.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
Agreed.
Actually, it’s nice to have several. You can then decide different levels of junkiness and check the email addresses that might have something relevant.
I have three.
And five real email addresses…. And one semi-side project work one.
yeah… :(.
...and now I'm here
I Was Initially Going To Vote for You
But the double negative really made me stop and consider all the other choices.
Lie gets obligatory condition for being the only do-able candidate, but with a name like that, can we really trust her to say, “sign Bonds” at the end of the song?
So, if you’re drunk, is Dennis pissed drunk or simply a dork? I’m going with the latter.
I hate little kids. So, pass on those two.
Linda is something out of my nightmares. Pass
After thoughtful consideration, I voted for you using my fake AOL screenname.
by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on Apr 18, 2008 11:31 PM PDT reply actions
Hilarious.
Got my vote.
I didn’t listen to the other 4 because two were women and one was a couple of kids. I can only imagine how whiny they would sound.
You've got my vote
And I’d like to hear a “Sign Bonds” at the end please/thank you.
Or if you want to walk the less dangerous route, Free Jeff Clement/Wlad would do nicely.
I'm conflicted.
See, I’d like to vote for you, as my Jewish brethren. But Lie is cute, AND a Mariner fan AND wears a hat, AND we have a friend in common on facebook.
But then I saw she owns a Pomeranian. So Jew Pride it is.
...and now I'm here
Oooh
I was thinking about voting for her too… mostly because she’s the best singer of the group. I was totally not even thinking about her “doability”. Really, I wasn’t. But as soon as you mentioned Pomeranian… she was toast. Plus she’s from Bothell. Bothell sucks.
Some random Asian guy
doing a terrible Jimmy Durante impression is significantly less awesome than I thought it would be, he needs to be shot.
Linda's hot.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Apr 19, 2008 9:05 AM PDT reply actions
I voted for you, bitch.
And to think, I could have chosen to support the Yankees or Red Sox...
by EnglishMariner on Apr 19, 2008 12:56 PM PDT reply actions
I say this with all seriousness, dude
You’re easily head and shoulders above those other choices. I definitely voted for you.
Nice!
You should do some sign language while you’re singing.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Apr 22, 2008 9:15 PM PDT reply actions
That's awesome
you should make sure you have an M’s hat with a gray underbill, and write “SIGN BONDS” in black sharpie on it and just as the song reaches the end, lean your head back like you’re belting out Stairway To Heaven, and the whole world (at least the M’s part of it) will see the message on the underside of the hat.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
That's not a bad idea
Not bad at all. Time to go look for a hat…
Free Barry Bonds
Write Sign Bonds on your undershirt and tear off the jacket
Or just yell it… this isn’t about you, its about the Mariners… sack up.
If I thought it would change some minds
Sure, you bet I’d do it. But when I do something that overt and get booed by 45,000 people who disagree with us, the M’s FO is going to use it as Case A for not signing him. I’m thinking more about something with lookoutlanding.com on it… If I can use this as a vehicle to drive visitors to the site, maybe they’ll read the analysis here and start to drink the koolaid with the rest of us.
Free Barry Bonds
A. There won't be 45000 people at the game.
B. Who gives a fuck if they boo you? They’re idiots anyways. Fuck them.
C.The Mariners aren’t going to sign him regardless. But you should still do it.
D.A deal’s a deal. We got you in. You better do it.
E.Don’t puss out, just do it.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
Ichiro bobblehead night
last few years I’ve gone as part of an alumni network thing, it’s always a near-sellout. Bobbleheads are dumb, but people sure seem to love ‘em.
Free Barry Bonds
Eh?
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
Errr nm, just read through some of the parts of the game thread that I missed.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
You're no fun.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
GTE of the week:
"SEXSON WANTS TO TASTE THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB"
~Jordan of Boise
I'm sure the Moostapo spies are already aware of the "Sign Bonds" plan
and they’ll have a kill switch at the ready should it look like you’re about to go off the script
You should still do it though. It is pretty rare for a fan to have the chance to be heard.
Well, don't get yourself banned from the park
I’d feel bad about that.
"So its root root root for the Maaaariners....
...if they don’t sign Bonds its a shame! Coz its ONE! TWO! THREE strikes…..etc.”
by sandalfan on Apr 22, 2008 10:31 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
YES!
absofuckinglutely, Else, write Bonds 4 DH on your pants or something. The message needs to get out there.
the artist formerly known as Mere Tantalisers.
by Bearskin Rugburn on Apr 23, 2008 10:12 AM PDT up reply actions
Say, "SIGN FRANK FUCKING THOMAS!"
Emphasis on “fucking.”
by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on Apr 23, 2008 2:00 AM PDT reply actions
Totally.
As much as we all fantasize about spreading “the message”, it’s not often that “one of us” gets a chance to do something this cool. Do you get a video of it?
I would, however, point you towards the mighty, superawesome Craig Finn for some pointers on how to rock Take Me Out To The Ballgame.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
That's AWESOME
Thanks for the link. I’m still looking for ways to spread the message, just with a little more subtlety.
Free Barry Bonds
Agree...
but if you wanted to do something, make up a shirt that says I spend my days at LookoutLanding.com.
Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!
by MfaninAlaska on Apr 23, 2008 9:45 AM PDT up reply actions
I approve of this.
Only the back should read: “And my nights there too.”
...and now I'm here
Yeah - I'm going to go with MfaninAlaska's suggestion:
Get a shirt that says “lookoutlanding.com” – May as well plug the site that plugged you.
...and now I'm here
I could maybe do it unzipped
And give LL the plug. Absolutely down for that.
Free Barry Bonds
The key question here is...
Do you get to keep the bullpen jacket as a memento?
Seriously—If I can find the cojones to stand up in a crowd of players’ family members 22 rows behind home plate and yell “FRA-ANK THO-MAS” with every Jose Vidro plate appearance, you can find the cojones to make good your promise to the community here…
Otherwise, well, prepare to be treated like Clay Bennett. Or David Stern…
Ill Ligitamus Non Carberendum
Yeah, they're letting me keep it
So at least I have that going for me. Would you be ok with the LL plug as a consolation for not yelling SIGN BONDS and getting 86’d?
Free Barry Bonds
Write "Sign Bonds"
on your knuckles, and point your fists at the camera. Piece of cake
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
So, what are we gonna see tonight?
Rick Astley? Sign Bonds? Shameless LL plugging?
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