Holy shit this is awesome.
Via FJM:
This is quite possibly the worst thing even written.
Enjoy!
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31 comments
Comments
Jesus Tapdancing Christ
This is so bad that at first glance I would think that only a top-notch satirist could write it.
I love how he treats something as basic as OPS as--actually nevermind, I'm off ot read FJM on this.
by Fett42 on Apr 10, 2008 8:11 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Bwahahahahaha(From FJM)
DIPS (Don’t Ask),
What'd you call me? You're a DIPS!
QERA (Quantified Earned Run Average),
That looks like "queer!" Heh heh heh heh heh!
Also, blockquote is acting weird. I've tried to use it a few times and it's only putting the first line of anything in quotes.
Felix Hernandez may be The King, but Justin Upton is a GOD.
by Goose on Apr 10, 2008 8:20 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Oh, the joys of Cognitive Dissonance.
Hey, I know a lot about baseball! Eh, what's this? VORP? OPS? Shit I have to look up? Hey, maybe I'm not as smart as I though I--no, fuck no. I'm going to justify my failure to adjust to a new paradigm by dismissing said paradigm's relative importance, thereby reducing my feelings of inadequacy. Statistics are just some numbers that nerds came up with to prove how superior they are, what with their computers and pocket-protectors and such. I feel threatened by displays of intelligence and will attempt to deflect attention from my shortcomings. Hey, stay away from sports, you pencil-pushing nancy-boys!
by Liebkartoffel on Apr 10, 2008 8:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Lol I have to agree
This guy probably just feels belittled because he can't comprehend all of the numbers the game involves. Its too bad that using these numbers have proven to work, just ask Billy Beane, Theo Epstein, et al.
by Fin on Apr 10, 2008 8:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think Billy Beane and Theo Epstein would prefer the national media to not think their stuff works
I mean, if I was ridiculously good at my job and other people thought I sucked at it, which made my life easier, but I still got paid the same, I'd rather have an easy life and more money
by seattlebruin on Apr 10, 2008 11:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't agree with the article
his character assination of those that are deep into statistical evaluation is just plain wrong and ignorant.
However, and I'm sure I won't make any friends with this, how is his character assination of sabermetricians in his article any different then the attacks that are labeled onto the casual fans that go to games that take place on these blogs all the time? Are those fans truly idiots because they aren't into the sabermetrics of the game?
Seems to me everyone goes up in arms when someone says something negative about sabermetricians but its ok to say things about those that aren't into sabermetrics.
and I don't mean this as an attack on anyone, or want it to be a fight, just something I have noticed over the past few years.
Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!
by MfaninAlaska on Apr 10, 2008 8:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Fortunately hypocrisy doesn't make one wrong
Just an asshole
by Fett42 on Apr 10, 2008 8:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think we tend to be much less belligerent
by Jeff on Apr 10, 2008 9:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think we tend to think along the typical fan lines during games
I mean look at GTE - it's just when we're not playing the games,it's nice to be able to use math to see what helps win games
by seattlebruin on Apr 10, 2008 11:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Are they idiots for not being into sabermetrics? No.
They can be a fans without understanding any of it. But their opinion on anything analytical should rightfully be completely ignored.
Insisting that they're right is what makes them idiots.
by Graham on Apr 11, 2008 2:40 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That I agree with
though I don't think calling them idiots is necessary since most of them come for attention anyways....
I was more referring to the general attacks against the casual fans that go to the games, the ones that do the wave, that cheer when the score board tells them to, that kind of stuff......
like I said, not a big deal just an observation that I've noticed.
Midnight Baseball - No Lights - Only in Alaska!
by MfaninAlaska on Apr 11, 2008 9:11 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I knew the wave was stupid long before sabermetrics.
Casual fan or not, who the fuck does the wave outside of a Mariners game?
Free Barry Bonds
by JI on Apr 11, 2008 9:26 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I did the wave at the WBC one time
by seattlebruin on Apr 11, 2008 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The World Bowling Congress?
That's some dedication, dude.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on Apr 11, 2008 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yup
One of the guys threw like four strikes in a row, what the hell else were we supposed to do?
by seattlebruin on Apr 11, 2008 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I see your point.
I think the big difference, though, is that generally when I make fun of casual fans, it has to do specifically with their actions. I hate it when I'm trying to watch a game and people are doing the wave in front of me, I find it really annoying that the crowd at Safeco is incapable of sustaining applause before a two strike pitch for more than 5 seconds, etc. I totally make fun of people doing these things. And even when people make fun of the more casual/traditionally minded baseball fan in general, it's usually for their lack of knowledge in the area of baseball.
This douchebag (and many others before him, and many others to come,) is basically insinuating that anyone who has an interest in the numbers side of the game is not only wrong (with no evidence to supports this assertion) but is also a pathetic, socially retarded loser, perpetually living in their parent's basement, with no interest in anything other than sabermetrics, making shit up to sound smart. It goes beyond criticizing behavior and becomes mean spirited, defamatory and hateful. I'm not saying that the stat minded crowd doesn't engage in similar behaviors, but I think it happens far, far less than vice versa.
I've talked baseball with a lot of people, and the vast majority of them are less stats minded. We have disagreements, but I don't question their devotion to the game. I'm fine with people having a different outlook on things; I think they're wrong, but I don't think less of them as people because of it. I've talked to people who admit that they're sure I'm right about all this statistical mumbo-jumbo, but it doesn't interest them in the least and it doesn't enhance their enjoyment of the game. I'm cool with that, too. But people who not only refuse to accept a position based on sound reasoning and solid data but make petty, ad hominem attacks against anyone who disagrees with them? That pisses me off, whether we're talking about baseball or anything else out there.
Its such a long way down/Maybe I should try a floor below
A softer landing might just ease the pain
Being a coward is such a drag
by acblue on Apr 11, 2008 11:05 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think the thing about this article (if it's not written in jest) that gets me
is the sheer inability to understand the reason why people try their hand at sabermetrics and trying to create new baseball stats.
Professional baseball teams exist for two reasons, depending on how you feel that day. They exist to 1. Make money and 2. Win baseball games. Sabermetrics as a study is trying to use math to find a better way to do both. Stats like OPS and park factors and the RC formulas were created to figure out who was helping the offense the most. This has led into other stats, like Graham's tRA, which in a more advanced way tries to do the same thing, with the eventual goal of a perfect understanding of the way baseball works. To me, that's a much greater mark of fandom then trying to get to the park every day - it shows that in your spare time, the question "Why does a baseball offense/defense/pitcher work/not work" pops into your head. The point is that this all leads into finding better ways to win more games.
The second half of the equation is money, which is exactly what stats like VORP are made for. Being able to figure out where your money is best spent tends to be an underrated aspect of American life - it's good to know that our national media hasn't figured this out yet.
I won't pretend that I know how to do this type of analysis to nearly the level of detail of Jeff or Graham or Matthew, but I like to think that I understand what the end product is . To me, that's the key thing in the end - do I understand the end product of the work. I try my best to occasionally undertake stupid little small sample studies that people have probably already done, but those are just for my own curiosity more than anything. Basically, the article has espoused every negative aspect of looking at the game from the idiot fans' perspective.
And lets be honest here - when I go to Safeco or Angel Stadium or Petco (YAY COMING UP!), I have no intention of looking at Erik Bedard and thinking "Damn that's three wins above average right there, bitch!" I'm thinking "Come on Erik, strike this guy out!" And yes, I have both a beer and either nachos or a hot dog in front of me.
by seattlebruin on Apr 11, 2008 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Exactly.
There are actually people out there who think that the more statistically inclined fans are unable to separate themselves from the analytical side of the game when watching it. Before I became more heavily interested in stats I knew when people sucked and when people were good, and I responded accordingly. The only difference now is that I have a better understanding of why they suck/are good and whether or not they are likely to continue on that path. I still cheer just as loudly when my team of choice benefits from luck and get just as irrationally pissed when they don't.
Its such a long way down/Maybe I should try a floor below
A softer landing might just ease the pain
Being a coward is such a drag
by acblue on Apr 11, 2008 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I really can't even read stuff like that
I hate watching people wallow in their own ignorance. I made it about a paragraph in and I couldn't go on.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on Apr 10, 2008 9:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
This is unfathomably retarded.
This opens up new levels of retarded. I don't even think the kids on Baker's blog would find this article anything but the pinnacle of retardation.
Or... It's so tarded it tarded again.
Whatever, this is crap. I almost feel like writing Geoff Baker and asking him to publicly humiliate it.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on Apr 10, 2008 10:14 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Well it's already been publicly humiliated by FJM
by Jeff on Apr 10, 2008 10:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm pretty sure this isn't satire.
Armstrong's wikipedia article said that he's a contributor on ESPN's Around the Horn, and it's common knowledge that everyone on that show are close minded douche's attempting yet failing to be funny.
by redwolf75 on Apr 10, 2008 10:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ah, I didn't realize the acronym until you said that.
Okay, well, that's good.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on Apr 10, 2008 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Great Article or Best Article Ever?
I'll go with the latter.
Just for a little perspective. This is the guy who fills in for Woody Paige on Around The Horn. I wouldn't expect too much from Woody Paige's backup.
by thenatural on Apr 11, 2008 8:30 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I think it's supposed to be:
"Great Article? Or The Greatest Article?"
Unless you were not making a random Colbert Report reference, in which case I apologize.
...and now I'm here
by Librocrat on Apr 11, 2008 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
GWRBI?
Seriously?
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
by Mariner John on Apr 11, 2008 11:48 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs















