The freakiest thing I've ever heard.

LL is not your personal LiveJournal.

may offer a potential solution. We'll see.

Can we figure out what we keep doing wrong, why the good times never last for long?  What are we doing wrong?

On The Faerie Queene, Book III, Canto VII

Stanzas 12-13 quickly, yet effectively introduces the witch's son, while providing the next turn in the story and, concurrently, the next test to Florimell's chastity (as if being in a wicked witch's home in the middle of nowhere isn't problematic enough).

Book III, Canto VII, Stanzas 12-13

This wicked woman had a wicked sonne,
  The comfort of her age and weary dayes,
  A laesie loord, for nothing good to donne,
  But stretched forth in idlenesse alwayes,
  Ne euer cast his mind to couet prayse,
  Or ply him selfe to any honest trade,
  But all the day before the sunny rayes
  He vs'd to slug, or sleepe in slothfull shade:
Such laesinesse both lewd and poore attonce him made.

He comming home at vndertime, there found
  The fairest creature, that he euer saw,
  Sitting beside his mother on the ground;
  The sight whereof did greatly him adaw,
  And his base thought with terrour and with aw
  So inly smot, that as one, which had gazed
  On the bright Sunne vnwares, doth soone withdraw
  His feeble eyne, with too much brightnesse dazed,
So stared he on her, and stood long while amazed.

Curious is the usage of the word wicked to describe her `sonne,' not consistent with a son described as a `laesie loord' who `stretche(s) forth in idleness always,' the worst of his detailed sins.  Sure, sloth is a sin, but if sloth is wicked, a context to share with lechery and treachery, then we all have one proverbial foot in hell.

Why `wicked'?  Well, `wicked' is a word derived from wicca, the practice of witchcraft.  My best guess is that this is guilt by association, and since this is a son of a witch, and not a productive member of society, that he is basically wicked by proxy.

His laziness is not only illustrated via these details, but made clear by a simple subtextual fact: he still lives with his mother.  The witch is shown not to be heartless when she takes pity on Florimell, but this is also shown when Spenser describes the son as `The comfort of her age and weary dayes.'  To pointedly state that she takes comfort in her son's presence, and has enough sympathetic intentions to let the bum live with her, indicates a heart capable of love that belies the conventional notion of witches as heartless schemers.  This is not your normal witch.

So, like mother, like son, and as he comes home he finds what Spenser describes as `The fairest creature, that he euer saw.'  To take any sort of a strong opinion is much unlike your conventional sloth, and it looks like the kiss of death to logic and reason: love at first sight.  And he's in luck, because nothing's hotter than being a lazy grown man who lives with his mother.

Oh wait.

And then the confusing line, "And his base thought with terrour and with aw... So inly smot..."  The rest of the stanza makes sense, as he stares transfixed at what obviously is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, but what base thought is inly smot with terrour and with aw?  Does her innocence lead him to quash any notions of the usual lust that a witch's son would have?  Or is his terror and awe at the fact that this girl is out of his league being smot, like one who stares at the sun and `doth soone withdraw... His feeble eyne, with too much brightnesse dazed'?  I think that's the right interpretation, but I'm not sure.

Nonetheless, even though Florimell is thrust into a terrifying situation, it's the lives of the people she encounters that have really been shaken up at her arrival.  Go figure.

and yes ide say the freakiest stuff is generally heard under the influence

that Coach is like 17 years old, which automatically means that anything prefaced with "I've ever (seen/heard/read) has to be taken with a grain of salt.  Small sample size and all that.

"I brought in Mateo, because I needed a ground ball..."

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SON OF A...
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I'm ever so flattered to be the diaryist Jeff used to demonstrate on-topicness...

Secondly... Mark S... None of your models are naked!?!  Why are you posting pictures of fully clothed womenfolk?  That's very extremely off topic.

during the season, someone should put up a "topic free-for-all" diary so that actual baseball-content stuff doesn't get drowned in discussions about people's favorite shoelaces.  I don't mind it during the off-season, when I'm as bad an offender as anyone, but during the season I'd really like to see the diaries be (and stay) more baseball-related and on topic, and I'm sure Jeff would probably agree.