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OTFPOTD: Weekend bowling edition

Tiny by Thingray on Comment 234 comments

I honestly don't have any great ideas for this post, but the one from Friday was getting crazy long and hard to load.

So let's see what I can think of:

Looks like our winter storm never really arrived, just got crappy weather instead.

I have to bowl in playoffs tonight missing two of my team, that should be exciting.

Company Christmas parties, your feelings?

Laptops hurt my eyes and wrists.

Survivorman is going off the air, bummer!

And now I'll try some tags.

0 recs  |  Comment 234 comments

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Read More: jeanuts looked awesome in her dress last night, bacon rules, im really starting to like shasta pop, i love bowling and jeanuts, facebook is addicting, goodbye survivorman

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I think it's just you and I today, my friend

I assume that your league still adds a score for absent bowlers? Could be worse then, I suppose. At least you won’t have to forfeit for not having enough bodies

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 1:09 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

No forfeit, just -10 from their averages as an automatic score.

And we’re not allowed to add subs, otherwise Jeanuts would bowl and I’d try to talk you into being at Robin Hood at 5:30.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 1:15 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

The 10 pin drop is pretty standard

and no subs is a bummer because I would try and get up there for it. I’m supposed to work, but fuck it

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 1:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Same in my league

USBC rule, I believe

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 1:28 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Pretty sure you're right.

This sucks because they just reset my average at the beginning of this year, so it’s harder for me to go way above m average.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 1:33 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Your average will always reset at the beginning of the year.

They will use last year’s book average to calculate points for the first 3 weeks while you establish your new average and then your new average will take effect from the 4th week on

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:38 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

It didn't seem like they did that last year.

Plus I got a new ball mid-season, which raised my average significantly. This year they simply zeroed our averages from game one. I was pissed because then there was no handicap. I think someone (league president) fucked up.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:00 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Sounds like it, though the rules may be different with your league

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 3:01 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think so,

I think I just got screwed because I missed the first week.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:19 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

If something like this happens next year, call me.

I had a tournament today (and averaged ~170 on a relatively hard shot) and I’m still bowling juniors until May… but I hardly turn down the chance to bowl.

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Dec 13, 2008 7:46 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Word to tag number 5.

Mariners ----> Brewers.

by Taylor H on Dec 13, 2008 1:22 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Facebook.

It’s sooo distracting, but I love it.

Mariners ----> Brewers.

by Taylor H on Dec 13, 2008 2:52 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Me too.

I should have nown better than to sign up. It’s like my cell phone, I can’t live without it now, even though I resisted getting one with all my might before.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:01 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I don't have the addicition that everybody else does

Probably because nobody messages me or anything

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 3:02 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Loser.

(I do not have a Facebook account. Probably because nobody would message me either.)

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 3:04 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'll have to start leaving it open then

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:13 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

There ya go.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 4:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Both wonderful things.

Where you going in Hawaii?

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 1:53 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Waikiki.

Touristy, but at least our hotel is right on the beach this time.

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 2:54 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Too bad. There's so many nicer places that tourists never get to.

Still, you’ll be in Hawaii, so that’s cool.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:02 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Oh I know. This will be my 10th trip.

My gilfriend and my sister’s boyfriend have never been though. We decided to just go full on tourist this trip.

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 3:04 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Not a bad plan for a first trip.

That will give them what they’re expecting.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:07 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hopefully the weather is better there...

The rains and floods there have been pretty bad, I hear…

This signature space for rent.

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2008 10:47 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Early Christmas?

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 1:53 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I like March.

Still close enough to Christmas to get accessories for the gifts and stuff. Plus I usually get my tax return about then, so I can splurge on myself.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:12 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'm June.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:16 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

October for me.

This always works well for me because I get 2 and a half months from there to christmas, so I still get something at both

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:21 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I considered going that route

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:33 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Bahahaha!

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:36 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Good form

Bloody good form.

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:38 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

LOL!

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:02 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Occasionally.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Usually drunken.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Now that's rather rude.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:36 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

So's your face

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:39 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Good point.

But your mother seems to like it.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:40 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

MY MOTHER IS A SAINT!

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:41 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

BOTD...

Sorry no picture.

Jalepeno bacon wrapped duck:
Jalepeno Peppers (1 pepper per 2 duck breasts…per 4 duck breasts if that is too spicy for ya) Bacon (2 slices per breast Duck breast fillets
Cooking Directions:

1. Hollow Jalepeno peppers and cut in half or in fourths. 2. Place in center of duck breast 3. Roll breast around peppers 4. Roll bacon strips around breast 5. Throw on grill and check duck meat when the bacon gets crispy.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:05 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

You quack me up!

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:08 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I feel instant remorse for that comment.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:09 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Not yet.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:11 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'll be attending an art show/party this evening. Mrs. Ess is the subject of one of the paintings.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:12 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Quite the opposite. A bunch of art punks I hang with.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:14 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

You sold me. Back in a sec.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:20 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hee hee hee hee...

Peer pressure..

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:24 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Lucky...

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:24 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I know.

I really want to crack a beer and have a shot right now, but I have to wait until I get to bowling. At least I don’t have to drive tonight, thanks Jeanuts!

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:10 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Me neither..

:(

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:13 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I call bullshit

You knew exactly what you were doing there

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Shennanigans?

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:24 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Yes, yes I did.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:24 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hit me.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:11 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

To stomp out forest fires.

You know why Smokey the Bear wears boots?

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:11 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hit me.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:13 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

*Instantlyregrets decision to hit kevin_ess*

Wakes up next to badly beaten hobo.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:15 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I liked your joke.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:16 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Thanks.

I’ve been carrying that one around since about 5th grade.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

In case anyone is in need of some spirit-lifting...

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

“What’s all the screaming about in there?” he yells. “You’re scaring my customers!”

“I’m just sitting here on the toilet,” slurs the drunk, “and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts.”

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, “You idiot! You’re sitting on the mop bucket!”

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Or the classic.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says “Hey, why the long face?”

by Coach Owens on Dec 13, 2008 2:21 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

A guy walk into a bar.

Ouch, that must have hurt.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

A bear walks into a bar in bandages, and says "I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw."

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:25 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Another good one...

An old man is sitting out on his porch one day. He watches as the nine year old downthe street walks by carrying a roll of chicken wire. The old man askes, “Just what are you doing with that chicken wire, son?” The boy says, “I’m gonna catch me some chickens!” The old man says, “Dammit boy, you can’t catch no chickens with chicken wire!” The boy shrugs and keeps walking. He returns about an hour later, and the old man is shocked to see about eight chickens tangled up in the wire.

Two days later, the boy walks by with a roll of duct tape, and the same conversation ensues, only to have the boy return with five ducks stuck to the tape!

Another day passes, and the boy again walks by. The old man asks, “Watcha got there, boy?” The boy responds, “Pussywillow.”

The old man says, “Hold on – let me change into a nicer shirt!”

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:35 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Another classic!

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:36 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Some guys are at a Georgia football game,

and as usual, the walk Uga out onto the 50 yard line during halftime. The dog begins licking his crotch, and one guy says, “man, I wish I could do that!”
The other guy responds, “that dog would bite you…”

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:38 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Okay.

Guy walks into a bar with a pet monkey. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and runs to the pool table and swallows the cue ball. The bartender gets pissed and throws the guy out.

A week later the guy comes back into the bar with the monkey, and apologizes, so the bartender lets him sit down. A couple minutes later, the monkey grabs a peanut off of the bar and shoves it up his ass.

The bartender sees this and gets pissed again, and the guy says:

“Hey, after that cue ball, he sizes everything up before he eats it!”

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 2:58 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I love that one!

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 3:15 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Not sure I got it exactly right,

it’s been a while since I’ve heard it.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Jesus, that sounds great

Duck is very very good

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I wonder if I'll get Call of Duty: World at War for my birthday next Sunday.

That’d be pretty coincidental since Kiefer Sutherland’s in it and that’s his birthday as well.

by Coach Owens on Dec 13, 2008 2:24 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Then you could hear him screaming at you all the time while you play it

And if you win in multiplayer as the Marines then he’ll cuss at you.
‘’Outstanding, Marines! Out-fucking-standing!’’

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:27 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Never touched it

SB and I play pretty often, but multiplayer only. He’s the only person I know that plays often enough to do it. Get the game, and I’ll gladly play some with ya

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:35 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Gotta get my 360 fixed as well.

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

by Coach Owens on Dec 13, 2008 2:36 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Suckperstar

Tonight? I’m home at about 10, I think

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:42 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hmmm, might be on

I’ve already played a lot today =/, might go out

Haha, who am I kidding, I’ll be playing Xbox

by seattlebruin on Dec 13, 2008 4:43 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

We are your social life

I’ll keep an eye out for ya

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:44 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

So the winter snow storm came for me instead:

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 2:43 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

And you are where, again?

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:44 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Utah

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 2:54 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

That's big enough to house all nine of your wives!

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:55 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I limit myself to five.

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 2:56 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Smart man. Anything more is a headache.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:57 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I had a dusting last night in the Renton Highlands

Just enough to cover my dirt driveway and the grass, as well as rooftops and the like. Basically just enough to know that it happened

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:46 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I live right by Lake Washington

so we rarely get snow, even when the rest of Seattle is getting it.

by Coach Owens on Dec 13, 2008 2:49 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Bummer

I wish it would snow more around here, although I would have to find a new line of work probably

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:53 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

They seem to sell plenty of cars in the MidWest...

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 2:55 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

But it always snows there, so they are used to it

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 2:58 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Everett is just getting a tiny little dusting.

Not enough to stick though.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:03 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Go to hell.

    3°F

    10°F | 3°F
    Partly Cloudy

    * Feels like: 3°F
    * Humidity:76%
    * Wind: 14 mph SW

    * Pressure: 30.65 in/Hg
    * Visibility: 10 mi
    * Wind Chill: -16°F

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 3:16 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

That is hell.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I've heard hell is a smidge warmer...

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 3:21 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

ZOMG no religion!

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Robert Frost

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 3:24 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I feel smarter now.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:25 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Haiku...

Fuck this cold ass place
Money or not it’s freezing
light my pants on fire

thewyrm

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 3:26 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Another (thewyrm is prolific)

I want to go home
instead I’m stuck in Hades
raped by polar bear

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 3:43 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

No still means no.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:54 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

True Story:

One of my best friends has a problem with blurting. We are in a college history class learning about the Imperial Japanese occupation of China. We get to talking about the atrocities in Nanking when the professor says “Of course this came to known as the Rape of Nanking.”

My buddy without any pause or hesitation says in the middle of class and I quote: “Oh come on! You saw what Nanking was wearing! She wanted it.”

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 4:00 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

LOL!

WHat did the professor do?

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 4:05 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

You could hear a pin drop for a few moments.

I literally picked up my desk and moved a few inches away from him. The professor just shook his head and continued with the lecture.

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 4:11 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I would have thrown a rib from laughing so hard

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:16 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Okay,

A guy gets a new shotgun for Christmas, and decides to go out and shoot himself a black bear. He goes into the woods, locates a bear, and kills it with one shot. Suddenly he gets a tap on his shoulder. It’s a Grizzly, who asks, “What’s your name?” The guy says, “Joe.” The Grizzly says, “Well Joe, you just shot my cousin. I’m going to give you two choices. I either maul you to death right here and now, or you let me have my way with you.”
Joe thinks about it, and figures he ought to go with the second option.
After recovering two months later, Joe is fucking pissed. He sets out to find the grizzly. Sure enough, he finds the bear and kills it. Another tap on the shoulder. It’s a panda. The panda says, “I’m going to give you the same two options my cousin here did.” Joe obliges.
Another two months go by, and now Joe is out for revenge. He finds the panda, shoots and kills it, and receives yet another tap on the shoulder.
It’s a polar bear. The polar bear asks, “What’s your name?” Joe is crushed. He replies, “It’s Joe.” The polar bear says, “Joe, you’re not out here for the hunting, are you?”

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 4:07 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Joseph, you're not here for Mariners conversation, are you?

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 4:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Rarely.

They haven’t given me much to talk about in recent years.

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 4:24 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Haha

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:28 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

So I am going grocery shopping.

Any quick snack food ideas to suggest picking up?

Salami, crackers, and cheese are on my list.

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 3:06 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

What's in them?

Are they like Jalapeño poppers, but with chicken instead?

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 3:10 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

No, just popcorn chicken with a spicy coating.

Goes great with ranch or blue cheese dip.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:12 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Those are delicious.

Mariners ----> Brewers.

by Taylor H on Dec 13, 2008 8:30 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Tyson makes them,

I think they’re called “Any-tizers”.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:13 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Reply fail.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:13 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'll check them out.

They sound absolutely delicious.

Oh fuck you. Get out of work? Do what i do and piss your pantalones. Ain’t no one going to fuck with you when you piss your pants. -- kevin_ess, winebibber

by Wilder. on Dec 13, 2008 3:14 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Delightfully, I'm still in my pajamas enjoying a nice glass of wine.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 3:16 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Jerk.

I had to get out of my bathrobe to unload groceries.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 3:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I just spent the last hour out on the lot with a customer

It is really fucking cold out. You suck

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Nope

But I set an appointment with her tomorrow, so not all is lost

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:40 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

That's pretty much every day for me.

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. *edit: well, shit. This isn't going well.

by kevin_ess on Dec 13, 2008 3:41 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)

What you need Natalie? (To fuck all night!)

Fear the NPE

by thewyrm on Dec 13, 2008 3:55 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Subtract the smoking

Add some video games, and that’s pretty much where I’ve been at lately

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:19 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I wish I could.

Damn addictions.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 4:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Sweet.

Jeanuts is making me a panini before we head off to bowling.

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 4:10 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

It was good.

Salami, peppers and cheese. Yum!

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 4:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'm outta here!

Into the snow, gotta go bowl!

Man do I love midgets.

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2008 4:23 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

I wish it was snowing here

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:26 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I can imagine

Always liked that song

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:41 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I take it

everyone has seen the Jizz in my Pants music video?

by brayden04 on Dec 13, 2008 4:41 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

I think Phildopip posted it earlier

I was about to watch it again, but I Jizzed. In. My pants.

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:42 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Starting to snow in Shoreline

Driving home tonight is probably going to suck because of the icy roads. Wheeee!

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 4:58 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

I was just over in Edmonds, the shopkeepers were all saying it had been slow today.

They pretty much blamed the weatherman for predicting snow this morning. Seen a few sprinkles, but that’s so far. Maybe tonight then.

Formerly dpseadvr.

by Kermit. on Dec 13, 2008 5:37 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

The fear-mongering news media really loves to mess with my business

They tell people the economy sucks and that they shouldn’t buy cars, and nobody buys cars. They say it’s going to snow and be icy, and nobody comes to even look at cars. And of course, it didn’t even start to really snow until just now. It was just spitting earlier, but now it’s a little more steady

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 5:39 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Just played some bball for the first time since the summer.

Fuckin a I’m beat. 5 on 5 full court for like 2 hours. And I never really played ball until this summer (I played hockey in the winter in HS) so to call me a little off in my shooting would be an understatement.

Also I finally cracked 200 in bowling a couple weeks ago. It will never happen again, but it was sick.

Go Nova

by dbroncos31 on Dec 13, 2008 6:50 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Congrats on the 200

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 6:55 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Good evening, fellows.

Bellingham is getting crazy hammered with snow right now. Could get a good 2-4 inches if this keeps up. I’m just going to brew up a pot of coffee, read some Calvin and Hobbes, and observe the madness from the safety of inside.

Every day I hear about Seattle sports' failures. Every night I fall asleep to the sound of my own tears.

by Benne on Dec 13, 2008 7:51 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Not much snow where I am (well it's falling but not sticking)

But I am still opting to stay inside. Coffee sounds like a good idea…hmmmm.

Awww Calvin and Hobbes….

I got an emergency bad weather alert (because of Commencement this weekend apparently) notification from my school however. I graduated but I still get those. Apparently it’s really snowy in Pullman and could reach temperatures below zero over the weekend there. Yuck! I guess there is always someplace worse than where you are.

by Smith18 on Dec 13, 2008 8:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

WOOOO!!!!

Mariners ----> Brewers.

by Taylor H on Dec 13, 2008 10:16 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I came here just to make sure you got it.

It was snowing like crazy down 405 from I-90 all the way into Renton. Put down about an inch at my place in about a half hour

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 10:47 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

So TSO concerts are really long.

But at the end Steven Tyler came out to sing Dream On and Sweet Emotion.

All in all, a good night. I’d rather have had stuffing than Applebee’s though. Uck.
Damn you lucky stuffing-eating people.

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray

by Faux on Dec 13, 2008 9:25 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Damn, we're just getting dumped on.

A good 2-3 inches already, with no signs of letting up.

Every day I hear about Seattle sports' failures. Every night I fall asleep to the sound of my own tears.

by Benne on Dec 13, 2008 9:32 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

So sitting in Montesano and watching a parade in the freezing ass snow fucking sucks.

But the Festival of Lights was awesome as always so yay.

I am not looking forward to the drive home from work.

by Goose on Dec 13, 2008 9:55 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Hahahaha!

“But the old, obsolete stats haven’t been replaced, and new, more appropriate stats haven’t been added to the box score. Why? Because the people in power in Major League Baseball don’t want to change traditional stats; they’re old-fashioned, and don’t want the game to be ‘played by robots.’”

Mariners ----> Brewers.

by Taylor H on Dec 13, 2008 10:17 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Quotes are usually accompanied by a link, or at least a description of where it came from.

It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray

by Faux on Dec 13, 2008 10:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

This is true.

Mariners ----> Brewers.

by Taylor H on Dec 13, 2008 10:27 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

When I'm reading about last nights game in the morning paper, knowing some of your advanced metrics wouldn't make a lot of sense to me.

I mostly want to see who had hits and how many, who scored. Who made all the outs (Ritchie Sexon. Again.) I can build the game in my head pretty quickly that way. It’s just one game.

Formerly dpseadvr.

by Kermit. on Dec 13, 2008 11:11 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Witness relocation

Don’t tell anybody

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 14, 2008 10:38 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Nice one! I never think of those witty remarks until the moment to use them has long passed.

I was a commercial diver, but no more. : ( Now I get to do all the stuff I always wanted to do.

Formerly dpseadvr.

by Kermit. on Dec 14, 2008 1:13 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

No longer a diver because you rolled on Paulie and his boys

You got big brass ones, my friend. Your secret is safe with me, though

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 14, 2008 2:27 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

So looking at the long range forecasts

it’s pretty clear that whatever snow and ice is on the ground is going to stay for a while. The warmest it’s going to be over the next 7 days is apparently 33 degrees.

by BrianL on Dec 13, 2008 10:37 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

That's so wonderful

I love cold weather. It’s snowing like crazy again at my house. I could sit up all night and watch it

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 10:47 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Except driving from Renton to North Seattle tomorrow is going to be miserable

FUCKING MISERABLE

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 10:49 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I am not looking forward to my commute on Thursday/Friday.

Looks like it’s going to be cold and even more moisture in the forecast.

That said YAY SNOW!

by BrianL on Dec 13, 2008 10:52 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I am very interested to see how the models hold up the next few days

Late Wednesday through Friday could be very interesting. And then the 23rd and 24th are even showing some real potential (dare I say White Christmas?)

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 10:56 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

No kidding

Though 2 of the 3 major models have been showing it with some consistency for the last week almost, which is a decent sign.

HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)

by tootthekazoo on Dec 13, 2008 10:59 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

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