Community Projection: Raul Ibanez
by Jeff on Dec 1, 2008 8:13 PM PST
in Community Projections
90 comments
The sixth in a non-alphabetical and irregularly updated series of review pieces for each(?) of the players we predicted last spring.
LL/USSM Community: .276/.343/.447
Actual Line: .293/.358/.479
I'm tired of writing the same stuff about Ibanez over and over again so today I give you the illustrated version of what should at this point be common knowledge.
Yes, Raul Ibanez is a good hitter. Over the last three years he's been the best hitter on the team. But hitting is only half of his job, and while he's been able to hold his own in that department for a while, his defense has slipped to the point at which he could leave his glove in the outfield and go get some snacks during play and still provide a reasonable approximation of his physical ability. Overall he's been a below-average player these last two years, and at 36 years old, his best days are behind him, meaning whoever gives him a three-year contract to reward his professionalism and RBI totals will be paying a guy who simply doesn't help the team win. A small drop in his offense going forward will get him pushing the boundary of 1 WAR, and any significant age-related decline will sink his value in a hurry. He's just a bad gamble. Shame on the team that gives Raul the money he's going to get.
Raul, I appreciate all the run production and hard work, but your canonization is a shining example of everything that was wrong with the prior front office. Although I like you fine as a guy and as a role model for some of the younger players, I am beyond ready to move on and replace you with someone who gets more done, so with that in mind, good luck, and thanks for the laughs. Your defense may have contributed to the killing of a season, but your .gifs were what saved it. And that counts for something.
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I'm speechless.
How did Robert get access to your account?
by Wilder. on Dec 1, 2008 8:17 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Jeff why are you so incredibly awesome
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
by I'm NOT Corco on Dec 1, 2008 8:24 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I laughed.
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Dec 1, 2008 8:28 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I just would like to know what that cannon is made out of and how long the seige by Flyballville took
by Fogel on Dec 1, 2008 8:30 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Flyballvillians (I assume that's what they're called)
were probably already pissed off that some of them have oddly geometric-shaped heads. The cannon just sent them over the edge.
by Matthew on Dec 1, 2008 9:42 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I have to think that the fact that their land looks to be radioactive has something to do with it.
by Robert on Dec 1, 2008 9:55 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
So really it's Jeff they should be mad at.
by acblue on Dec 1, 2008 9:59 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
They're incapable of lowering their arms below parallel with the ground,
so their modes of revenge are limited.
by Matthew on Dec 1, 2008 10:01 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Who the fuck keeps the weapon cache to a 4 story cannon in the middle of tiny village
More like Justaskingfortroubletopia
by Robert on Dec 1, 2008 10:03 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
One arm. Once. In one shot.
I call parallax.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on Dec 2, 2008 10:30 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Yes, I noticed that shortly thereafter
but I didn’t want to ruin my parallax joke.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on Dec 2, 2008 3:48 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The cannon is made out of offensive output
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
by BrettJMiller on Dec 1, 2008 9:55 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The siege was similar in length to the Danish Siege of Arhus in 1050.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on Dec 2, 2008 10:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
It would have been interesting to see Ibanez try out 1B a little last year.
It probably would have been a disaster but as long as he would have been better than David Ortiz at 1B, he would have been an improvement over his current LF defense.
by Edgar for Pres on Dec 1, 2008 8:35 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
You should just post in pics and fictional chats for the next month
by Gomez on Dec 1, 2008 8:42 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Did anyone else know that Raul is the worst 3rd baseman ever, statistcally speaking?
by Kirkharbaugh on Dec 1, 2008 8:55 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Umm, what?
Jeff's guide to not looking stupid:
+/- is an absolutely terrible stat, so don't use it, and don't give up on young players before they turn 24.
54!
by joof on Dec 2, 2008 12:02 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Raul has one throwing error in 1 chance at 3rd.
by Robert on Dec 2, 2008 12:32 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
AHAHAHAHAHA
That’s totally awesome.
Jeff's guide to not looking stupid:
+/- is an absolutely terrible stat, so don't use it, and don't give up on young players before they turn 24.
54!
by joof on Dec 2, 2008 3:30 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
My question is, what happened in panel 9 that caused the ground to heave up so suddenly?
Do the Flyballians have an earthquake machine?
by Goose on Dec 1, 2008 10:06 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
i'm new here
and just finished watching some of the gifs on the right sidebar. i have to say, those are only funny because (a) it’s the first time i’ve seen them (especially the lawn dart); and (b) because Raul is not on the Giants, and hopefully will never be
Adopted Giant: Aaron King
Wearing the crown by 2011. Or at least the LOOGY hat
by baetown415 on Dec 1, 2008 10:21 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Thanks for stopping by.
Just FYI, we like to make proper use of the shift key here.
Also, they don’t stop being funny just because you’ve seen them.
by Matthew on Dec 1, 2008 10:27 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
but wait.
what if the boat isn’t really from Flyballville, but actually carrying men from Raultopia under the Flyballville flag, and are attacking Raultopia just to to give Raul an cheap excuse to attack Flyballville when it isn’t expecting it….
by msb on Dec 1, 2008 10:32 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
The plot thickens!
Duh duh duuuuuh!
by seattlesundevil on Dec 1, 2008 11:07 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Why have a really expensive cannon then?
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
by I'm NOT Corco on Dec 2, 2008 12:43 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
do I really have to be the one ...
to explain to young Not Corco why some men feel the need to buy a …. really expensive cannon?
by msb on Dec 2, 2008 7:10 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
At the same time tell him
why some men feel the need to buy a red convertible with which to haul said cannon.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on Dec 2, 2008 8:02 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Oh right
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
by I'm NOT Corco on Dec 2, 2008 12:26 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Ruban would be a sick nickname if he ever were to need one
HA HA HA, your Grandpa's an ASS!- Tourette's Guy (R.I.P)
by tootthekazoo on Dec 2, 2008 12:08 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Are Flyballvillains communist simpactico?
Why dont they have a huge canon, especially since it appears they have a greater population than Raultopica.
And my God Jeff WTF. This is now my favorite post on here.
by Slica on Dec 2, 2008 12:53 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
I was hoping to see a Raultopia fireball lawn dart.
by seamariners85 on Dec 2, 2008 8:43 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
How does this only have 17 recs?
This is without doubt the greatest frontpage post in the history of Lookout Landing
by seattlebruin on Dec 2, 2008 8:52 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Really?
The RRS blender?
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
by Faux on Dec 2, 2008 8:59 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
No, the blender wins over this.
It provided hours of entertainment attempting to decipher the images.
by NOLAmarinergirl on Dec 2, 2008 9:08 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Hit the buzz up button, I have no idea what happens when enough people do that.
Hopefully everyone with internet access will be linked to this post.
by dpseadv on Dec 2, 2008 1:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm afraid to hit that button
because it probably delivers some sort of bee sting or electrical shock. The internets scare me.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on Dec 2, 2008 1:56 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
How much longer do we have until Jeff starts posting entirely in images?
by BrianL on Dec 2, 2008 8:59 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
He's currently negotiating with Robert's an my lawyers
and we should have a royalty settlement by the end of the week.
Furcal
by JI on Dec 2, 2008 9:36 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Before/after
Stephon Marbury cut by Knicks
by seattlebruin on Dec 2, 2008 9:38 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
He could just ban you both, claim you gave permission, and you'd never be able to convince us otherwise.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on Dec 2, 2008 10:27 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
If butthol can master alt screennames I'd like to think I could too.
Furcal
by JI on Dec 2, 2008 10:33 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm sure you would like to think that.
I like using semi-colons; they make me feel smart.
by Llewdor on Dec 2, 2008 3:49 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I should have written about Nick Punto instead of showing a picture of him
by Jeff on Dec 2, 2008 9:42 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
there's a "short story" joke to be made here but I'm lazy
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on Dec 2, 2008 9:55 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The Offtop
has 10x as many words. People get tired after a while.
Furcal
by JI on Dec 2, 2008 10:16 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I think the number of all image posts is proportional to the intelligence of the viewers
I love them but give me a good recap of an Angels game. That’s where Jeff’s ability with words shines.
by Edgar for Pres on Dec 2, 2008 11:28 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks for the chuckle
I am no longer in Spokane, but I think I'll keep the name anyway.
by InSpokane on Dec 2, 2008 9:54 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
If that were an actual movie
I would have to quit my job.
by Shawk on Dec 2, 2008 2:18 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Perfect
This post is an absolutely textbook example of why, even as an A’s fan, this site easily make it into my 5 favorite websites on the internet, baseball related or not.
Thank you.
by SkipT on Dec 2, 2008 3:28 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Well that and the Mariners are (for the moment) the team Adrian Beltre plays for
And that means a hell of a lot too.
by SkipT on Dec 2, 2008 3:30 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Jeff = my furher.
I was at Shea for the Felix-Slam!
Personal M's record: 5-4.
by EnglishMariner on Dec 5, 2008 2:07 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I clicked the facebook icon for this.
Mariners ----> Brewers.
by Taylor H on Dec 9, 2008 9:40 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
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